be kind to yourself

Ah! short "essay" this time, but as the conversation happened a little today, I felt fitting to at least say my piece. I have noticed that most of the time it's very difficult for someone to eventually love themselves. I don't know if it's in our DNA or if it's something that comes with the experiences and environment we grow up in. I can't say for sure and if you'd ask me, without thinking I would say it's both.

Society at large frowns upon people who are decently confident in themselves (so we are excluding the cocky types, the self-absorbed people as well.), and even more when they belong to "minority groups" (I hate this word, just like the whole concept of race but it's another topic). They do scold black and brown people who do feel themselves just alright, same with women, same with LGBTQ+ people.same with fat/extremely thin (we're not talking about clinically ill people here. but mostly natural chubby/very thin people because people have another opinion on them. a very harsh opinion and you have to intersect it with gender as well) You simply can't be content with the way you are, there has to be something you don't like or "hate" about yourself to make you feel as they put it "more down to Earth" or "normal like us." Because apparently, loathing oneself or lacking confidence is the mandatory human trait we should have?

BUT Society also does praise people who are very confident in themselves. -this is a weird love/hate relationship here. bordering with idolization and the pervert urge to tear your icons down.-They would put on a pedestal those who exhibit exaggerate traits of self-confidence and would turn them into icons who (through the lens of media, especially entertainment media) would quickly become a goal impossible to achieve. They would turn into this "person" you have to become but who can't exist. Flaws are most often praised, rewarded even in movies and tv shows, the hero has to be a certain way, look a certain way, be a heartthrob, successful, irresistible "perfect" macho./creepy man and the heroine also have to be a superwoman, whose flaws are endearing but only because she's already perfect.

Where does that leave us? You can't be too happy about being your imperfect self because you should strive for more, be the "best of the best version of yourself" but at the same time, if you come close to being like those modern heroes, you will be praised and lifted up and then torn down because icons are always stomped on. (with some exceptions but usually, some people would still manage to spit in the face of the modern heroes) THEREFORE, the only option left is to never be satisfied with who you are at any given time because it's never "enough". you are never "enough." and it ruins a good chunk of your life because you have lost the caring way you used to look at yourself.

And it's even worse when you suffer from some form of MI (mental illness).I am not an expert so, I can't speak for all of these, but definitely, if yours include depression/anxiety/suicidal tendencies then I can speak of that. The lens with which you see yourself is deformed and twisted and it only accentuates everything to the point of being unable to live with yourself.

There's where I say I think it should not be that way. We should be able to learn how to appreciate who we are, the whole package. With our quirks and goodness, with your bad habits and the good ones. We could improve course (there is always room for improvement) but we should learn how to love ourselves EACH step of the way. We should learn how to say "hey, you did great here. you know how to do that" and not feel guilty or cocky or self-absorbed. Hey, you have the right to love yourself. you have the right to have your good days too, you have the right to be content with where you are as well. Just... remember, you need to be kind to yourself.

Be kind to yourself.

You are worth every effort <3