A/N: That werewolf story
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71LjA-UrB24&list=PL2C2F39E2EAF9E31A&index=198
That's the soundtrack
xxx
~I thought my heart had bled all it could but I was wrong.~
"I forgive you."
The words escaped from her lips, quietly, softly even. If he had not had such a great hearing, the werewolf wouldn't have heard her utter the words. But he did. His blue eyes set upon the honey-haired woman who was sitting on the bed, a book in her hands. She ran her hand through her curly honey locks and bit her bottom lip. Her heart was beating fast, faster than she wanted it to. her eyes were filled with unshed tears and her throat tightened. He knew how much it took from her to even think of saying those words and he didn't quite know how to react to it at first. Seconds went by, maybe a solid minute of them just staring at each other.
She forgave him. After months of arguing with Noah, she decided that enough was enough. She had already cried her tears, two years ago when she thought the werewolf died during their revenge spree. She wept for the life they wouldn't be able to live, for the love they wouldn't be able to feel and for their common redemption, she was desperate to seek. She spent the whole year mourning for his death but eventually, she decided she would live for the two of them. She survived and like they promised each other, started a new crime-free life. A life where she would not take lives anymore, but one where she would protect those in need. She was working at a shelter for battered women and put her skills in helping these women build their lives back together. She faced off the violence spouses and significant others, and sometimes, for the worst cases, she used her assassin skills to go and threaten them enough to scare them away. It was a decent life, a good life even for someone whose ledger was always so red. She had it figured out, a new purpose in her life that would not require anymore bloodshed. A new life where she wouldn't be /just/ a living weapon for someone to use and abuse. A normal life. And he came back and shook her to the core.
He was alive. For two years she had wept for him, tried to live for the two of them only to learn that he wasn't even dead, to begin with. He came back and broke her heart when she learned that he had lived a full life, with the person who took care of him. He fell in love with her, went as far as being engaged to her. She fell apart when he told her his cursed was removed, and he could finally experience Love to its fullest. He did it with Mia and yet, he came back to Phoenix. He told her he chose her, he told her he was still in love with her and before he tangled his life with his saviour, he had to see for himself if he was ready to move on. Yes, he saw her as one would challenge themselves and it did hurt more than if he had clawed her chest open. He said he loved her, but when he uttered those words, it achieved to break the woman's heart. He said he wanted to live with her because she was his one true love and she told him to leave. So he did. It took weeks for her to digest everything. Noah came back in her life like a thunderstorm and the fragile foundation she built without him, once again, were threatening to break. Noah kept his word, he put order back in his life. He left Mia, settled in the same city as Phoenix and the two started to see each other again.
~Seeing you again opened a wound I thought had healed~
They argued. They argued ever since he returned. She was unable to express her feelings, unable to tell him that she was angry, happy, confused, hurt because of him. She wanted to tell him that these past two years had been a living nightmare for the one who had nothing but blood on her hands. She wanted to tell him that loving him was the best gift he ever gave her, but she was unable to keep going. Surviving him was the hardest she ever did. Surviving him had killed her inside. She died on the day she thought he did, realized she couldn't allow anyone near her heart that wasn't him because he knew her true self. Nobody in their right mind would accept to share their life with a former assassin, with someone who had the blood of children on her hands. nobody would understand the pain, the torture, the abuse she was a victim of but Noah. Both were the products of their makers. Both were damaged souls, complementary souls and she had just lost her half. Only to have him back and cured. He showed her his love for her with words, with action and she knew deep down that he meant them. She never doubted him, but she was angry and hurt. So he made her talk. They argued again, some days ago and it became violent. He stopped mid-transformation as she kept ranting and raging against him and the anger built up, the resentment, the pain, everything resurfaced to the point where Phoenix couldn't hide it anymore. she gave in and finally, after months of pretending that everything was fine, she dished out the truth.
"Nix.." -His exhausted voice echoed through the room, as ran his hand through his face.-
"I forgive you, Noah..." -She repeated again. her hands now nervously rubbing her thighs. He sensed she was nervous, his ears picked the faster pace of her heartbeats, his eyes noticed the goosebumps on her arms. She bit her bottom lip and then ran her hand into her honey locks again. "I have to."
"You don't. I understand if you can't forgive me."
"I want to." She quickly added. Noah stood up from the chair he was sitting on and made a couple steps forward. "I want to, Noah...I have to." She looked at his eyes, her hazel orbs seemingly glowing a little more intensely. "I have to if I want us to work. I have to move forward." She patted the mattress near her, inviting him to come closer. "Come, please."
"Nix...." She shook her head and put her forefinger on her plump lips.
"You have already said all there is to say. Allow me to say something in return. Please, sit." -She patted the side of the bed again. As he comfortably sat next to her, Phoenix decided to resume her sentence. "I was mad at you, Noah. When you came back, I had this fragile balance in my life, but I was doing Better. I had accepted your death, I was ready to live like we wanted. Free and without killing anymore. I was living for both of us, thinking you were dead. When you showed up, it all felt like I did it for nothing. I felt betrayed, lied to. I felt robbed."
His head fell and he couldn't look at her so he looked away. the werewolf made soft sounds, a mix of purr and wolf moans as he could feel her sadness pour into each and every one of her words. Her voice was broken, almost faint as she tried to express herself.
"I felt happy too because you weren't dead. All I ever wanted, after I thought of what happened that night, was that you survived. I would have done anything to keep you alive and here you are. My wish came true. You survived that night and I can see you, I can touch you... You are here.."
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she sunk her nails into her thighs. She always did when stress became overwhelming when words were failing her and she was starting to hyperventilate. Noah realized that she did, indeed, put a lot of thoughts into their situation. he was tense, waiting for a sign so he would comfort her and therefore ignored his own stress. He could feel the blood pumping through his veins a little harder, he was breathing harder but he could still keep it together. So he did.
"You said I was your one true love. You said that it was the reason you came back. Well, you are mine. I Love you, Noah, more than anything in this world. You understand me like no other can. You were able to love me when no other could. And I want that. I want to build that life... and I can't, if I keep being angry at you for what happened. Yes, you loved someone else. Someone who healed you. Someone who saved you. I should be grateful for her and I am. I really am." She paused and then opened her eyes. "Because she brought my love back. And I won't have to struggle alone anymore. I won't have to hold onto your memory to barely survive. I have a chance at living. I have a chance at that. I want to take it and in order to do so, I have to forgive you."
She then outstretched her hand towards him. Noah couldn't refrain himself. He just wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into a tight hug. She lost her fingers in his thick black mane and massaged it as both were crying silently. She let go of her baggage because she realized it would prevent them from being truly happy. Just like any birth, this new relationship was born through tears and pain, through anger and regret, through fear....and love.
~But this time instead of ignoring my bleeding heart, I decided to heal it properly, for our sake~
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