#I will visit my sister and her family. We see each other in a week after the holiday season. Happy Holidays!#
Dotty's message read the exact same every single year. Sara noticed that very little was changed when she wrote to her. Every year was the same, Dotty would be breathing on her neck all year round and would disappear around Christmas and the New Year. She claimed that it was the only holiday season she could share with her family and the only opportunity Sara could have to spend some days alone. It used to amuse Sara because Dotty who did her best to avoid her family throughout the year was now very concerned with spending time with them, something Sara couldn't understand. Perhaps the old woman loved these people or wanted the illusion of a familial bond? Who was Sara to judge? It amused her, at the beginning. Sara never had a healthy relationship with her parents to begin with, so they turned Christmas into "Reward Day." Where she would be given a gift of her choice for her yearly performances. It was also the only opportunity her mother took to cook Sara's favorite meal. Then, at the orphanage, it was more of a cruel day where the managers and workers humiliated the gifted kids. After all, weren't they all freaks? Sara remembered how much she hated the place and refused to participate in this humiliation, choosing to be punished with dry bread and a glass of water as the only meal since she refused to play along. So she wasn't impressed with Christmas and didn't mind when Dotty left for a week.
It started to bother her when she realized that the excuse she gave for leaving was that she wanted to share the holiday with her family. If these people were family, then what was the relationship Sara had with Dotty? It stung more than she dared to admit to herself, to realize that this jolly woman who was somewhat of a mother figure didn't consider her part of her family. Yet, she was behaving like a mother figure, watching after her like a hawk, trying to help her out of abusive relationships, looking after her career...She had helped Sara learn a great deal about herself, about being a woman and navigating the crab bucket the entertainment industry was. Dotty genuinely cared for her but apparently, not enough to consider her family. not enough to invite her over so she could experience a normal Christmas and unboxing day. Sara wasn't enough. It hit her like a truck and she threw her phone away from her. It landed on the floor, unscathed despite the brutal impact. Why did she care that much anyway? Why did she care? Her ex Tara only wanted to be lavished with gifts and conceded to order fine dining with Sara's favorite food as a reward for her good actions. Her ex Brett only wanted to be seen with Unnamed Girl in some lavish settings. He never wanted to be home, never wanted to put up a tree or even think about a gift. Something meaningful to her. Oh no... He took her on trips where he would be sure to show off his good physique and skills for the camera while she was pretending to be fine with being under camera flashes almost non-stop.
"Fuck it...I hate you Dotty!" -That was a lie, she was upset beyond reason but she didn't hate the woman- "You're always leaving me alone during the holidays... what am I to do with myself?" - She lamented before she ran her hand through her black hair-
Homelander... Maybe he would like to be invited to her place. Maybe he would like to spend the holidays with her... Maybe she could even ask for him to bring his son over? She wasn't sure he would be on board with the idea. After all, they have been dating very recently and she wasn't sure he would appreciate her suggesting to do something this emotionally intimate with him, let alone, bring his son into it. She wasn't sure but her heart wanted it. He seemed to genuinely want her and care for her. He seemed to have no issue whatsoever with her true self. He didn't care for the superstar she was, for the glitter and the fake smiles -well, that was also part of his job, so truly, he could care less about her fake personality-. he didn't care for her freckles her curves, or even the way she panicked. He seemed to have accepted her quirks and that was reassuring. Perhaps this time she got it right! Perhaps this time she truly met someone who cared for her and who would treat her decently. Someone who would enjoy the simplicity of a Christmas meal she would cook for them. perhaps, someone who would even think about bringing her a gift, a small symbolic gift. He didn't know her well and neither did she but she wanted to try, she needed to try. She rubbed her arms with her warm hands and took a deep sigh. She would ask him to come over for Christmas and would do so now. So she stood up and started to look for her phone and upon finally finding it, she grabbed it and started to text Homelander.
#Would you want to celebrate Christmas with me at my place? I will put up a tree, and cook a good meal. you can absolutely bring Ryan with you. I'll have a few gifts for both of you, nothing too big but things I hope you'll enjoy. If yes, please let me know early enough for me to prepare everything? okay? Thanks. Love.#
And she sent it, her heart almost breaking out of her ribcage, but she sent it anyways.
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