A/N Just a very tender moment because I felt very tender towards them so here you are. And also because this is in my playlist and it made me think of Doya. :
https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=O8DAP_zl9Cw&index=130&list=PL2C2F39E2EAF9E31A
All usual disclaimers
Xxx
Dean searched for Oya. One minute she was with him, enjoying a nice barbecue he was preparing for the two of them and the minute after, she had vanished. Oya never left the kitchen when he was cooking. She might not have been very helpful, she made it clear that she wouldn't leave him alone. So Dean got used to having her around, passing the ingredients and helping him with coffee and such. She was always around, singing when she was in a good mood or brooding when she wasn't but still around. Not seeing her was Dean's cue that something happened and she retreated somewhere to either cry or scream or punch something. Oya was still -just like him- learning how
to share her feelings and he still was learning how to handle them. He went to the garage but she wasn't there, so he went to her room, in hopes of finding her there but it was empty -clean however-. Dean didn't panic easy, of course, whenever he didn't find Oya after he searched through the whole bunker and she wasn't around or left a message, he always was wondering if she was safe or if anything happened to her. Whenever he texted and she didn't text back or if he hadn't heard from her for a while, yes, of course, Dean would be worried. But it had only been an hour top and the bunker was a rather safe place.
So she was alright. She had to be alright. He looked at Sam's room, finding his brother who was reading a book and informed him that he heard Oya walk towards « their » room. Dean didn't react to that little tease. He knew all too well that Sam meant he was well aware of what was going on between the two of them and frankly, jokes like these made the relationship something even more normal and not to be afraid of.As he opened the door of their room, he found Oya sat on their bed. She didn't seem to be unhinged or worried. Actually, she was calm and relaxed. Her small curvy frame fitted just right in the landscape, -his own room- and immediately put him at ease. She seemed okay, more than okay actually. Oya eyes were half closed as she was relaxing in the room. He carefully closed the door behind him and leaned against the front door. Waiting for Oya to notice him. She did, she had actually when he opened the door. Smiling at Dean, she slowly opened her eyes and gently patted the mattress next to her.
« Come sit next to me Dean. » She said patting the bed again. He didn't hesitate and sat on the bed next to her. «There there. » She said, gently running the back of her hand over his stubbled cheek. He smiled and her and leaned into her touch, his nose rubbing against her warm palm.
« I have been looking out for you. It's time to grill the meat. I thought you were hungry. »
« I am. Can't you hear my tummy growl? I am starving! » She said patting her taut belly. He grinned at her and bent forward to kiss her cheek.
« Then come to the kitchen and let's grill that meat. I didn't hear you sneak out of the kitchen. »
« I didn't sneak out !! I was... I just wanted to take a minute. » She said, fanning herself before she pushed herself further into the bed. Her hand patted her lap. « Come lay on me Dean, for a minute. Lay your head there. I have to say something. »
« Yes, ma'am. »
He didn't really know what Oya wanted to say, especially since it all felt so formal, but the African hunter didn't even wait for him to comply, she gently pushed him towards her lap and helped him rest his head against the softness of her legs. She felt warm, she was soft and while it wasn't a position they usually used, it definitely was welcomed. It was like in those telenovelas Dean loved to watch so he knew she was about to say something romantic. Oya was a big softie. She might not have admitted it out loud but she was a big romantic at heart. Dean always caught her when they both were watching tv novelas that she invested a lot of emotions in the love stories going on. He noticed when she was holding his hand out of the blue in public or when she stole a kiss from him when they were on the job and in his car.
He noticed the loving way she was staring at him when she thought he wasn't looking and heard her whisper how much she loved him when she thought he was sleeping. He noticed that she always made sure to bring him something from her solo hunts, be it her ugly aprons OR something more into what he liked. A weapon, usually knives. Things of beauty since she loved to go to antique shops and had the money to assume such an expense. It also could have been something less
expensive, like a pie, or a DVD, but of all her gifts, it certainly was the very first one he loved the most. Her necklace. She sculpted and cast a protective spell on it. She made this thing for him, out of love. He couldn't ask for a better gift than this one and the memories attached to this moment were the best he actually had in a while. She took him out, planned the whole day just to make him happy and seeing her excited and happy and a little nervous warmed his heart. He never took that gift off, not even when they had sex because it meant everything for Dean. Wearing it, somehow, was a testimony of his own feelings for her, something that even if his words failed to come out, Oya would always know how he feels about her because he'd keep wearing the necklace. His head rested well on her lap and he looked up to her face from below.
« Dean... Have you ever stopped to think that you're lucky or something? » She asked, her strong yet delicate fingers ran through his hair, gently massaging his scalp as she spoke. He enjoyed the feel of her fingers and smiled at her. She was soft tonight, more than usual but he wouldn't complain.
« Yeah. Sometimes when I'm driving baby and the road is clear so I can really enjoy my ride. Or.. when Sammy came back from the dead the first time.. and all the other times. » His eyes became somber as those memories weren't welcomed. He did feel relieved that his brother wasn't condemned to damnation, or wasn't Lucifer's vessel anymore, or wasn't dead anymore. He felt more than relieved. It felt as if he was allowed to breathe again and live again. « Or when I'm with you. » He said, anticipating her words. He knew she wanted to tell him that she was lucky to be with him and that she loved him and as much as Dean always felt overwhelmed when she did so and surprised she still did despite the crappy life he had to offer her -He could have given her better than what he did, but it was the job and both were used to that crappy aspect of life
« Dean ?... » She was caught off guard. It wasn't so much about what he said, or his feelings for her. It was the fact he felt this way for her and SAID SO. It was a small and short-lived shock but it was enough to bring a grin on Dean's face.
« Gotcha! You were about to say that, weren't you? I've noticed you always say things first, I wanted to switch it around. » Her lips trembled and she gave him a sheepish smile. He knew she was blushing given how crooked her smile was and the way her eyes became warm and she quickly covered her face with the hand that wasn't massaging his scalp. « Ahaha Oya you don't have to hide your face. Is it that surprising to you? »
« I am lucky you love me, Dean... I don't think you understand how it feels to have someone who shares your feelings. I don't know.. I never.. » She fanned herself and exhaled.
Dean furrowed his brows and gently cupped her cheek with his large hand. His thumb stroked her cheek but he held it strongly. She wanted to say so much to him. How she never really fell in love until she met him. How much space he was taking in her heart and mind. How she believed she wouldn't recover from a potential breakup or his death. How much alive he made her feel and how much she wanted to wake up to him every day. She wanted to say all of that and so much more. She was broken, she was possessive, she was jealous, she was convinced her love was hurting him when all wasn't smooth. She had nightmares and still woke him up at night with her screaming and kicking. She still was scared of being alone and kept talking to him or overwhelming him with texts. She was angry and extremely vocal about it too.
She didn't think she was making him happy enough or simply was enough for him all of that was noise in her head. It was noise because she did make him happy, maybe too much. All that love and attention and sweet banter, a little burst of jealousy here and there was quite a lot to adjust to for Dean too. It was there, loud and fierce and even if he tried to blink it out of existence, Dean knew he
couldn't. She was there, present in his heart and mind too, eating all the space there. She was there, giving him love, real love because she knew about his job. She knew about some of the darkest moment of his life and she stayed. She knew what terrible decisions he made in order to save Sam or Castiel. Many of his actions were questionable but she understood him. She told him that it was a dick move, but she would have done the very same to protect either of them. Hell, they had a tendency to sacrifice their lives to save loved ones, so of course, she would have given hers if it was called for. He would have done the same but until Oya arrived, he never questioned the aftermath. It never occurred to him that she might actually be more hurt by his sacrifice than by him being alive. He wouldn't come home to her and he did promise her he would. They promised each other they wouldn't sacrifice their lives and do all they could to come back home to each other. Dean thought about it, almost every day, even though he never brought that backup. She gave him a reason to come home. A reason to stay alive and that, oh god, that was something he didn't count on. She chewed on her bottom lip and sighed deeply at his contact.
« You are very cute Oya. Even now. » He said, pausing for a minute. « You keep thanking me for loving you and all of that but frankly. I don't think you have to. You don't have to thank me for that. It's just the way I feel. Thank me for saving your ass but not for feeling that way with you. »
« I can't help. » She said, gently stroking the back of his hand. « You might feel like you're not giving me enough but you are Dean.. more than you can ever imagine. I thought I knew what love was, I thought I understood what it was but until I loved you... I never knew. I'm grateful I met you for everything we do together and beyond. » She said, wiping out a tear from her eye. « Now, I know what it is to be loved. It's not flowers every day, it's not extravagant gifts. It's not saying I love you every second.... it's not..it's not pretending. You don't pretend Dean. You feel and you show. Don't think I haven't noticed your small gestures. Don't think I don't see how you're loving me » And she felt emotional again. Dean straightened up and sat on the bed, his hands cupped her cheeks before he pulled her into a tight hug. It always got him. Oya was indeed very expressive and those tears.. she only cried in front of him and to have her be so willing to be so vulnerable in front of the hunter had the Winchester brother feel all kind of weird and fuzzy inside. She was his opposite on many things but he appreciated that she voiced her feelings that easily.
« There, there Oya... NO need to get all emotional and ruin my shirt with your tears. » He joked, patting her back and gently stroking it. « I'm learning a few things about that whole relationship thingy too..I guess we both need to adjust to what we never truly had before eh? » He said, rubbing her back to soothe her up. She still cried but wasn't sobbing, instead, it was just a quiet stream of tears of relief. « I don't like it when you cry. » He added, his fingers getting lost into her curls.
« You're a dick! We were having a moment here! » She said gently hitting his shoulder before she pulled away and wiped out some more tears. « I just wanted to take a minute and think about how happy you made me. Watching you cook for me, a barbecue nonetheless, and looking this relaxed is what makes me happy too. In between our hunts, it's you being you...You being free. » She said as she entwined her fingers with his. Dean pulled them against his lips for a kiss and then bent forward to kiss her lips.
« You're a big softie. Who would have thought that shorty had such a big sentimental heart? » He teased her, feeling a little awkward at her big words. He had wanted to say something similar to her, but Dean wasn't so much a man of words than a man of action. Those feelings took time for him to process and form coherent thoughts he could verbally say. Love wasn't his strong suit and if he could speak, he would tell her that letting her close was as much needed as it was feared. He wanted her, more of her, all of her everyday and everytime but this need of her he couldn't do without was followed by the fear of losing her, of losing it, these moments of pure joy when he got to cook for both of them and watch her dance or sing or be silly to entertain him. Those moments when she
sang songs she wrote for the two of them or she bargained everything for a kiss of his. Those moments when they both leaned into each other and watched Netflix.He realized that he wanted more of these moments in his life, but wanting more when you were a hunter never proved to be the right thing. She made him happy, far beyond than anything she could imagine and he still kept at the back of his head -and knew she also did, otherwise she wouldn't worry like she did- that the universe hated him and could take all of that away.
Oya brought him peace like he brought her but Peace and Winchester didn't always go hand in hand and he knew that someday the Universe would make him pay for every second of happiness he stole from them. So be it, he would steal as much as he could and would protect Oya with all he had. So be it, She would enjoy every second of real happiness and would do her best to protect the love of her life. They might be « cursed » or whatever ridiculous Fate labeled them, they would fight tooth and nail to protect the bond they had.
(TBC)
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