// Lizzie absolutely hates Mary. On top of it all, there are a couple issues that could arise from having Mary get closer to Tommy.
XXXX
Lizzie pinched the bridge of her nose and fetched herself a glass of whisky. She was seething with rage and despair, especially when she was on her own. She brought the glass to her lips and quickly drank her whisky, coughing a little in the process because she went too fast. How did it happen? How did this nobody become close to the Shelby family and the Peaky Blinders? How? when? She had not seen it happen, perhaps because she counted on Tommy's volatile desires and impulsive need for company and sex. Perhaps, she hoped that with Grace's death, he could finally look around him and notice her. The brave Lizzie, the Loyal Lizzie... The only woman who truly knew him, with his flaws and his qualities. She knew the man and he was able to find in her, the comfort he needed. It should have been him.
Lizzie fetched herself another glass of whisky, cursing Mary under her breath for the changes she'd noticed. The woman was beautiful, far more beautiful than Lizzie would ever be. she was kind. she was sweet and on top of it all, she was funny. She had something tragic about her, a broken bird like all of them had been, and yet, her nurturing nature triumphed over the shitty life she was leading. How could Lizzie beat her? How could she make it obvious that Mary wasn't meant for Tommy? She was too good for the gangster, too much of a "good wife material" for her to actually become more involved in the family's true business. She would never want the gangster-like Lizzie did. Oh, if only she could slap the beauty off of Mary's face! If only she could make her leave.
So Lizzie came up with a plan. She would tell the truth to Mary: Tommy didn't care about Mary. She made sure that he didn't know Mary's birthday so he wouldn't remember when that was and she would take it personally and leave. She would have a conversation with Mary and let her know she meant nothing to the Elder of the Shelby family. It nearly worked and Mary would have left..should have left! But she didn't. Lizzie lit up a cigarette and started to smoke. Her hands shook, both, as she was trying to relish in the moments' Mary's face, was decomposing. Mary might have had a poker face, a cold face that only became fully expressive whenever Charles or Tommy was around, Lizzie could still hear the sound of her broken heart. Mary was in love with Tommy. It was so painfully obvious that Lizzie quickly realized she had a rival in Mary and had to act quickly to ensure that Tommy wouldn't get closer to her.
That brought a smile to her face, watching as Mary's chest was heaving up and down at a rapid pace and she was looking at her with eyes wide open. It hurt, like knives stabbing her heart upon hearing just how little she meant for the Peaky Blinders and Tommy. She couldn't measure up to Grace's memory. She couldn't become a Shelby. She couldn't dream about being important to Tommy. He was a complicated, closed-off, lonely man who only opened up to one woman and one woman only, after WWI. Even Lizzie who was close to him, still had no access to his mind, so why would Mary, a newcomer, could? Yet, she heard that Mary was still there, in Tommy's house and she heard what Mary said to Polly, during one of her visits.
The conversation went as such. Polly asked her "What do you think when you look at Tommy?" -To which Mary replied- "Poll...Polly. you know damn well what I am thinking when I look at Tommy. You know how hard my heart beats when I set my eyes on him. You know I have studied his face enough to know how he feels without having him spell it out to me. I know every little crease, every little smirk, every eye twitch...Polly... when I look at him, I wish he was my first husband. I wish he was the man I gave everything to, but I can't. we can't go back in time, Polly. Aaah...Tommy fucking Shelby stole my heart, that's what I am thinking about when I look at him. I can't imagine living without him. I can't imagine another man in my heart but him. What does that make me, Polly? I don't know. I don't know what that feeling is, but I know that I would give everything for him. But...I am not going to accept everything. I'm not going to let him stick his dick everywhere and consider me as nothing but a prop, or a hole to fill. I am more than just a girl to fuck you know? I refuse to be just a girl he can fuck when wants. I might not have the name, I might not have a family, and I am not a Shelby but I damn right can go head to head with one. uh... what do I think when I look at him? I think about running my fingers through his hair, while he reads the newspapers. I want to sing lullabies to him so he could sleep well at night. I want to protect him from his nightmares at night. Do you think I am losing myself to him? come on, Polls. you know that he also gives me something. I feel seen... protected... cared for. I mean something to him, whether he wants to admit it or not. I mean something. he makes me feel that I am part of this family and he makes me feel like a woman. I don't have much in this life, but he is my everything and I am going to make him feel like it!"
And that was enough to send her tripping. That was enough to make her drink another glass of whisky. She hoped that she caused enough ruckus to make him change his mind, and have him reconsider having Mary with him. Perhaps since she was a good person, she wouldn't be able to live the type of life Tommy was living. Perhaps she was a liability and Lizzie would work on this to try and persuade Tommy to kick Mary out "for her own protection". Still... there was a good chance that it backfired and Lizzie had no idea of how bad it would backfire on her.
-TBC-
No comments:
Post a Comment