A/ N: Sam and Dean aren't home just yet, so I'm stretching a little bit the time shared between Castiel and Oya. It's soon her anniversary! She's been through a lot lately so I'm giving her (Them) some rest.
Xxxxx
After saving Joshua, Oya slept for two days straight. She wouldn't wake up so Castiel decided he would let her rest and run some errands for her. He remembered she had not picked the framed collage she wanted to gift everyone with, so he went back to the mall and took it for her. It was simple and elegant, a black frame for a collage the size of a painting, with genuine pictures of the four of them. The angel fondly stared at the pictures, mostly selfies Oya took with all of them. It was a kind gesture, a very simple but effective one. He didn't realize she had taken so many pictures of them or that they even had a moment in their lives when everything wasn't grim and bleak. The angel brought the collage back and put it in her bedroom. He thought she was still sleeping but Oya had woken up a while ago. She had been thinking a lot since she opened her eyes.
Her anniversary was supposed to be something fun, to mark a beautiful moment in her life. It was a moment to celebrate and reflect on the last couple of years she spent in America. She sat on her bed and leaned her arms on her lap as the sweet memory of her late friend, Isaac Stenton filled her mind. How could she forget Isaac? He was the only civilian she saved a couple of years ago, who wanted to get to know her better. She couldn't forget his smiles and genuine affection towards her. Isaac helped Oya express her emotions, back when she was still very closed off and wouldn't admit she cared for the Winchesters more than she said she did. Isaac was a sweet soul who made a friend out of her and she realized that a year later, she was missing him. A quick hold on her phone and she texted his family, just to check on them. Thinking of him was painful and bittersweet but at the same time, she realized that he gave her more than she lost when he died.
He opened the door to a new beginning, to improve and to grow. She thought of Sarah and Joshua Thomas, her childhood friends who made quite a good life for themselves. Sarah had a family and was out of the hunting business once she got married. Joshua stayed a hunter and an actual good one, but even he was thinking of having his own family. They refused to let go of Oya when she came back to the USA and somehow, helped her realize that the Winchesters were her family. Funny, how life was when you thought of it. Since she wasn't sleeping anymore, Castiel simply straightened up and leaned against the wall.
« You're awake. » -He observed. She ran her hand through her heavy black locks-
« I am. » She rubbed her eyes and yawned again. « At long last! » She mused.
-Castiel nodded and said in his monochord voice-« I got your framed collage from the mall so you won't have to go take it. »
He tilted his head to the side as Oya flashed her gorgeous smile at him. It was her first genuine smile in a while because Castiel didn't have to go to such length for her. He usually didn't bother but this time, he did. The angel knew the petite hunter would appreciate it and because he knew she would be smiling, he simply did. Oya learned how to keep things simple over the years on her anniversary: A piece of some pie, one candle to represent the new year and eventually presents she would slip under their pillows, like a secret Santa. This year was no different, the collage was the present and instead of slipping it under their beds, they would hang it somewhere so they could see it. She was excited just because she anticipated their reactions and her smile grew in size before it withered. She woke up with worries in her mind, the remnants of the nightmares she had two days in a row and the thoughts of her loved ones who passed away. Oya woke up with the urge to celebrate life in all its forms and more specifically, the fact her loved ones were still alive, no matter for how long. She had wanted to talk about their rocky beginnings for a while now, but never really had the time so they could talk. Maybe, today was the day, she had to try.
« Thank you. You didn't have to. » -She stood up and stretched her arms, yawning one last time to fully wake up- « It's gorgeous, isn't it? »
« It's simple yes. » The angel replied with a nod. He liked the simplicity of it all, a nice collage of pictures that reminded them of the good times was worth all the vintage cars and artifacts they could find. « I like it. » He added to reassure her. Castiel knew he sometimes had to make sure she understood him fully. She wasn't like the brothers who could somehow, figure out what he meant, so he had to work a little harder when he perceived confusion in the young human. Compliments, for example, didn't occur naturally to the angel or didn't translate well when he tried to make some, so he had to adjust.
« I know. » She said with a soft smile, She turned around and removed the shirt she was wearing. Underneath her clothes were a pair of sports bra and boxers so she didn't feel worried about getting undressed in front of the angel. He could see the scars she had on her body, the long and deep cut from the Asanbosam, and some fresher stabbing wounds she sustained from her time against the shapeshifter. Oya had the body of a fighter. Anyone else would be off put but not Castiel and certainly not the Winchesters. Oya then went to Dean's dresser and took a large white towel from it she wrapped around her frame. « I have to hit the shower, but before I do, I wanted to talk to you. »
«Yes? » Castiel scratched the top of his nose but didn't move from the wall he was leaning against. She turned her head to glance at him and nodded. « I guess I'll have a seat then. » She nodded again and turned on her heels.
« Please. » He went and sat on the bed. She quietly walked towards him and sat next to him. « Thank you. I feel we haven't really stopped to talk about...us. » She began with, her fingers drummed against the soft fabric of the towel that covered her thigh. « And if I'm going to spend some more time with all of you here...There are some things that need to be said. Especially about you. » She bit her bottom lip and looked at him straight in the eye.
« Go ahead... » -His tone was still neutral but she could see he was curious about what she had to say.- « I'm listening. »
« I know. I know you are. I'm grateful you are. » She began with. « You know I hate angels. » -He nodded- « I already told you why so I won't repeat myself here. Today, I still feel the same because there are days I miss my family and it hurts so fucking much.» She patted the towel where her heart should have been. « I feel the same except for you. I love you. You know that. » She put her hand on his knee and looked up at his face.
« I can't speak for my siblings, I understand why you feel the way you do. They have failed you when they should have brought you comfort. We failed you. » He said, his blue eyes averting from her face to the hand that was holding his vessel's knees. « Well, lucky me then. » He teased, a smirk crossing his features. « I'd rather not be at the end of your wrath. »
« Oh come on! » She chuckled and held onto his knee tighter. « I mean it, Cas. What you did for me... »
Her voice broke as she thought of their latest hunt together. He did help her track down the possessed Joshua. Without Castiel, Oya would have never been able to save her friend, let alone face him. The very first reaction she had was run away because she couldn't face the Christian demon who possessed him. The nightmares she had ever since she encountered Possessed! Joshua was even worse than her regular ones. She ran away when she should have stayed and helped her friend. Castiel didn't judge her for her mistake, he didn't judge her for her genuine fear. After all, she hated angels but feared Christian demons, it was who she was. The angel helped her save Joshua, but she did overcome some of her fears and faced that demon anyway. She did it to save Castiel, not because it was Dean's best friend, but because she loved him. She realized it when they went up against that demon. She realized she would genuinely give her life to save Castiel's and it filled her with joy and fear. Something she couldn't fully explain. Shame took over, however, as she remembered the way she used to treat him before their relationship became better. Shame urged her to ask for forgiveness, so she did.
« You don't have to thank me for that. I wanted to help you. I know how important that was for you. Joshua is your friend, and you are terrified of demons. It made sense that I went with you. » He said, holding onto her shoulder. Oya nodded and leaned her cheek against his arm.
« I actually do have to thank you for that... And apologize too. I was a little bitch with you ever since we met. I put you in the same bag as all the angels and ignored everything Dean and Sam told me about you. I wanted to hate you, I needed to hate you because you were the first angel I've ever met and at long last, I had someone I could lash out at. It was dumb, selfish, and horrible for me to treat you the way I did. » She closed her eyes. « I ask for your forgiveness, but you don't have to forgive me. »
She resumed drumming on her lap. He stared at her for a while, stoic as usual until finally, his gaze became warmer and he gently cupped her other cheek. He knew she had been thinking about it for months, probably since the very first day they got along well and it stayed at the back of her head. He wanted to help her feel better and relieve her from a self-imposed burden. Her eyes averted from his neck to finally meet his warm gaze. He might not smile, but she knew he was looking at her with great care in his baby blues. She was certain now, that he cared for her otherwise he wouldn't have gone with her in this case. He wouldn't have saved Joshua for her, he wouldn't have forced her to stitch her head or even bother bring her home. He did all of this because he wanted to and because he could. It didn't get lost on Oya who put her hands over the back of his larger ones and tried to smile to him.
« I forgave you long ago Oya. I forgave you because I understood why you were acting like this. I forgave you when I realized you really cared for the brothers and you would do anything in your power to save them. I forgave you a long time ago, you don't need forgiveness. » He then planted a kiss on top of her head.
« Thank you... » She choked on her words and shut her eyes tight. Oya was exhausted, emotionally exhausted from the last months she'd just spent. The constant fights, the heavy cases, the dangers she escaped from. She nearly died several times, had to watch old friends die, had to save Joshua from being possessed by a demon, had to talk Sarah out of becoming a hunter and even now, she had to struggle with her feelings. It was a lot. She felt a lot and her heart could not handle that many feelings, some had to come out. « Thank you. » She repeated again, as tears filled her closed eyes. She knew she wouldn't be able to contain them so she didn't even try.
« You're welcome. » -He simply said, his features giving him a relaxed expression on his face, which helped Oya relax as well.- « I like you Oya. You're family. » She skipped a heartbeat as he spoke. « It took some time but I saw you for who you really are. I like that person. » She nodded as a couple of tears just ran down her cheeks. « I know you care about this family as well. You care a lot. » -She nodded again-
« Which is why I should tell you...What happened with Joshua made me realize that, if I ever became evil, or possessed or...promise me you will be the one to finish me off. »
« What are you talking about? »
« I can't do that to Dean. He can't be the one to kill me. He can't... » She swallowed a lump and bit her bottom lip. « It happened already... When he fought against the Shapeshifter? He had to kill her--- me! She looked just like me. He had to kill me. » She said, her eyes wet from all the tears she was crying. « We never talked about it, but I know how traumatic that is. And given how she taunted me, I already know she told him I was feeling something... » She sighed and shut her eyes. « I also know we're not talking about it and I won't. »
« You care for Dean. Everyone knows. » He said with a tone that suggested he was teasing her when in truth he wanted to alleviate the situation and give her a reason to chuckle. It didn't work, Oya shook her head.
« I-I-I very much do. I care for him in ways I can't express Castiel. I can't say it, but I can show him. And I implore you to never let him be the one to kill me if it comes to this. He would never cope with it, never. » She held onto Castiel's hands tighter and opened her eyes to look at the angel.
« I will never let anything this bad happen to you. He wouldn't have to »
« Just promise me, Cas! Promise me... » She said, her voice breaking down again. Castiel eyes shifted for a second before he finally looked at her and nodded. He wouldn't let Dean go through this ordeal and he wouldn't let Oya get in this situation to begin with. He would try anything in his power to protect her. Just like he would protect the brothers.
« I promise. » He finally said in his very laconic tone, but she knew by the intensity of his gaze that he meant his words. She relaxed and wrapped her arms around Castiel for a hug. He shifted his gaze and gently patted her back. « I got you. »
And he did. He had her back now and she knew it.
-TBC-
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