Before I met you, I didn't know what it was to truly be oneself. I thought I had it figured out. I thought that I was being true to myself when I was on my Only Fans or when I was in front of my fans. It was part of me, the part that loved to entertain and to get their attention. It was the part that was craving love and admiration. It was the part that enjoyed being under the spotlight and living a glamorous life. It was a part of me but it wasn't fully me. I didn't know what it was to be myself. Despite my relationships with both Tara and Brett, I never knew.
They wanted the smokes and mirrors. They fed my insecurities and manipulated me into being my alter-ego 24/7. I was Unnamed Girl but Unnamed Girl was whoever they wanted me to be, as long as I was worshipped by the fans and got the attention from the press, they didn't care. They didn't care for me. Sara... well, she's a whole different person isn't she? Sara loves to cook for those she loves. Sara loves to give gifts, hugs, and kisses. Sara loves to fuck..She loves to eat, she loves to dance, and be silly. She loves to read and she loves spending time with kids. Sara.. is sensitive, scared, and nervous. She wants to survive and she doesn't get involved in anything political or dangerous. Sara has freckles all over her body. She doesn't hate them, she doesn't hide them. She doesn't try to be who she is.
Before I met you, Sara had to shrink herself into nothing to please others. Before I met you, Sara had to neatly fit into a box...But with you, she can be messy. She can be needy. She can be soft and she can be protected. She doesn't need to be strong all the time, she doesn't need to put on a front. She doesn't need to lie to herself. She just is. She just is. I just am. I love you. I freaking love you and I won't go back
No comments:
Post a Comment