(SoA)
"I feel safe."
I uttered those words as she had her arms wrapped around my frame. They didn't come easily to me.I never truly felt safe in my life up until this day. Since I arrived at Charming, I always looked past my shoulder in search for danger. I always paid attention to details because if anything felt odd, chances were that Oscar was following me.
Every step I took forward, I took several backward because I couldn't plan my future. Every time I tried to open up and bond with others, I couldn't because their lives could be in danger. Ever since my brother was murdered.... I thought I never would feel safe again.
But she made me feel this way. I cannot describe or explain how she did that. We weren't the best of friends when we met, I was prejudiced, she was guarded. I learned to know her through the eyes of her now-husband Jax Teller. If he hadn't come to my shop and ask for inks, I would never have met her. Funny how Destiny works eh?
She didn't moonwalk into my life, she crashed opened the walls I have built around myself. I thought I had it under control but I didn't. I fell for her, for this friendship of ours that blossomed over the year we spent together. And little by little, she brought pieces of herself to my broken castle. A stone here, a stone there and now that I can finally take a look back, we made ourselves a pretty kick-ass lair! a superhero lair!
"You do?" she asked. I nodded quietly and she pressed her lips on top of my forehead. "Good, that's how it's supposed to be. You, feeling safe by my sides."
"I don't think you understand just how important it is," I said, teasing her and leaning my chin on her shoulder. she laughed.
"OH, honey. I know more than you think I do. You and I are kinfolks. Wolves that had been cornered and lived to survive. We believed we weren't made for anything else than bite and claw to keep standing. We weren't used to genuine trust were we?" I nodded and leaned my forehead against her shoulder again. "And yet, here we are. Here I am...I never stopped fighting, but I'm sure as hell done living to survive. I live to live. Jax gave me that. genuine trust and love. A place to call home, a family of our own. He somehow had me grounded but NOT on a leash. You know what I'm saying?" I nodded once again. "I'm still a wolf Azz. I'm still very capable of running into the wilderness once again and live like I used to, but I don't want to. I want to stay here and write I love you's. I want to make him wake up in the morning and enjoy the minute of silence by his sides. I want to kiss him goodbye every single day and kiss him welcome home. I trust him. I trust us and that is priceless, coming from someone like me. So yeah! I know what you're saying when you say you feel safe."
"Geez! And now you're speaking Shakespear to me again!" I teased her and let my hand rub her belly. "I love you, Jess. I cannot word it the way I want to. But I am grateful you came into my life. I feel like I'm finally starting to live and not survive."
"Wait until everything is over and Tig comes back so you can really live." She chuckled and kissed the top of my head again as I laid there next to her. I felt safe.
I feel safe.
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