pb: girls lunch talk

Vintage Touch (PB): girls' lunch talk

// Had to have these two talk together. :) 

"Mary, have a seat." 

Polly's assertive voice compelled Mary to obey and sit in front of the woman. She was wearing a lovely yellow cotton summer dress that barely hid her generous curves. Her hair was let down, teasing her shoulder blades, and parted on the side.  Her work at the orphanage became extremely difficult for they welcomed a black newborn boy. Holding onto the child had caused Mary a PTSD episode, which sent her on a drinking spiral and forced her to remain home until she had fully recovered. Tommy wasn't home, too busy working on his political career but he had been made aware by Polly of the situation and she took it upon her to help Mary feel better. Ada confided in Polly about her concerns for Mary. She had to return to her son, which meant they would not see each other for a while, but Polly knew that anything Ada said, was important. 

It took a while for Ada to actually meet and bond with Mary. At the time, she had other concerns in her mind and didn't really pay attention to the new singer of the Pub. Yet, one night, after she suffered a cold that needed someone to tend to her sickness, Mary had been there and the two women started to talk. Mary laughed with her, sang to her and she did an outstanding job as a nurse, so much so that Ada recovered faster than expected. She was very straightforward and sarcastic with Mary, which could take sarcasm and banters really well. She also noticed her attraction to Tommy and after she'd warned the young woman about her older brother's cold and rough exterior and how he could make her suffer, the resilience and kindness of Mary mellowed Ada who instead, decided to speak to her brother and ask him not to break Mary's heart. 

"Polls... I'm fine. I can stay on my two feet." -Mary replied, shrugging off the older woman's offer to sit down-

"I didn't suggest. I commanded you to take a seat." -Polly said, pulling the chair towards Mary so she could sit down on it before she walked around the table and sat on her chair. She pulled a cigarette out of her cigarette box and lit it in one swift motion- "You can be stubborn."

"Not as stubborn as you, Miss Gray. You /are/ the definition of stubborn." -She replied with a soft smile-

"You look like crap!" -Polly replied, exhaling smoke before she leaned into her seat.- "I asked you to come here because I had to see you. It's too easy to lock yourself up in your country castle and.." -She seized her up, looking up and down at Mary.- "Letting yourself go."

"I let myself go? Ah! Polls! Listen to you speak! /I/ let myself go?" -She was piqued and her cheeks turned red, much to Polly's delight. She blew another smoke on the side before she put her free hand on the table of her desk.-

"Yes, you do. I am not just concerned about your looks. I am concerned about your mind. How are you doing?"

Mary pinched her lips together and crossed her arms above her chest. Polly was looking at her like a mother hen at her chick. She cared for Mary and wanted to take her out of this funk by having a nice conversation with her. Mary was probably the only person who could get away with calling Polly Polls. She was the only one who would be able to hug Polly and get away with it. It was something about her that caught the older woman's interest from the moment they first met. She noticed the kindness in her eyes, noticed the pain that she hid behind. Despite the horrors she'd witnessed and experienced, the young woman had always been a very optimistic and kind person. She never judged the Peaky blinders, never betrayed them, never tried to interfere in the business or change them. John thought she could be useful, especially if she kept the business clean by singing and attracting patrons to the pub. John also realized that she had quite a few good ideas and while he didn't want to bring her into the business, so she wouldn't be too much involved in it, he still got some good pieces of advice from her.

John wasn't the type to trust easily, none of the Shelbys trusted people easily. Arthur fell for Linda, much to everyone's dismay. Linda was fake, a religious fraud who believed she was better than them and tried to escape the family with Arthur and their children. Mary wasn't Grace, a woman who had betrayed Tommy, regardless of the "feelings" she had developed for him, Polly never forgave her for betraying the family and told her so. Lizzie... well, Lizzie was a family friend. She knew the brothers very closely, even fucked with both John and Tommy. Lizzie was someone Polly cared for and treated well. somehow, she was an unofficial Shelby. Everyone knew that Lizzie was longing after Tommy and the two of them often had sex together. Polly knew that Lizzie was head over heels with Tommy but he wasn't. No. Tommy was seeking comfort, and through sex, he was calming the demons in his head. Lizzie, well, he cared for her, but that was all there was to say about it. With Mary, things were different. 

"How am I doing? Well, Polls... I'm here. obviously, I'm doing much better, eh?" -She replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes before she clenched her jaw.- "I will need some time, but I'm doing much better.- "She said, wiping some tears off of her eyes.- "I just... Where is Tommy?"

Polly sighed and blew another smoke away. She didn't want to tell sweet Mary about Tommy's whereabouts. He asked her to specifically keep Mary out of the loop, even more so than Lizzie, because he needed her to be protected from his lethal hand. He wanted to use any means necessary to keep her from the curse that is with him -just knowing him, so imagine if they were together- brought. Grace's death served him right and he chose to be even more careful. Polly felt her heart sink a little bit because she could tell with just this question, that Mary was needing her nephew. She needed his presence, his reassurance, his tranquility to appease her soul and that was the evidence that she wasn't as good as she claimed she was. 

"I can't tell you where he is. He's away, on a business trip."

"You're going to keep it from me? Me? I need to know where he is, Polls. I need to."

"What you need right now, is to take a big breath. I know you probably are drinking yourself into a drunken stupor so I am not going to give you something to drink. However, I do have water and I will have food coming over. So, stay with me for lunch."

".....A business trip, eh?..." -Mary lowered her head, her long curly hair fell onto her chest and she closed her eyes.- "Fine. I will have lunch with you." -Polly smiled at her and put some of the ashes on the ashtray on her left.-

"Good. Listen, I know what's going through your head. I've been there. I've lived it and I still have fucking nightmares about the kids I lost and those that were taken from me." -She bluntly said, making Mary's jaw clench and her eyes flash open and stare at her-

Mary's fragility and their shared past had been one of the reasons that made Polly bond with Mary. Both suffered from the loss of their children and terrible encounters with men. Both were now free to lead the lives they wanted, and while Mary was still figuring herself out -she was so young, just 30 years old-, Polly had the time to make her choices and embrace this new life. Polly wanted to help her navigate the pain a mother of a dead child felt, and she wanted to help her be happy. This poor broken bird just wanted to be happy and her genuine affection for the family and for her other half, Tommy, convinced Polly that she was a good woman. 

Mary's resilience and strength shone through over the years and convinced Polly that the woman was truly in love with Tommy and wanted his happiness. She bonded with Charles, literally adopted him as her own and she managed to make Tom's house warm and loving for him to return to. Subtle ways, subtle presence but little by little she became important for every Shelby, to a different degree. Polly saw her like the daughter she lost, a fierce woman who didn't admit defeat to Life and kept going. She saw her as someone who needed guidance and showed her the way. She wasn't Romani, nor did she know the culture, but that was fine with Polly. She didn't need to be. She didn't have to be. 

"How dare you?'" -Mary's eyes shot daggers at Polly, but she was shushed before she could continue by the older woman-

"Stop pretending! Mary! Own your pain! You can own it in front of me. I have been there! for fuck sake! I have been there, so I know!" -She said hitting the table.- "And it's not fair! And you're afraid to continue. And you struggle! I know you do. I'm sorry you do." -She said, offering a soft smile before she furrowed her brows- "You cannot struggle alone, you have no right to do it on your own when we are here. DO you think Tommy would like to see you like this?"

"Do you think Tommy would care, Polls? I know he doesn't. He sleeps with all the cunts of the United Kingdom. He drinks, he smokes, and he fucks regardless of who it is. He loved his first wife and I am not Grace, I will never be Grace and he would never love me back. He never cheated on Grace, I was there, remember? He only had eyes on her, and he was smiling more often. He was happier back then. Who am I, if not a nobody? Why would he care?"

"Mary! Nonsense! I know the matters of the heart and I know my Tommy. I can assure you that he cares a great deal about you. /you/ are important to him, more than you can know. He would hate to see you in that state because he wouldn't know what to do to help you feel better."

"NO.. no... if he did, he would have stayed with me. Instead, he left, Polls. He left." -She shrugged and rubbed her arms with her hands. Her throat was tight and she felt tears trying to roll down. So she fought against them and shook her head- 

"Mary. Mary, look at me." -Mary shook her head and cradled herself. Polly sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.-

Mary was stubborn, but she always was when she was upset, and clearly, not having Tommy around in a moment of vulnerability was getting her cranky. Polly yanked her head back and blew her smoke up to the ceiling. She suspected that Tommy was having feelings for Mary, feelings that could either be a deep concern for the woman, perhaps a really deep friendship, or perhaps actual love. He hadn't shared his thoughts and he avoided being alone with Mary, so Polly wasn't certain. What she knew, however, was that he cared for the woman, and when Tommy cared and respected someone, he fucking meant it. Mary still denied being in love with him, but it was the worst kept secret in the whole damn country. She wore her love on her face and it was so obvious that even Arthur noticed it. Arthur wasn't stupid or dense, but he wasn't that great with the matter of Love, so imagine! 

"Mary..fuck, look at me!"

"Polls! I can hear you just fine!" -The singer lifted her head and leaned into her seat.-

She couldn't deny the woman her attention. She considered her like the mother she never had. Polly did take her in after a little rough time between the two of them. She knew the Shelby woman was testing her loyalty and her strength of character and went along with her tests. It probably was when Polly let her hug her, that Mary realized she was actually welcomed, and when John invited Mary over during one of their celebrations, that was enough for the young woman to realize she was accepted. She knew Grace and befriended the woman before her death. it wasn't a deep relationship -to be honest, she was on the periphery of this couple, spending more time with the brothers and Polly than with Grace and Tommy- but she saw the woman when she was alive and she couldn't help herself but feel that she would be compared to her, no matter what she did or what she said. Somehow, was it true? Could Tommy see her as just her and not someone who would raise his son or bring him the comfort he lost when his wife died? 

"Look at me! I know my boy Tommy and he isn't the type of person who does things he doesn't agree with. he's thought long enough before he let you in his home. He let you in because he chose to have you there. he wanted to have you there. He still kept you there even after the threat on you was dealt with. He / wants/ you there! You are not Grace and you will never be! However, you are Mary and you are more than enough, girl. You are more than enough!"

Mary shook her head and wiped the tears that kept rolling onto her cheeks. As a matter of fact, she wanted to believe Polly but couldn't bring herself to do so because she thought that God had forsaken her. Tommy kept his distance and she couldn't see or feel his supposed affection. He claimed he cared, yet he was gone and now she was fragile and upset and wished he was around to comfort her in his arms but he wasn't there. Polly was, however, and she shook her head upon seeing Mary crying and stood up so she could wrap her arms around the girl and pull her into a nice and tight hug.  Mary wrapped her arms around Polly's and finally sobbed. She cried for her son. She cried for her love for Tommy she felt would never become anything. She cried for the love and comfort Polly was giving her. 

"I don't know... I don't know...oh, Polly... it hurts so much. I just want my son back! I just want Tommy here. I just... I just.."

"Shhh... shhh. let go. I'm here. I'm here. You'll feel better after, eh?..."

"I'm so sorry.." -She sobbed, hugging Polly in her arms-

They would resume talking when Mary would feel better. They would talk and she would calm down. they would talk and she would feel much better and they would speak about something else, about Ada, and Michael who was doing great in America, about Arthur, and perhaps about something else. They would talk about going shopping and helping Mary feel pretty and more like herself again. They would talk about Tommy and his stubborn mind and they would probably talk a little bit more about Polly and her suitors, Mary and her suitors and they would laugh and they would love and they would bond. 

-TBC-