MOET: You disappointed me

//Just a little thing that wanted to get out of my chest: (it's prose)

Disappointed. You disappointed me.  

I haven't truly understood just how deeply your actions hurt me. Was it because I was hoping you were the person you pretended to be? Or was it because I finally opened up to you, to a potential future between the two of us.

You disappointed me. 

I had opened my heart to you, despite my fears, and my suspicions. I wanted to give you a chance, to make sure that you were true to your words and to me. But you weren't. You rejected me. You threw me away like you would a used tissue. I was never going to be able to meet your standards. I was never going to be part of your life. I guess I have failed from the very start. What were you looking for, then? 

You disappointed me. 

And I don't think you realize the power these words hold. I held you on a pedestal. Somehow wishing to get with you what I was lacking in life. I needed warmth, I needed compassion. I thought you would be the one to give it to me. You pretended to be. You never were. 

instead, I got your venom. I got your side-eyes. I got the look of disgust on your face, I guess, for something I could not control? Something that made me who I was as a person? How could you pretend to like me then? How could you pretend you cared for me when you don't even give me a second thought? 

you disappointed me. 

And I am upset at you for your lies. I am upset at myself for trusting you. Why couldn't I see the obvious? Why couldn't I see the lies on your lips? The heartbreak that would follow the revelation of the truth? Wasn't I careful enough, to prevent this from happening again? I guess I wasn't. 

I guess I trusted too much. 

I guess I wanted it to be true.

In the end, I realized I was a fool, but you can't fool me no more.

You became a lesson, you became a warning, you became a reminder to me now. 

Not everyone could be family. Not everyone should be family. 

I have seen you for who you really were, and your rejection became my salvation. The love I have, the warmth I have, would benefit other people, more deserving people, those who are my family, those who actually want me to be part of theirs. 

You disappointed me.

You taught me.

that my heartbreak is a sign that I am alive. It is a sign that I could still love. It is a sign that I can still have more to give, but also a sign that I can and should also get. 

Thank you for failing me.

Thank you for breaking my heart.

You only made me stronger.

you only made me love harder.