Small Heath Birmingham, Thomas Shelby mansion,
Mary had been reading by a tree. She wasn't working that day at the institute and had decided to go for a walk on the property and find a nice spot to sit down and read poetry. The sky was cloudless and a bright blue and soft fresh breeze was blowing in her face, which prompted her to lean her head against the tree so she could be more comfortable in her reading. The poem she read spoke of broken relationships, violence, and relief from being free from such a situation. Before Mary could react, a single tear rolled down her soft cheek and fell onto the page she was reading. Another one followed, then another one and before she knew it, Mary was properly sobbing in her book. She put it on her lap and covered her face with both hands, unable to stop sobbing as a repressed memory forced its way back into her mind.
She remembered the day she found Carter Colson, her late husband. He was lying on his front, in a pool of blood with very obvious signs that he had been shot several times. At first, she didn't believe he was dead and her first impulse was to kneel next to the body and shake it. She turned him around enough for her to see that his face was pale, his life was gone so she let his body drop back onto the floor and the pool of blood that had spilled onto it. Her husband was dead, killed by the mob he once belonged to. They had trashed their humble house, looking for the money he had stolen from them but Mary knew that it was in vain because Carter had spent every pound of that money in gambling and other dice games.
Sadness rushed in first. Carter was the first and only man she knew and while their relationship was less than stellar, she was mourning for her loss. Her husband was taken from her and she realized that she would never be able to talk to him. It was short-lived, however, as disgust took over, quickly followed by anger. Carter was an awful man, a criminal. Everything about their union was cursed from the beginning. The time spent away from him, hidden by her very good friend and colleague from his fists had helped Mary work on herself. She realized that a man as old as he was shouldn't have seduced a child like her. He was an adult, a full-blown adult when they met. He had lied to the government and pretended he was disabled so he couldn't go to war while in fact, he was a very able-bodied man. He courted the abused orphan Mary, knowing full well that she was just 14, and the evil nurses who "raised" her, condoned that. They threw Mary into his claws, let him defile her and steal her innocence and when she turned up to be pregnant, they forced a marriage between the two of them... or to be more precise, they sold that child to that older man to get rid of her.
She still remembered how dismissive of her emotions he was and how desperate to leave the orphanage she was at the time. She naively thought he was in love with her, that he was honest and kind and although the first night wasn't traumatic, it wasn't exactly good either. Carter took from her and barely gave her something back, enough to impress her mind but as she grew to learn, it was nothing. He gave her nothing. She still remembered her joy of learning about her pregnancy and his annoyance at becoming a father. She didn't care, she would give all of her love to someone truly innocent who deserved to be raised in a loving home. She worked to support her "disabled" husband and herself, while pregnant and perhaps that could explain why the baby didn't survive. She had to breathe in toxic waste, and she had to do physically demanding jobs to sustain both of them. Perhaps it simply was fate or God or anything really, but her fault. Either way, Mary didn't think so. She took the blame for the death of her child. The birth itself was traumatic for such a young body, traumatic because she was giving birth alone while her husband was having fun in town. The child's death was even more of a trauma as she had to endure it alone. She held her son in her arms and watched him turn purple and die all by herself. while her husband was having fun in town.
Her anger made Mary hit the body, she lashed out at him for his cruelty towards her. For not even being decent enough to pay for the funeral of their son. He promised he would take care of everything, only for him to bail on the day the child was supposed to be buried. He only came back later that day to take Mary to run away to Birmingham so the nuns couldn't report the thievery and they would start over. Back then, she still naively believed him. She was 15, what did she know? He exploited her in their new home and sent her to work while he lazed out at home. He kept taking advantage of her, forcing her into sex when she was still reeling from her loss. he let her dwell in her depression, enforced the idea that she was indeed, cursed and forsaken by God and they had to try again for another child and when she didn't comply, he would use brute force against her. She learned to handle the bruises, she learned to hide them from the others up until the day she was visited by two gangsters. Up until the day she discovered the truth.
her husband could walk. He could work. He should have been to war! He stole money from his former gang and they were looking for it. As truth bombs exploded one after the other, Mary realized that she had been had by a lying man. She had been used by a disgusting man and she decided to leave. He pulled at her heartstrings, tried to negotiate, begged, and pleaded with her to take him back but she managed to leave and hide at a friend's place. She told him to give the money back and get his act straight if he wanted to have a chance, but in truth, she was hoping for God to punish him. And he did. Carter was now dead but she knew that her life was in danger because the mob would want her to refund him. So she hit him, she hit Carter's body harder because he put her in a pickle. Because of him, she was forced to run away for her life. Because of him, she was associated with a gangster who stole money from his gang. Because of him, she had no life.....
How odd was it that this memory came back to her mind, especially when she had been trying to bury everything deep into her mind? How odd was it that the moment she thought that she had a much better life, the ghost of her past came back with a vengeance? Tommy had nothing to do with Carter. He wasn't Carter and perhaps, it was the realization that she was safe that made Mary think of the old times and of how far she had come. It felt good to cry her pain away, to purge her heart from the fear and heartbreak she felt because of her late husband. Tommy wasn't Carter. She was free. and she felt relief. Yes, Relief! At last!
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