Doya: Happy 3 years!

 Happy 3 years!

Do you remember when we took this picture? It was a few months after we first met. I had no idea of the beautiful future ahead of us. We had such a beautiful night, Not the first, but definitely a template of what was to come in the next 3 years. It just went by so fast, I can’t believe we’ve already been in each other lives for this long, and yet, it feels as if we’ve been knowing each other for decades. I bless this day, the day we met each other. From the beginning you’ve always been a nice and supportive person, we became work partners and I jokingly called you Main Husband (this one will stick for ages :p sorry not sorry) because I thought we completed each other well. And we did. We were already a team and a good one.

We got to experience a lot of things together, the good, the bad, and the ugly but we always did it together. 3 years later and I feel that our bond became even stronger. You love me like nobody ever did before and I hope you know that I love you just as much and would always do my best to make you feel happy, loved, and cared for. That’s all I ever wanted for you. So, my dear Main Husband, Happy Anniversary 😊 May we have a wonderful 4th year, full of new challenges, joys, and celebrations!

HAPPY 12TH ANNIVERSARY ASMA

Anniversary : 12 years.

I know that for some people, I feel like a big talker, like someone who's just bragging here and there about a story and a character I've been writing for a decade now. I understand why they would think of me like this. I don't mind. I know my story, I know how difficult it is to write when you're crippled with severe anxiety, depression, and when you're navigating through traumas. It's not an easy journey, this book is literally my sweat, tears, self-doubt, and self-loathing working against me. The goal for me is to finish it. I want to finish it, at least put it out there and tell her story.

In the video, I'm talking about what Asma meant to me for it had been a question asked by the people who follow my work for years. Semi-pro or professional friends I know, people who also are amateurs like me, people who simply like art. It was a couple years ago and I had just started to convince myself that I had enough material to write my story. I was terrified, even then (you can clearly see in the video) because I wasn't sure my story could be readable. The themes I'm trying to talk about, the way it could be conveyed through dialogues or narration. I wasn't sure people would be willing to read me and it stopped me more times than I want to admit. I've been asked to go public, to add social media accounts, but my social anxiety prevents me from even considering it for now. A friend set up an internet page on her own website to showcase the work she did for my character and that's about it... again, for now. I take it slow.

But I'm taking certain steps. I'm moving forward. Someone asked me why in 12 years I wasn't able to put my book out. I guess it takes time. With the struggles I am facing right now, I think achieving « 100 pages » is miraculous. It's encouraging. I love Asma, I love what she brought to me. I love the Hope she kept giving me and those around me. She literally did save my life, in ways I would gladly talk about sometimes later when I feel ready. She's a project that keeps me going, and to this day, I am still very happy to have positive feedbacks on her, on what she did to other people too.

12 years is a lot of time spent on a character and a world. I have art I've showcased over the years on my FB page and Deviantart page. Some from me, some from others. I have her book I'm writing and reached page 100, I even started a very small poem collection I'm selling on the side, for those who are interested. It wasn't a BOOM, but it was something. (Thank you to those who bought those booklets). I am set to finish the book and work on communicating about it more in the next two years. I'm doing something. Maybe for some of you, it'll be in vain, or not enough because I'm still secretive about it -I really want to wait until I'm sure I'm done drafting it before I talk about it- but truly, I'm in no rush, my primary goal is just to finish my baby, make sure she's ready to go to the world. She's my legacy, after all, the one thing I want to leave behind and leave well. So no matter how long it takes, it'll be finished because I'm fully committed now and I am full of Hope too. That's the power of Asma Jensen, the beacon of hope.

So, darling, Happy 12^th anniversary, thank you so much for having been such a wonderful supportive companion over the years and allowing me to work on you. Let me please, keep going so I can present you to this world. Proud to have achieved something. Happy anniversary, beloved.

-May-

happy 7th anniversary Asma!

7 is supposed to be a lucky number, isn't it? She's been around for a little more than 7 years, but let's not embarrass ourselves with details. 7 is young, 7 is just the beginning. You already know how important she is to me so I'm not going to repeat it there. Asma is 7 years old and to have been alive and well for so long is already a miracle in itself. I thought I wouldn't have been able to get there, I am still battling that poisonous thought from time to time, the one that cripples me and prevents me from going further. Funny how life changed in such little time. 7 years is nothing, it went like a snap of a finger and yet I conquered so many things in so little time. 7 is the beginning. The fresh start. This year I am acknowledging my vision, I am giving myself the credit of my hard work. At least I am trying. This year isn't a turning point but it's a good time to look back and see all the ladders I have already climbed. 

The road is a long one, and I should trust my skills a lot more than I do now. I will always learn and always improve. 7 seems so long when you think of it. So many years of suffering, so many of victories, so many of acknowledgment. 7 years is BIG. When you think of it, of how it started, 7 years felt impossible and yet here they are. 7 years feels like growing up or maturing. It all comes down to what you truly are at heart and what you truly want. Being blindfolded and kept in the dark for so long was not enough to stop me from claiming it: I am an artist. Art is my everything. From my writings to my drawings, to the way I experience life. I had several experiences that all showed me this was my path and yet for so long I kept ignoring them. I won't anymore. I'm a realist though and we all need to eat and pay our bills but I wouldn't feel ashamed anymore: I am an artist. I am already seen as such by my peers and boy 7 years is still nothing so I am humbled down.

7 years of passion and love. Love for the character, from me and from others. Love for myself. Love for my friends (old and new). Love for myself. I am celebrating my baby today but I am also celebrating me, to break a

chain and start anew. To congratulate me for the superhuman effort it takes to stand up every morning, suffer through the day and find some solace in the little gorgeous things. And also because after a very rough year, I am breathing again and feeling hopeful once more. It's my struggle and I am not going to go into details but it feels good and it's a wonderful day today for me and my relatives and my loving friends. 7 years of gratitude as well. For that love I received, the true genuine love I will always embrace. For the support as well. Thank you for believing in me and in Asma. Thank you.

7 is the end. The end of a cycle. 7 is a beginning: we're going out of the comfort zone. Step by little step. This year is definitely a challenging one. Things are being set in motion, slowly maturing. I shall not let you down like you didn't let me. I shall not let her down like she never let me. I shall not let myself down like I so used to. 7 is the end. 7 is there!

Happy birthday Asma! May your 7^th birthday announce the beginning of much more!

I love ya'll! <3