Happy holidays 2020!

Art : Leonealart

Asma Jensen + outfit design © yours truly/ Kaedegirl/ Marlène Mongue-Din

year : 2020

2020, what a year!

I will, of course, write a short Christmas message with the traditional Santa Thong by Lelia, when she releases it:D but until then, this is a Holidays post:)

I know this year has been dreadful, complicated, complex, riveting, incredible, exciting to some and many of you. I can just wish that this end of the year finds you well, find you surrounded by your loved ones. I can only hope that the end of the year would at least help you breathe a little. I'm very proud of my lovelies who went through hell for some but survived, who lived their best lives to others. Look at us today. We're badasses. <3

Aside from the disbelief that we would be facing a pandemic, I think I have not anticipated this year as well as I could have. Unlike many, I cannot say that everything was a nightmare, that would not be true. Yes, I went through a lot of hardships, but unlike 2019, this year I was far more hopeful for my future. I decided I would not speak of those hardships in detail, at least not in this post but for the past couple of months, I have been heartbroken, anxious, in anguish, and definitely worried about my future. I had to make tough decisions and my anxiety filled my head every night. It was difficult to take care of my mental health during the height of the pandemic in my country, even more, when the therapist I was seeing -a trauma specialist- ended up not being compatible with me. But you know what they say, always get back up when you're knocked down. So I kept going.

I can't believe I finally made it and have officially quit my job. It had to be one of the hardest decisions I had to make and It took me a year of inner-debate and discussions to finally make it happen. My family and friends were of great support because they understood what I was going through. I left an abusive job, with incompetent and abusive managers. I left a job that sent me on medical leave and forced me to think of my health. I decided I had enough, and would never suffer the way I did for a heartless job that would quickly replace me should I die. I held onto the hope I would not suffer any longer and here I am... I made it!

Aside from this, it's also a year I've been very active with my personal projects. My book has consistently been going, hopefully, come to the end of the year 2021, it'll go to editing and translation in English too. My Poem Anthology « Misadventures of Eros and Thanatos » would be finished come next year and I will resume sketching as well. I'm so excited because being an artist is who I really am even though I am still fighting my head in order to make it happen. Little by little I'm getting there, and this year, I reconnected with that part of me. I have hope for the future and I hope that you would be aware of what's going on very soon! Thank you to those who've been supporting me all those years. I won't let Asma down. Ever <3

But I think the biggest treasure this year gave me was definitely just coming to the realization I have found the love of my life. Main Husband has always been open to discussion, he is honest, sincere, loving, and romantic at heart. He's very funny and I think I can't get enough of his tacky sense of humor or his passion for cinema. I can't get enough of his gentle touch or his presence. I can't get enough of us building our lives together and projecting into our future and I am especially grateful for him because he knows how my mind works, he understands, he is patient. I had always been certain that it was going to be « him », but this year consolidate it for me. So I am grateful for 2020 because it revealed our best and worst sides and yet, we're still there, together, going strong and accepting challenges.

To another year!

Happy Holidays everyone!