"I will never ask you to stay here. Tommy... I know how much you need to be free. I am not seeking to tame you, how could I my black Stallion? How could I want to stop you from thriving? How could I make you stay in one place when it's in your blood to move around? I am not seeking to chain you to me and I will never do it.
However... I need to know where you stand with me. I need to know if you want a life with me. I need to know, Tommy because it kills me not to understand why you do the things you do. It kills me not to be certain that you want me. That you want us to be together. that you want to start a family with me. It kills me because I don't know how to behave. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to help you.
Are we building a life together or do you only need the warmth I can give you? Do you want my heart? or do you not care for it? Because if you don't, then I would try and find someone who does. If you don't, then I will give you my friendship and try and make a life with someone who wants to share mine. someone good. someone...honest. If you do want to build a life with me, then I will support you even more. I will be able to know what to do and trust that you're doing this for Charlie and me too. I will be able to give all of me to all of you without second-guessing every choice you make. I know you will come back to me if you want a life with me.
Regardless of your choice, please, do know that you are mine. You'll always be my choice. You'll always be because I am in love with you. You'll always have it because you have my heart, in that tiny little pocket close to your heart and I believe in you. I know the content of your heart, your loyalty, your desire for more. I know the pain that drives you, I know of the nightmares you used to have until Grace came into your life. I know of the darkness inside of your heart but there is light in there too. I just won't let you get consumed by everything. I will look out for you. I will love you fiercely whether you love me or not.
It's just... I was hoping to have my little slice of heaven on Earth. I guess I'm so used to people using me and lying to me that I was afraid to speak my heart before. I was afraid to admit that the nurses who raised me were right and that no one, not even our Father in the sky loved me. How devastating that would have been, to see that I was not meant to find happiness in this life. I was afraid of that truth, but not anymore. So.. please.. let me know where you stand, so I could properly care for you. So I could love you the way I only know how to."
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