Do you trust me (Doya)

(Doya)  // all usual disclaimers//

"Do you trust me?"

He would ask when she would shut down. She spoke most of the time, always had something to say about anything. She wasn't extremely talkative but she certainly talked more than Dean ever did. He was used to the noise, to her trying to make him speak up his mind, to her trying to read into his behavior or other people. So when she became distant, he noticed. She would stop talking plain and simple.

"Do you trust me?"

He would ask when she was arguing with him. Her insecurities and fears would make her act up. She would worry about this cute hunter he knew, who sent him an e-mail or that sweet waitress who would flirt with him. Especially when Oya herself wasn't there. She would crystallize her fears on those strangers to avoid looking at the core of the problem: /her/. She didn't feel threatened by others, no, Oya  was worried about hurting him. She was worried about being the reason he didn't come home or got hurt. She was worried about bringing  him pain instead of relief, love, comfort... she was worried her love was Toxic. So she would argue with him and scream and make tempests in a glass Of water

"Do you trust me?"

He would ask when she was having a panic attack. He would watch her disassemble and put together her guns in that mechanical way she always did it.  He would watch her clench and unclench her fists and walk in circles. He would watch her lose her composure in front of him and hold fists of her hair. She tried to hide that from him months ago but couldnt anymore. When she was in distress like that, Dean did his best to let her know he was here. He was here for her and he would not leave her side. She would struggle, reject him even run away but  always,  Oya would let him in. She would let him comfort her. She would let him see her scars.

"I trust you."

She did trust him. His feelings, his intentions and that his heart was in the right place. She did trust him and if given the ability to put into words How she felt, she'd say that he was fixing her.... he was like glue to a broken glass, keeping her together so she didn't fall apart. If She could express how she truly felt for him, she did say that she did not understand why he stuck around her. She did not understand why  he stayed with someone as toxic as She was or why he didn't leave when he saw how scarred she was.  She was broken, in more ways than  she dare admit and her he still was here....

When he was.

And tonight he wasn't there and she was freaking out. Nervously, Oya let her fingers run over the blade he brought her from his last hunt. There was no reason to be worried. She trusted him and trusted he would return to her. He promised he would.

He promised he would.