1) she’s not exactly known for keeping her emotions to herself. Oya can get angry and she had already been angry in front of Dean. It’s never been because of him but rather of the idea that some victims are kids. She loses control whenever it’s the case. Dean saw her punch a wall, and be vicious when killing monsters, he saw her scream and yell and lash out at these monsters for hurting kids. He also saw her be angry at angels (including Castiel before she got to love him) and yell at them or insult them because of her issues with them. She never hid that part of herself with Dean. He saw her as she was.
2) of course he can calm her down. When she’s angry, he talks to her or he is there and lets her lash out until she gets exhausted and cries out of frustration. Then he comes along and hugs her. He strokes her hair. He teases her just so she can feel like herself again. He would wait until she was ready to talk to him to address the situation.
3) his adorable smile. When he looks at her with his puppy eyes and adorable smile he’s happy. She loves to see him happy and relaxed and just about ready to sing or play guitar. Dean struggles to feel like this more often than not so she’s so happy when he does and those simple actions are enough to put her in the mood for sex. When he’s in his usual mood, it’s when he saves people. When he reassures the victims. It’s when Dean shows his altruistic side that she folds the most for him and wants to fuck him. But if we’re looking at something innocuous that turns her on the most? When he speaks about music / comic books/telenovelas he’s so passionate about it. Gosh, a sexy nerd he is! And she can’t help but feel the tingles
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