Doya: Her other half

//All usual disclaimers

She looked at Dean as he drove Baby to their next case. He was tense, she could tell by the way he clenched his jaw. She could tell by the way he held onto the wheel. She could tell by the way his jade eyes were hard and cold. In moments like these, Oya knew Dean wouldn't talk to her.  She knew he wouldn't want her to worry, let alone shift shit around in order to have him spill his guts.  The news wasn't good. Castiel went awol and Lucifer escaped from Hell, once again. Couldn't that son of a bitch remain locked up for good? Each and everytime his name was heard, It felt like an open wound. It felt like someone stabbed Dean in the heart all over again. Repressed memories surfaced again. Memories of his time In Hell. Memories of Lucifer using Sam's body as a vessel. Dean would rather forget about all of this but always like Herpes, Lucifer reminded him that he couldn't escape his past. It happened... it impacted him and would forever impact him. Oya couldn't Know... 

He glanced at her after a while and met her worried gaze. She didn't say anything since they got into the car but Oya didn't need to. Her hazel eyes did the talking. She was increasingly worried about him because she knew Dean. She knew something was eating him up and he refused to talk about it. She knew that no matter how hard she tried, he wouldn't confide in her unless he came to her first. And he never did. Not when he was like this. As frustrating as it was for the hunter, Oya rolled with it. There was nothing more she could do but be with him. He would have nightmares, she was certain of it. He would be pissed off and easily irritated. He would be upset at any single thing that didn't go his way but Oya was ready.  The ebony hunter put her hand on his knee and gently rubbed it as he drove them away. 

She leaned into the seat and started to hum a song. Singing was one of her coping mechanism and one she realized he enjoyed as well. It was her secret weapon to soothe him when he was having a nightmare. It was her secret weapon to soothe him when he was beyond pissed off and she couldn't talk to him. It helped in ways she didn't know just yet but used anyway. He listened to her voice, to the soft rhythm she was humming and relaxed slightly.  Her eyes glanced at him and then at the road as she kept singing. 

She understood him. She understood his need to protect himself and keep it close to his heart. It was both for self-preservation and the need to protect those around oneself. She understood because she did the very same. Her silences were met with his hands in her hair, his arms wrapped around her shoulders and him helming her put together and disassemble her guns. Her fears were met with his soothing voice telling her everything would be okay and she could trust him. Her tears were met with him holding onto her even tighter. He understood how broken she was and he made room for her to grow and heal. So she had to return the favor. 

She sang to him when he needed to. She talked to him when he was having nightmares and woke up in the middle of the night. She watched him, her hand stroking his cheek and chest until he fell asleep again. She let him get angry, scream and kick things away until he calmed down and then entered the room to take him in her arms. He sometimes wondered why she took a liking to him and had not run away by now. 

He thought she was crazy to stick around despite the clear evidence that he was a danger to both of them and that maybe she would get tired of him pushing her away when he needed her.  He thought she didn't realize that she was in for a bumpy ride and was expecting her to leave at any moment because of how repressed he actually was. 

He made some progress just as she did. They moved forward, got a little better with each other but he knew he would hurt her, just like she would hurt him. It was how they were made. It was who they were. Oya smiled at him and sang again, this time looking at him with those eyes filled with love. A while ago she would have denied her feelings for him. It couldn't be. She couldn't feel. It made her feel vulnerable as it should but also powerful. She knew she could carry mountains on her back for that man. She knew she could do anything to save his life and make him happy. Her eyes closed for a minute and she whispered.

" nanikakupenda.... this means I love you in Swahili... this means I entangle my life with yours for all eternity. It's the most beautiful thing one can say in that language you know? True love... devotion... commitment" she closed her eyes and gently rubbed his knee. " it'll get better.... we'll get better. I'm here." 

" I thought we were great already?" He said, half-smirking at her but she knew his heart wasn't there. 

" we are.... but we're not feeling well right now. We will." She bent forward and planted a kiss on his cheek. " because we have each other and I have your back."

"Yeah?" She smiled and patted his knee. 

"Yeah.." 

And she looked at the road again, singing the same tune as he kept on driving. His heart was slightly lighter and he gently put his hand on her knee, to let her know he was also with her and he heard her. They would be okay.