"As the lines are more and more blurred, I must have confused my love with devotion. Perhaps I didn't notice the difference between being forced to serve and choosing the purpose of my blades. Perhaps, I didn't notice the change within me as my humanity was acknowledged. I would joke, I would reject the very idea of being seen as a human being because it has been denied to me for so long.. I tasted freedom, this very thing I have always dreamed of, and it scared me because, for the first time in my life, I actually had more to lose than just my very life.
I could care less for it, for my life never truly meant anything but I do care for those others who looked at me in the eye and told me I was their kin, I was like them. I do fear for their lives and for their future because they can build one. They can have one. They are not tainted like I am, with blood, and violence, and heartbreak. They are not tainted like I am... their skin wasn't branded, their mind wasn't broken...They have known something else, something beautiful.
Or maybe those are just words I keep telling me because I do fret for my future, for the unknown life became the moment I was set free. I do fear for my future and those feelings which feel like an explosion inside. I cannot...I refuse to feel for it hurts too much and fills my head with questions I don't dare answer. I like routine, I like what I know but what I know are chains and even though they are not visible, I guess I am still in shackles."
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