“It’s…. Complicated. Right now I don’t know a lot about him to be able to dive deep into his mind. But I know…. I don’t want him to believe the lie that he’s a monster. It goes further than his kink for milk. This? It works with my power incontinence when I am scared or aroused. Drinking milk from a breast doesn’t make one a monster! Having emotions and big feelings as well. I can tell he grew up lonely. His private quarters are empty. Impersonal. He doesn’t even have family pictures. He’s all alone. Ryan is maybe the only family he ever had. He’s alone. He’s been isolated. And because he has been alone, he doesn’t want to be left alone. He needs to be loved. I can tell. I felt the same after my parents died. I felt the same when they were alive…. He’s not a monster. He’s not unlovable. Look at me, I fell in love with him. So it is a lie, isn’t it? Uh…. Right now. I think that the lie I don’t want him to believe is that I don’t want him. I do! I fucking do. He’s my man. He’s my man! Of course, I want him. Not just for fucking me. It’s not just sex. It’s… more than sex. He’s not a monster.”
xxx
That he is a death-bringer. Michael believes that Tommy kills anyone who loves him or works with him. He told me he was worried that Tommy might have me killed just because he attracts death. Tommy… believed it after Grace died. I heard him
With Polly. I saw him at home. He believed she died of a bullet meant for him. Maybe… maybe she was the target… that doesn’t mean that he attracts death and shouldn’t be close to people. He takes his distance from me. And I am left afraid and lonely because I don’t know how to pull him back to me. I don’t know how to reach out to him and help him feel better. I fear he believes it. I fear that’s why he’s not home that much…. I fear that’s why he doesn’t want to marry me. Maybe he doesn’t think about it. Maybe he’s afraid that if we do it, I will end up dead like all of his lovers. It
Is a lie! Tommy isn’t a death-bringer! He is the man I love and a man who brought me back to life! He…. He…. I promised I wouldn’t cry. I am sorry I failed…”
xxx
Baahal (modern)
“The lie? Well… the lie I can’t let him believe is that he’s too old for me. I am not a child! I am 25! I am an adult already! Somehow I might look a little young, and behave a little like a naive woman but never, oh never would I be a child! Or too young to be with him! It terrifies me that he listens to that crap because if he does he would leave me. And I would be alone again. I would see his sister who will remain my friend but… but…. Are you happy! I am sobbing now! I don’t want to imagine us apart!”
xxxx
Baahal: (regular)
“I fret that my beloved knight still believes that he doesn’t deserve a second chance at life. It goes beyond us. Beyond me. It is about him. Jaime showed his bravery and his desire to do better. He had tried to become a better person and I think that his efforts paid off. He became better! He is better. He paid already for the crimes and bad actions he did and while some might have been for selfish purposes, most of them were done because of love. Jaime had paid the price and lost most of his family. His brother and sister are all them at is left for him and I can’t…. I can’t imagine allowing the idea that he should be dead to fester in his mind. He deserves a second chance. A chance to be happy. A chance to become a father and to be in a legitimate and blessed relationship. I will do my best to keep him from believing a lie.”
xxxx
“Klaus…. Thinks he’s a monster who can’t be loved and who will always end up alone. This is a lie. This is a fucking lie. It’s complicated. Our curses forced us to be alone, to lash out, to push others out. His curse isolated him. It’s complicated…. Because he is the first of his kind and that makes you a lonely soul. But he’s not alone. He isn’t. I am here. I love him. I…. Am falling in love with him. And I understand better than anyone else what it is to be alone. I am alone… I have been until I met him. So I will try and make sure that he knows he’s not a monster that deserves to live a miserable life on his own.”
xxxx
“Pride doesn’t believe in lies. However, I make sure that he doesn’t convince himself that he has no soul. That he can’t feel anything. This is a lie I have heard so many times. So many moons ago. This is false. He feels. He loves. He is. Superbia isn’t a weapon. He isn’t a creature or a monster. He is a sentient being. I know he holds himself in high esteem but even he isn’t immune to self-doubt. So I will make sure to remind him of how grand and beautiful he is. Always.”
xxx
“I don’t want Dean to believe that he is not someone who can be loved. I refuse to let him believe the lie that he is damaged goods. He’s not. He’s fucking not. He is the most loving man I have ever known. He’s a devoted family man. A man who gives so much love, not with his words but with his actions. He is a man people want to be with or become like. He is the man who keeps my heart safe in his hands. He is a man I admire. He is a man I love. And it kills me to know he still doesn’t think he’s lovable. It breaks my heart for him. So all I can do is love him harder. On days he doesn’t love himself. I love him for the both of us.”
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