DOYA: Lost without you

Doya: Lost without you

I love those moments of silence when there's nothing but the steady sound of our breathing and the quiet pace of our heartbeats. I love it when you hold me, with your chin resting on top of my head and your arms wrapped around my back. I love it most when we can fall asleep in each other's arms. I cherish those moments Dean, when peace finally, enters my soul and I can stop and breathe. We've said it several times already, our job is ungrateful and Death certainly awaits for both of us to come to greet them. I could be gone tomorrow, or you could get killed for all I know... our lives are short-lived, always hanging in the balance. However, I am now enjoying mine to the fullest, mostly because I know you're in this life, riding with me.

Sarah used to ask me, a lifetime ago if I was happy with you. She was convinced that the white-picket-fences life she chose would suit me. The American pie type of life, married with kids and pets in a home with white picket fences. I always told her that I was fine with the life I was leading with you. You are my apple pie, this life is my apple pie. Hunting monster, saving people that's our family motto. I guess after five years I am legitimate to consider myself a Winchester too, right? Maybe I'm not vocal enough, but I appreciated you coming to me when I was feeling blue. I was so distraught about forgetting my father's voice but you found a way to comfort me, as you always do. Dean, do you know how much I appreciate this?

I sincerely think I would be lost without you. How could I go on with my life, after I met you, Dean Winchester? How could I ever want to let someone else into my heart? The thought crossed my mind just a minute ago, and for a minute, I saw things with a clarity I never had before. Truth is, it had been a long time already since I decided to leave my bags at your door because I chose you to become my home. You are my home, my present, and my future Dean Winchester, and I hope, I pray, to have many years by your side and to have us live a satisfying life. I'm ready to go wherever you go until I die. Ah.. that's a cheesy line, but there again, I am cheesy...