Friday, August 31, 2018

Jaime x Bäahal : a friend in need

One year after Cersei's death, Casterly Roc, at dawn.

"I came as fast as I could, lead me to his room." -she commanded as a handmaid took her to the knight's room.

The Lannisters fell in disgrace as soon as queen Cersei finally fell. It was only a matter of time after all before they felt the consequences of Joffrey's reign, Tommen's and the mad queen's. Suffocating with debts accumulated by Cersei, they were spared further humiliation by Daenerys, who mercifully paid for them for lady Kyra's sake. Tyrion's last act of "kindness" was to let the surviving Lannisters to keep Casterly Roc as their only possession, under the ownership of Lady Kyra. There was not a lot of them who survived. All the leaders of the extended Lannister family died on the battlefield, or after when they persisted in refusing Daenerys as their queen. Jaime watched as they burned to a crisp and prepared himself for the pyre until he saw Lady Kyra.

Losing Kyra to Daenerys broke Jaime's heart more than he cared to admit. He had thought after the Long Night that she would come with him back home, back to King's landing and close to Cersei, but the young lady refused to follow him. She told him that for the first time in her life she would choose for herself and that the only way for her to return to Cersei would be in a coffin. The divorce was clear and loud and painful to witness. She tearfully told Jaime that she loved him but wanted to live and couldn't do so with a sister whose entire life was dedicated to torturing her. Jaime tried to defend Cersei but even him could not play blind, so he left her behind, to the enemy she seemed to have accepted as friends. To the enemies who treated her well. Seeing her when he was asked if he'd bend the knee or die convinced Jaime to accept to live for his sister's sake but he had been a shadow of who he was ever since. Confined in the walls of Casterly roc during the first year of Daenerys reign, he spent most of his days dwelling in the pain induced by the loss of his life. 

"Jaime..." she ran to his bed. He was feverish, sick from days of wandering And wore little if not just a robe made of cotton. She ushered the maids out of his bedroom so there would only be the two of them. 

Lady Kyra asked for help when Jaime went missing. He could have gone anywhere and she feared he decided to end his life. The jewel of the Lannister family, their golden boy was gone the day Cersei was killed. He wasn't shining anymore, he wasn't glowing. Nothing of the proud warrior he once was remained. The people ridiculed him, taunted him whenever he went outside, as a cathartic way to overcome the pain caused by Cersei's reign. He was the last remnant of a bloody and vain past, filled with bodies on the floor and suffering. Jaime didn't care much for the daily humiliation but he drew a line at being reminded of his loss and the joy he saw on people faces whenever they mentioned the dead queen. He let himself go. He let himself die slowly in hopes he could eventually die without causing Kyra the stress of taking his own life. For almost a year he held on, holding back his tears until he was alone, but even for a man this burden was too much to carry so he ran away. He was ready to find anyone willing to fight him and quickly kill him but the depressed state of mind he was in, didn't allow him to have any sort of energy. So he went adrift. And he fell sick. He was found by a man who recognized him and sent him back to Casterly roc where Lady Kyra tended to her brother. She had him cleaned up and shaved and all seemed well until the fever started again. 

"Jaime...." -She put her hand on his cheek, gently stroking it while she dabbed some fresh water on his guilt-ridden face-

For a year princes,s Bäahal had been quiet. They had won the war and Daenerys became queen. The first year was rough, worse than they expected it to be. Many resisted the new queen, many acclaimed her. So far no one tried to rise against her, the enemies had been burned after all but everyone was tense. Mereen And the sons of the harpies were heavily weighing in. It would not be a surprise if something similar happened on Westeros after all so Jon and the rest of the queen's council were holding their breaths. Bäahal noticed her growing concern for Jaime since the issue of the war. Lady Kyra kept her informed with letters but she had not visited the castle since he was sent to live here. She had not written a letter either because she did not know what to say. She didn't know how to feel and felt like expressing relief over his survival would be cruel. 

She cared for the golden knight, often dreamed of conversing with him, often thought of comforting him but those thoughts and feelings did not sit well with her. They felt inappropriate, unwanted, unbridled And wild. Maybe she simply just empathized with him... surely. Surely it was that! She convinced herself of the platonic nature of her feelings and of how complicated her own situation already was. She was a bastard princess, pamphlets were given that stressed the very nature of hers. Awful writings insulting her mother and deriding her sacrifice for a whore of a daughter...it stung despite being expected. It also prompted her to leave the castle. To meet the people, help those in need, or protect Daenerys interests by commanding an army. She did not know yet what she wanted to do but she was decided to leave and find out. 

"They found you... they finally did. Thank the gods for your safe return." -she dabbed the wet fabric on his cheek-

She had rushed to him. As soon as she heard he was gone missing, the princess organized search parties. She went south in order to look at the Lannister and because she did, Jaime was found. Good. That was good. However, she hadn't slept. She had barely eaten. Concern creased her forehead and her heart ached. She wished with all she had that he did not die and promised to only give up if they found him, dead or alive. He had to live. He had to take the chance to live a life without Cersei and redefine himself. He had to live a life surrounded by the people who cared for him... with her if he wanted. Her jaw trembled as she cupped his cheek, his golden hair grew back to how bey looked several years ago, long flowing golden locks that made Tywin so proud of him were back, longer than before and the princess lost her fingers in his mane. He seemed to like the gesture and moaned in his sleep. Her breath became sharp and her senses acute as he instinctively held the back of her neck and pulled her Into a kiss.  He was still sleeping and she knew he might have been acting on an impulse but the kiss was electric. 

Bäahal closed her eyes, her hand ran up his hair she massaged while their tongues danced slowly. He pulled away, opened his eyes still asleep and confused by the badly lit room. He ticked some locks behind her ear and whispered.

"You are still as beautiful as before, Cersei." -and he closed his eyes again-

"Yes..." 

It threw her back into reality. A reality where Lord Jaime was desperately in love with a mad woman who sucked the life out of him. A reality where he still loved her. It felt like a cold shower, despite the princess being aware of him. It stung and her breathing became sharper as she sat on the floor, her back against the bed and put her hand over her lips. For a minute she felt as light as a butterfly, the kiss clearly pleased her,  clearly made her heart jump in her ribcage and internally smile, only to have the rugged pulled from under her as soon as he mentioned Cersei. Her hand clenched her chest as she tried to control the sudden panic caused by all those emotions and as she felt the sheets make some noise and lifted her head, she realized he was sitting up on his bed, fully awake.

"Princess? What are you doing here?" 

"You... You had a fever. I was trying to take it down."


Her voice returned to neutral as she put her walls back up. He was a Friend in need and she came to help him. That was the truth and that was enough. 

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