Tuesday, August 15, 2023

A vintage's touch: Confession of love

 "I used to think I would never heal from my wounds, that, they would keep bleeding until the day I die. I used to think that I was damaged goods and that God hated me. I grew up hating myself and embracing pain. I got married way too young I should to a man who didn’t love me. I lost a child and that is, to this day, the biggest pain I have ever felt. I didn’t believe I deserved a second chance until I met you, Tom. You gave me friends. You gave me a family! I was welcomed for the first time in my life. I laughed with you. I cheered you on. I cried for you and I was myself. 






Isn’t it funny, Tommy? Isn’t it funny that when we least expect it, life comes back and gives us a second chance? Charlie is a treasure. I healed thanks to him. He made me a mother for the second time and I love this child more than my own life. He is my son, here on Earth and I will take care of him until I’m gone. He made a mother again and healed the wound left by the death of my little Paul. Your family, the Shelbys, they made me feel like I was a part of it. I was a Shelby. I had a family of my own. I haven’t hated anymore, you... you gave it to me. A second family. People who loved me. Oh…






And you? With you, I was a woman again. I am… am a woman again. I desire you, I nurture you, I care for you. With you, I can be Mary the nurse, Mary the lover, Mary the friend, and Mary the wife. I opened up my heart again and I welcomed you here.” * wiping her tears* “I lived in denial for so long because I was afraid that it was all in my head. I was afraid that you were using me for Charlie and for keeping you company. I was afraid you were like my first husband but I was trying to protect my heart from breaking. The truth is…. The truth is I am in love with you, desperately so. You are my home, Tommy. You are my life! You are everything to me. And it hurts me to see you suffer in silence and hide it from me. It hurts me that you are hurting and I can’t help you. I want to care for you. I want to love you. I want to be there for you. And I will do my best to make it happen because you healed my heart and you put love inside.”

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