TB: Where I am today

TB: Where I am today

//  Sara is not comfortable when it comes to her exes. However this time, things are different because she is seeing the only man in the sky. 

xxxx

Sara stood in the middle of the gymnasium. She was trying to catch her breath and was focused on the screen in front of her. Tara Bennet was on screen. She was a guest at a talk show and was invited to talk about her work as an interior designer. The sight of her former girlfriend gave Sara such a whiplash, that she almost fainted. Tara had become a beautiful woman, and she looked even more sophisticated than before with her red and white pantsuit. She had longer hair than before, neatly tied in a high ponytail and she looked happy. She seemed to be.  Sara wanted to change the channel but her body refused to move, how could she? Tara had been her first serious relationship but one that was ill-fitted for her.  She broke up because according to her, Sara was becoming boring and she wanted to have fun once again. It took years for the young woman to realize that Tara was in fact afraid of her fame. She couldn't handle the fact Sara was becoming her own person and was successful. She couldn't handle not being the best one in the relationship. Still, the accusations made Sara's skin crawl as she remembered how desperate she was to get her back. 

Dotty, her manager was sitting at the table at the corner of the gymnasium. She was going through Sara's tour schedule and noticed that her protegee wasn't training anymore and had been silent for over 30 minutes. She lifted her head to look at the TV and saw the infamous Tara Bennet, which prompted her to furrow her brows and put her papers down to go check on Sara. During the interview, Tara was asked about her infamous relationship with Unnamed Girl and if she would redesign her ex's home if the singer hired her. Damn, talk shows! Sara started to panic and ran her hand through her silky black locks to tuck them behind her ears. A typical sign of her anxiety creeping back up. Tara started to speak about how she suffered from the uncanny popularity of Unnamed Girl and why she decided to break up with her for someone who was more private. Just when she was about to answer, Dotty interrupted Sara's trail of thoughts. 

" Turn that tv off, Sara."

"I... Dot...I'm going to throw up." -She said, turning on her heels to wrap her arms around her manager- 

"You don't need to listen to that crap or to see her. She doesn't deserve your attention. Come on, Baby."

"I just... didn't realize how much pain I would feel to see her again." - Sara knew what it was.  Tara was fucking selfish. She loved it when the singer was at her lowest when she was still struggling as an artist. Dotty pulled Sara into a hug, holding onto the young woman as tight as she could-

"She doesn't deserve your tears, baby. She did you a favor when she left, you know she did." -The heartbreak helped Sara move forward with her career. She wrote her best songs during her heartbreak and when she met Brett, so in a way, Tara helped her.- "Besides, you've been doing much better, haven't you? Did you meet someone?"

At the question, Sara blushed hard and held her manager tighter against her frame. She couldn't tell her just yet what was happening in her life. How could she break the news about seeing Homelander? As her manager, Dotty would see the opportunity to date the most famous (or to be more precise, infamous) man on Earth. She would try to twist it into something that could benefit Sara and there would have been a time when the singer might have considered it... to some extent. She didn't like fake relationships and she wouldn't have pretended to be with Homelander. If she was, then it would only be because it was true. Sara was reluctant to let her manager take hold of her relationship. She didn't want to give it a showbusiness twist. It was not a lie. It was not a game. It was real. She was head over heels for John. She was head over heels for Homelander. She fell for him and she was helplessly smitten with him.  One could say that the sex (being mindblowing) was what attracted Sara the most to him. No. It was the bait that made her want to stay around longer. Of course, they had chemistry. They discovered each other in a very fun way. He was her kryptonite, to be honest, she became needy of him, of his touch, of his voice, of his presence. She enjoyed Homelander and she loved that he enjoyed her too and sometimes she liked to think that he was made for her. He was perfect for her. but sex was the bait. What made her stay was much deeper than that. 

As her friend, Dotty would be worried. She would question Sara about her connection with Homelander. What did she see in him? What made her want to be with him? Well, they had things in common. From the loneliness and search for true connections to the parental issues they both had (he didn't have any, but she didn't know it. She just knew the story he told the press wasn't the truth because he behaved like a lonely child. She didn't have the best parents in the world, as a matter of fact, they weren't parents at all). Homelander could understand her need for closeness and her desire for the truth. He could understand her need to be loved and the way she tried to fill the void in her heart with her fans and her career. She could understand him too. She saw the good in him. As small as it was, it existed. She saw the way he cared for his son, the way he "loved" Ryan and the way he was trying to be there for him.  Homelander didn't know any better. He never had the chance to be himself. Sara understood that from the moment he was born, he became Vaught's plaything. The company molded him into what they wanted him to be but he never had the chance at discovering himself. At being a person. This left a void in his heart too, the same as the way her parents neglect made her feel empty. Sara saw the way he was with her, protective, relaxed, happy, and trusting.  With Sara, he discovered new things, he discovered himself and she was grateful he wanted to do it with her. It was precious to her, it was far more precious than anything else in her life (well, save for her career and the fan adoration).

She couldn't really explain, but she needed him in her life. She wanted him to feel better, to be happy, and was even willing to overlook the evil shit he's done, as long as he wasn't doing it to her (which he promised he would not). Dotty would have been alarmed by the willingness Sara had to associate herself with him and the trust she had in Homelander. She would have told her to be careful because she didn't have the best judgment of character and her last relationships proved to be complete disasters. Dotty would have told her to stay away from Homelander and Sara knew it. So she didn't want to talk about him. She wasn't ready just yet. Perhaps, the manager would supersede the friend. Perhaps, Dotty would see that Sara was finally happy and safe with Homelander. Perhaps, she would even support them. Still, seeing Tara on screen brought so many bad memories that all the super could do was hold her friend as tight as she could. 

"I haven't met someone. I decided to focus on myself for now. I'm done with romance, kinda..."

"I will keep an eye on ya.  The next one is gonna have to be vetted by me. Ya hear me?" -Sara nodded, mostly because she couldn't bring herself to correct her manager- "Good, because I don't want to see you hurtin'. No one is going to put their hands on you. Not on my watch!"

"Dot....Thank you."

Dotty was genuinely fond of Sara, somehow she treated the young woman like a daughter. Yes, it was true that Sara was her "product". She was her client and the main source of income for the manager and as such, Dotty wanted her girl to be safe and still working. She took her under her wing when she was just 18 years old and somehow, raised her too. So in a way, Sara was her daughter and her happiness meant a lot to her too.  

-TBC-