"I do not ask for much. I believe I don't. What I know is that I want you to know that you have a home, Tom. You have a home here with Charlie and with me. I know you keep things to yourself and I will never be able to reach out to you completely. I know that there are things that you would keep a secret from me. I know that there is so much I don't know about you, about your family and the business. I know...That doesn't mean I would hold it against you. I won't. We all have our secret gardens, filled with memories we'd rather suppress or actions we'd rather forget. I also know that I do not love a shadow of a person. You are still in there, somewhere, Tom. You're still in there and it doesn't matter how long it takes before I can go and piece yourself back. It doesn't matter how many times I do it. You can fall apart with me. I will always be there and will always try to put you back together because I love you. I love you so much.
I thought I was dead, Tom. Dead! That's what I thought I was. I thought there was nothing left inside my heart, that there was no more love for me to give but you came into my life and you showed me that I was wrong. I still have love to give. I still have love to feel...And I want you to be able to feel it. I want you to be able to see for yourself that there is someone who loves you here... No matter the crimes you committed. No matter the distance you put between life and yourself. I believe in you. I always have and always will. It's been a decade now, don't you think that if I had an issue with who you were, I would have been gone by now? I never tried to leave, not even once I was perfectly safe. I didn't try to be away from our son and from you. I can't dream of doing it. You brought me back to life. You gave me a reason to believe that I wasn't forsaken by God and that somehow, somewhere, someone wanted to build a life with me. You built a life with me, my dear Soldier. My dear Gangster... My dear Thomas Shelby O.B.E.
I have been worried because you've almost spent a whole month without giving us signs of life too. I knew you were working because the peaky boys told me that they heard from you or saw you. I knew you were alive, but you were distant, perhaps, the most distant you've ever been. Charlie asked for his father and I didn't know what to say aside from reassuring him that he didn't do anything wrong and you still loved him. I went to your office, wearing riské clothes, just because I wanted to bring you back to me. I missed you so much. I had to do something and come see you. I... Tommy, I can't say that I understand everything, but I know that something is amiss. I know that your mind is stuck somewhere and I think I can recognize grief when I see it. I think I can recognize pain when I see it. I might not have been through the same things as you did, but "real recognizes real". I know what that is but this time, you will not have to face it alone. Whatever that is, whatever it takes, I am here. I will always be here because there is no way in hell that I would let the man I love suffer alone. I would never let the man I love suffer. I can't. I can't because if I do, I will crumble too. So, my love, for Christmas, all I am asking for is for you to come home and rest your soul with your family. All I ask is for me to be able to care for you, to comfort you, and to love you as you deserve. It's all I want."
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