// It's been a while since I've written this babe.
xxxx
Another sleepless night, spent watching after Arthur, the oldest Shelby sibling. Mary had helped him through a bad case of withdrawal but it sucked the energy off of her, so she fell asleep, curled up in a ball on the couch. She didn't hear the sound of the front door, nor did she hear the sound of Ada's light footsteps as she entered the room with a silver tray and somewhat of a light breakfast served on it. She felt the hand of Tommy's sister run through her soft curly hair and slowly opened her eyes. Ada gave her a faint smile and put the tray on the small night desk. Mary rubbed her eyes and gave Ada a small smile before she sat on the bed and put her feet on the floor.
"Good morning, Sunshine."
"How long was I asleep?" -She glanced at the clock on the wall- "Oh... that much..."
"You have been up for two days straight. I didn't have the heart to wake you up. I chose to let you do it on your own terms." Ada elected to sit on the chair near the bed and crossed her legs once she was neatly seated.-
"I am so exhausted, Ada...Arthur is suffering so much. I don't know what more I can do to help him."
"You don't have to do squat, Mary! You're already doing fucking too much for Arthur! He's a grown man. He has to pick up after himself."
Ada was frustrated. She loved her brother, there was no doubt about it, but she was on her knees. Arthur was only adding to the stress she was under. She saw how hard Mary worked and it was becoming annoying, to some extent, that they all had to put their lives on hold because the oldest Shelby was in a predicament he put himself in. Mary wasn't Arthur's mother and Ada certainly had her own children to care about.
"I know.... But I also know that Arthur is in pain. It's a pain we can't fully understand you and me, because we've not gone to war. We didn't see what they saw, we didn't do what they did. Tommy, John... Arthur, all of them are coping in their own way, and Arthur... Well... his way is the most visible. "
"I guess you're right. it's just.. I worry about him. We won't always be able to be there for him. What is going to happen if he goes through another drunken or drugged-up stupor and nobody is here to help? He's got to get himself together for fuck's sake!" -Ada lit a cigarette and started to smoke.-
Mary took the silver tray and put it on the bed so she could grab the cup of tea that was on it. She rolled her head and massaged the back of her neck. Ada was upset and she couldn't hold it back given how shaky her left knee was. The nurse could relate. She was upset as well, mostly because she felt powerless. Arthur was self-destructive and she wanted to help him but she knew that she couldn't win this battle for him. It had to come from him. She took a couple sips from her cup and put it back on the tray. Her green eyes set upon Ada who shrugged her shoulders and tilted her head to the side.
"Arthur told me that he was scared to fail his brother again. He is scared I die on his watch again. He thinks that he is responsible for Grace's death and that he would fail me too. It's... I think he's traumatized."
"No shit, Mary! Who isn't bloody traumatized? Arthur knows I will always do my best to bring him home. Tommy knows I'll do my best for this family but..." -She puffed some smoke in the air- " I didn't come here to talk about my brothers. I came here to talk about you. It's been weeks since we've talked to each other. how are you, Mary?"
"I'm fine. I worry about Tommy but I guess he's doing alright. He just hasn't been home for a while and Charlie and I are both missing him."
"So... My brother is hurting you. That's what you're telling me."
"What? Oh.. no! Not at all. I mean... He has that wanderlust he can't really fight against. I understand his need to escape and wander... I focus on Charlie, I work harder... I do miss him. I do... I still don't know what we are, Ada. I know I'm family."
"But you want more than just know. You want it to be official, don't you?"
"......." -Mary tucked some hair behind her ears and nibbled on her bottom lip- "I want to be respectable. I don't want to keep my late husband's name and forever be a widow. I don't have a maiden name, if I did, believe me, I would have changed it back to it but I don't have any." She fidgeted with the hem of her skirt and lowered her head. "It's silly, I know."
"No. You want to make things official with Tommy. You also have wants and needs, Mary, and I'd be damned if you didn't make your demands to my brother. he is stubborn, but I think it's past the time you turn around each other. You fucking love him, don't you? Then maybe it's time you make it clear, don't you think?"
"He might still say no. It might still make things awkward. I don't want to ruin what we have, especially if he doesn't feel the same way I do. Tommy.... I am not sure he is in love with me, Ada. Perhaps, I am too naive to think that I could have what you had with your first husband. A man who could love me for me. A man who wouldn't want to leave me or use me... A man oh Ada...I feel silly. I'm making a fool of myself."
Ada furrowed her brows and crushed her cigarette on the ashtray near her desk. She was upset, it was so nonsensical to have Mary be so uncertain about Tommy's feelings for her. It was so obvious that her brother was head over heels for Mary and they were already living as a married couple, so what was holding him back? why couldn't he just make it official?
"Never, ever think that you're making a fool of yourself! Mary. Never! I can't make things better, nor can I speak for my idiot brother, but what I can say is that you're a Shelby. You're part of the family. I love you. I refuse to let you think that you're lesser than me. You're not. You have integrity, you're a breath of fresh air! and my brother is a lucky asshole to have you. So. Look at me and look me right in the eye when I say this. Your desires and wants are valid and you have every right in the world to make demands. So, demand it! You have my support! Now. forever. Always!"
And she knelt before Mary, holding the hand of the young woman just so she could look into Mary's eyes. The nurse held back some tears but she managed to smile to Ada. Her words meant the world to her but she needed Tommy to confirm it was true.
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