A/N: let her breathe some okay? Oscar storyline is not dead, as a matter of fact, he observed her for a year to get to know her and find the right time to make himself known. Now is the time. All usual disclaimers
Xxxxxxxx
One year sober. She did ruin this anniversary when she drank on her brother's anniversary. A moment of solitude led to a moment of weakness and she couldn't fight her demons anymore. Asma wasn't very proud of herself because she knew she would have to go through the same path over again. Start over, reset everything. It was a necessary pain and she was aware of that, but that didn't remove the bitter taste of failure in her mouth. Jax was kind, she wrongly texted him when she truly wanted Jessica's help that night and he brought her over to their house, pretending she needed a lift and their house was the closest so Jessica wouldn't know about her mistake. That was nice and it gave her a real chance to start over.
Therefore, this one year was gone. She returned to AA meetings and resumed working on herself for the last three months. The taste of alcohol wasn't the worst. It was the temptation that came back that was the worst. She had to struggle day and night not to succumb to the urge to throw some jack daniels into her throat and deal with the issue at hand the best way she could. By facing it. She had to force herself into acting instead of reacting and despite Jessica noticing a slight discomfort whenever her friend came over the house, she still had no clue that Asma did drink three months ago. It was okay, Asma was working very hard for it to work. She still went to the races where she would let speed be her new drug.
She still went to Jessica's house and spent time with her, the jellybeans and Lyla whenever the blonde stopped by and even allowed herself to spend some night at the local restaurants or discovering places she didn't know existed at Charming. It was okay, she even had it good. Since her business had been left alone and no racial slurs were painted in the last year, she even relaxed more at work. And boy did she work. Her business was good, known and appreciated. She received visits from local teenagers or young adult in soul-searching phases, but also bikers and SAMCRO members. Most of the time she fixed existing tattoos or added new ones but it was fine by Asma. Bills were paid and it was enough for her.
Something happened as well. A good new of the sort. A couple of days before Jax left town, she received a call from « Tiggy ». She couldn't remember how he got her phone number and suspected Opie for giving it to her, not that it mattered. He called and he came over for a « tattoo ». Well, he didn't actually need to be inked but he wanted to see and talk to her. They talked, she couldn't remember the conversation, her mind was too busy feeling attracted to him to actually allow her to focus on him. They kissed and kissed and undressed each other to finally have sex at her shop. Not the most comfortable place you'd argue, but it happened there. Then she went home with him and it happened again. It lasted quite a few hours before he left her place and went back to his.
But it happened. She had sex! Asma kept it to herself for a couple of days, unable to say if it really happened or if she dreamed the whole thing but a text from Tiggy brought her back to reality. It did happen, he did it, it was most likely to happen again and she wanted to have it. He was a complex man with a huge emotional baggage. There was no need to be Sherlock Holmes to notice that he was troubled. Of course, there also was the issue of him being part of SAMCRO and therefore tied to illegal activities but it was way above her head right now. They fucked so what? It wasn't as if she wanted to date him or anything -or he for that matters. So of course, she shushed that thought away and focused on being happy to finally have itched a very intense scratch.
It did make her eager to remain sober because she did remember everything that happened that night. She remembered the words they exchanged, the things they did, the shivers it sent down her spine, the relief and the pleasure of being fucked. Of course, she would want to still be able to remember so she pushed through the AA meetings. « Hi my name is Asma Jensen and I'm an alcoholic. » became her routine for the last couple of days. Tiggy left town with his crew so she had no idea of where he was and why he was away but it didn't matter. He would return. He would yes? It became easier for her to open up about the reasons that led her to drink.Since she started the programme, she always talked about everything BUT the main reason that led her to drink.
She talked about her mother being so ill she had to be taken to a medical facility. She talked about her brother being in a gang and being murdered the two weeks after she arrived in town. She talked about the racial slurs painted on her shop and the judgemental Stepford moms who had nothing better to do. She talked about her limp, her lack of sexual activities despite having found a solution lately and of course she talked about her loneliness. What she didn't talk about was Oscar. « Hi, my name is Asma Jensen and I am an alcoholic... » did come with its perks and its flaws. Of course, talking helped, and the counselor really did a good job to help bring out the most painful memories for you to talk about and understand your addiction. Of course, you needed more than just a conversation but it was part of the healing and she appreciated to be able to talk about it. She felt better, she felt more grounded and at last, she began to have a future.
« Hi, my name is Asm-- » She couldn't finish her sentence that very evening. It was such a shame, it was a night she decided would change everything for her because she would finally be able to talk about her biggest issue. She was ready to open up about her trauma and face her fears. It would do her great, it would do great by Jessica and the kids too. She wanted to do right by her friend, and by herself of course. It was first and foremost a quest for well-being, a personal quest for feeling better and be happier. It didn't take away from Asma's need to be a better person to be around, especially when kids were involved. She froze, unable to talk. He was sitting in the group she was addressing, right in front of her. At first, she didn't notice because he was wearing sunglasses, but soon enough he took them off and she could see it was Oscar. How bold did he feel to actually appear in front of her? Asma's heart sank and she quickly mumbled an apology before she headed towards the exit. Her blood pressure level increased, her legs became weak, her heart skipped several beats but she knew one thing: she had to get out of there.
He followed her quietly, walking behind her as if he owned the streets of the small town. She tried to walk faster but she knew that she'd trip and fall and it would be his cue to grab her. She took her phone and tried to call Jessica but her hands were shaking too much. As she finally reached out her car, She successfully called Jessica but before she could put the phone in her ear to cry for help, She turned around, to see if he was still following her but there was nobody. Swiftly, Asma entered her car and left the place as fast as she could. Jessica missed her calls because she had to cater to Abel needs and maybe it was for the best because the Asma she would have had the phone would be hysterical. She parked in front of her house. The neighborhood was silent given how late it was so Asma knew she would have to be careful not to make too much noise. She wiped away the tears that finally rolled down her cheeks and took a deep breath.
Yes, he was in town. He announced his presence several months ago with a yellow rose, how else did she think it would turn out to be? He was probably observing her, maybe he knew about her house? It wasn't safe for her to stay there so she didn't think twice and turned on the engine of the car. Jessica called her but Asma didn't hear her phone. She didn't know where to go, where she wouldn't put anyone in danger. She would have gone to Tiggy's place if she even knew where it was. She would have gone to Opie and see where he could keep her safe or she would have gone to the auto repair and stayed the fuck out of sight and under their protection.
But nobody was home. Nobody was there except for Jessica. Panicked and crying, Asma picked up some speed and quickly arrived at Jessica's house. She parked there and yanked her head into the headset. What could she do now? Oscar found her, let her know he was there, and finally moved on to actually meeting her face to face at her AA meeting. She took a deep breath and her reflexes had her open her purse to take a flask of whiskey she usually kept inside. There was nothing, so she searched the car and found nothing in there too. Shit ! That's what you get for leading a clean life! There was no trace of alcohol in her car which frustrated the young woman who leaned her head back into the headset and looked up to the roof of her car. It was bad, it was more than bad...
She couldn't escape from him. No matter where she was, he would always go after her. She knew that now. She couldn't even drink to forget. Her new way of life forced her to feel and what she felt at this exact moment was fear. Her phone rang again, Jessica being worried not to hear from her friend and she picked up the phone, wiping out her tears.
« Hello... Jess ? Do you have a spare room for tonight? I have nowhere else to go. »
At the other end of the phone, Jessica replied with a quick « Yes » and asked her where she was but she heard the sobs of her friend and started to ask questions « Are you alright? Where are you? I can come get you. Asma ? Are you safe right now? » But questioned remained unanswered because Asma was still sobbing.
« I'm right outside your front door. » She managed to say before she started to sob harder. Of course, Jessica decided to come pick up her friend and went outside. She gently let Asma see her before she knocked on the door to urge her friend to get out of the car. For a brief minute, Asma thought that it might have been a bad idea to come and endanger her friend but she opened the door and quickly found herself entangled in a soft embrace.
« Come inside and tell me what happened okay? »
She would, once she would catch her breath, Asma promised Jessica she would tell her what happened earlier. Everything, from her sexcapade with Tiggy to Oscar reenacting « good omen » on her.
(TBC)
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