His touch

They had already seen each other before, even spent a few hours in each other's company previously to this day. It wasn't as if they'd never met or never touched but something did change from the moment they first met to the moment they met again. Two years went by, where he saw her hanging out with friends of his and watched as she slowly but surely entered his world. He didn't pick up at first, didn't think a lot of it because she simply made it easy. Her presence was easy to accept and understand. Her presence was normal, needed even. She had to be there so they all knew the day went well. She had to say something, to write to them, to be vocal and passionate about a fight for them to know it's okay, she was okay and their day would be okay too. He had noticed that.

They had already seen each other before, even spent a few hours in each other's company previously to this day. They talked about it, about meeting each other and having coffee. They talked about making it seem like it was easy and not a big deal at all. It wasn't a big deal, at least not officially but truth to be told, it actually was a pretty big step for both of them. Circumstances had changed. Interests were picked. The attraction was real between the two of them and she couldn't deny it. How could she when it was so obvious, As soon as he entered the coffee shop, her heart skipped several beats. She couldn't tear her gaze off of him and found herself studying his face as if she was trying to memorize every inch of his body. 

Their gaze met several times as he couldn't help but stare at her and every single time, she felt it. The shivers went down her spine, goosebumps covered her skin and she noticed a little detail here and there about him that she ended up liking. A crease in his forehead? that was cute. The way he smiled at her? that was very cute and she wanted more. She could spend hours just to listen to him talk about his passion and explain to her how important it was to him, she listened as he explained what was bothering him in his life and how deeply it affected him. Friends joined later, making it impossible for her to get closer to him for they weren't aware of what was going on. They sat next to each other as he included the others in the conversation and she remained silent, almost wishing she was invisible so others wouldn't see her, but they did.

Her eyes stared at him throughout the whole night, at his behavior, at his facial expression and it became crystal clear that she was feeling something for him. She wanted to tell him how she felt, that it became certain in her mind that she wanted to be with him but never had the opportunity to have a serious conversation. She craved for his touch, for the feel of his skin against hers. She stared at his knee, as it was the only thing she knew she could touch in public without getting too much attention. She looked at his face, she desperately wanted to grab and caress. She looked at his hair she wanted to feel on her fingers. She wanted to feel his arms around her body for a hug he would pull her into. She needed to feel him and that night felt like agony because she couldn't touch him.Well, she could.

She managed after a long while to finally put her hand on him. It didn't shock anyone for they knew how she behaved and how close she could get with people. Touching was not an issue for her but touching him, for the five minutes it lasted, felt like she got struck by lightning. It was obvious, it felt like she was right where she belonged to. Her hand on his knee, a reassuring touch to help soothe him. A reassuring touch for her to feel close to him. It was a simple touch and yet it was enough for her to just "know". She regretted when she couldn't touch him again and had to remove that hand in order to avoid suspicion.  She regretted that it couldn't be more casual and that the situation wasn't easier for both of them.

For a brief moment, it felt as if the world had stopped moving and it both helped her feel fulfilled and it broke her heart at the same time. It broke her heart because she knew it couldn't work. There was no way on Earth that these two could be together but for a brief moment that night, she felt as if they could. That night remained engraved in her mind, despite them not being able to take further. She still remembered how she felt when she looked at him, how it felt when he wrapped his arms around her frame, and how it felt when he talked to her. He didn't know what he gave her that night, but she found herself again and a new strength  And it might hurt, but she was grateful.