// ALL usual disclaimers! After the beautiful solo written by Lou, I had to respond. I split it in two. I haven't touched these characters in years but...I would this one time. It's an attempt at getting back in the saddle, and breaking out of my funk <3 Amelia is Lou's main OC, (the other one was Abel) Asma is mine. (and the other one was Ahmed).
Lou, Thank you so much for thinking of me, for writing such a beautiful (and sexy!) scene with my Asma, and for trying to give me some confidence back in my stuff. Your Negan was spot on! I worked on this piece to both give tribute to you (your fucking pieces are so amazing ! Even 3 years without writing, you kick ass ! I'm not worthy <3) and an attempt at keeping my promise to still write, no matter what. <3 <3 Part 1 is all about your Amelia and the aftermath <3//
Alexandria, 10 am.
Amelia was lost in her thoughts. She watched as Rick started to lecture her. She didn't pay attention to who was in that room with them, Daryl, Rosita, and Michonne.. it didn't matter to the woman who was deep into her thoughts. They were screaming but it felt as if she was in her own echo chamber, only listening to her own voice, her own screams. Her chestnut eyes were staring at an agitated Rick's figure but some black strands of hair teased her nose. He pointed at her and was walking in circles. His figure was blurry for Amelia but his eyes were clear for her to see. They were angry, disappointed even but most importantly worried. He was worried about her, about what could have been. What the hell was she thinking? How could she go to the Sanctuary on her own? On a pathetic suicide mission to rescue Asma? How did she think it would go? It would have been a miracle if Negan hadn't killed her on the spot and even sent her back home. Her action could have put the whole refuge in jeopardy. Amelia knew, but she didn't give two shits about it. Her eyes were defiantly staring at her leader and she curled her fingers into fists.
Several weeks ago, the Saviors and Negan came to Alexandria, they ransacked the place, killed Spencer and Olivia, and threatened almost everybody. Negan spotted Asma and started to taunt her but she held her head high, defiant despite her body shaking by his mere presence. He taunted her even more and she ended up hitting him with her head, making him punch her guts and punish her by killing Abel. The tall and broad blonde guy was one of Asma's former crew members. They met at the beginning of the Apocalypse and traveled together with the rest of Asma's group (Amelia, Sun, Ahmed). She watched as he fell to the ground, a bullet hole in his head, and heard the sick laughter of Negan as he enjoyed himself. Flashes of that day came back to the woman who still couldn't hear what was said to her. Because she could barely stand, Daryl gave her a chair so she could sit. Her hands were on her knees, holding onto it as if she dared herself to feel anything. Her body was cold, it felt as if she couldn't leave herself and drown in her memories. But she couldn't. Rick's voice kept pulling her back into reality. He finally walked closer to her and put his hands on her shoulders. The Eurasian looked at him, this time fully back into reality with the other members of the room.
« Amelia...Amelia, I get it. Asma is your friend and you want to save her. » Her chestnut eyes became more intense but her jaw refused to move just yet, preventing her from snapping at him. « But what you did was stupid! You could have been killed. You could have had Asma killed too. » His words felt like a slap in her face. The woman's eyes grew wide as she shot him an angry glare. How dare he say she put her friend's life in danger with her action? While he was becoming Negan's bitch, she had the guts to try and stop him. She went there with an assault rifle ready to kill anything and anyone in her way...despite knowing she wouldn't have made it alive. It didn't matter, as long as she at least tried. Her voice came out like a growl. She shrugged her shoulder to make Rick remove his hand from her and spat in his face.
« Doing nothing is what will kill her. Doing nothing is what will kill her Rick !! I have already lost all of my people. They... I have lost all of them. I can't afford to lose Asma. » She looked away from Rick. Amelia's body became stiff and her lips trembled.
« I know you're emotional... » -He began with.- « But Alexandria is your new home, its people are your people too. You can't take an action without weighing the impact it would have on all of us. »
He said dryly. He was right, in a way, they accepted to embrace Alexandria as their home and their people as theirs when the group came. Amelia was aware of that but she couldn't think rationally when one of her own was in danger. Rick knew how she felt because he felt the same way when he arrived. It was his group against the Alexandrians. He remembered when he pulled a gun at them, calling them weak, saying he would take over and rule it and they should be thankful because at last they would be prepared for the worst of the worst. Amelia reminded him of who he used to be before Michonne knocked some sense into him and he started to accept that he shouldn't give into his urges and old ways.
« You don't know /shit/ about me Rick! Stop pretending! Michonne would have been in Asma's shoes you would have done everything to rescue her! You know you would! Or Carl for that matter! So don't come and try to calm me with your bullshit! Asma is my family! She is! »
She shot him another death glare. Rick understood what she went through, he wanted to tell that everyone in that room had lost a loved one. Everyone experienced what she went through and grieved in their very own way. It was true that he didn't know her well, Asma's group being one of the most recent additions to Alexandria but they were not so different from him. He wanted to say something, but he knew she needed to vent so he wouldn't cut her off until she said her piece, which she quickly did. Rick leaned against the table of the room, his blue eyes staring at Amelia.
« When the outbreak happened, she found me and saved me! She was scared as hell and clumsy, and yet she saved me. She saved our group. Ahmed..with whom I started to dream of a new life, he gave his life so we could get to Alexandria. She saved him. Sun.. who died when the wolves attacked. She saved him. Abel...who died killed by Negan.. she saved him. She kept us alive until we got there...I thought I thought I could return the favor and save her too. I needed to rescue her. I TRIED...I fucking tried! And guess what ?! She saved me AGAIN! »
She hit her lap with both hands, clenching her fists as hard as she could. Her guilt was easy to read on her face. Michonne's features softened slightly as she could relate to Amelia's desperate attempt at paying her debt back. She felt like she owed Asma and failed her.
« What happened there, Amelia? » Daryl asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he was worried about her.
Amelia, despite being guarded with her emotions spent time with him. He didn't talk much but he observed. She was the one who handled transportation in Asma's former group and very often fixed their car and Asma's bikes. Daryl helped her grieve when he allowed her to fix his bike. She didn't say a word at the beginning, save for asking permission to work on his bike. He would watch her check it, fix what needed to be fixed, and then hand him the keys when she was done. It lasted several weeks before one day she finally started to open up. He couldn't exactly consider himself a friend of hers, but they had some sort of relationship... She looked at him, her lips trembling, and unclenched her fingers.
« I tried to infiltrate the Sanctuary to set Asma free... but I wasn't prepared. I-I got caught and was brought to Negan. Considering everything, they should have killed me when they had the chance. » She paused. « Asma was brought along, I guess he wanted to break her mind, make her submit. I don't know. I was defiant, I was ready to die because at least, I would have done something to help her but she stepped in. »
« What do you mean she stepped in? » Michonne asked her. Amelia's body became even stiffer and she looked away once again. Michonne crouched in front of her so she would look at her face. « What do you mean... she stepped in? » She asked again, her voice softer than before. « Amelia...We need to know. »
« Is she... is she going to die? » Rick asked, his gruff voice snapped Amelia out of it and she shook her head.
« Worse....She agreed to become his wife. He... He got what he wanted because of me. She agreed to.. she agreed to... » She allowed a sob to escape from her lips, prompting Michonne to hug Amelia to comfort her. Her eyes stared at Daryl. He nodded and then looked at Rick who ran his hand through his beard. That sounded like something Asma would do. It was making him sick to his stomach, so much so that he left the room to calm his nerves. Daryl followed him while Rosita came to Amelia's side and put her hand on her shoulder.
« You did what you needed to. I would have done the same if I were in your shoes. Hell.. I tried to kill Negan and...Oliva got killed because of that. » She said wiping away the tear that rolled onto her cheek. « She's tough. She'll get through this I am sure. » Amelia looked up to Rosita and shook her head.
« He's going to break her... » She bit back a sob. « He's going to break her if he treats her good if he fucks up with her mind. As long as she can hate him, she can fight him but as soon as she understands softness is gonna mess her up, he will use it against her and it'll break her in pieces. He's good at manipulating others, he's very good at it. He's gonna break her...I couldn't save her. I couldn't! » She said sobbing again as she held Michonne tighter.
« We're going to take you home. You need to rest up. »
« You're going to fight him back, right? » Michonne nodded. « I want to be part of it. I want to have a clear shot and kill this motherfucker. » Rosita smirked and patted Amelia's shoulder.
« Get in line, then. Once you've recovered. » She said helping Michonne get Amelia back on her feet. « I know you feel guilty, I know the feeling. We all do. Asma's tough. He can try as much as he wants to, but he won't get to her. Hold onto that thought. »
Amelia nodded, unable to say anything because her throat was too tight. She wanted to believe Asma would be alright and she would find her once war would happen. They had to find each other again, they had to. And they would.
-TBC-
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