Colby: I want to grow old with you.

 I look at your sleepy face and lose my fingers into your black mane. You seem at peace, tonight, which makes me feel comfortable. I am not the easiest person to be with:  always worried, always afraid, but you shushed every little noise with your beautiful smile, I wonder...

I lay my head on your chest, eager to listen to your heartbeats and I find myself smiling in the dark of our room, at how silly this is. I smile at how I keep thinking you might just want to leave when you just said to me you wanted to see me grow old, just yesterday.

"I want to see you grow old, Mary," you said, a glitter never leaving your gaze as I gave you a surprised look. " You want to see me grow old? I can't imagine growing old if not  with you?" I dared to say, thinking of how tightly our lives would be tied and entangled.

You chose me and I think this is what I can't wrap my head around. You chose me, the one who usually was left behind.You chose me, the one who wouldn't even pick herself. Yes, You chose me, Tommy. You chose the one who couldn't see her at her best. And every day, waking up to you is a blessing, it's a gift you know?

I'm left wondering for a while how I achieved to do this, But then I realize that we have been walking this Earth together, Hand in hand and heart to heart. Haven't we? I realized that you're not perfect, well, I've always known that you weren't perfect. But you complete me which is what I need.

We complete each other and fill in each other's voids. You are strong when I'm not, I am strong when you're not. Together we're invincible.  Yet,  it happens I forget to breathe, and all of a sudden I forget that for all the time you lifted me up, I lifted you too. And for all the tears I wept for you and all the strength I lent you. You did the same for me.

"I never saved you, you saved yourself." You keep telling me. And it took me until dawn to realize what you meant with those words. I chose you and you chose me. We chose to walk together. Hand in hand and heart to heart, we chose to be together It's not me you saved, it's not you I saved. We pulled each other up

We built something I do actually trust.

We built something, I do actually love.

I want to grow old with you, I want us to have a happy life

We win, we lose, we fall and we rise

Together we will, together at last!

I love you, Tommy Shelby, I love you so much.