Klasma: As I lay bare before you.

As I lay bare before you, I want you to pay attention to me. 

I want you to see the way I am looking at you,  as warmth engulfed me upon setting my eyes on you. 

I want you to see the way I say your name, with infinite sweetness that I reserve only for those I love. 

I want you to see the way I search for your contact, as I crave the sensation of your skin against mine. 

I want you to pay attention to me. 

As I lay bare before you, I want you to focus on what words cannot express. 

I want you to see the way my skin gets covered in goosebumps whenever you're near me.

I want you to notice how my breathing becomes more labored as you whisper in my ear.

I want you to notice how vulnerable I make myself be, lowering my tall walls for you. 

I want you to pay attention to my feelings. 

As I lay bare before you, I want you to focus on how I feel about you. 

I want you to see the tears your sharp tongue elicits from me when you lose your temper. 

I want you to hear the sound of my breaking heart when you decide to push me away from you. 

I want you to smell the salty tears that roll down my cheeks as you stomp on my heart and rip it apart.

I want you to pay attention to my love for you. 

As I lay bare before you, I want you to focus on my love for you! 

I want you to see that no matter how hard you push me away, I won't give up on you. 

I want you to see that no matter how you think of you, I know your heart! I know your pain! 

I want you to see that no matter how much you hate yourself, I love you. 

I want you to hear me out! I want you to see as I lay my bare before you! 

Look at me!

Look at me! 

Look at me! 

A vintage's touch: the Father and the Son

 The Father and the Son. 

The family she didn't dare claim out loud.

The Father and the Son.

The son lapsus reveals a more profound desire.

The Father's silence, hiding a truth untold.

Bearer of good news and of hidden fears.

An overwhelming silence she can't stand.

A love so intense, so pure yet kept away, 

for neither of them was ready to give in

Neither of them was willing to lose more.

The Father, the Son, and the dead mother. 

The Father, the Son, and the Step-Mother. 

The Husband, the wife, and their child.

Not picture-perfect, but not a lie either.

The Father, the Son, and a new Life.

both desired but didn't try to have.

Or so they thought."

Devotion

Devotion, exhaustion, Destruction.

She sucked the life out of me, begging, manipulating, crying, and forcing her way into my brain.

I couldn't think for myself, I had become a slave to her desires and decisions. I had become empty.

I didn't have the strength to fight her nor to find myself again. It became easier for me to give into her.

It became easier for me to let her walk me through the fire, tear my limbs apart, devour me. 

She devoured me, swallowed me whole, and threw me into an endless fall or dare I say, Limbos. 

Devotion, Exhaustion, Annihilation.

She considered us as commodities. I was nothing but a tool used to satisfy her ego.

I was nothing but a means for her to get what she wanted, what she truly desired.

She wanted to be free of us. She wanted to be free of me. She wanted a different life.

I swear I believe that if she could not have had me, she wouldn't have gotten pregnant.

If she could have given us for adoption, she would have done it. She wasn't meant for motherhood.

She wasn't meant for having a family because she was unable to give. She was unable to love. 

Devotion, Exhaustion, Transformation

She wanted to be the most important person in the whole world, she hated competition.

Yet, she still compared herself to others, even to her own children, even to me. 

She couldn't accept that we grew to become the people we wanted to be, with our dreams and desires.

She wanted dolls, puppets she could manipulate to do her bidding, not people! Not children.

She refused to change and refused to see what she did wrong and what she could change.

I transformed, we transformed and we set ourselves free from her, or at least we tried to do so.

We tried and we succeed but there would always be that part of us she could reach out to.

I guess that's how it is. How I hate it! 

She tried to swallow me whole. She tried to suffocate me with her overbearing ways and failed.

I told her that we break cycles and we no longer want to repeat what she did or has been through.

I told her that I would never be like her, and she said she would pray to never become like me.

I told her that I would never be HER! 

And I don't want to be. I don't want to be. I want to break free! 

And I will be! 

Witchy hour: Maelström

(Witchy hour) 

"Leave! Run away! You don't belong here! There's nothing you can do that would change the curse cast upon you. You aren't to be loved nor accepted by neither Men, Lycans, Vampires or Witches. We loathe you! We hate you! We will destroy you. now Leave! Run! There's no death for you because we give you eternal life! There's no love for you, for you are a monster, a freak, a beast to be slayed."

Oh it hurt. Oh it hurt so much. For centuries she hid and ran away. She faced their hatred. She had to become stronger and she managed to just do it over time. Aasma was ruthless, knowledgeable and powerful but no matter the amount of spells she could cast, her heart was empty. Her heart was in pain. 

She had cursed her situation, cursed the supreme who punished her for helping Elijah Mikaelson. She never regretted her choice to help. Witches helped. They saved lives. She even owed her own life to Elijah and decided to repay his kindness with a gesture on her part. She had cursed the fact she was forced to endure pain endlessly because of a kind act. What was the point? Did she deserve it?  Perhaps. 

The witch tried to protect her heart as much as she could. She tried to keep it safe from feelings, pretended she felt nothing when her heart was bleeding.. She couldn't keep her distance from others. It didn't matter if they were witches, werewolves, humans or vampires. She would help everyone just the same but would not get attached. She would reign in her anger. She would hold back her true feelings and she would watch all those souls crossing her path. She would witness their lives unfold, relationships they would have, make-ups, breaks-ups, families even and she would look at herself and her own miserable life. 

She was miserable. That was the truth. 

She was misunderstood. That was the truth.

She was lonely. Oh... how true was that statement? 

She noticed him sitting on a barstool. Drinking alone. 

And she decided to go to him, to seek his company, to bond.

And bond they did. 

And care, she did. 

She cared for him, knowing full well that he would hurt her.

She cared for him, knowing full well that she would hurt him.

She realized that she meant no more than a tool for Elijah

and she realized she could not mean more for anyone. 

And it felt unfair. 

Oh it was unfair... 

But a curse was a curse and nothing could come against it.

She couldn't cure herself unless maybe she knew true love.

But how could a beast like him love a beast like her? 

How could she give him what he needs, when he didn't open up?

How could he give her what she needs, when he can't be stable?

When he would take the first opportunity to tear her heart apart?

When he would loath himself so much he wouldn't let her in? 

When he would comfirm all of her self-doubt, self-hatred? 

When she would awake his deeply buried fear of being left behind?

Because he would say something he shouldn't have,

Because she would do something she shouldn't do,

Because they were two miserable souls unable to be loved.

Because she was afraid of it actually working...

How do you deal when someone actually cares for you? 

How do you deal when the song is a different one? 

How do you sing to it? 

How do you dance to it? 

How do you recognize it? 

She didn't know. She didn't think of it all.

What she thought of, however, was that she cared for him.

She wanted him to be alright, she wanted him to know he mattered

She wanted him to know he was more than the "Original"

He was more than a beast, more than a man, more than a vampire

He was Klaus...He was all...He was everything

And she understood...

Oh, she understood. 

The misadventures of Eros and Thanatos: My tender love.

The misadventures of Eros and Thanatos: My tender love.

In the dead of the night, when thoughts are the clearest, I turn my head and look at you. Watching you so peacefully sleep overwhelms me with warmth. I feel lucky because I get to be the one who could watch you sleep. I get to be the one who could stare at you while you're at peace. I get to be the one you entrust with your safety and your well-being. Do you know how beautiful you are when you sleep? When there are no worries in the world and your body so nonchalantly turns around? Do you know how sweet it is for me to watch you curl against me? Search for the comfort of my body? Even in your sleep, you make me feel like I'm the only soul in the world. You make me feel like we're only two and we're enough just together.

In the dead of the night, when thoughts are the clearest, my tender love, I am in awe. I can feel your steady breathing over my skin, the sweet rhythm of your heartbeats that serenades me, even in your sleep. You make it feel safe right there. Right here. My heart beats at your pace, slowly matching the soothing beat. My mind's at peace, right there, with your beautiful face as the only focus of the night. And the love I feel for you making my own heart soar. Oh, I love you so! I love when there's no demons and nightmares when we are together. I love how your arm wraps around my frame to keep me closer to you and I love to feel the warm breath of yours brush over the skin of my neck. You protect me, even in your sleep.

In the dead of the night, when thoughts are the clearest, here you are staring at me. Silence is comfortable for we don't need words to say « I love you. », we don't need words to say we care. All I need is the way you look at me, with wonder and curiosity, with a tempest in your soul followed by the calm of the sea, with excitement and fondness... with the sense of « I belong » written all over it. It's a gaze filled with love, one I never knew could exist. And I look at you, vulnerable, invincible, and in the same turmoil as yours. I look at you with sparkles in the eyes and fireworks in the heart. I look at you as I would look at the beautiful landscape I could see from the Porsche of my second residence in Summer. I look at you as I would when I go home after a long day. I feel at home with you. I feel myself with you. I feel alive... My tender love, how I love you!

In the dead of the night, when thoughts are the clearest, here you are smiling at me. And the heavyweight I carried on my shoulders, all of a sudden disappears. I tremble and shake whenever you smile at me and I feel unshed tears fill my eyes. You are such a work of art, of pure unbridled art that graced my sight. Your face always lit up when you look at me and it always moves me. It always makes me smile and always makes me burn inside. My tender love, how I love you. This love is serene, it is because /I/ know. I don't need you to prove to me your love. I don't need you to go out of your ways to love me or show me you care. Because the devil is in the little details and I already know that you love me. You love me when you look at me. You love me when we laugh together. You love me when you cook something for me. You love me when you let me do what I love and you love me when you trust me with people who aren't you. My tender love.. how could I not fall in love with you? How could I not want eternity with you?

MOET: A light int he dark

MOET: A light int he dark 

A/N uncertain times, lead to anxiety.

XXXX

I have always dreamed of a cookie perfect future, where I would have it together.

I kept burdening my shoulders with an unnecessary weight over the years.

And as expected, I ended up being overwhelmed and disappointed.

How could I not be, when I was the one to set the bar so high?

I thought my life had only meant when I « became » something.

The dreams I tried to fulfilled and the goals I tried to achieve were not realistic.

The pressure I put on myself was so strong that it ended up suffocating me.

And when my future slipped through my fingers and, I didn't reach my goals?

I crumbled.

What was the point of my life if I wasn't able to « become » who I wanted to be?

If I didn't correct my imperfection and snapped those picture-perfect moments of my life?

What was I if not a fraud? What was I, if not unhappy?

I forgot how it was to enjoy my life the way it was. I forgot how it was to be me.

I couldn't tell if it was time convincing me that I was nothing, or the constant failures that did it.

The air became suffocating and I couldn't breathe. That's what happened since my dreams.shattered.

I couldn't move forward, I couldn't breathe and I lost myself into the darkness that was my life.

There was nothing left but darkness, so I decided to drift away until it swallowed me whole... until...

Light pierced through the dark.

Love came to me, victorious already. I could feel its warm light embraces my dried-out heart.

I could feel it destroy the darkness that surrounded me and bathe me in its righteous light.

It embraced me, comforted me and like a mother to a crying child, it cradled me.

« You're more than enough » she whispered to me and like a child, I ended up weeping.

MOET: THE EGG

THE EGG :

I was an egg once, in pristine condition, untainted by the world around me.

My heart was filled with Hope, Love, and Trust as I grew.

I believed people would take care of me when I hatched into this new world.

I believed in their kindness and willingness to protect the weak and vulnerable souls.

But I was wrong.

I was an egg once, and as my egg hatched, I soared into this world feeling beautiful.

Here I was, new, shiny, with a beautiful set of heavy feathered wings!

Here I was, eager to grow in power, self-confidence, and love.

I used to love me. so much so that I felt I could survive anything, But I was mistaken. 

There was no wonderland in the world I was born into.  It was a nightmare

They tore me into pieces, destroyed my very soul, and ruined the love I had for myself.

I was an egg once, in pristine condition, but I was tainted by the world around me.

I lost all Hope I had on mankind, I lost the dreams I had about this new world.

I lost the love I had for myself and replaced it with self-hatred, doubt, and venom.

I wasn't enough, and I would never be enough. I could never fit in, and I would never be wanted.

They made me drift away and lose myself in the never-ending questioning.

They made me cry and made me curse at them for doing so.

They made me wish I had never been born into this cruel world with such a bright soul.

I was an egg once, in pristine condition but none of this makes sense to me anymore.

It was what it was, I was born a certain way,

but the ways of this world had changed me forever.

That's what it does. It changes you.

That's what it did, it changed me.

elise and Asma

She is one of a kind, extraordinary
Maybe it was the way she danced with death
Or the fact she looked flawless while doing so
That attracted me to her. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't.

You couldn't keep her in a box, she couldn't be defined by words
There was a mystery to her, some contradictions too,
For she was the night yet she was the Light.
She was Death but she could give you Life.

She was a hurricane and yet still so very calm.
And you could mistake her patience with a weakness
While all she did was assess you before she struck hard.
I was in love.

I chose her a while ago, her and my King. Forever a duo.
I brought my Light and my Hope and tangled with them
mixed it with their beautiful chaos to create something more.
I chose them a while ago and never looked back since then.

My life finally had meaning and only because they were there.
Because she was there,
My beautiful daughter of Death.

Who is she?

I lost a girl who I once knew,
Not really understanding how and why it happened.
I always hear about her, from people who she once knew
But I forgot everything about this girl, I lost her.
Me... I lost myself.

I am the girl of that story, the one everyone knows a piece of.
I am the girl of that story, the one who got lost over the years.
Could it be that growing up made me lose that girl? Could it be?
I highly doubt, because when I look deeper into it, I realize that I don't know.
This girl, I never knew her.

Who is she?

I realized that I never knew her. As far as I can remember, there's nothing about her that stands out.
She was there, she existed, but she always was just a mist, nothing tangible, nothing real.
She was whoever others wanted her to be, she moulded herself after someone else's desire.
This girl wanted to be loved, to be accepted, she felt so inadequate that she tried to erase everything.
But that's the irony of it, there was nothing, to begin with.

Who is she?

I wept a lot for this girl I don't know.
I look at all the things she could have been but never was.
I look at all the hardships she had to overcome, just to make herself a place under the sun.
I look at her tears and her anger, I still feel the shivers she got because she felt empty inside.
I lost this girl. I lost her. And I have tried to find her again.
But I can't. She never was, to begin with, she just can't be.

Who is she?

There is only one way to go from now. It is forward.
I will move forward, reinvent myself in the process and I have been doing just that over the years.
Gliding through life, jumping from one trauma to another, destroying and rebuilding everything.
I did that! I reinvented myself, for every piece of me people took with them was nothing but a facet.
I'm a diamond. That's what I am. I shine too hard, I can't break that easily, I'm the hardest that is.

I am a diamond.

That's who she is. That's who I am. I have many facets, as many as there can be. I am complex.
I have to be worked on, over and over again until finally, I can reveal myself, my true shiny self.
I am a diamond, there's nothing else that I can be. Life knocked me out so many times but look at me.
I'm still here... I'm still here... I exist! I reinvent myself and live another life as my new me.
Yet I still need to know who that girl was and if I have truly lost her. Truth is... I haven't.
I have never lost her. I clawed my way through the dark, cut myself a piece of the sun.
I am still alive and kicking, alive and breathing, alive and trying. I simply am.

I never lost her, but I never took the time to know her. This girl. Me.
Now I have just started to unpack everything and by Gaea, she's a badass!
I'm a badass.

I'm a diamond.

Love and Me

Love and  I aren't friends. We might even say we're frenemies.
Because you know, I do love LOVE. I enjoy its company, I adore its thrills.
But Love always tricks me into looking at the wrong direction, finding the wrong people
And made me experience both the best and the worst when I fell in love.
Or so I thought.

I don't mind loving people, I love people, maybe as much as I hate them.
I don't mind having friends, having a family even though the circus is the same.
The joy of adding a new member to the family we choose is exciting and terrifying at the same time.
The excitement over someone old who is still in our lives is worth the efforts we put in said relation

The pain is stinging the same too. But I take the risk because I know how to handle it.

Love and I aren't friends. We might even say we're frenemies.
Because when Love makes me fall in love, it is always a glorious chaos.
A blender of fear and excitement, of hopes and disappointments and rare success.
It's a rainbow of emotions, maybe we could say the emotional spectrum of the lantern corps.
I feel as much as Hal Jordan than Larfleeze than Star Sapphire and how could I forget,  Saint Walker?

But maybe I am much more a mix of Sinestro and Atrocitus,
The perfect harmony between rage and fear for I fear to lose it all and I am angry at my old losses.
Maybe it has more to do with how I feel about myself rather than how I feel about the other.
The other is always up there, in the sun, bringing me hope and giving me unconditional love.
But I still have to Batman my way into it, don't I? Question everything, investigate.

Maybe it's how it should be, protect your heart and prepare for the worst.
However, preparing for the worst prevented me to taste the better.. mostly because I do not believe...
I do not believe it does exist. How could someone genuinely love me?
How could someone genuinely walk the walk with me and make the efforts I need?
How could I be sure I wouldn't end up distraught like I used to?

And from the shambles of my heart, it's the void you'd find instead?
Am I not one step closer to feeling numb? feeling nothing because I am tired of it all?
Or are these just reasons to avoid that conversation with Love?
Because I want to make Love sit and have a serious talk with it.
I want Love to be honest with me, show me the struggle, show me the scars, show me the cracks.
I want Love to show me hope too, show me how to fix the breaches, how to fill that heart with Love.

I want to ask Love about me. How do I do to finally love myself?
How do I  fight back the skeletons in the closet, the nightmares waiting to happen?
How do I get to ignore the scary voice in my head, the hurtful words I throw at myself?
How do I love myself? I wish to ask Love, but I know I can't.
Like Magneto, it always escapes, promising to come back with a vengeance.
Like Xavier, I allow that to happen, because I know that deep inside, it's misunderstood.
Maybe twisted, maybe wrecked up, maybe the lenses I use to look at it are deformed.

Or life forged me this way, past traumas I can't seem to overcome.
Or maybe I am simply not ready, the ladder is already there, I just need to see it, take the first step.
All of this is chaos in my head...

but "Chaos is a ladder", so I should climb that one and see what comes next.

The moon thief

« I am chasing the moon when all I should do is bury myself in the dirt »

He heard her laments as she was wondering why her life was so empty and disappointing.

He watched as she wept in the dark, her face bathed in the warm light of the moon.

He watched as she gave up and knelt on the floor, imploring the moon's mercy to end it all.

And it broke his heart to see her like this.

« I did as they said, I dreamed big but my dreams were delusions, lies I kept telling myself. »

She laid on the floor, her body curled into a ball as her arms wrapped around her legs.

She had given up after so many fruitless attempts to fight and keep standing. She had given up.

Her heart broke and he heard the sound of its shattered pieces turning into dust. He heard her die

And it broke his heart to see her like this.

« There's not such a thing as dreaming too big. You deserve to want a better life. »

He finally said to her, bracing enough courage to actually step into her life and talk to her.

She shook her head, hearing his words but not understanding them anymore. How could she listen?

He knew the fight would be a tough one because she needed more than words, she needed hope.

So he decided to give her hope, yes, he would find it for her.

He went and stole the moon and as he held it in his shaking hands, he realized what he just did

He stole the moon to give it to her so she wouldn't have to chase after her, he did it for her.

His love for her moved the moon who simply complied. She didn't resist, she didn't fight back.

She let him take her to his beloved, now that he had stepped her and lived in his truth.

She would also help the broken heart see her light and stand back up.

« I brought you the moon so you wouldn't think you couldn't reach out to her. »

He did it, really he did, out of love for the kind withering soul he wanted to bring back to life.

He did it for her and as he knelt in front of the beautiful woman, the thief handed her the moon

She sat on the floor, her hands shakily and coyly trying to touch the moon as he encouraged her

« I brought you the moon to show you that you don't need her to feel alive and important. »

He told her almost choking on his own words.

« Why did you do that? » She asked, confused and worried as her fingers still had not touched it

She felt humbled by such a gesture, scared by such a sacrifice and impressed by such devotion.

He, whose existence she never noticed until then, made such a selfless act for her sake, out of love

And the way he looked at her encouraged the broken soul to touch the moon and feel alive again.

Its soft energy fueled her, the warmth and love of the goddess in the sky shone upon her

And she understood that the moon goddess always listened to her, was aware of her and so was he

«I cannot thank you enough for what you did. You just gave me the moon, from your own will. »

He smiled at her words and kindly released the Moon Goddess who returned to the sky

« My child, you have always been imbued with my light from the day you were born. »

The moon said in a soft nurturing voice while the thief held the hand of the newborn goddess

« You thought you didn't make an impact in this world, that your light was dead and gone. »

She continued as the newborn goddess looked up to her mother the moon, was she wrong?

« You were wrong. Your light never died. Your light shone upon this young soul who took me to you out of love. Your light reached out to me, your mother so I could remind you what you were made of. It is you and you only who gave him enough strength to move a mountain for you, to make you feel better. Your compassion called him and now here you are, born again by your own means. »

« I touched you, mother. I touched the soft light of yours. You brought me to life. »

She wasn't sure of how to respond to her mother since she felt that she wasn't wrong.

« No, child. Love did. You did. He did.  LOVE gave you the strength to stand back up»

Love did, the love he felt for the new goddess prompted the man to steal the moon

The need to see her alive and happy motivated him to accomplish this deed

The need to see her direct her compassion towards herself was the key to this success.

« What kind of love ? » asked the newborn goddess

« The love you found for yourself. » answered the moon.

That was what missed all along. 

you're a survivor

You thought you were broken, that the wound was so deep that it would never heal.

you thought you were broken, that nothing good would ever come from you. That you were ruined from within and forever.

You thought everyone would see what you tried to hide so desperately. You thought it would be marked on your skin, written all over your body with Red Iron.

And you've never been so wrong!

From your invisible wounds, life grew and filled the holes left into your being with beauty.

From the wasteland that once was your heart, a jungle came to be. Untamed, proud, thick and lush. A parkour you only open to the ones who truly loved you.

You survived! It might seem like nothing but it is everything.
You survived! And this is what people would see if you let them in.
You survived! And you turned this violence into something else,

You fill the heart and lives of your loved ones with the love you were deprived so harshly and this is turning ugliness into beauty.

You could fall into the pits of rage and nobody would blame you.
And fall into the hell of insecurity and fear and they would know
In fact, you will. Sometimes the memory would drive you insane.
And you will feel everything, hear everything, see everything
as if it was happening all over again. And the wound would open.
And you will bleed. It would happen and they would know.
And they won't blame you for that because they understand.

Hands or shoulder handed to you in sheer support do exist.
you see it every day with the people you call family.

Small gestures become incredible feats, for the one who once thought they would never be worthy.

This love transformed you, engulfed you and nursed you to health.
And their support is never fading away.

Oh, wonderful souls!!

You thought you were broken and to no use.
you thought you were nothing
but you were wrong!
You're a survivor, capable of anything!
Remember this in your darkest hours
Remember me, your loving soul
Remember yourself with pride and love

The heartbreak

She watched from afar as the day was ending

Her soul still searching for the impossible

Her mind still thinking of the impossible

Her heart aching for the impossible

She watched from afar, the dying horizon

With hopes to find what she was looking for

A thing of beauty, she was always promised

Unique, overwhelming and graceful as she was told

She watched from afar the blinding sun

Wishing that its light would burn her eyes

Wishing for the light to burn her skin

Wishing to the light to burn her dreams

An empty promise, an empty wish

An empty tomorrow and an empty will

She watched from afar, the fall of the night

Praying to the moon for its warming light

Praying to the moon for its cursing light

Praying to the moon for its dying might

She wanted to be set free from the burning pain in her chest

But she only had her eyes to cry

And her mouth to scream

And her heart to break

And her mind to shatter

And her will to fix her up

To start all over again

On that very spot

He took me to his secret place,

The one he said only the two of us would know.

I first believed he wanted to murder me on that very spot,

Without even a single witness to my demise.

I thought I would die there alone, destroyed to the very core.

On that very spot.

He took my hands and my heart skipped a beat

I forgot how to breathe, I was expecting for the fatal blow

And then, he simply knelt in front of me

Oh, Shocker! Oh, surprise! Is he going to deliver the fatal blow?

He spoke those words that made me go weak in the knees

on that very spot.

He pledged his love for me, told me I was important to him

And I listened to his words, I let them sink in.

He said he would protect us, he said he would fight for us

And I genuinely believed him because I knew he wasn't lying.

He offered himself to me. He simply did.

On that very spot.

« Would you want someone like me to always be there for you? »

« What kind of promise is it? Don't make promises you can't keep. »

He looked at me with eyes full of mischief as he knew I was troubled

Unused to his words, unused to his love, I didn't know how to react

But always he was kind, always he was patient with me, so he waited for me.

On that very spot.

« Are you sure you want to love me? » It was a binding promise

« Of course I do. Do you? » He stared at me with his piercing brown eyes

I nodded before words failed me and my throat was too tight.

He rose and pulled me against his frame for an embrace

And we danced, and we celebrated

On that very spot.

« you make me happy. You make me whole. » I could hear him repeat

« Not as whole as you make me feel. » I replied with the truth.

I didn't ask for much, I didn't want much from him.

No need for jewels and riches, no need for grandiose, no need for chic

I simply required one thing from him, one thing only.

On that very spot.

« Be true, my love. Be true to me. It's all I want. »

« True I would be, on my soul I promise. »

I didn't want him to make promises, I only wanted to see it happen.

He knew so he simply spun me around while we kissed, sealing our deal.

He stole my broken heart and took it with him, but he gave me his whole being

On that very spot.

La fin d'une longue amitié: poème

Alors voilà il faut bien ouvrir les yeux... 20 ans qu'on se connait, 16 ans d'amitié ce sont envolés au bout d'un mois et quelques jours. JE  ne comprends pas pourquoi! qu'ais je fait? juste avant de cesser de me parler tu me disais encore qu'on allait faire pleins de choses toi et moi. depuis qu'on a 7 ans on se connait, on se fréquente, on rigole ensemble. Ces cinq dernières années ont été très dures pour moi et tu avais toujours été là. D'ailleurs, j'avais toujours été là pour toi aussi. Je ne comprends pas.. je ne comprends pas et ça me fait mal. ça mefait tellement mal tu sais. Je pensais qu'après l'épisode Sauron je pouvais encore faire confiance au monde. Je t'ai donné toute ma confiance car au fond tu me connaissais. Avec toi je pouvais être moi même, je pouvais être tranquille et toi.. et toi que fais tu? tu t'enfuis, tu pars, tu me laisse... et au final, au final quoi? au final j'en souffres comme une conne.

Je suis tellement déçue, j'ai tellement mal... je t'assures, ça fait un mois que j'essaie de garder la tête haute, ça fait un mois que j'essaie de ne pas pleurer mais ce soir c'est trop.. ce soir c'est la goutte d'eau qui fait déborder le vase. Je pleure, je pleure et je n'en peux plus de pleurer parce qu'au final ça ne sertà rien.Tu es partie avec le meilleur de moi, ou plutôt non, avec mon passé. Je serai tentée de dire que je ne crois plus en l'amitié, qu'elle n'existe pas et j'ai envie de le dire. Je sais que c'est faux, mais ce soir, c'est une vérité parmi d'autre.

Pourquoi m'abandonnes tu? Tu sais que c'est l'une de mes craintes les plus grandes, tu sais que je déteste les situations ambigues et pourtant tu t'en vas sans même un adieu. L'ais-je mérité? Que fais tu de nos rêves? que fais tu de nos espoirs et nos projects? et moi que dois je en faire? je ne les laisserai pas tomber. Mais voilà, en partant tu me laisse seule... Seule face au monde.. qu'est ce que je raconte, j'ai toujours fait face au monde seule. Toujours, y compris après "Sauron".. là où j'avais le plus besoin de soutien, j'ai dû me relever toute seule et je suis là tant bien que mal, blessée mais vivante. Et juste quand je commence à aller mieux, tu rouvres la plaie. Merci......

Je suis tentée de te haïr, je suis tentée de cracher mon venin sur toi mais cela ne mènera nulle-part. Tout ce que j'ai à faire c'est te remercier pour les bons moments passés et avancer. C'est ce qu'il y a de mieux...alors je vais le faire. En attendant, j'ai mal..alors je pleure.  parce que pleurer, c'est tout ce qui me reste ce soir.

A french poem to introduce to the Belle

Ô belle inconnue, Jeune femme perdue

Sais tu seulement ce que tu sacrifie à ce bel éphèbe ?

Peut être est ce parce que tu penses avoir une âme faible

Mais le cœur a ses raisons que la raison n’a pas.



Pauvre enfant malheureuse !



Ô belle étrangère, jolie bergère

Qui garde les moutons de mon cœur, je t’observe

Et la seule pensée qui me traverse c’est celle me disant à quel point

La Tragédie est un genre qui te sied bien.



Pourqoi tant de peine ?



Pourquoi ne souris tu pas, ma douce amie ?

Pourquoi es tu donc si triste ?

Serait ce l’amour qui t’a blessé, le vilain ?

Ou alors l’amitié qui t’a éprouvé, comme un vile faquin.



T’es tu fait avoir ?



Ô Naive naïade, innocente brebis

J’écoute tes complaintes silencieuses car seul ton cœur crie

J’entends ces mots que tu ne saurais dire

Et les porte en mon sein pour soulager ta peine.



J’aimerai tant t’aider.



Pourquoi ne souris tu pas, ma douce amie ?

La vie est trop courte pour la gâcher ainsi

A chaque moment de peine, penses donc à moi

A ces moments s’ajouteront ceux de joie !



Je m’y attèle donc !



Penses, penses donc ma douce enfant,

Car au final, peut être que tes tourments

Connaitront une fin, et te laisseront vivre

Car au final ma mie, il serait temps de le faire…



Laisse toi donc faire