Bäahal: What is it that you want?

Bäahal the resilient, the sun of Astapor, the jewel of Mereen, the silver princess. So many titles that barely scratched the surface of who and what Bäahal really was. Not so long ago, she wasn't allowed to think for herself. She wasn't allowed to dream or wish or Have her own agenda. She did anyway, by dreaming of freedom and doing her Best to survive until it was her moment. From this tiny act of rebellion, the potential soil on which she could grow was born. Her appetite for life was devastatingly out of control, taking her to new territories she couldn't have dreamed of. Her desire to live clumsily bumped with contradictory directions. "You serve and only serve there is no 'you'" would say her masters ", forcing her to keep her desires to herself, her hopes and dreams. "You owe me the truth and I want nothing but the truth." Would urge her sister, effectively forcing Bäahal to be open, to speak her mind, to dare think for herself. She was still learning how to balance everything out. How to be true and honest while keeping most of her thoughts to herself. She had to, the golden lion told her so.

She had a lot of thoughts, Bäahal found out, and desires and needs too. Some of them were directed at the golden Lion much to her dismay. His unsettling yet pleasant presence stirred emotions the princess had yet to decipher but refused to do so. Now wasn't the time, not when the world was potentially ending, not when the throne was within their grasp, not when the greater good was at stake. What was a soul's internal conflict when a million lives were at stake? What was the use of selfish desires when a bigger cause needed attention? Why should she look into herself when her skills were More useful on a battlefield? Unknowingly, war became an easy gateway she used to escape the real questions and her real fear. When the war will end and all will be said and done, she would need to look for an answer to the question Jon asked one day. "What is it, princess, that you truly desire?" Once Her sister would be queen, the mask would fall and she would need to Figure out who she really is.