One of these people

I'm one of these people, one of those who can't stand to stare at their own reflection in the mirror.

I'm one of these people, one of those who can't stand to look into themselves and face their emotions.

It hurts, it hurts so much that spending a day without thinking about oneself feels like a relief... 

It hurts so much and yet feels like it should be ignored so we could focus on our loved ones.

it's both a selfless act because we care and a selfish one because we don't care enough about ourselves.

We could be struck by lightning for all we care, it wouldn't matter because we don't.

I'm one of these people, one of those who won't dare have dreams and try to make them happen.

I'm one of these people, one of those who would not try to be happy because they know, no, fear to lose it all.

It had happened in the past,  being way too happy for their own sake and forced to witness it burn to the ground.

It had happened, the feeling of being shredded to pieces because everything is collapsing before you.

And the pain is too strong, and the pain is too deep and they refuse to believe they could be happy again 

So we're very apprehensive whenever it comes to Happiness and people we care about and who make us happy. They could be gone just like that.

And we would have deserved it.

I'm one of these people, one of those who convinced themselves o be toxic. it doesn't make any sense yet it does.

I'm one of these people, one of those who'd rather keep it to themselves than speak and ask for help, 

Because we think we're an inconvenience  We think we're annoying people around us, 

We think the world of people we care about but still think ill about ourselves. because we're undeserving 

We think we can't make things get better YET would move mountains for those we care about.

How strange that works, love I guess can help us do anything and everything for our loved ones 

...Where is that love for myself?

I'm one of these people, one of those who don't know how to ask for help. 

I'm one of these people, one of those who are witty, funny, cryptic and who talk with codes.

I would write, I would share music with meaning, I would hint at how I truly feel without actually saying it  

Just a single glance at how I truly feel is enough to cause a meltdown, I don't want to feel, but is it healthy? No! 

And the pain is so intense that we wish it would be gone but we know there is work to do.

Work for what? work to get better of course. That's the end goal, after all, to feel better and be happier. 

Because Love is worth all the pain. 

Love truly is. it saves people...

I'm one of these people, one of those who despite the darkness surrounding their hearts, Hope still crawls into the cracks and creaks and make their heart soar.