COPG: love

He was the best of the best, the first and most powerful Sin. Superbia, her Superbia. He was the reason she was cursed in the first place, forced to be forgotten by those who ever knew her, and forced to enter a cycle of reincarnation. 

He was the best of the best, the first and superior Sin: Pride.  Her Pride. Elpis was grateful she had a chance to meet him again in another life. She was happy both of them were able to keep their words and was delighted to see that in this life just like in the other, she still could fall in love with him. Pride was her everything. He was her king. 

Elpis and Pride were just at the beginning of their rampage. They were ambitious, power-hungry, and relentless and they were magnificent. 

Doya: Motel Breakdown

 Doya: Motel Breakdown

A/N: I just felt for these two. 

Xxxxx

As soon as they arrived at the motel room, Dean stayed in the car so he could contact Crowley and Oya was left in the room with their bags, so she could call Castiel and discuss with him, Pluto. Crowley taunted Dean, as usual, but he didn't like the sound of a pagan god trying to steal his thunder so he agreed to help Team Free Will.  Castiel on the other hand quickly agreed to look more into Pluto but before Oya could hang up the phone, he decided to ask her about her state of mind. He had been there, he had seen her fear and despair as she was slowly fading away. He was wary of her trying to destroy the pagan god because he knew how reckless Oya could be, especially when it was a personal matter. Her phone call with Castiel was shortened by Oya who didn't want to speak her heart. She ended up throwing her phone on the bed and walked in circles when Dean pushed the door open with some burgers in a bag. He looked at the ebony hunter who looked at him with eyes wide open. 

« What's going on ? »

« Nothing. I was waiting for you. » -She said, but her tone betrayed her concerns and had the older Winchester come closer to her. He put the burgers on the desk near their beds and put his hands on Oya's shoulders. She rolled her head but stopped pacing. Her hazel eyes averted from his face to his shoulders. « What is it? »

« Something's off.  You're pissed off. » -He noticed how her lips were trembling and realized that she had been worked up from her conversation with Castiel.- « Did Castiel say something? » 

« I'm fine. » -But Oya wasn't convinced with her own words. Dean shrugged and crossed his arms above his chest. She knew he didn't believe her, which made her roll her eyes and walk away from him. - »Although, we did have a conversation about Pluto and... what happened back then, the whole saving me from certain death. »

« I'm listening. » Dean's features softened because he realized that she was willing to talk. Oya turned her back on him, as she sometimes did when she wasn't really comfortable with what she would say next. He was patient, so he simply went and sat on the bed, a few feet away from her. He caught the faint 'thank you' she whispered to him, which helped him relax a little more.

« I think it's not fair, you know? To have been raised all my life with no fear for death and to find myself begging to survive...because I couldn't afford to die» -The first words made her cringe and she hanged her head in shame. « I begged for my life Dean... » She said shrugging. 

He didn't say anything, feeling that she wasn't done talking just yet, but Dean had curled his fingers into balls, knowing all too well the emotions that went through Oya's head. She had been raised to be a ruthless hunter, one who would rather die to save people than run away from a hunt. Her encounter with Pluto messed her up and knowing Oya, there were probably things she didn't admit to herself or didn't tell anyone. The revelation that she had begged for her life went through his body like a crushing tsunami but he didn't reject her words, for he himself, had been on both sides of losing someone. His jaw tightened and his face turned colder as flashes went through his mind, plucking away the repressed memories he had of watching Sam die, Oya die and being the one to give up his life, and witnessing the distress of his younger brother. It broke his heart to see it, so many times that he grew numb over the years. 

« I'm not angry because I did it, I have a life for myself, people who care about me. I have a family again and it's something I really really love. » She then turned around to face him. « But, going after Pluto has been taking a toll on me. I just felt powerless when we faced each other. He literally wiped the floor with me. » She said, almost gagging at her own words. 

« I understand how you feel. I had my fair share of doubts while facing enemies. I had my fair share of loss too. Oya, look, right now we're not going against him. » 

His voice tried to be reassuring, at least enough to help her relax. She bit her bottom lip and rolled her head, trying to hold back her tears. Oya hated it, this feeling of vulnerability. She'd tried her best to face her fears, even in the face of something she was scared of like the asanbosam. She'd been reckless, always, when it came to fighting those monsters who wronged her. So there was a mix of anger, anxiety, and blinding rage that worked against her. Dean was right, they weren't going after the god just yet, not when Oya was so reckless and they had no plan laid just yet. Still, the looming presence of the god was slowly but surely working its way up her head and induced some anxiety at the idea of confronting him.

« You spoke with Castiel, did he say something? » Dean asked again, He was now certain that the angel did. Cas always made sure to ask the right questions, even if the other party wasn't ready to hear them and in this case, he did ask Oya if she was ready because he was afraid of her recklessness. 

« He did. He wanted to know if I was ready to fight the Pagan God. I was upset when he asked because I was afraid to truly answer the question. » She watched as the tall old Winchester brother stood up and walked towards her. He put both hands on her shoulders and started to massage them. « Dean... »

« What did you say? » His voice, stern but kind. She swallowed a lump and shook her head. 

« I told him I wasn't ready yet. When we left the bunker I thought I was, but then we heard on the radio the sightings and I lost my shit in the car. I thought that a plan would help me calm down but it didn't. Castiel was right to ask the question, but I feel ashamed to not have the answer I'd hope for. » She admitted and then wrapped her arms around his waist as he pulled her into a tight hug. 

« I don't blame you. It happened just a few months ago. Pluto is a son of a bitch, stronger than we expected but we're smarter and organized. We have allies. » He then cupped both of her cheeks and stroked them with his thumb. « And I'm here now. You're not doing this alone. »

« I know... I'm not alone anymore. » She gave him a coy smile and then leaned her head against his touch. « I know you understand me... I know you've been through this shit with Lucifer...How did you find the strength to fight him ? »

« I did it for Sammy. I had to rescue him and if I was too late, then I was ready to kill him so he could be saved. » He then paused at his words and leaned his forehead against hers. « I don't want the thing that happened with the Asanbosam to start again with Pluto. For Chuck's sake, I nearly lost you once. Don't make me go through this again, okay? » She nodded and chewed at her bottom lip.

« I don't intend to...I'm sorry Dean. I'm so sorry. » She said wrapping her arms around his shoulders and hugging him tightly. « I'm so sorry.. we should probably eat before those burgers get cold, right ?»

« Uh... damn right ! »

It was just the beginning of a long conversation the two would have about loss, fear, and the anger that always came with the situation she'd been through. Dean knew that they had barely scratched the surface and given his partner, now that he had made her speak her truth, Oya would gradually open to him and discuss her emotions and mental state.  He might not be able to help completely, but he was willing to try, any day, any time. 

-TBC-

Regular GoT: shots of love

 My dear Golden Lion, I remember the day you told me that you were impressed that after all this time, suffering from the vileness of mankind, I still retained hope. I still saw the world for everything it was able to give. I remember I was surprised when you told me that because to me it didn't seem that way. It took a while before I started to see things differently from the Long Night. Do you remember how I was ready to die?  I thought I only had value in a warrior's death but I was mistaken. 

My world was grey before you came to me and slapped some sense into me. You brought the colors back.  you brought the colours back and it stayed with me. 

We are going to face a lot together, and I know that in the end, we might not get what we actually want, but I want to Try. I want to give it my all because there is not a life where I wouldn't want to be with you. it simply doesn't exist for you are my life, you are my world, in this life or another.  

xxxxx

I would give these two the world. I would give these two my everything. I remember looking at them whenever I could, catching the small glances and the subtle smiles as they were attracted towards one another like magnets.  I remembered the warmth I felt upon learning they finally trusted one another and gave me another chance at Life. 

In a world where I had lost everything, I suddenly found a family. I suddenly found people who cared for me and would give everything to help me should I need it.  I don't think you'd understand how it is, to go from an orphan to someone who found a home, to bond with people who understand loss better than anyone. To bond with people who would never give up on you. I found this and I would never stop loving them. 

xxxxxx

I believe in second chances and we have both deserved it. Long before we met, we both experienced something traumatic. You've lost and loved and crumbled but always kept moving forward. I remember the knight I met, long before the Long Night. You were the shadow of your past-self, or so I was told. You were supposed to be a man who had lost everything, from his honour to the love of the people to even his own future. you had lost everything to Death and yet you still came. I was baffled by the sight of you, left dumbfounded and smitten over you. Yes, I think it probably was this moment Fate chose to bring us together, the moment you stole our first kiss. you lost so much, Jaime, that I believe you deserve a second chance at life. you deserve to be proud, to be happy, to be loved above all else.  and It is an honour to love you, with all I have. it is an honour to adore you. it is an honour to be with you. 

mordern GoT Visery x Kyra: what did she want?

 What the hell did this woman want? he was wondering. The Dragon - such a fitting title- didn't really understand what was going on. From his innocuous call at Christmas to the moment when Life became harder for him to deal with, the second son of Aerys II needed a break. His feet took him closer to her place and his hands had him take his phone once again to call the blonde beauty. Viserys needed to talk to Kyra. He felt the visceral need to hear her voice, to be appeased by the soft rhythm with which she spoke. He didn't quite know what was going to happen when he went to her place. After all, they still had a lot to unpack. 

Dornes had been a mistake -but more than that, it had been him showcasing his unpredictability and violence-. Dornes had revealed the extent (or so they thought) of his impulses and his jealous nature. Dornes had revealed his ugliness. He was convinced that she wouldn't want to see him again, let alone give him a second chance and what did happen the first minutes he found her? well, they talked, of course. they tapped danced around the bush, avoiding the elephant in the room. He was clearly upset, after all, it was his father's death anniversary very soon, his sister had been even stricter since she argued with Bäahal and his half-sister made him upset. His hand spoke to him, a slap happened when he didn't mean it. -or did he?-. he couldn't face either of Bäahal or Daenerys and was certain Kyra would trash him -rightfully so- but she didn't. 

Instead... Instead, she spoke about how she couldn't get him off of her mind and how she didn't want to run away from him when she should have. she refused to say the words that could free her from him, she refused to reject him and he was left speechless. rendered utterly speechless by her behavior. what could he do? if not let his heart speak for him? what could he do, if not showing her he cared and wanted her? what could he do, if not steal a kiss, maybe two?  what did she want? what did she truly want?  perhaps as she said, the Dragon himself. Perhaps as he thought, danger. Perhaps as he wished, his love as well. 

Got Modern Jaime x Bäahal : Falling for him

 Seeing him angry for the first time since they met, had somehow messed up Bäahal. She had never seen him like this, angry at the way her sister treated her, angry at the way she responded to it. Angry at the way she didn't see her value. Most of the people she'd met before wouldn't even care about her feelings, but Jaime did. It would have been easy to consider his anger as unjustified but the heiress knew he was right to be angry. 

She had been mortified to hear that Bronn had called him to talk about what happened at Highgarden and what he wanted to do to her. The moment Jaime mentioned it, the moment the silver head wanted to open up a hole and die there. It couldn't be, yet it was. shame overwhelmed her, anger, and while she did confront her sister later that week, she could still remember the heavyweight that fell upon her shoulders. Yet, there was more to it than just an angry fit. Jaime cared, he genuinely did and that day, something inside her just clicked.  something inside of her just had her wanting to stay with him, something made her heart quiver at the thought that perhaps... she was feeling far more than she let on. 

Jaime wasn't a one-night stand. he wasn't someone she'd just meet and fuck. Jaime was someone that meant to her more than she understood at this point. she wanted to spend time with him, yes, but she also cared about his opinion -on things and her especially-, she wanted to make him happy for her, proud of her. she found herself asking for his permission to stay all night long with him -permission he actually gave since he let her in, but still, it had to be verbalized-. She found herself wishing he let her in, so she would have a safe haven for a couple days, far away from family. far away from her troubles, and a chance at dealing with his anger. the very first he had for her/ not against her.  She wanted a chance to sleep in his arms, far away from the world where they would be the only two souls. she needed the safety of his arms, the warmth of his body, the softness of his lips. she needed him... she wanted him..; could it be that she was falling for him?

MOET: Love Grows

Love Grows,

I don't believe in love at first sight, such a thing doesn't exist for me.

I believe love takes time and it's both a certainty and a constant discovery.

I believe that love grows, and it has to be nurtured over time.

I grew to love the sweet smile you have when you don't assume your next joke.

I grew to love the sparkle of passion in your eyes when you're talking about films.

I grew to love you in spite of the stubbornness you sometimes showcase.

It's a long process, I see it now.

I surprise me, thinking of you at the most uncanny times,

I would make a sandwich and wish you were there to taste it with me.

I would find myself thinking of the feeling I have when you stroke my arm.

I would plan future trips with you, to the museum, to the stadium, anywhere really.

Because all I would see would be the smile on your face as we get there.

All I would think of would be the warmth of your embrace and yours heartbeats.

It's a long process, I see it now.

Love grows, Love takes time. It's an endless hike when you think of it.

Love slowly fills up your heart, and in a blink of an eye you've built something.

You've built a home inside someone else's heart, they've built theirs inside you too

They anchor you to this world, center you in this life, and chose you too.

I guess that's the beauty of it, to have someone who trusts you this much too.

Love grows, Love takes time and I could never imagine my life without you.

From those annoying little things I ended up loving too, to the things I love you for.

You're my ordinary extraordinary other half and I love that about you.

I love the fact you see me too, the real me, the one a very few know.

You're my extraordinary ordinary Love, the one who can make everyday life a movie

A quiet adventure, or a safety blanket at times, you're my everything.

Love grows, Love takes time and I am glad we took what we needed.

I love that our texts turned into long phone calls -yes, phone calls I avoid at all cost-

I love that our long phone calls turned into me staying with you, sleeping next to you.

I didn't believe in love at first sight, it never existed for me.

However, I realized that true love is like a tree that needs to grow slowly.

It takes its roots into your heart and slowly grow into a majestuous tree

and I couldn't be happier, no, I'm truly happy.

I am, because you chose me.

Zack Snyder's justice league review, spoilers

Alright, bear with me for a while.

Those past few days, one of the things that really made me happy was to see people who weren't sensitive to Zack's way of storytelling, actually pick up things, mostly the symbolism part, and enjoying this movie. I love watching discussions about superheroes (from the big two to the third parties) and especially have them discuss personalities, struggles, victories, and the likes.

I can appreciate Snyder, Nolan, sometimes Shyamalan, or even Tarantino filmmaking because they make films that aren't following a formula nor are made into standard movies. their movies make you think and are always multilayered. (to this day I'm still discussing Inception and whether or not Cobb's dreaming, the hateful eight also have a piece of wonders, regarding Samuel L. Jackson's character, etc..)

I've loved Man of Steel and I remember the pieces I wrote explaining why I loved his Kal-El (the immigrant experience, which I share with him. Him being literally a god but immensely human too (and frankly when you know his creation and all the little details surrounding it -did you know EL meant God in Hebrew? did you know that Kal meant either Voice or Ship? did you also know that the Nazi in 1940 did see him as a Jewish superhero given he was very Jewish-coded? when I write a piece about him, I will share the sources I found in a very nice article about it.) He wasn't perfect, he was just starting, he had to choose between the old ways (or traditions of his birth culture and in his case a civilization made of conquerors) or the ways he was raised with (or the civilization of his adoptive parents/ the country he lived in). He was a man who was living a life made of challenges -inner conflicts, outside conflicts- and yet he still CHOSE to do the right thing. yes, he made mistakes (but in superman 2 he also did fucking kill Zod, so what's that argument anyway?) and it was done with pain. yes, I know the consequences weren't "showed" but, I guessed that he dealt with it and decided to do better from now on.

I loved BVS and all the little things it said about the characters he introduced. Again, you understood that Batman crossed the line, mostly due to a traumatic event that broke him down so much that all the unaddressed traumas in his life (cue, his family's death) couldn't be tucked down in his heart. he just snapped. and it was his journey from the old, tired, disillusioned man who had one too many bad days towards redemption and the light. he achieved it by the end of the film because he was inspired, he was confronted with his own loss of humanity and regained it come to the end of the film. (and the filter does tell that story too. since at the end of the movie, "colors" return). Wonder Woman, also inspired by Superman, came back to the world once again and was so effin good during the short screentime she had that I wanted more of her.

JL... JL was a feast. Without spoiling too much for those who have not seen it, it was a journey.

It was a movie about second chances, redemption, rebirth, and grief. there was so much diversity in it (we saw a lot of different ethnicities taking front and center and filmed respectfully. ) it was a movie about gods who walked among humans (the DC comics always had that vibe) BUT who are extremely humans too. (thus, flawed).

Batman's arc was so beautiful. we had him operating on faith, we had him opening up to others, we had him healing from the trauma he had been through, with companionship, selflessness, and Hope. the epilogue scene was so beautiful when you realize that the manor is under construction, we're in Autumn, the lake is calm (cause water is such a BIG element in those movies), he's at peace with himself, finally. someone said rightfully so, that he fulfilled a promise he made and gathered people not out of anger or grief or revenge, but out of hope. Besides, he's so boss when he fights! like;... he's the most batman that will ever Batman. besides at various point others rally around him to protect him (cause he's the non-meta, an only human person there, so the most vulnerable) and at the end, superman just pulls him up so he could join the other gods (the new gods that are the justice league). he's their equal, despite his humanity and because of it. that made me tear up.

Gotham City also has a personality in this movie... so much so that I wanted a Ben Affleck movie about Batman and Gotham... for Yesterday!

Lois Lane also had her little arc about grief. every scene she was in there was rain (up until Superman came back to life, then the rain had stopped, the ground was wet but she was moving forward, finally accepting to 'come back to the living', more at peace with herself and the idea that she would never see him again). She also anchors Superman to his humanity as soon as they see each other again. (and saves Batman from him, like she saved Clark from him in BVS). I loved her arc, mostly because that was intimate, elegant, sweet, and respectful.

Superman: needless to remind that this is literally Jesus's story, right? but aside from the obvious, (you know, the butterfly which are symbols for rebirth? the sky color which reminded us we were at dawn, the fact he was looking back at the swing from when he was a kid? what we got instead was a man at peace with himself finally embracing everything about him. the most vibrant moment of this was when he was preparing to fly again. this time with words from both of his fathers, pushing him through and forward. and then he took off and then we have this renaissance painting vibe when he's in outer space, gorging himself with the sun. with the beautiful music that reminded us of Flight in MoS. I don't know why some people refuse to see that he's far more than just muscles and had been portrayed as far more than this but, okay I guess?

Wonder Woman: I'm sorry but have you seen the lore we got for her? we saw her culture, we saw diversity, we saw her sisterhood. we saw her be both fierce and without compromise, (during fights), adventurous and clever (please more of Lara Croft Wonder Woman), confident, respected (nobody objectified her, nobody questioned her words as well and people listened to her), she was strong in a physical way, strong emotionally as well, and yet, kind (the scene at the bank afterward? in all of her interactions with her teammates as well). she had her struggles and mentioned them, but unlike the others who were trying to figure it out and had just started to figure themselves out, she was already ahead of them. in this rare place between regrets and doubts yet confident enough to move forward and try. she was trying. you could tell (and she was clumsy while doing it. cue scenes with Bruce at the computer and Alfred and the tea). Her new theme is so much more badass and organic! albeit, I can understand why some people would be irritated to hear it over and over again. I loved it because it was different each time. the way they sang it wasn't the same :) conveying different emotions :D

Aquaman: He wasn't that much here, but we could see his struggle. have you noticed how the sea outside (so not his underwater scenes) was agitated. he was drinking which indicated he was trying to numb his wild emotions. the guy wasn't at peace at all. After all, he's a bi-ethnic man, with one of the sides being superpowered. not accepted anywhere and with an absentee mother. he was rejecting his responsibilities because he wasn't connected to these people and was still angry at what happened to him. (he never asked for any of this) and you see him take responsibility, care for his fellow teammates (he is the one who shows a lot of empathy for Victor, for the villagers and concerns about the rest too), NOT SOME DUDEBRO, I was so happy that he wasn't. besides the song used for him (It goes there's a king and a kingdom etc;.) was very fitting... melancholic, close to how he was feeling at this moment. and at the end, you can see that the water next to him is very calm.. as if Arthur was appeased and ready to move forward (which he did anyway). I'm so happy many people noticed too :D

Flash: He was.. oh he was so touching. this funny, kind, caring, and awkward person. you know, speaking a lot to hide his anxiety -at least he was coded as neurodivergent to me and having anxiety which led to him speaking this fast and having a hard time connecting with people-, he was Brave, determined, I legit cried when he got shot and had to do his mini-flashpoint. his relationship with his father, the hope, the perseverance, the unbridled joy when he was able to have "his foot in it". I love how they respected him and didn't go "Ewww weirdo" because he's probably neurodivergent. they just took him in and that's it. he understands his powers, so he's not looking into mastering them, his arc wasn't so much about him as a meta-human but more about Barry Allen. what that man could do, (not if he could do it), why he would it, who he is. we got a glimpse of it and I want more now.

Cyborg: Okay, phew... first of all... he's the heart of this movie okay? there are so many things to say about him but he's a good-hearted kid okay? selfless and boss as hell. He's a stand-in for people with physical disabilities (Zack said so), who are often seeing their agencies reduced by able-bodied people. they are often seen as less, as "broken" (like in the movie), and helpless. Victor's journey is so fantastic. he went from self-loathing, self-imposed isolation, anger/ issues with his father (who was an absentee father, too engrossed with his work) to someone who worked through the pain to understand the body he was in, make his situation "his" and own his life and destiny. he had all this power in the world and what does he do when he first uses it? he helps others. he was willing to sacrifice himself to save the world. he's as heroic as they get and he inspires his other teammates too. he's a hero, he's their equal in all the senses in the world and visually you can see his transformation. (yes, bits by bits because you can't heal in one big swipe of the finger. Healing takes time and for him, we can visually see it since his armor isn't completed. at the end of the movie, his head is held high, he smiles and he flies.)

I used to be Steppenwolf (at least when I was working at this horrible place. always trying to please the boss and former supervisor before I became their supervisor) and only to be disrespected by them like Steppy was. I loved him here, I felt for him so much. I loved Darkseid, (I mean... he was done justice here), I loved Desaad as well and wish we could see more of Granny goodness.

Maybe next time, I'll tell you all the little things we see when it comes to Darkseid and the almost-religion of Hell that comes with him in the very short scenes we saw (cause he gave me king vibe and god vibes and it's fitting since he's a god and a king too)

Well, all that was just to say that the movie is multilayered, comic book accurate, an experience to live. something I am very happy I got to see and sad we won't be seeing anytime soon. :)

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Elpis x pride : mood piece - WE ARE

Elpis x pride : mood piece - WE ARE

« I am the daughter of Gaea, the next in line to become the New- all-Mother. I am the goddess of Light and Hope and I am hungry. I am eager to get my revenge on my pantheon, but more than this, I am eager to go further with you. I want to explore the universe, I want to see its wonders. I have heard so many things about outer space, notably about the potential alien races and alien gods you and I could defeat. Isn't it exciting?

You are the Sin of all the seven sins. The king of the Underworld and the king of Darkness. You also are the love of my life, Superbia. I am in awe in front of you, of all you've accomplished and how devouring that ambition of yours is. You were triumphant at the end of the war of the Sins. You overthrew your own father and you have defeated one of the primordial gods: the god of the Oceans, my brother Leviathan. You've accomplished so many feats already, and many more are to come.

We are chaos together. Light and Darkness, Hope and Despair, Life and Death. Together as I shine a bright light, you engulf the world in darkness and we drive people mad. We send them to heights they weren't even dreaming existed. I have seen a glimpse of what we could do together in Vancouver... so imagine what we could really do once on the battlefield together? I cannot wait, my King.. my emperor. I cannot wait to see the chaos we would unleash upon this world and the others.

We are chaos, leading the humans and gods alike to that dance we call existence. I understand that perhaps that was the real reason behind the fear of our union. I acknowledge that when we're together, there's something incredible that happens. When we're together, there are sparkles of chaos all around, turning people into rabid animals, led by their instincts and doing whatever they can to worship us. I never paid attention to worshippers until I started to feel this power-up in my veins. The power of the All-Mother.

We are chaos,

We are fire and Ice, light and darkness, Life and Death

We are the beginning and the end

but most importantly,

How I love you so, Superbia.

How I love you so. »

Doya Mood piece – Free will.

Doya Mood piece – Free will.

« How does it work? The free will I mean. For so long I strongly believed that we were the architects of our own lives. I believed that we were responsible for the success and failure we faced but maybe I was wrong? When you told me that our whole lives were written by Chuck, that he was the one who decided whether or not you'd live, succeed or fail, I was devastated. The slaughter of my family, which I thought was a misfortune, ended up being plotted by the one above us. The demise of the Asanbosam, the fact you prevented me from dying a stupid death...All of this was nothing but a game played by Chuck?

How does it work uh? Free Will that is. Do you suddenly stand up and decide that you had enough and from this day to the end of times, you'd be the only one in charge of your destiny? That your choices would be yours and not Chuck's? I remember how skeptical I was when you first introduced me to Team Free Will and what you were trying to accomplish. I started to question my emotions for you, fearing that they might have been a byproduct of Chuks' infatuation with Sam and you. I remember talking to Castiel, who ended up comforting me in my choice to love you.

After all, these were our choice, you've already confronted Chuck about his intrusion in your lives and you've already lost your plot armor and favoritism. You became regular characters, so my love for team Free Will was genuinely mine. The love I felt for Dean was genuinely mine too and the decisions I took, good or bad, were honestly just mine. Everything we've lived together wasn't a lie or a forced plot point. It was our truth and the life we built together in the past ten years was a life we chose to lead. However, this made me think.

The decisions I made after I discovered the truth was probably the most powerful decisions I've ever made. Can you believe it, Dean? I chose to stay with you, to hunt with you, to makes this life with you three mine. I chose to go on an adventure and risk my life every night because I wanted to. I chose you. I still fancy myself thinking that I would always have chosen you, even if I didn't have the choice, but it's bitching to think that I was even stronger than Chuck. I chose you without any artifices, any lie, any convoluted plot to make you fall in love again. And I survived all of this. I'm still alive, no horrific ending, although I had close calls. And you survived all of this, with a couple new scars, but not enough to endanger your life. Our love is real, it's strong -stronger than time and gods-, it's OURS. »

Sam and Oya : You're my brother.

 

Sam and Oya: You're my brother.

A/N : A phone conversation between Sam and Oya when Oya was hunting alone. Post-Pluto.

XXXX

Small town near Lawrence, gas station 11 AM

Oya's bike wheel flattened a few kilometers before she reached the town. Fortunately for her, it was close enough for her to walk her bike to the nearest gas station and pump the bike full of air. Her phone rang at this exact moment, which had her take it off of her pocket and look at the name of the caller. « BOOKWORM » was written all over her phone, a cute nickname she gave Sam Winchester when she first arrived at the bunker. A soft smile graced her features and she took the call.

« Bookworm!  What's up? »

« Hey, O. Well, listen, I just wanted to check on you. » -He said, stroking the tip of his nose-

« You... I'm fine, Sam. » -Her response was a knee-jerk reaction.-

« Then why did you leave the bunker alone? You're working on a case ? » -She could tell he was worried, given the way he said this sentence, it came out almost like a growl, which sent shivers down Oya's spine. The petite hunter groaned-

« Are you going to lecture me? Because if you are, I hung up the phone. » -Another knee-jerk reaction to Sam being worried.-

As a matter of fact, this would have been hilarious if it wasn't so tragic. Oya would have been a hypocrite to deny Sam his fear of losing her again. Not so long ago she was on the floor, her body carved open by the pagan god Pluto. Not so long ago she would have died if Dean hadn't sent Castiel to her rescue and if the angel had come one second too late. It was a matter of luck, and Oya wasn't really exactly Domino from the x-men, she was running thin of Luck these days. She narrowed her gaze and rolled her head. Sam, on the other side of the phone, was frustrated with Oya's cavalier attitude regarding her near-death experience. He knew it was her putting on a brave mask for herself and the others, pretending that everything was fine when they weren't. He knew it was her trying to convince herself that she could still hunt and wasn't traumatized by the recent event. As a matter of fact, the ebony hunter second-guessed her trip out of the bunker, she wasn't ready, it was obvious to anyone who took a look at her, but Oya pretended that she was. So Sam's call awoke her fears and had her curl her free hand's fingers into a fist.

« I'm not trying to fight you Oya, nor lecture you. How many times did Dean and I fall into your shoes? We've always hidden our true feelings from one another, always pushed through pain and trauma, and look where it led us. I don't want you to-- »

« I'm not like you! » Oya ended up growling. « I haven't saved the world, I don't have a big destiny as you two have. I haven't been chosen by two archangels to fight for the fate of the world nor did I even encounter the actual king of Hell... I'm not like you... I'm not a chosen one, I'm just me, regular old me who was almost killed by a fucking pagan god! » She lashed out. « So yeah! I left the bunker. Yeah! I took my stupid bike! Yeah, I'm stuck in a town with a flat tire! I KNOW! I know... I know I'm not okay! » She ended up yelling before she ran her hand through her heavy black curls and bit her bottom lip. « I'm sorry Sam... I just didn't expect you'd call that's all. »

« I tend to call when I'm the least expected. » -He joked a little, making her chuckle a little bit.- « It's nice to hear you laugh. »

« You're silly.. » she chuckled and gently leaned the phone onto her shoulder. « But it's good to hear from you. I'm sorry I bailed on you. I needed to prove to myself that I wasn't broken by my last encounter. » She admitted, as she looked at the tire being pumped. « But now that you've called me, I don't know what to do. »

« Come home? »' -He suggested, holding his breath for her response.- « I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, O. I'm just...I just want you to be home that's all. »

« Why is that? » She asked, her voice slightly broke by the sudden rush of emotions that crept in her heart. « Why are you... why do you want me to go home? »

« Because I need to see you. I have been away a lot these past couple of months and while it was nice to talk to you over the phone, I was hoping we could spend some time together. » he stroked his nose. « Dean's not really talkative as you can imagine. »

« Uh ?.....Is this about Eileen? Are you finally asking this girl out? » She teased him, knowing full well that he wasn't calling her to get some relationship advice. However, the chuckle didn't last long and she moistened her lips before adding in a still cracked voice. « I should stop joking around. You quickly left once Castiel brought me home. It was as if you couldn't stand looking at me. »

« I had a hard time yeah. I felt relieved that you weren't dead, but then, it became overwhelming so I left. » He said, interspersing his voice with small grunts. « I could have lost you. We all could have lost you. »

« I know. I don't know how to deal with it. It's not the first time I almost die. When we met you and I, you rescued me from a vampire nest. They would have killed me, so many closed calls... I could have died the night I got the scars on my arms, all because I was reckless and enraged. I could have died... when that fucking creature took my face and body and confessed their affection to Dean.. my affection to him... my love. » She took a deep breath. « Then the werewolves, and so on and so on until this bastard took me out. I should have been dead by now and the fact I am not and the fact Castiel healed me almost to my best health? I felt that I got cheated in the recovery process you know? »

« There's the anger inside... I know the feeling. Lucifer got me you know? He killed me too. There's the emptiness you feel inside, and the injuries that took your life hurt like Hell too. Always...There's the anger, and there's the pain that never fully goes away. »

« And the loneliness... and the fear of leaving those we love behind. I fucking love you three. I was crying because I didn't want to leave you behind, I didn't want to die. » -Unlike the brothers, if she died and unless someone played with her body, she would be dead for good. She would be unable to be with them until their last breath.-

« You quickly get over it, once you've tried Death. » -Another joke, because Sam could feel that she was about to cry again. Oya swallowed those tears like she swallowed the pain. She simply shook her head. « Oya, I left because I couldn't stand the idea that someone hurt you this bad. It reminded me of Charlie and Kevin all over again. » He said with a sigh, leaning against the table of the war room at the MOL bunker.

« I'm sorry... » She sobbed, wiping her tears off of her face. « It's not what I wanted. I love Dean. I am in love with him, yeah. I love Castiel and I love you. You're my brother Sam. You're my brother. » She said, biting back a sob.

« Then come home, Oya! Come home. »

He said, his tone betraying the desire he had to see her again. He had been worried for the young woman, understandably so. And wished for her safe return until they are sure she's doing alright since the last attack she'd suffered. He knew his brother Dean would not be alarmed by what Oya did because he would have done the very same. However, he also knew that Dean was worried for her and wouldn't tell anyone about it. So Sam took it upon himself to reach out to Oya and reason with her. Oya considered his words and as the tire was almost ready she finally agreed to come home before hanging up the phone.

-TBC-

Chronicles of the primeval gods: Life of Elpis: The Garden of Everything

Chronicles of the primeval gods: Life of Elpis: The Garden of Everything

A/N : A little bittersweet moment between these two.

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Buildings, humans built buildings instead of enjoying the beautiful garden that existed there before. Granted those were millennia ago and men could have transformed this paradisiac place over the centuries, destroying little by little nature to build structures made of concrete instead. Elpis couldn't prevent the pang in her heart at the sight of it. A five-star hotel had been built there, offering a level of luxury that had not been matched in the area. Pride was making efforts for his Light, he'd rather spend time in Hades than mingle with humans. Yet his strategy paid since the goddess' powers reached new levels over her stay on Earth. His magic was still able to cloak her energy signature from the prying eyes of Ayasha, but he knew that it only was a matter of time before her powers exceeded his spell and they would have to think of another spell to hide her from her relatives.

Pride had the memories attached to the garden of Everything, but he had none of the emotions attached to them. Those weren't /his/ memories, after all, those belonging to the previous version of him. But the goddess was still the same and he understood why she was attached to them and why their steps took them to this place. It was the garden where everything began between the two of them, where they met and kept seeing each other when they were on Earth. It was a place, the pink-haired beauty held dear in her heart but, as Irony never took a day off, it was now transformed, a little bit like he was. She was upset, however, he could see it on her face since she wasn't hiding her feelings anymore. A smirk graced his features and he put his hand on the small of her back. Even now, Elpis was otherworldly, with a fine black dress that clung to her curves and her hair wavy yet with a single greek braid that held the top of her hair in check. She put a golden olive wreath in her head, to remind herself and others that she was a queen. Pride was wearing his usual black suit, impeccable around his silhouette and elevating an already perfect physique.

« Come on, Elpis, you couldn't possibly have expected the place to stay the same. »

« Part of me did, Superbia. The garden was breathtaking, beaming with wildlife and plants. It was so quiet back in the days. » She smiled faintly before she walked into the hotel. « Now, it's only concrete, gold, and platinum structures. »

« The hotel seems charming. Humans of this era can have a good sense of taste. » He mentioned while rubbing her back. « Let's go inside. »

As they went and rented (well, a slight influence of Pride and suddenly, everything is free and at their disposal, you know the drill) the royal suite, Bäahal stretched her arms as she crossed the door into the living room of the suite. The place was huge, with enough space for them to have a living room, a kitchen, a large dining room, and their bedroom. It was a gold and white room, richly decorated with golden ornaments, arabesques, and even furniture. It was familiar to the style of her own home and of Hades pantheon, which made both comfortable in the room. Elpis went to the balcony, in hopes to perhaps have a racy view of what could have been left of the garden. But there was nothing left of the original place anymore, instead, there was an Olympic swimming pool where several good-looking, or rich old people were gathered. Elpis sighed and put both hands on the balcony.

« There is always a moment when my feet take me to this place. I used to come here often, even when you weren't around. » She said, soft memories of her time in the garden brought a smile on her face. « Today it's noisy, filled with people eager to enjoy the latest lavishly decorated hotel. » She sighed and turned to look at Pride. « It hurts... » She patted her heart with her right palm and looked back at the people in the swimming pool.

« I know you're hurting. » Pride started before he walked closer to her and put his arm around her shoulder. « The garden meant something to you, but just like the old me, it's gone now. » He mentioned, his voice as soft as possible but firm still. « I think that you wanted something to hold onto, something that could remind you of the good old times, but you've already admitted to me that those times weren't that good, to begin with. » He pointed out again, which achieved to break her heart. She gently escaped his grip and gave him a stern look.

« So what? I might misremember the days we spent together, but I still /lived/ them. I still feel something.. those were happy memories for me. »

« Memories of a time you were enslaved by your family. Memories of a time you were desperate for freedom and the old me was your ticket to your freedom. »

« How dare you? » She hit the balcony with her fist, the sky which once why bright and devoided of clouds, quickly turned black with grey clouds ready to unleash a tempest. « How dare you say that ? » -She weakly said, her eyes filled with unshed tears. « Yes, my life was less than ideal but is it a reason to insult me? » She asked, pointing him with her forefinger. « I wasn't even trying! We were in the area, so of course I would visit the only place on Earth that felt like home ! » She then groaned and looked away from him.

« You didn't let me finish, Elpis.. » But she stubbornly didn't look at him. Instead, she felt her lips purse tightly as she didn't want to let any sound escape her lips. Yet, her golden orbs were flashing bright light, while people under started to scream as the rain was ruining their swimming pool day. « Ever since we came on Earth to help you recover, we've made sure to make new memories. I can't and I would never feel anything that the old me did. I think that the irony of you coming over to a transformed place could actually be the opportunity to build new memories with me instead. Yes, the garden is gone, but it is still there, and the old Pride is gone, but I am here. My light, the garden was nothing but a place and the memories attached to it. I can offer you better memories with someone who truly cares for you. » He finally added, his hand holding her chin and turning it just so she could meet his gaze. We will make this garden ours.

« Do you really mean it? » She finally asked with a broken voice as the rain became even more violent. He stroked her cheek and gave her a non-ambiguous smile. « Then alright, You're right, I don't know why I got so upset over the change. » She took a deep breath and calmed the rain, then cleared the sky again. « The most important is that I am here, with you. It's all that ever matters. » -She finally said, proceeding to hold onto him as tight as she could.-

« It's all there is. » -Pride added while keeping her in a tight embrace.

It wasn't always a fight, she knew it. They learned to appreciate one another and have connecting moments between the two of them. She did change over the last year spent together, fell in love with the new Pride, but her recovery made her sensitive to any slight change. The garden of Everything was, after all, more than just a beautiful place. It also was the memories she shared with the old Pride, memories tied to her rebellion, to something she wanted so much she sacrificed her life for it. Pride knew he couldn't ask her to reject everything they've experienced together, but he had to remind her that the future was now, and the most important thing was that he chose to be with her, help her recover, prepare her revenge. The most important thing was that she managed to make him feel something that went beyond domination or desire. It went beyond pettiness and revenge. It was actual, genuine care for the goddess of Light. For his queen. The future empress of the Universe. It wasn't always a fight, and this little cloudy day would quickly turn back into the sunny cloudless day it was before. It was just a matter of time.

-TBC-

Modern, GoT: Do you know ?.mood piece-

Modern, GoT: Do you know ?.mood piece-

Been listening to this one : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApXoWvfEYVU

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Do you know what that feeling is, when I'm looking at you? I'm not really sure of what it is, but it's there. I have butterflies in my belly when I look at you. Yeah, strange isn't it? But I like it. I have this stupid smile on my face when I read your texts, some of them make me blush hard, others got me all hot and bothered and some have me gasp. You know how to surprise me and make me smile. Always. I'm looking forward to hearing your voice when we call each other. There's just this feeling of not having enough of you when you're away, you know? I am always checking my phone, hoping you'd text me, hoping I could text you something...always seeking interaction with you.

Do you know what that feeling is, when I'm looking at you? I don't know what it's called, but I do like how it feels. When you're next to me, it's like the whole world had stopped spinning. There's nothing around us, just you. Just you and me. Just you and your gorgeous smile and your beard, and those long blonde locks. There's only you Jaime. I only see you. I don't want to go against those emotions, I love that you care for me, you know? When I'm with you, I exist and I matter to you. It's probably going to sound a little desperate -my bad-, but I think no. I know I need you in my life because I want to feel that way again, and again.. it feels good you know? To be in a healthy relationship with someone? To be wanted? To be listened to? It feels good...

Do you know what that feeling is, when I long to see you again? You're all I can think of when I'm not with you. I always wonder if you're okay if you're doing fine, and I can see you on social media, see you on tv, think of you day and fucking night... You're dreamy, my Golden Lion...Even when I am at my greediest, when my senses are acute and I need relief, my thoughts are only for you. My hand becomes yours, my touch is your touch in my hand and I can remember how good it felt to be with you. I can remember just how much I want you and it is your name that I scream into my pillows at night. I think it's called being thirsty and only you can quench this thirst.

Do you know what that feeling is when you and I are together? I think I do know how it is. I have felt it a long time ago and promised myself to never let it happen again so I wouldn't suffer again. Yet, I failed... I am failing... I am falling for you. The whole situation with Bronn helped me realize that I was starting to grow uncomfortable with the idea of you thinking I could bang someone else. -Although in that case, it wasn't what you thought-. I grew uncomfortable with the idea that you thought I wouldn't be exclusive. This... whatever this is that we have.. our time, our thing.. this is only for you and nobody else. How could it be, when you're the only one who makes me skip a heartbeat? How could it be ?....