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"Tommy?"
Polly's voice was a distant echo for Tommy wasn't listening. His icy blue eyes were scanning the room, noticing how crowded the place had suddenly become since he arrived. He watched people and their behavior and took mental notes he would use later for himself. Mary had organized a charity ball for the biggest donors of the Grace Shelby Institute. She needed to show them the results of their donations, help improve the institute's reputation and help more children as a result. She knew what she was doing, obviously, because the room was packed with influential people, donors, and would-be donors. Most of them were from the upper class and they decided to do some charity to buy themselves a place in Heaven. None of them cared for the orphans. None of them cared for the children, because if they cared for them, they would have made better investments. there wouldn't be a need for an institute.
"Tommy!"
Polly's voice didn't reach Thomas Shelby who was worried. He didn't like the idea of having so many people crowding a place he liked and having Mary in the spotlight. There lay his biggest worry. She chose to make a show that night, make sure she would sing, and win over the hearts of the upper society who would feel more inclined to spend their money. It also was the first time she would introduce herself to that society, made exclusively of white Christians who would not take it very well to have a black woman at the head of such a prestigious institution. Of course, they noticed the MP Thomas Shelby, and his presence alone was enough to reign in the most vitriolic behavior. It couldn't stop them, however, from letting go of snide comments or insults and Tommy was nervous about it.
"Tom!" -Polly raised her voice, snapping the Shelby out of his thoughts- "Finally! you're back with me. Ada is talking to the donors you were the most suspicious of, Arthur isn't drinking... too much. He's sober for now. I asked Finn and Isaiah to keep an eye out for trouble. Johnny is also on the lookout, we should be alright tonight."
"Good. Good. It's a very high-profile event. I don't know why I agreed to let Mary do this." -he wanted to smoke, his fingers were itching and his throat was dry.-
"She's not alone tonight, Tommy. We're here. Her family's here." -That sentence had the Shelby elder look at Polly with an inquisitive gaze. Why would she say that they were Mary's family? Now, of all the days she could have chosen?-
"As long as she sees us, I think she'll be fine." -Polly squinted her eyes, studying the features of her nephew.-
For the untrained eye, Tommy would seem cold and distant, but the truth was, he was beyond stressed about the night. Sure, he did find some comfort knowing that the family was surrounding and protecting Mary, but something didn't sit well with him. He was worried about the reactions others would have upon seeing the woman. Great Britain wasn't exactly a holy land that welcomed all, regardless of religion, race, or even wealth. It was a fucking cesspool of selfish people who wouldn't hesitate one bit and would hurt Mary the first chance they get. Hurt Mary...His Mary! He couldn't accept it. It had only been a very short while since he acted on his feelings and gave in to her, on her birthday night. They grew closer, had sex... made love and she slept in his bed. His bed... It wasn't just making love, it was a connection he still refused to acknowledge today because if he did, it would be too late. If he did embrace his feelings for Mary, he wouldn't be able to backpedal, minimize those emotions or bury them. He would feel them all, and he would feel them hard.
Still, they made love. Still, it felt right. Still, it went beyond anything he'd ever felt with anyone. Since Grace. That night changed everything and the lies he kept telling himself to stay away from her didn't work any longer. On one hand, he treated her like family. Treated her to the nicest places, put her in his Last Will, and kept her in his house and around his son. He was jealous beyond rationality. Tommy couldn't bear the idea of another man touching her, fucking her, loving her. He couldn't bear the idea of Mary leaving his home, because it also was hers now. She lived there. She was his! But on the other hand, Tommy wanted to protect her at all costs from his lethal hand. He wasn't very lucky with love and family, most of the people he loved ended up either dead or with their lives ruined. Mary had suffered enough, as he saw it; He couldn't cause her more grief because of his never-ending ambition, the danger he would most certainly put her in, the heartache, the PTSD... He couldn't take the risk to see the disappointment in her eyes because he would screw up something or would make a decision that would hurt her.
"You sometimes have me wonder Tommy." -He lifted a brow, inviting Aunt Polly to speak more of her mind. She always had a way with words and she always seemed to know the things he kept to himself.- "I sometimes wonder if you're more afraid to witness Mary be hurt or if you're afraid someone might actually sweep her off of her feet." -He took a deep breath and took a glass of whisky a waiter was carrying on a silver platter.- "Uh...If I didn't know you so well, I would say that you are afraid someone comes to take her away. You might be, but you're more concerned about her safety, aren't you?"
Polly was spot on. These kinds of events were the perfect opportunity for people to meet and he knew that among those fine gentlemen -swine- there might have been someone who was an honest man and who could actually seduce his Mary. Tommy refused to let it happen, he couldn't even consider it. However, she was right, more than losing Mary to another man, he didn't want to lose her. She would become very exposed in a couple of minutes and she would have all eyes on her, meaning that she couldn't actually remain anonymous. He didn't want her to become a target because of her association with the Peaky Blinders, but who was he fooling? The world already knew she was affiliated with the Peaky Blinders back when she was still a waitress singing at the Garrison Pub.
"She's gonna be alright. Arthur's here. We are all here. I have my eyes on her." -Tommy chose to ignore Polly's teasing words and focus on the most important, Mary.-
He had not seen her ever since he entered the reception room. Most of the presentation was done by the current head of the institute, so Mary had not appeared yet. Tommy couldn't wait any longer, frustration was taking over, so he chose to take a cigarette out, rub it over his lips, lit it, and inhale a puff. Polly squinted her eyes and curled her lips into a pout. She understood given the level of stress and worry, that something had changed between the two and supposed that they probably finally made love again. The only moment she ever saw Tommy this stressed was during his wedding with Grace. He was on a loop of his own, with ideas polluting his mind and begging for release.
"Tommy?" -He ignored her for a while, prompting the older woman to repeat his name several times.- "Tommy?!" -He didn't answer, his eyes still looking around for the young woman. Where was Mary? Was she talking to someone? And if yes, who? - "Tommy!!"
"What?! Polly?" -He groaned and rolled his eyes, blowing his smoke in front of her.- "I don't see Arthur, he's supposed to be inside and I don't see him! Is he drinking again?"
"He is sober. He wanted to be to make sure he wouldn't miss anything. He is as concerned as you are about Mary's safety. Calm down!"
"Why did you ask for me then, Polly?" -He asked, his jaw clenched and he nervously put the ash on some nearby flower pot.-
"Something is different about you. Did you two fuck again?" -He would have blushed. He would have if he was a different man. He would have coughed, probably adjusted his collar and he would have probably lie-
"That is none of your c--" -He was interrupted by the voice of the current headmistress of the Institute. She introduced Mary, explaining what was about to happen. The donors were in for a treat. Mary had 3 songs to sing and would be supported by a choir of orphans.-
Arthur found Ada who was standing on her own with a glass of champagne. Her blue eyes set upon her older brother who was nervously walking in circles. Arthur was sober, and that was not a state of mind he actually liked because his thoughts were way too clear, way too painful. He remembered Grace's Death and the guilt he felt for not having been able to save his sister and the pressure put on his shoulders to ensure the protection of his new sister. He wanted a drink, Ada could tell, so she offered her glass of champagne, knowing her brother wouldn't get drunk on champagne.
"I'm nervous."
"She's going to sing, and in this room, there are some of the most important people in the country. They are well-protected. Mary would be fine." -She handed him her glass- "Drink, Arthur. Loosen up a bit."
"Thanks." -He was hesitating a little bit, but he ended up taking the drink of his sister- "Do you think they would riot?"
"Is it what you're afraid of? Of people being bloody racists? You know what, if they are, then we will treat them like they deserve to be treated. We will show them that nobody disrespects our Mary."
"You like her! I knew it! you like her." -Arthur grinned and emptied the glass of champagne- "Tommy also likes her." -Ada nodded and crossed her arms above her chest.-
"Tommy is an idiot. I don't know how he does it. She's been there this whole time, caring, loving, absolutely in love with this idiot and my brother isn't even able to notice it. I have never seen him so happy. I'm frustrated with him, Arthur."
"I am frustrated too. I don't think he believes Mary could go. She won't wait for him forever." -Ada looked at her older brother, up and down before a grin crept on her lips and she nodded-
"I'll drink to that." -But as the round of applause became louder and the delicate voice of Mary finally echoed through the whole room, both Arthur and Ada looked at the stage where the Headmistress was still on and watched as Mary appeared.-
Tommy's eyes grew wide as he looked at her. She was wearing a beautiful white and gold flapper dress that enhanced the curves she usually hid with larger clothes -as the current trend demanded-. The dress was sleeveless and she was wearing white gloves. On her perfect curls was a silver roman crown and she had pearl earrings to complete her look. Mary was stunning and Tommy felt his heart race in his ribcage. Polly looked at him, wondering if she was right about her assumptions. Tommy and Mary had sex, and she knew it because of the way he kept trying to look for the woman. She could tell he was concerned about the way others perceived her, and perhaps that also was part of his concerns. Would Tommy be able to keep his cool if someone disrespected Mary? Would he be able to refrain from violence or petty revenge if someone was trying to hit on her? Would he be able to contain himself?
Mary was nervous, Polly could tell. She was smiling as she introduced the first song she was going to sing. It was a very energetic song, which put her front and center and forced the audience to pay attention to her. Tommy had to struggle to tear his gaze away from her. He noticed the way people looked at her. There was a deafening silence upon her first appearance as people didn't know how to react to her. She was, indeed, a black woman. -despite how light her skin was, her features, curves and the tone of her skin betrayed her African ancestry-. She was a black woman who had responsibilities -Head nun? - and one who had organized the event of the night. They were skeptical, some even laughed at her sigh and whispered between themselves -or brazenly spoke, within earshot of Tommy- about how unnatural it was for them to have Virgin Mary sing to them. Some others called them vulgar for the curves she had the nerves to have. Tommy snapped at them, already losing his cool upon those assholes, and shut them down with a few good quips.
Mary looked around at the audience, noticing that they weren't sold on her performance just yet. She didn't lose her motivation, instead choosing to continue to perform. Music was universal, and she knew that if she persevered, they might be invested in the show. They looked, it was a start. So she danced, turned on her heels, moved her shoulders, and started to seduce the audience. In truth, Mary was looking for Tommy in the audience. She wanted to see him and dedicate the show to him but he was nowhere to be seen, which made her nip at her bottom lip. The Shelby elder was mesmerized by Mary. The confidence she had when she was dancing was infectious and Tommy heard some nice compliments coming from the people around him. This soothed his heart, knowing that people were appreciative of Mary and he wouldn't need to fight them all night long. -Or would he?-. She kept singing and dancing, and the children who were doing the choir were also enjoying themselves, warming the atmosphere. Polly smiled and looked at Ada who was enjoying the show and Arthur who was clapping his hand, literally living the song.
Tommy relaxed upon seeing the change of behavior. He walked closer to the stage, where people were a lot more invested in the show as Mary chose to settle for something with a different mood. It was a very sensual song, it only was conveyed through the lyrics and her voice. She sat on a stool, legs crossed, her intense green eyes staring at the audience. She still hadn't found Thomas but she kept looking for him. The song outraged some devout women who clutched at their pearls and elbowed their husbands to stop looking at this temptress with those eyes filled with envy. Envy...Lust. Tommy could see those men staring at his girl, admiring her gorgeous curves, enjoying her uncanny beauty and the magnetic charisma. She was gorgeous, she was sexy and despite their first apprehension, some actually drank in the sight before them. It irritated Tommy to no ends, to see other people visibly imagining doing things to the young woman. Some even joked about taking her out after her performance, while others wanted to do far more.
Part of him actually enjoyed the fact she was desired. He was a proud man and he enjoyed being looked at with envy. He enjoyed when others appreciated the beautiful women he was with, the nice cars, nice clothes, and everything that could make other people want to either be him, or be with him. However, he disliked the way they were drooling over her. He hated the thought of one of them trying to steal his girl from him. He hated the fact that someone could just come in and sweep her off of her feet. Things were complicated for the Shelby. He wanted her near, he wanted her with him and yet, yet... he couldn't even begin to admit that he wanted it. He was worried that his curse would also get to her, so what could he do? eh? What could he do? Finally the song ended and Mary received a second round of applause.
"The last song is very special for me. It is a love song. If you ever love someone, I want you to sing this song to them, let your hearts speak." -She said, taking her breath back before she put her hands on her chest. Her heart was racing in her ribcage, hitting hard, way too hard for her to handle but she decided to take a deep breath.- "The name of the song is, 'don't be Afraid' "- She looked in the audience and finally found Tommy who was standing a couple feet from her, both hands in his pockets.
"Go and wreck their hearts, Mary!" -Ada whispered and bit, watching the young woman take her breath back and gently help the children leave the stage. Polly joined them and gently wrapped her arm around Ada's waist -
Mary was alone, at the center of the attention but with her eyes set upon Tommy. For a moment, there was nothing but them. He was attentive, knowing full well that she was singing for him. The music started and she slowly started to sway, smiling gently at Tommy. Her beautiful and clear voice started to fill the room and she sang. She sang her heart out, hitting high notes, claiming her love for Tommy and while she didn't say much, the Peaky Blinder heard her clearly and his heart, oh his heart started to beat hard, soaking her emotions up, hearing the words she had not said to him. He knew that she wasn't ready to say them, just like he wasn't ready to hear them, but both knew they had feelings for one another. both knew that they cared for the other. Both knew... they just knew. He just couldn't give into those feelings. How could he take the risk to hurt Mary? How could he force a lifetime of suffering and pain, and even worst, Death? Losing Grace had done a number on him, it opened a wound that had not stopped bleeding and he left the Shelby's heart in shambles.
Mary ended her song, to a thunderous applause, yet she noticed the tear that had escaped from her right eye. A tear she cried when she sang about giving a second chance to love. The woman felt vulnerable but she was unable to rest because a sea of people requested her attention. She thanked them and slowly exited the stage to rest a little in a room adjacent to the main room. Tommy was snapped out of his reverie by Arthur who had joined him and patted his brother's shoulder. He was proud, the checks were coming, the donors chose to give more money to the institute thanks to the performances. They asked for Mary, some of the women wanted to know about the clothes and the hairstyle she had that night, others wanted to see her perform again, while some of the men made a variety of comments, from the excited one upon the enchanting show that was given that night, to the crudest comments that had Tommy roll his eyes for a second before he clenched his jaw a little harder.
"There are too many people, Arthur. Too many with bad intentions. Too many who could hurt her. I could hurt her."
" She knows who you are, brother. She knows who you are, and yet she's still here." -He patted Tommy's shoulder- "She's still here. Go find her, I think she'd like to see you in a quieter place."
He nodded and Tommy responded in kind, before he grabbed a cigarette he lit and started to walk towards the restroom where Mary was using. His heart was beating way faster now, faster than he wanted. yet, he couldn't stop himself from walking towards her. Could he ever?
-TBC-
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