A/N: He is still pissed off (blending in old solos about him and the new elements of the plot). I don't hate him for he's been a tool for Ayasha but still, he's an asshole
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« I am Ishtar the God of War. The New All-Father. As I sit on my throne I remembered the events that led to that new position of mine. Would you believe me if I said that I didn't plan on any of this to happen? I was very fine with just being the god of war. I walked on human battlefields, influencing them so they could fight a war in my name. It didn't matter which side won because both sacrificed their lives for my sake. I became a little more powerful with each passing wars and I helped to regulate mankind in the process. Elpis was always by my sides. Sweet Elpis. Kind Elpis. Delicate Elpis like a flower waiting to be plucked from the fertile ground by my rough calloused hands. I keep telling myself that I only had benevolent thoughts towards my sister and that I never lusted after her. That is a lie, maybe the biggest of them all. I desired her. I still do. I imagined she would be mine and mine only. She used to be so innocent and gullible. Upbrought to only help those around her or maybe it was her true nature? She appeased me. I am bloodthirsty, violent, despicable even but it is my nature. I am the God of War. I call for blood, I kill other gods and I encourage humans to kill each other. I thrive in their destruction. I thrive in their demise. She appeased me with her light, with her softness.
I still remember how she felt whenever her soft hand touched my roughed and calloused skin. Her voice felt like silk, her skin was the softest I've ever touched. Her features were beautiful. From her hair that was soft like cotton candy to her plump lips and curves to damn a pure heart. I wanted her. I wanted all of her. I remember the dreams I had involving her and how I always woke up frustrated that they were nothing but illusions of the mind. I truly believed that working with me would prepare her to the next level and she thought as I did. I was gravely mistaken. When the scandal broke that Elpis had given herself to a SIN, I remember how furious I was. I felt betrayed, I felt robbed of the chance to be with her. At first, I wanted to believe that she didn't give herself but was forced to. After all, Sins were the worst of the worst of any living creature. They were flawed with no redeeming quality about them. Of course, it would be in their nature to force themselves on others. Of course, Pride, the worst of them all would have taken her against her will. I couldn't imagine things to have gone otherwise. He had to have taken her by force. Elpis herself wouldn't have given herself to an abomination like him.
Did he think I didn't know my sister? She had refused so many suitors before him, so many of them who coveted her for her unique beauty and her power? I have witnessed it with my own two eyes, she didn't want anyone and when I asked her about the reasons she wouldn't, she said that « gods are like men, you can't trust them. They are brutal and greedy and I don't want to be with someone who would treat me as if I was some good rather than a person. » She had a point, most gods objectified her and I plead guilty of doing it too. She might have been my sweet sister, she was valuable and desired by all. She soothed my aching soul, quenched my thirst and helped me sleep at night. She made me believe I was worthy of being loved, unlike Ares who clearly wasn't. She made me believe that I could be more than just what I was made to be. I could be more than the god of War. It was a strange feeling I felt for her. I wanted to keep it to myself. I wanted to keep her to myself so I could feel that way for all eternity. It was selfish I know. I was right up there with all the gods she didn't want to be with but I kept deluding myself that because we were siblings and she was used to me, she would have accepted to be mine.
I was wrong, however. She clearly chose him. She chose this abomination and disbelief and panic turned into anger and disgust. Ayasha and I spent time talking about how we could have Elpis see reason. We wanted her to give up on the sin and realize that she was making a mistake. He couldn't love her. He couldn't feel love, he didn't know what it was. He would never. He was a monster. We were gods but he was even worse than Charybdis or Scylla. He was even worse than the Kraken or any other monsters Zeus and his band of degenerates fathered. He wasn't even a god's offspring. How could she choose him over a god like me? I felt insulted, Ayasha made me realize that I was indeed insulted. She ignored the true magnificence of a god to fuck with a less-than-nothing. That was what those sins were to me, good for nothing, wannabe-gods creatures who thought they would actually be granted an existence? I was pissed off, to be very honest and because I felt angry, I wanted to destroy her. I wanted to destroy the sins as well. They had to be gone. So I stabbed her. I cursed her. I forced her to live an eternal cycle of reincarnation because she didn't choose me.
I was jealous and I thought that with her forgotten and gone, I would be able to forget my jealousy and focus on destroying our enemies. A war broke and forced me to slain my brothers. They couldn't understand why I had punished our sister. Wasn't it obvious? She didn't want to marry Leviathan, she didn't want to give up on Pride. She didn't want me. Fortunately for Ayasha and I, many gods sided with us and helped me ambush and destroy the All-Father. I never thought that in the turmoil of the war, I would be able to defeat my father. With the help and sacrifice of many, Ayasha's knowledge about our father's weaknesses, we were able to defeat him. I became the new All-Father, powerful enough to destroy Pantheons if I wanted to. I forced other gods to comply or be punished either by death or torture until they pledged allegiance to me. And they forgot about Elpis. The curse worked well, many didn't remember the reasons we went to war. The All-mother went to Earth and exiled herself there, which I was fine with. Elpis was gone except for Ayasha and my memory.
I kept being tormented with memories of her. I would dream about the night I cursed her and what she told me. She knew what happened, foresaw something I missed and swore to me that she would destroy me once she would set herself free. I still remember how warm she was in my arms, the desire of her that tormented my very nights. I still dreamed about her, the soft voice of hers, the soft flesh of hers and how I wanted to make her mine. Even today, I am torn between wanting to kill her for good or try and make her « change her ways ». Things took an unexpected turn. Her love for Pride made her scratch the seal. She once again came back to everyone memories. Her presence turned those I forced to serve me against me, like Khrön and Sitaa. I know how other gods serving me are giving me dirty looks, those who didn't side with me when the war broke. I can feel their hatred and disgust of me, I can feel they wished they could overthrow me but they can't. I'm the All-Father now. I'm too powerful for that.
She overcame part of the curse, out of love? Out of revenge? I couldn't tell but it was a threat I would rather not have to deal with. I didn't want to see her be the goddess of Despair and influence on my subjects. I however needed to destroy the SINS who remained our mortal enemies. In order to kill Pride and avenge myself for what he took from me, I needed a powerful weapon. One of those wielded by All-fathers of every pantheon. I didn't have my weapon forged yet, but I would begin the work. I would make myself a sword and a shield. I would destroy them and I would punish Elpis.
(TBC)
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