GoT : Regular: Shackles

 

GoT : Regular: Shackles

A/N : Just a little reminder of their boat conversation. ('one of these). I Love you <3

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Bäahal heard what Jon told her last time they talked. While the conversation might be complicated to have, Bäahal simply couldn't hide in her room, wishing things to get better without actually putting in the work to make it happen. Dany was known to be stubborn, but she was also known to be sensitive and to care a great deal about others. She cared for Bäahal, the princess knew. She cared for her life to the point of wanting to go with Drogon and burn every single soul to a crisp if that could have saved her sister. But she was also confused as to why Bäahal fell in love with Jaime and why she came back asking for permission to be with him. It was a lot of information to deal with and the silver queen wasn't exactly focused on this.

While Jon and Dany were to deal with the consequences of their marriage announcements, Bäahal was left to herself again. Her promise to Lady Kyra meant she couldn't in any way display her affection to the knight in public until the queen gave her blessings -which could never happen-. She could at times steal a moment or two since he was assigned to her protection and he had saved her from the siege and those were stolen moments in her room where she could passionately remind him of her love and commitment without it going any further then maybe a kiss between 4 walls. So she was left to her own company trying to force herself to see the world, get used to the castle again, hear words of support and sadness from the servants she used to know.

Her mind wandered, wondering how Lady Kyra was doing on her own and thinking of Johanna, the housemaid who nursed all of the Lannisters and who tried to bring the attention of the princess to the very fact Jaime actually cared for her. How was she doing? Did she know the crazy development that happened since then? What would she advise them to do? As her mind wandered in the past, she was suddenly reminded of a conversation they both had on the boat, about Tyrion. It took a while before the hand of the queen came to see her and tell her that he now realized just how pure and true this relationship was. She still remembered how he tried to shut it down and berate her for pursuing a romantic relationship with his brother. « you'll just be ruins and pain, princess if you kept going. Jaime is not capable of loving you. He's shackled to Cersei forever, their love knew no bound, and Time is not going to erase that love. It's not going to heal my brother. It's going to destroy you if you kept pushing. » Such harsh words he now regretted given their last conversations by the dragons' den.

It hurt Bäahal at the time, and it hurt so much that she was now wondering how Jaime felt when his brother berated him for the same reason? Could it be that this conversation led to Jaime being even more prudent and distant from her? What horrors did Tyrion tell him? Because Tyrion was very capable of using an acerb tongue and rub some salt in some deep-cut wounds just because he knew how to speak. He might not have been a knight, his tongue was sharp and heart just the same as if he had plunged a dagger into the heart of the recipient of his monologue. Jaime, Bäahal remembered how worried she was that Jaime followed his brother's advice and stopped pursuing her. What if he was convinced that his whole life would be spent in shackles, metaphorical or real ones? What if he was convinced to stop loving her because it would be best for the family? The very idea that Jaime could abandon her twisted her heart and elicited a groan from the princess who was now sitting on a bench of the gorgeous Red Keep's garden. She held onto her heart and could feel her lips tremble.

Would it is the first time, really? That someone she loved just died or gave up on her? no. It wouldn't be. Jaime gave her his heart, he tried to resist but couldn't after she pushed through. If he was unhappy, it was also her own fault for making him fall for her and for not turning her heels on it when she could have had. How could she? How could she turn on him when all she wanted was to run towards him? She knew the brothers had a conversation but weren't sure of what was said between the two of them and if anything was learned at the end of the Long Night, it was to not interfere in the business of the two brothers. Not knowing was killing her despite having heard the official apologies from Tyrion. Did he say the same to Jaime? Were they on speaking terms now? Did they reconcile? She couldn't know, and the only lasting feeling was that they were punished for being in love and no matter how long they waited, it would be denied. Perhaps, she should get used to it and do just as Jon instructed. Go back to family dinners, enjoy their presence, try and be respectful of her sister's desires. Yes. That would be best than staying alone and depressed. That would be best.

-TBC-