Kaedegirl bio and presentation of Asma Jensen

KAEDEGIRL

Kaedegirl is an upcoming novelist and poet. Most of her old work is in French but she self-published and sold two poem collections:  The Misadventures of Eros and Thanatos Vol. I and Vol. II.  Her next big project is a novel: No More Tears, which will be published soon and translated into English. She's French with ties to Cameroon and lives in France with her partner and books,  at the heart of the city of Lights and Love She is a little shy but with a rich inner world she's eager to share with the rest of the world. 

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Asma character: 

The character was created in 2009

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  Asma is a superhero from another planet and offers the light of hope to those who have lost theirs

Oh how quickly life can change! In the blink of an eye Asma Jensen, Queen of the planet Metron, was forced into an everlasting slumber. Her sleeping pod was discovered several millennia later during an archeological excavation and was taken to a secret facility owned and run by the president of her new homeland. During an experiment with her pod, it was accidentally opened and Asma woke up into this new world of advanced technology.

 

Asma demonstrated powers and abilities that were not possessed by any metroians and she felt it was necessary to conceal her knowledge of the past. After an extensive period of tests, the president offered Asma to become the new asset of her task force team. She accepted the offer knowing she had to adapt to make a new life for herself in this foreign world. However, the level of normalcy she obtained for two years was about to emerge into chaos. The president of her new homeland survived an assassination attempt and now Asma and her teammates are tasked with investigating the failed coup. But none of them realized just how big of an adventure they were about to experience.

Prayers to the Goddess of Hope

"Goddess of Hope, I pray to thee. 

I do not know who to turn to, but you. 

I know you will listen to me, and I know you will answer my prayers. 

I don't need my wishes to be granted, nor do I believe in fairytales.

All I am asking for is the strength to keep hope. 

All I am asking for is the strength to carry on because I believe in a better tomorrow.

All I am asking for is that you lend me your grace, so I could believe in myself.

I need to have faith in what I will be doing. 

I need to have faith in what I'm chasing after.

Goddess of Hope, I pray to thee. 

Bless me with your golden grace, pink locks, and intense golden gaze.

I beg of thee, I beg for thee, to bring some colors back in my grey world."

Tribute to RaSen

 

RaSen and I have been friends for several years now, actually since 2011. I am absolutely fond of them because as a person they've been so open-minded, so kind, so funny and fun to be with and taught me a lot. They motivated me early on in keeping sketching and improving (and I did improve a lot thanks to their constant support and motivation) so naturally, I ended up wanting to have work from her. Back in 2011, I was extremely broke (not fully out of the woods, but not suffocating either these days), so I have to thank my friends L. and D. for their kindness and willingness to get some artwork for me as well as they did get some for their characters.

I loved RaSen's style because it was pretty realistic and I was looking for a way to have a realistic version of my character Asma Jensen done by them. Talk about perfect. Back in the days, Asma Jensen was still a fanfiction character -I didn't dare dream of her own universe just yet, but she was already talking to me.- I tried her in several universes, through different names, but the one that stuck to her was the Marvel universe. [Those who are curious, can see a few artworks involving licensed characters winks] I am not going to shy away from those origins, yes, she was a marvel OC character. I felt the most comfortable with the X-men franchise, that spoke to me on different levels, I could be related to their struggle, I could relate to some of their traumas... I grew up with the x-men, so writing in that universe never was difficult for me. Asma quickly picked up and is mostly known as a Marvel OC online.. although word finally got out that she had her own universe and people are starting to see her less of an OC and more as my creator own character.:) phew!

Over the years, I was able to come together with her with a few requests. I wanted portraits of Asma and I wanted Wolverine and Asma. (The one with Cap was a gift to me, by my twin who wanted to see them together... yes, I know, how dare I make them an item?) Those are really special to me because for the first time, I was able to actively contribute and help her as she helped me. I could support her work and she gave me ten times what I gave her with her gorgeous illustration. She knows how to draw my character. She knows how to channel her emotions, either when she's stoic, or when she's smiling. Have you seen Asma and that smile? She has the best smile I've ever seen, bright, calm, happy. I know that I was actively trying to build myself back up after a traumatic event and seeing so much hope and positivity on my character, truly helped me. I loved the hair color, the skin color, Asma was gorgeous.

I am extremely fond of the two illustrations she did of Wolverine and Asma and Cap and Asma. Two different vibes, two different costumes, two different relationships. Wolverine and Asma always had that mentor/father/ brother/protegee/daughter/sister type of relationship. They worked well together, understood the other, always were blunt towards one another. Asma could pack punches and Wolverine could withstand them. He helped her with her anger issues, he guided her when she was lost, he comforted her when she needed it the most and he was always able to see through her silence and white lies. I enjoyed writing the two of them to discuss philosophy and the place people like them had in such a hostile world. She sometimes reasoned him, he sometimes brought her back to reason. They truly checked and balanced with each other. But they had some chemistry when they fought together and RaSen beautifully illustrated it. She went above and beyond for her friend and that moved me beyond tears. I still remember how I felt when she sent me the final file.

Asma and Captain America, in that small circle of friends who could read my fictions, they were quite popular. An item, as I said. My version of Cap was that of a man displaced in time, who struggled sometimes with how the world turned into, never waived from his convictions, still was traumatized by what he saw during War and progressively opened up to the new world and a potential new life too. He was a man married to the job -with a failure with Peggy Carter-, who allowed himself to try something else, to give himself a chance when Asma came into his life. They went from « short-term teammates » during a short stint as an Avenger, to « full-blown » the power couple, not without issues. I really loved to have their worlds clash a bit, have him fully grasp the ordeals mutants went through, the impossible complete acceptance from mankind, the traumas from war, slaughters, massacres and dehumanization. I liked to have them talk, openly talk about their emotions and beliefs, argue, reconcile, rejoice, experiment, and yes, have various types of intimacy. I really loved writing their story, so much so I spent 5 years on it. I love to see them together, to see them smile to each other, to have them hug. It's my favorite illustration to date with them.

Yes, I have moved from my early days as a fanfiction writer, but I really loved the memories, the joys, the excitement, the fear I felt when I was writing and enjoying my character in such a universe. I remember and love the feedback I got after each chapter, after each horrible what-if scenarios I wrote, after each loving moment..it was cathartic and to this day, helped me shape her personality and the character into her definitive version. Through the fiction, she became her own character and thanks to the likes of RaSen, I was able to put a face to my character and her world.

I wanted to give her tribute, because I've been holding back since 2015 but no more. I know you will read this, Nik, so whenever you're around, please know that I love you and I can't wait to see what you can come up with when you get back to drawing again. I love you so much. Thank you for all the emotions you gave me, for the joy, for your friendship, for our laughs, and for your care. <3 I love you, Always.

-May-

HAPPY 12TH ANNIVERSARY ASMA

Anniversary : 12 years.

I know that for some people, I feel like a big talker, like someone who's just bragging here and there about a story and a character I've been writing for a decade now. I understand why they would think of me like this. I don't mind. I know my story, I know how difficult it is to write when you're crippled with severe anxiety, depression, and when you're navigating through traumas. It's not an easy journey, this book is literally my sweat, tears, self-doubt, and self-loathing working against me. The goal for me is to finish it. I want to finish it, at least put it out there and tell her story.

In the video, I'm talking about what Asma meant to me for it had been a question asked by the people who follow my work for years. Semi-pro or professional friends I know, people who also are amateurs like me, people who simply like art. It was a couple years ago and I had just started to convince myself that I had enough material to write my story. I was terrified, even then (you can clearly see in the video) because I wasn't sure my story could be readable. The themes I'm trying to talk about, the way it could be conveyed through dialogues or narration. I wasn't sure people would be willing to read me and it stopped me more times than I want to admit. I've been asked to go public, to add social media accounts, but my social anxiety prevents me from even considering it for now. A friend set up an internet page on her own website to showcase the work she did for my character and that's about it... again, for now. I take it slow.

But I'm taking certain steps. I'm moving forward. Someone asked me why in 12 years I wasn't able to put my book out. I guess it takes time. With the struggles I am facing right now, I think achieving « 100 pages » is miraculous. It's encouraging. I love Asma, I love what she brought to me. I love the Hope she kept giving me and those around me. She literally did save my life, in ways I would gladly talk about sometimes later when I feel ready. She's a project that keeps me going, and to this day, I am still very happy to have positive feedbacks on her, on what she did to other people too.

12 years is a lot of time spent on a character and a world. I have art I've showcased over the years on my FB page and Deviantart page. Some from me, some from others. I have her book I'm writing and reached page 100, I even started a very small poem collection I'm selling on the side, for those who are interested. It wasn't a BOOM, but it was something. (Thank you to those who bought those booklets). I am set to finish the book and work on communicating about it more in the next two years. I'm doing something. Maybe for some of you, it'll be in vain, or not enough because I'm still secretive about it -I really want to wait until I'm sure I'm done drafting it before I talk about it- but truly, I'm in no rush, my primary goal is just to finish my baby, make sure she's ready to go to the world. She's my legacy, after all, the one thing I want to leave behind and leave well. So no matter how long it takes, it'll be finished because I'm fully committed now and I am full of Hope too. That's the power of Asma Jensen, the beacon of hope.

So, darling, Happy 12^th anniversary, thank you so much for having been such a wonderful supportive companion over the years and allowing me to work on you. Let me please, keep going so I can present you to this world. Proud to have achieved something. Happy anniversary, beloved.

-May-

TWD: Amelia x Asma

[Amelia belongs to my friend Lou and Asma belongs to me.

xxx

She makes me feel free. We've been living in a shitshow ever since the Z's breakout and I was one of the first people who would not have survived if she hadn't found me first. I told Rick that Asma was special to me. She was brave. She wasn't the strongest when we met and she definitely isn't three years later but I still can remember how clumsy she was with the baseball bat she had. She twirled it in front of her, unsure of how to Knock down the Z's as she called them but she did nonetheless. It gave me an opening so I could escape from the few who were circling me and just like that, she saved my life. I owe her my life. We all did. She was my first post-apocalypse friend. I had friends before, but they either died or abandoned me to save their skins. I don't blame them for that. Asma found me, she went the extra mile to save me, a complete stranger, and didn't ask for anything in return. That's stuff made of legends you know? The kind of stuff that forms an everlasting friendship? Many times she asked our group of survivors if we wanted to stay in the places we found or leave her behind but we never did. She found all of us and I'm pretty sure that if I was able to save Ahmed if we got together and talked about having a family of our own... yeah if I had that hope, it was because she gave it to me. We could have a life after the Z's breakout. We could have a life.

And she's gone now. She gave her life to save mine and I can only sit my skinny ass down and wait for that incompetent Rick to stop being Negan's bitch and rescue her. She gave her life to save mine, accepted to become one of Negan's Wives.. and God knows what else she agreed to. He wouldn't hit her, she wouldn't dare disobey to ensure my survival but I know he would break her. He would find her weakness. Violence wasn't her weakness for she's lived it all of her life. Before the Z's she was quite a victim of terrible circumstances. from her mother to her lovers, violence was part of her life and she let that happen because she didn't know better... up until the night of the breakout where she worked up some courage and retaliated. My Asma was born on that night when she rescued me. She was born through blood, fire, and trauma....so he could be violent with her, it would only fuel her strength. Negan is clever, very clever. He would know that it was kindness her true weakness and he would use it against her and I would lose her.

I can't lose her! I'm coming for her!

MNB: Come as you are part 3: Maturity/ Let's panic together (Irina/Asma again)

A/N: So this takes place after Zeus got hit at this night event. Paparazzis are going crazy on him and camp outside of Tartarus buildings. Irina heard about the fight and decided to come visit him to give him some support and this is how the two love interests meet for the first time. This scene takes place after they met and just show the relationship between Irina and Zeus. (some of it)

Part1: first meeting

Part2: Compromise (Zeus and Irina and a little bit of Asma)

Part3: Maturity/let's panic together (Irina and Asma talking)

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Irina left Zeus office and went to the women's restroom in order to freshen up before her appointment. Her conversation with her fiancé went well and the blonde was hoping that the incident he was involved in a few weeks ago would be forgotten. It was difficult to escape from the paparazzi given how much they were preying on Zeus and his antics but Irina was hopeful. People eventually would get bored of him. What crime did he commit if not just be the son of one the most despicable men of America? His father conned people and stole their money. He preyed on the rich and the poor without discrimination and enriched himself in the process.

He was apprehended and put in jail after he pleaded guilty but that wasn't enough to calm the public's anger towards the man. They extended their hatred to his son. Ever since Hercules was incarcerated, Zeus had to fend for himself and fight tooth and nail to make a brand new reputation. The public was on a fence with him, hesitating between hating him because he was his father's son or hating on him because of his abrasive personality. They were completely disregarding the fact his company was not only legit since he took it over, but also gave back to the people who were spoiled by his father. Could he give that money back? Not really, his father conned thousands of people and refunding them was impossible. However, he invested hundreds of thousands of dollars into local companies that specifically were designed to help the most the people.

Yes, he fought against that other celebrity because he disrespected her and Irina couldn't help but find this chivalrous. As she went to the restroom to make sure her makeup was on point, she heard the noise of flushed toilets and saw Asma who left one of the boxes. Unaware of Irina's presence, she arranged her skirt for a few minutes before she headed towards the sink to wash her hands. Asma froze when she saw Irina, at a clear loss of words.

« You can come closer. I'm not going to eat you, I promise. » Irina joked while she took some lipstick from her purse and opened it. Asma took a deep breath and poured some soap all over her hands.

« I don't mean to disrespect you. I just.. I never thought I'd actually meet you someday. » And she had wished she never did. It already was horrible to endure Tom's taunts every day at the office, but it had been worse to eventually meet the reason of those taunts. Irina was sweet and kind. It might have been the first time they met each other, but Asma was an excellent judge of character and Irina was far from being vapid or self-centered. She glanced at Asma who was now washing her soaped hands and grinned at her.

« You're not disrespecting me. You've been spending the last few months with my fiancé and he is quite a lot to handle. I meant my words earlier. I am grateful you're around him because ever since you entered his life, he's become more... Mmhh relaxed. » She said, pursing her lips to make sure the lipstick was well applied. « I like him better this way. He's been worried almost all of his life and when it became tougher for him, you know when the public started to associate him with his father's crimes and seek for blood., they made him cruel. They made him angry and he started to lash out in spectacular fashion. » Her sweet blue eyes stopped at Asma's face while her hands rested on the sink before her.

« You love him huh ?.. » Asma didn't think twice as her lips worked faster than her brain.

Irina looked at her and blushed slightly. A quick nod of her head answered Asma's question. Of course, she loved Zeus. She had six years to get to know him and being one of the only few he allowed to be close to his heart felt like a privilege. He was a kind soul, a golden heart hidden by thorns and fire but one who would protect you fiercely if he cared about you. He cared a great deal about her, hence why he got in trouble in the first place. She fell in love with him over the years as she understood his soul a lot better and matured herself, on his sides. Asma expected the semi-confession to sting worse than a stingray but it didn't. It actually brought her peace. Irina knew Zeus, she was sincere in her love for the man and Asma could see that love radiate from her. Irina was relaxed when she talked about Zeus, her voice sounded warmer and if she paid attention, Asma could see that the blonde supermodel was breathing a lot harder. Her torso was heaving faster as Irina got flustered. How could Asma hate her?

She turned off the tap and grabbed some toilet paper to dry her hands. Her eyes averted from Irina to the mirror in front and tucked some hair behind her ear. She fell in love with Zeus and if she was honest with herself, loving someone implied she had to make sure they were happy. She had to make sure Zeus was and being with Irina was his choice. She made him happy, and because she did, Asma had to step aside and let him be happy. Her eyes betrayed her sadness as she kept drying her hands. It was painful for her, to force herself to give up on Zeus but it was the most mature decision she could take. Irina cleared her throat and gently put her hand over Asma's arm.

« You're taking such a good care of him Asma. I wanted to thank you for that. »

« I—I don't know what to say to that... I am just doing my job. »

« You have a good influence on him. You should take the compliment. » She said in a soft giggle before her hand stroked Asma's arm and she grabbed her purse. « I wish I could stay longer but I actually have an appointment in half an hour. I would have to leave but we should meet someday, just the two of us so we could talk about Zeus? I would love to. See you around. » She said with a warm smile on her lips.

« See you around. » Asma gave her a tight crooked smile and watched as the blonde left.

Her eyes were wide open and it only was because of her hands, now curled into fists, were hurting that the young woman realized that she was holding back. It hurt since the nails had pierced the skin and it forced Asma to put her hands in a cold stream of water. She was breathing heavily and felt her heartbeats go faster against her ribcage. The conversation was so casual and so charming that it turned her insides upside down. The enemy here wasn't Irina. It wasn't even Zeus. He was on a break when the kiss happened. He was single, technically so they didn't do anything wrong. In his efforts to regain Irina's affection and move on from learning Margot was heavily pregnant, he proposed to the blonde three days after she confessed her feelings to him. How could it not burn? How could it not hurt? Even now, right after she decided that the best thing she could do for both Zeus and herself, would be to let him pursue his life of happiness with Irina and not interfere. They loved each other, Asma was just a detail in their history, well at least she tried to rationalize that in front of the mirror. The tears that were dry a few minutes ago, fell once again and she used her cell phone to text Madeleine.

#Irina left, I have to return to the Boss. We've just met right after I peed. She likes me, of all people, she likes me. I decided to let this go. You were right. I have to.# She then waited for a text from her best friend who quickly responded.

#Yeah? She likes you? Talk about irony. Yeah, do yourself a service. Afterworks later? Girl, you need to drink! #

#Sounds like a plan. C U!#

She said as she put her phone back into her pocket. Her hand nervously ran through her dyed pink locks and she finally sobbed in silence. She knew her broken heart was still being broken and would need a lot more time to heal from that event. Running away from her feelings wasn't a solution anymore, so she wouldn't. Instead, she intended to go through the heartbreak like she should. A couple of sad songs, the company of friends and her best friend and maybe a rebound. Nothing happened with Zeus and nothing would so why put her heart into a twist? She was young, she could get over it. He used her pager to summon her into his office, so she knew that she would have to clean her face and hide all evidence of her turmoil. She wiped her tears off of her face and took another deep breath. She looked great, a gentle pinch on her chocolate cheeks, a subtle chew on her bottom lip and a dash of confidence would help her face her boss.

Little did she know that it only was the beginning of a more complicated dynamic. Little did she know.

(TBC)

The salt of life

What's the salt of life?

She's been told that you could only appreciate Life when you went through hardships. Without hardships you couldn't find yourself, if you didn't find yourself, you couldn't enjoy your life because it wouldn't be yours.

It sounded so pompous and so artificial that she didn't pay attention to the old saying until that moment when she got salt all over her hands. It was rough, it rubbed against her warm palm, it was coarse and abbrasive and yet she knew it was necessary. Without salt to season your food, it would be tasteless.

Did that mean Salt referred to troubles? to pain? To sadness? Maybe it did, maybe that was the meaning of this little proverbial sentence. "Learn how to take in the pain, so you could enjoy happiness when it comes." It sounded easier said than done, for Pain usually led to questionning, which led to overthinking and constantly worrying. It required a lot of work to soothe the voice in her head, to take away the constant fear of losing her loved ones to some threat. Yet, she learned to appreciate those moments and look back at them as moments of growth.

Well, she was still learning to do that.

Where was she today? At a much better place than she was a few years ago. Away was this little scared heroin, unable to figure out her place in this world. Away was the daughter of Gaea who kept thinking she was disposable and shouldn't even hang out with the x-men. Gone was the fear of being abandonned again because she found in the x-men, the family and friends she never thought she could have in her life. That allowed her to enjoy those get-together events where everyone was relaxed and enjoying themselves. It also helped her enjoy more the moments they fought against their enemies.

So tears and cries might be uncomfortable, they were necessary. She now understood that. They were the salt of her life because past the tears she was now able to see how flavoured her life was. A soft smile crept on her lips as she washed away the salt that covered her palms and looked back up to the x-men who were playing and swimming at the sea. She wouldn't join but instead laze out on her towel on the sand, with a summer hat not to catch sunburn and an unbrella under which she would remain.

That was the salt of life, not always pleasant but oh so necessary.

Asma xPride Lore : Breaking the ice

A/N: the impending follow-up to the previous one:) basically we could sum them up like this :

Pride: « When would you set my beloved free, meatsuit? »

Asma: « Dafuq is happening ?? »

Don't you worry love:) that one just naturally came up, no biggie. <3  

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He noticed that the frail woman in front of him was being bothered by the weather. She was shaking and his time spent studying humans informed him that she might catch a cold that could if not treated right, be lethal. So, instinctively he removed his coat and wrapped it around her before his hand gently pushed the small of her hand to set her in motion. As both walked back to the café she ran from, Pride was now confused as he didn't feel her familiar presence anymore. It happened in a blink of an eye, a single moment where he almost basked in her full glory but the reunion was denied to both of them. The only thing he was sure about, was that his soul mate was entrapped within this human meatsuit and seeing him might have awoken her essence. Pride was on the right path and it made him sigh in relief. He promised to find her in this life or another and he did, but the hardest part was about to begin.

The frail human sat on her chair and wrapped the coat tighter around her frame. Her hazel eyes were filled with unanswered questions and fear of the unknown but part of her was excited as she would finally have answers. She stared at him carefully and glanced at her sketchbook that was lying on the table. She saw him in her dreams and drew him over and over again, now that the man in her dreams was in front of her in flesh and blood, she was wondering what would happen next. Did he have questions to ask? Was he searching for her? Was he dreaming of her as well? Did they know each other? She nervously chewed on her bottom lip before looking at her sketchbook again.

« I have many questions to ask you. »

« I have all the time in the world. » He assured her, patiently ignoring the bothering human presence around them. The whole room was still staring at them, curious and frankly nosey-ing at the couple before them. Asma didn't like the attention so she quickly blushed and swallowed a lump. She was different from his lover, more demure and sheltered than Elpis ever was but it wasn't bothering him so far, so he let it slide.

« I... don't but I'll try to make it quick and easy for us. » She said in a whisper, before tweaking one of her pink locks. « Have you been dreaming of me too ? »

« I don't dream. I did think of...you. » He admitted, still staring at her with his piercing blue gaze. She shivered, feeling his insisting gaze on her.

« Of me? Have we met? » He nodded.

« A very long time ago. »

« I don't remember. » She stroked her chin and then shook her head. No ! She had an excellent memory, she would have known if they had met. He was speaking of something she couldn't understand and it was beginning to frustrate her. « I would have remembered. I always remember. When was it? »

« You weren't even born yet. Your ancestors didn't exist either. »

« What? » He was giving her a straight face and she could tell when someone was lying. He wasn't, which was starting to make her feel unsafe all of a sudden. Asma grabbed her sketchbook and her bag and started to put her belongings into her bag but Pride stopped her with a firm hand.

« You have to listen to me very carefully. I know it's beyond your comprehension and you might not even fully understand what I am going to say. You are inhabited by the essence of my soul mate. »

« Your. » Asma couldn't believe her ears and she nervously looked around for an exit.

« Yes. Haven't you noticed some changes in your personality? Subtle changes like your newfound taste for cherry cola? Seeing me in your dreams? Maybe even discovering you had an uncanny connection to nature? Don't you get along well with animals? Or maybe it's your ability to grow plants almost effortlessly? » He was describing things that were happening to her and she started to panic.

« Who... who are you? » She asked in another whisper.

« I am one of the seven sins. I am Pride. I was... am, Elpis' soul mate and she appears to be stuck inside of you. I felt her faint presence today on Earth and allowed myself to interact with humans to have a chance to find her. I did. You are here. I want to set her free and I shall. I promised... » He flat out laid the truth on her and with such a serious face that she didn't know how to react. Was he drunk? Was he crazy? Was he making things up? Her eyes were so wide open that he chuckled softly. « You don't believe me, don't you? » She nodded.

« It's a little bit hard to swallow. » She whispered as she sighed slightly.

« But this is the truth and you know it deep inside. I never lie. »

« You could be wrong. » She was trying to look for an exit to such a complicated and unwanted situation.

« I'm never wrong. » He crushed her hopes. She sighed and furrowed her brows as she tried to make sense of all of it.

« You could be delusional then ?! » He furrowed his brows, slightly annoyed that she didn't believe him straight away. « What? »

« I can show you. » She shrugged and rubbed her temple. He knew she would accept because she desperately needed something to make sense of what was happening.

« What do you plan to do? »

He didn't answer. Instead of Pride simply let his powers work for him. Asma noticed that people started to argue out of a sudden. She looked around and clenched her bag as she didn't understand what was happening. The agitation became more important and the people around her started to fight. The pink haired lady gasped and covered her ears as she didn't want to witness the violence taking place around her. He noticed she was uneased and gently stopped using his power to manipulate humans. She shook her head and shut her eyes tight as the sound of breaking bones and breaking glass was sending waves of fear through her body. She nearly screamed as she felt the cold hand of the SIN on her shoulder. He gave her a faint smirk.

« What did just happen? » She asked, breathless and worried.

«/I/ happened. It's just a slight taste of what I can do. You used to do even better, you did wonders. »

« You mean, my alter-ego? » He nodded and then grabbed her hand.

« I felt something a few minutes earlier when you tried to escape from me. »

« I wasn't. I was trying to run away from... It was scary. » She blushed and tucked some hair behind her ear. « You said your name is Pride right? Mine is Asma Jensen. » She blushed and outstretched her hand towards him. « Maybe we could start again? »

« You need some time to adjust. It's fair enough. » He said as he looked at her hand with a questioning gaze.

« It's for a handshake. You're supposed to shake my hand. » She said, bemused as he grabbed her hand. «Yes, just like that.. oh... » She blushed as he ended up stroking the back of her hand.

« Well, Asma. » -He furrowed his brow as he felt a very hostile presence around them. He pulled her towards him and turned on his heels so she wouldn't be hurt by the flying bullets that broke the front glass of the café. He was impervious to bullets and he didn't want his beloved's host to die, forcing her into a new cycle of reincarnation and making it difficult for him to locate. Asma screamed and grabbed his shirt as she heard the groans and painful cries of people being killed around them. Why was her life changing so fast? It only took a second for it to go from mellow to dramatic.

I will always find you Pride x Asma

Pride and Asma: « I will always find you »

A/N: this is the beginning of a story I'm writing with a friend of mine. He's doing Pride and I'm doing Asma/Elpis. And I am really satisfied with this beginning that would be the background story of them both. Behold, the tears:p All the usual disclaimer 

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Asma crawled to Pride's private quarters. She barely had enough energy to teleport there and could barely make an audible sound when she knocked on the door. Her life force was leaving her and she knew it would only be a matter of time before death would claim her. Yet, the only thing she had in mind at such a moment was him. She wanted to see him one last time before she met her demise. He heard the noise and dropped the file he was reading, to quickly open the massive golden door and take her in. His beloved. The only person of the universe who mattered to him. The sight horrified him because she was laying in a pool of her own blood and he could see her lifeforce, manifesting itself as a warm and comforting blue light, raining out of her body like pixie dust sprinkled over a flower. Her body was still warm in his arms but the wound wasn't healing.

He didn't need to think too hard to understand what was happening. It was a punishment from the elder gods for their forbidden relationship. He wasn't a god, he wasn't a mortal. He was an original Sin! He was Corruption! He was a weapon that could be used against the Gods and provoke their demise. So of course, her people would never welcome him. She was an elder goddess, a goddess who predated the ancient gods. The very daughter of Gaea, the All-mother. The fragile beauty that was withering in his arms was the elder goddess of Hope. The one who explored the universe too far and ended up finding Pride. They couldn't have been more opposite and yet something brought them together. Something called « love ». Pride snapped his fingers and poofed them on the sofa near his desk. She would be more comfortable than on the floor, he thought to himself, but as he was petting her pink locks, she opened her eyes and stared at him with sadness and pain. They wouldn't have enough time to say goodbye if she didn't start to speak. She took his free hand and brought it to her heart, where the wound was.

« P-Pride. We don't have much time. »

« What's happening? » He asked, always with composure but his eyes were vibrantly blue and she could see the conflict and turmoil in his gaze. A faint smile crept on her lips and she nodded quietly.

« They're... punishing me...for falling in love.. with y-y-you. » she coughed blood and braced herself. « I'll live an eternal cycle of reincarnation...I'll be human forever. » She cupped his cheek with her blood-soaked hand and stroked it softly. « They don't want me to remember you. They want our love to die. »

« It's...Is there a thing I can do? I'm not familiar with this magic, I'm not familiar with..I'm sure we can do something. I could ask... » But she put her forefinger on his lips. Staining it with her blood.

« You will forget me Pr-Pride. We're meant to forget each other but... » She coughed again. « ..You know what? They forgot something...they forgot that love knows no bound....I will always find you. Wherever you are..in place..and time. »

She was fading away, her legs were vanishing, which meant the spell was being activated. He realized that they would never see each other again and worse, he would never remember her. The Sin started to shake nervously while his hand was stroking her cheek, trying to grasp the last minute they had together. He wanted to tell her again, how much she meant to him, how empty he would feel without her. How much she changed his life and turned a once lifeless and empty life into a thing of beauty. She gave him something he never thought of freedom. He never truly realized how much she meant to him until this very moment and the irony slapped him in the face in a matter of a millisecond. He didn't even care about his Father's motives, about the reason he was brought alive. He only cared about her and before he could say anything, she was taken away from him.

« I...love...you. » He muttered to her. Confused as for why he even said those words. He never said them, he never understood fully well why it was so important for her to whisper them any chance she got but it felt right to speak them. It felt right to let her know what he never said to her. He understood at that very moment everything and it hurt more than he could imagine. Her eyes grew wide and her golden orbs flashed a bright light before she whispered to him with the warmest smile she ever had.

« I know.  I always did. »

His eyes were now cerulean pools as emotion was overwhelming him. She vanished mere seconds after she said those words, only leaving behind remnants of her essence, the blue pixie dust that kept oozing from her body ever since she was wounded. His knees felt light now that there was no weight and he realized the cruelty of their punishment. He saw flashbacks of their life together, from their first meeting to the moment she confessed her feelings for him and his response back then. Then, all he could see was her smiles, over and over again and how her face lit up whenever she saw him. All he could remember was her warmth and how it felt to hold her hand or her body against his. All he could remember was his heartbeats increasing whenever she was near, how whole he felt by her sides. She was gone and he's never felt so alone in millennia.

He screamed, turning into a blue being of energy that blasted everything in his room. His siblings could hear him and for a brief moment, because he accidentally connected them together, they could feel his sadness although they didn't understand why. Alerted by this sudden burst of emotion, the siblings moved from their realms and arrived at his door. They noticed the pool of blood and when they opened the door, they found their brother back to normal and laid on his front. The spell had worked wonders and he didn't remember his beloved Elpis. Their lifetime together and bond had been permanently severed.

But did it?

Millennia later, circa the XXIst century, the young elder, still trapped within a human body gathered enough strength to manifest herself inside of her host. Memories appeared through dreams. Memories of him. The spell was weakened and there was a chance for both of the cursed lovers to find each other once again.

~.~ I will always find you, in this life or another. ~.~

S.O.A: Enter Elias Tobbins

A/N just explaining a little bit of my OC :)  All the rest but Elias Tobbins and Asma Jensen belong to their respective owners

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Elias « Scar » Tobbins stared at the broken bike in front of him with an empty gaze. He still had the spanner in his hand but it was useless. The man wasn't a mechanic and you'd think that after all these years owning a Harley he'd known how to fix it, but this time the damage was beyond his skills. Luckily for him, he was only a few miles away from the next small town: Charming, so he decided to walk his bike over there and see if they could fix it. He could still play in his mind the day he learned about the terrible fate of his family. How his sister-in-law, Carol Thompson discovered the mutilated bodies of her sister and her niece. Both suffered from the hands of the Nordics, a white supremacist gang that couldn't accept in the very least that his wife was a bi-racial saleswoman who made a fortune and came back to her hometown in order to raise her child there. T

hey threatened her, tried to make her leave, called her names and then became more and more violent. If only she left when they asked her to, maybe she would still be alive today. Elias was blaming himself for not having been able to know something was going on. He knew his wife, he knew when she was holding back from him and yet he decided to let her do as she pleased. They only had a couple of weeks left before he could join his family, some business in Chicago was holding him back. Some business. How meaningless it became to him. He slowly went down the gutter, underperforming to the point he lost his job, falling into alcohol and becoming a drunkard, spending days and night asking himself what he did wrong and how he could have saved his family from such gruesome murders. How could a man like him overcome such drama?

He lost his will to live and sunk so deep into depression that he tried to take his own life. The cold metal of the gun against his mouth gave him an epiphany. He needed to avenge his family. He needed to find and kill the people who killed his loved ones. Elias entered the city. He's been to Charming in the past, some ten years ago and he met his wife there. The place didn't change. There still was that restaurant he took Marianne to in order to propose to her. There still was their favorite shop where they had « organic food » she loved so much. He paused for a while as he noticed a new shop, a tattoo one where « get out Nigger » was tagged in red and a singular pink haired woman was painting over it. She paused for a while, grabbed her bottle of Jack and gulped it down before he interrupted her with his gruff voice.

« Excuse me. I kinda broke my bike and I need to fix it. » -She tilted her head to the side and curbed a brow at him.-

« Don't I look busy right now? » -She spat at him before taking another sip of her beverage. -

« I can see that. Listen, I can help you get it done faster if you tell me where I can have my bike fixed. »

«....Sounds fair. I'll save you the troubles There's the Teller-Morrow Automotive Repair nearby.Just pick up this street, turn to the left and then the right. Follow the road for a couple of blocks and then you'll have your Automotive repair. » She then leaned against her front door and crossed her arms over her chest. Their eyes met and for a brief moment, Elias gave her a faint smirk.

« They're kinda making it hard for you as I see. » To which she replied with a slight shrug.

« Nothing I ain't used to. I don't care really. »She sounded like his dead wife.

Elias furrowed his brow for a while, concerned for a brief moment about the safety of this woman but then he reminded himself that if he was back in this town it was to seek revenge.

« Be careful with these people. I heard they were kinda mean out there. » He said walking closer to her.

Asma swallowed hard but kept staring at this complete stranger with a questioning look.He didn't seem to be scared and he looked familiar with the place. She lifted a brow.

« Nothing I haven't seen before. Excuse me, what are you doing? » She said as he outstretched his hand to grab the brush she still had in her hand.

« Keeping my word to you. I said I'd help you go faster with the painting over. »

« I don't need it. » She said, looking up to that huge and broad man before her. He kept moving his hand towards her and in a stupid moment of panic, she dropped her bottle of Jack. When he bent over to start grabbing the shards she shook her head and hands. « Don't! Don't please. It's my mess. I'm gonna clean it. I don't. You don't have to help me paint over that crap. I can do it on my own. Thanks. » She looked at him, uncomfortable to have him this close to her. Elias stepped backward and gave her a sheepish grin.

« Okay, pretty lady. I won't insist. I'll give it back to you someday though. »

« Ah... You sound like I'm going to see you a lot more. » « It might just be that. » He replied as he walked back to his bike. Asma nervously clenched and unclenched her fists until she finally braced herself enough to speak to him.

« Err.... Just in case I might want you to.. keep your word, who should I call? » She said, allowing herself to give him a sheepish smile. He stared at her beautiful face and chuckled lightly.

« A guy named Elias. Elias Tobbins. What about you princess? »

« Don't princess me! The name's Asma. Asma Jensen. » She said, feeling her cheeks burn as obviously he was making her blush for no reason at all. Elias grinned and waved at her with one hand as he took off.

« Well, Be careful out there Miss Jensen. You never know what might come your way. » And he left.

As he walked he had to remind himself that no matter how sweet and maybe naive this woman was, his mind was set on his revenge. His plan was perfect. He could stay in the murder house, their house and from where would begin to investigate. Hopefully, he'd find out the leader and the members of the Nordics. He heard they weren't active anymore but a cockroach would never leave its nasty nest and they would never leave Charming. They might be reformed, they still were a threat he was hell-bent on destroying. The brunet's bloodthirst was torturing him but once he would get his hands on smuggled guns and do a « Punisher » on these guys. As he walked he realized that the pink hottie didn't lie to him and finally found his way to the Teller-Morrow joint. He entered the place and cleared his voice.

« Anybody's here? I'd need a little fixin'. »

He came prepared with a bag full of cash he was able to save during his years spent in a hell hole. Enough to handle the year to come, buy guns, booze, and maybe company. He grabbed the bag and secured his gun on his back. A simple Glock was the gun he registered but Elias knew he'd need better and bigger firearms if he wanted to win this war.

S.o.A; reclaiming

S.O.A: reclaiming

A/N: My tragic lovers. He claimed her once more because he knows he can't live without her and she let him, knowing full well that it would be the death of her but she can't live without him either. Wait until she discovers the secret he's hiding from her. Wait until he discovers the secret she's been hiding from him.

Everything but the locations, the licensed characters  and the lore belong to me (Elias Tobbins, Asma Jensen, their families and their own properties) 

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« I can't really get you out of my head, princess. » He said with a defeated tone.

He really couldn't. He tried to reject her, for both of their sakes. He was hell-bent on revenge and she was way too damaged and secretive about her past. How could this work? How could they work? She still didn't know he was a criminal and had blood on his hands and he knew how much she'd be disappointed if she ever knew the truth. He couldn't make her his old lady and he couldn't even tell her anything about the SONS or his criminal activities. And yet, he couldn't get over her. Her scent, her laughter, her loving gaze or even her moans.

New year Eve sucked for him and he couldn't even admit it. He spent both Christmas and the New Year talking to the graves of his late wife and child. He would be there, talking about his plan, blaming himself for not having been able to save them, and also about how guilty he felt about flirting and occasionally fucking a stranger. He got drunk and ended up wasted at home with canned food to keep up with his drinking. Hers wasn't better. She did drink a lot, passed out from it and barely ate. He rejected her and she couldn't bring herself to hating him or getting him out of her head.

They both woke up with a severe headache and decided to go to their favorite joint in town in order to grab some coffee and enjoy some of the City's afterglow and accidentally bumped into each other. At first, a fake smile graced her features, as an automatic gesture so he wouldn't be bothered by her but he knew when she was telling a lie and this prompted him to actually talk to her and even offer to share a few minutes drinking their coffee instead of drinking it alone. A joke here, another one there and she ended up looking at him with a more sincere gaze. One that let him know how much she loved to be by his side and how much she wanted to run away from him and her own feelings. At some point, she emptied her cup and left the place but he chased after her and grabbed her hand. The tattoo artist's first reaction was to push his hand away and groan a painful « No ! » but he held tighter and dared her to look into his eyes. She first refused but then she perceived the need in his tone. He needed her attention! He needed to talk to her, he needed her and it made her look at him but she was still stiff. When he finally said the words that had been burning his chest for so long, her eyes grew wide and she ponders for a while the very sentence he just said.

« Why do you torture me, Elias? » She finally said with a broken voice before chewing at her bottom lip. « Why would you say something like that? » -He stroked her cheek and shrugged.-

« I don't know....It's driving me crazy to be so far away from you. All I could think about was you. I need you in my life. »

The need wasn't what she actually wanted. She didn't want to be needed, she wanted to be loved. She wanted to be appreciated. Yes, he might have been obsessed with her, she could tell by the way he was staring at her, but it wasn't loved, there was no love in his gaze. He needed her, for sure. He wanted her but she was craving his love and she knew she would not get it straight away. It sent a shiver down her spine and she moistened her lips. He cupped her chin and pulled her against his broader frame. It made her groan softly but then he crashed his lips against hers. Her hands slowly went up to his neck she held in a tender gesture that contrasted with the eagerness of the kiss. She gently pulled away from him and sighed.

« I guess that you needing me is all I can afford for now. » She said with a resigned look on her face.

It couldn't have gone any different and she knew that he cared for her. It maybe was the only shot at happiness that would happen to both of them and maybe, if she allowed herself to fall in love with him, he might return her feelings. It all sounded foolish and childish but what wouldn't a woman do for a little bit of hope? He cupped her cheek again, his heart beating at a fast pace as he couldn't have enough of her taste and he planted another kiss on her lips, this time slower, more patient as he wanted to relish in her taste and scent. She closed her eyes and returned the kiss.

What wouldn't you do for a little bit of hope?

S.O.A: rejection

S.o.A: Rejection :

A/N: Trying my hand at Elias x Asma relationship, my tragic lovers. Both are damaged in their own way and both are fatally attracted to one another but when their relationship is taking a different turn, both have to make a choice. Asma made hers and confronted him with her feelings but he chose a different path. They care a lot about one another and maybe at some point both would want the same thing and even have it, but it's not going to last.

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His large hand grabbed her neck and his thumb stroked her soft cheek. His face was stern and tensed for he knew he would have to take a tough decision. Life was throwing lemons at him, once more. He was on a revenge trip but meeting Asma almost jeopardized it. She was damaged yes, he cared for her yes, but he couldn't give up on his goal for her pretty eyes. Those hazel eyes were giving him a worried look, one that was almost anticipating his upcoming words. She fell for him, he knew that. The way she spoke to him, the way she flirted with him and even her attempts at sobering up gave it away. After a couple of months spent in Charming, Asma finally gathered some courage and decided to tell him how she felt about him. « I think I'm falling for you. » It was thrown at him like a brick and the only response Elias could come up with was holding her neck and stroking her cheek.

Did he want to give into her feelings ? Give it a try? His blue eyes were gleaming with intensity as he was thinking of a decent reply. A solid minute passed and Asma realized that he might not share her feelings at all. After all, he'd just told her that he was a widow and lost a child to a gruesome murder. What did she expect? How foolish was that? He could feel her tense against him, he could see hope leave those pretty eyes as she was now expecting him to reject her. Elias remained silent, only a little more as he was still processing the situation in his mind. He liked her yes. He liked her but he wasn't in love with her. How could he? For about a year his heart was bleeding out because he lost the love of his life and his child. How could he open his heart again? How could he love again? And Asma... Asma was a lovely girl, but a damaged one. He didn't know everything but he was aware of an Oscar that kept haunting her dreams. He could see on her body, despite her tattoos, the harm that was done to her and yes he wanted to protect her. He wanted her to be safe, he needed her to be alright, stop drinking so much eventually and just enjoy her life. But he wasn't the best suited for that. He was way too dark for her and at best they would consume each other and destroy each other.

« You are so silent. » Asma finally told him. Her hazel eyes slowly getting filled with unshed tears. It made his heart sink for he knew she understood.

« I know. » He started with, his voice more guttural than usual. « I'm sorry about that. »

« I see » she sighed and tried to give him a smile but it failed. « Let's just say what you have to say. »

« You can't say that. I'm not the stranger who walked his bike into the town looking for a quick fixin' and you're not the girl who painted over racial slurs on her front door. » It made her chuckle.

« What are we then? » She put her hand on his chest and felt how tensed he actually was.

« I don't know... friends to say the very least. » He said, looking at her with an apologetic face.

« Friends.... » She repeated it, more to herself than to him. « I don't know if I want to be your friend Elias. » She said with a broken voice. « It's not...I don't know if I can do that. » She whispered before a shiver went down her spine and she slowly pulled away from him.

« Asma. We're adults. We can make it work. » She kept her fake smile on her lips, which disturbed him more than he thought it would. Why wasn't she screaming? Why wasn't she kicking a chair or something? He hated it when she swallowed her feelings and pretended to be fine, mostly because he could see she wasn't. « Talk to me, babe. »

« What is there for me to say? I am the one hanging on a reply from you. I said I thought I was falling for you and you just stayed there, stroking my cheek and staring at me. You want to be an adult? Then say NO to my face! Say No and get it done. Say NO! » She was shaking and shook her head at her own small outburst. Her smile vanished and she was just left there staring at him with her hands on her waist.

« ….......................... » She figured it out. Well, she was smart, she would have. Elias stroked the back of his neck and then looked away but she taunted him.

« What is taking you so long Elias? I saw you beat the crap out of a man in a bar fight! You didn't think twice before you hit him so why are you taking so long to hit me too? »

« I don't want to hurt you! Do you think this is easy for me? I don't want to come off as an asshole! I don't want you to think that I fucked you because I could and I don't give a crap! I give a damn crap about you! I care. »

« You don't. » She sneered. « If you did, you'd tell me you don't feel the same way. You'd tell me you don't want more than what we have. That you'd be around for shit and giggles and occasionally fuck me. That you can't get past your wife and child deaths, that you are still in love with her or that maybe I'm not your type and you can't fall in love with a girl like me! ANYTHING !!! you can tell me ANYTHING! I can take a blow. I can take many in case you didn't know! So go ahead! Give me your best shot! »

«Asma? What the fuck are you doing? »

« Saving ourselves some troubles.Don't leave me hanging. I need to hear it from you. » She said, scratching her arm and stomping on the floor. « Don't leave me hanging, just get it done. »

« You're looking for reasons to drink again. » He came up with it, mostly because he couldn't bring himself to be the reason for her drinking habit. He could see how hard she was trying to keep some composure and he realized that he hated to see her like this but she had a point.

« No. Not this time. I need to understand why you don't feel the same for me. Why you're able to make love to me as if I was the most important person on Earth one day, and reject my feelings the other day. I want to understand why you don't want to be with me. I need you to help me I need... I need... I fucking need you to answer to me so do it already! » She said looking away.

Each of her words hurt Elias but he couldn't just know why. He was well aware that by acting the way he did, he was jeopardizing a possible future for him, a reason to move on. He was turning his back on her and on happiness and maybe a part of him was mourning the future he would never have. He owed her a reply but he couldn't talk about his revenge, nor the SONS. He couldn't involve her in his crap and she made some solid points. He was still in love with his dead wife and couldn't let go of them. He just couldn't.

«Fine. Fine. Look, princess, I can't be with you. Not now, not later. I can never be with you because I will always be in love with my dead wife. She was the love of my life, she will always be. I care about you, I care very much about you and I want you to be safe and happy but you and I.. it's not a winning team. » He said with a convincing tone. It didn't require too many efforts since it actually wasn't a lie except that he could have been falling for her if he allowed himself to. He would have made a move on her if he wasn't looking for revenge. He would have given them a shot. But he didn't.

« Thank you. » Asma replied as she quietly took a deep breath. « Now that everything is settled, there's no need for us to mention it again. You don't love me, I do love you, I shall just deal with it. Now that's what I call being clear. Now we can go on our merry ways. » She turned on her heels. « You're still welcome if you want a tat or something. You're still welcome if you want to have a drink with me. It's not like I'd stop talking to you just because you don't want me. » Her voice was shaking and her throat was strangled so he knew she was about to run away.

« Sure thing. We'd do that. You're still welcome here. » He said quickly so she could leave and she did. She walked downstairs and exited his house so fast that he saw her silhouette from the window. His guts were upset and he took a moment to sit on the bed and contemplate what had just happened and what lied in the future for him. He chose revenge and he was going to complete his mission but he knew he hurt her and the mere thought was also hurting him.

Asma ran, she quickly went back to her home and closed the door behind her. She started to sob and slowly slide to the ground where she held her head between her hands. Being rejected by Elias hut her more than she believed it would. Tears were rolling down her cheeks for she was unable to stop them.It hurt but she expected it to happen anyway. He lost a wife. He lost a child. How was she going to compete against it? He cared for her, she knew that. If he didn't, he wouldn't try to temper her drinking habit, he wouldn't even make love to her, he wouldn't be so sweet and fun and pleasant with her. He wouldn't be like that. He cared. He cared.....

But why did it hurt that much then ?

Why ?

Stupid heart.