Patience, I am running out of it. (part 1)

I have learned two things, growing up.

Patience is most likely to be taught to girls at an early age. Patience has been attached to the gender so much that transgender people identifying as women, do give into this trope that a woman should be demure. She should always take the time to listen to the other, do the emotional labor for them, be understanding if the other (especially men) can't or won't open-up, soften-up, take their needs and desires into consideration. "Be patient, you know him. he's always a little hot-blooded", "be patient, your turn will come.", " a woman's virtue is her patience" (or some derivative bullshit). Women are less likely allowed to NOT be patient because then, they become hysterical.

They become bitchy, bossy, angry (must be their periods eh?). They become unhinged and have to be tamed. Because this is un-ladylike. This has to be stopped, this is scary. "nobody would love you Hunny if you get angry all the time" or "if you're always this impatient, it will be difficult to trust/give you something/ listen to you/etc..". A man (or people who identify as such) would more likely be listened to. An angry man usually has a reason to be angry. "He's just an honest guy. If he gets mad, it's because something unfair happened to him". You'll never hear the words "hysterical" or "Bitchy" if a man gets angry. Anger sometimes tends to be glamorized if it's from a male perspective. It often can be tied to "justice" or "heroism". The male character would suffer from an incredible trauma (usually, the death of the family) or an injustice (he was kicked out of his job despite working his ass for decades.) The character would be in his right to be angry. Audiences would connect to him because male anger (carried over by the protagonist) is relatable! Sadly enough, it also is for a female audience since we've been taught to glorify the justified anger of our heroes.

A woman, however, could never. She would always be wittier, softer, kinder than her male counterpart (unless we're in a fetish power fantasy which had female characters empowered but basically not allowed to be nuanced and have flaws). She wouldn't get angry because she's somewhat "Smarter" than the males and shouldn't resort to pure raw anger. This is a trend I call bullshit and that should stop, freaking stop. Unfortunately, why do you think this transpired to today's world and societies? We don't have to go too far to understand why. Take for example some of the women who were forced into mental institutions. Some of them were sent there because they were "hysterical" when most of the time, they just had an attitude about them. A desperate need for freedom, the guts to express their anger and derive from the norm. They were sent there to be re-assessed and forced to act like the other ladies, the "proper" ladies.

We don't have to go too far to read in the cesspool of sexist assholes you can find on the internet, to see how they react to a female in power. They feel emasculated, threatened, angry because these women have the nerves to be commanding, at times angry at them for their incompetence and just behave the way any other boss would. Why do you think rape fantasies where female characters in power are dehumanized, humiliated and brought down to their knees exist? Because anger and ultimately power in a female don't sit well with people whose model had always been patriarchy.
but the second lesson I learned, is even more frustrating.