got (modern) She couldn't afford to lose her -Dany x Baahal-

Daenerys tapped her fingers against the wooden table of her office desk. She had not heard from Bäahal in a while and was panicking. Their relationship had genuinely improved, and she was happy about it. For once, they could have normal conversations that didn't end in tears and screams. For once, they could share a meal without being at each other's throats. For once, she was given enough space to think about what she did to her sister over the years. Perhaps she owed it to Jon Stark, who actually showed her what healthy relationships with your siblings were. He encouraged her to make amends with her sister and try to get to know her better. Little by little, she stopped seeing her as a burden to carry and more as a person to actually get to know.  

This made her reflect upon the things she did to her sister. She ignored her at times and turned a blind eye to the pain she felt and the violence their brother, Viserys, inflicted upon her. Daenerys indulged in violence as well. Unlike Viserys' physical violence, Daenerys' was mostly psychological. She would hurl insults at her, would force Bäahal to remain financially dependent on her, and would treat Bäahal like a stain in the family. With hindsight, it was clear as day that she carried the guilt and rage of both her parents. Rhaella hated Bäahal, not the child herself, but what she embodied. Every time she looked at Bäahal, she saw her husband's infidelity. She felt like salt was rubbed on an open wound every time she looked at that other child and took it as an insult to be forced to welcome her into the family and pretend that she had always belonged there.  

Aerys' guilt was overwhelming. he messed up with both of his families. He couldn't bring himself to leave Rhaella for Sunni because he didn't want to break his family apart but he also didn't want to stop seeing Sunni because he was in love with her.  He felt a duty to both and because he refused to make a decision, everyone ended up suffering. It was easier to hate on Bâahal than to love her and for more than a decade, Daenerys did everything in her power to keep her sister on a leash. She even went as far as to break a relationship she had with a young dornish heir by buying his loyalty. He didn't hesitate and dumped Bäahal with such quickness that it made Daenerys nauseous.  She bought her sister's heartbreak and that wasn't the only thing she did to hurt the silver heiress. She used her for a deal with Bronn and sold her body for some piece of land to repeat what Bäahal accused her of.  Before Jon, it didn't bother her.  Now that he had opened her eyes to the reality of what she did, she felt disgusted with herself. 

How could she repair her relationship with her sister? How could Bäahal trust her again if she ever learned that she bought her breakup? Daenerys was worried about losing the budding loving relationship between the two of them because of her actions. She was worried about losing her sister for good. It sent her shivers down her spine and she grabbed her phone to look at the latest texts they exchanged lately. The conversation was nice, trivial even, they were planning a dinner together and Bäahal insisted on cooking something for the two of them. Daenerys' lips trembled and she put the phone against her chest. No one should ever know what happened and she made sure to remind the dornish prince to always keep his mouth shut lest he wanted to feel her wrath but she knew she couldn't control people to such an extent. Sooner or later the truth would be revealed and Dany didn't want it to blow up in her face. 

She couldn't afford to lose her..

She couldn't. 

GoT: Permission granted

Bäahal ran her hand over her tummy to self-soothe. She was nervous, especially since her fate would be discussed by the high council. She petitioned the queen, her sister Daenerys Targaryen, to allow her to travel the seven kingdoms like she used to do before the Redwyne's betrayal and the siege against her. She spent almost a year locked in the Red Keep both because she needed to heal but also because Jon and Jaime had devised a plan to force the Redwyne to out themselves as the instigator of such a treasonous act. They had to believe that the princess was dead otherwise they would have kept to themselves. While she understood the reasons for her situation, the silver head resented being locked in the castle. If anything, after the Last War and the crowning of her dear sister, Bäahal spent a long time trying to figure out what her role would be in this new era. 

She wasn't a politician, she wasn't a counselor either. She wasn't meant to stay in a castle and look pretty. She was meant to go as she pleased and talk to the common folks. Her desire for freedom led her to become her sister's ambassador among the commoners and led her to travel the seven kingdoms. She wanted to meet people, to show them that the crown cared about them and would provide their basic needs.  While the beginnings were difficult, she managed to win the hearts of her people and represent her sister the best. Daenerys appreciated the efforts her sister made to represent her to the commoners and noticed a behavior change when she walked the streets. There was more than fear or intrigued looks on their faces. She could see gratitude and admiration now and always made sure to thank her sister's hard work whenever she could. 

The siege changed everything. Daenerys didn't want her sister to take unnecessary risks. She refused to even consider the topic when they discussed it in private much to Bäahal's chagrin. Part of her understood her sister's reasons for refusing but another one was growing impatient. She needed to leave, she needed to travel the realm. She needed to escape the suffocating walls of the Red Keep and  Daenerys should have understood it better than anyone else. Since her private supplications didn't work, then a petition to the High Council might certainly help her.  She could see her sister's despair in her eyes, a silent plea for Bäahal to withdraw her petition and stop trying to leave the safety of the castle. Her own eyes exposed how mortified the princess had been because she knew her decision to leave would open freshly closed wounds but Bäahal could not help her true nature. 

She wasn't made for the walls and the gardens of the Red Keep. She wasn't meant for a sedentary life, spent withering like a flower in a vase. No! She was meant to ride her horse outside. She was meant to meet the people and care for them. She was meant for the life she built before the siege. If anything, that unfortunate event showed her just how important her work was. After all, wasn't she turning the people into Daenerys followers?  Still self-soothing, the princess wasn't paying attention to the raised voices in the war room. Her eyes were staring at Daenerys as if the two of them were having a conversation of their own. She looked at her fingers, at how hard they clenched to the fabric of her dress, at how bruised her fingers were for flattening her dress to soothe herself. 

It felt as if the world didn't exist but Daenerys understood her sister's motivation for leaving. She understood the first time Bäahal came to her and requested she become her ambassador. She understood why it became vital for her to leave the confines of the Red Keep. She was a free spirit and Daenerys couldn't possibly keep her contained in the castle. It would cause more harm than good. So she stopped the ongoing arguments and looked at Bäahal straight in the eyes. Her lips trembled but she firmly spoke, granting Bäahal the right to resume her role as an ambassador. That sentence alone elicited a sigh of relief from the princess who stopped self-soothing and looked at her sister with tears in her eyes. Finally, she was granted freedom again! 

However, the conditions were different from the first time. The queen refused to let her go with just two guards. It had to be at least five of them, vetted by Jon himself. She was requested to be more vigilant this time and to become more familiar with the noble houses and the history of Westeros so she would notice if something went wrong, unlike last time. She could do it, after all, Jaime had started to teach her and she could improve her knowledge with the help of the Red Keep's maesters. A smile graced her features and she stood up and bowed in front of the queen, thanking her for her generosity and understanding. She was free, at long last! 

GOT: My family

Daenerys ran her hand through Bäahal's silver locks. The princess fell asleep on her lap a while ago and the queen allowed her mind to wander for a while. The two of them had a complex history. One that was laced with tears, trauma, and laughter. One that was filled with hope and despair and love. It was love that helped Dany welcome Jon into her life and allow love to flourish in her heart once again. It was love that helped Dany believe in healing and step into her duty as a queen of the seven kingdoms with confidence. It was Bäahal's love that helped her stand when all she wanted was to fall. That love was unbreakable and Dany felt grateful. It took a while for Daenerys to fully embrace the fact she had a sister, still alive and around her age. 

That love resisted anger. Both Daenerys and Bäahal clashed when the queen learned that her sister was in love with Jaime Lannister.  It felt like a slap in her face, a betrayal of such a great magnitude that she didn't know how to forgive her. Jaime Lannister was the man who killed her father. He was the one who betrayed his vows. He hurt Jon's brother. His family was responsible for so much pain and suffering that Daenerys couldn't comprehend the bond that existed between him and her sister. What did she see in him? How could she look at him with love in her eyes? Every time the princess gushed about Jaime, the queen felt anger make her blood boil. She hated to hear her sister complimenting him. She hated to watch Bäahal's face full of love for the man she hated the most. How could they reconcile their differences? How could they make it work? Daenerys couldn't think of a solution and instead allowed her anger to take over. Bäahal would never marry Jaime. She would never let this man enter the family. Dany tried to make it so, but eventually, she realized that she was hurting her sister.  She realized that her stance on Jaime was driving a wedge between the two of them and she was about to lose her.

That love resisted her guilt. Daenerys felt guilty because she didn't realize that distancing herself from her sister would not go unnoticed by the princess. It hurt her sister, and it was so painful to see, so obvious, even to the untrained eye. Dany missed several events in the life of her sister, she wasn't there to comfort her when Bäahal needed it. She wasn't there to guide her when her sister needed it. She wasn't there to make her feel better when Bäahal needed it. It was heartbreaking to watch the face of her sister wet from the tears she shed and her body shiver from head to toe from fear. Bäahal refused to talk to her and each time she heard that the princess would not oppose her decision to marry her off to a total stranger, her heart sank. The sisters grew apart from each other. In fact... they lost each other.

But they found each other again. Daenerys came back to her senses, went past her anger, past her anguish, and past her fear of being rejected by her sister so they could have a decent conversation. They talked, for what seemed like days (and it was indeed). They talked and put everything on the table, the truth hurt more than once but it was so much needed. In tears, Dany asked her sister "I have been horrible to you, sister. I let you down every time you needed me and I only realized how much you were hurting when it was too late. I never wanted to hurt you, Bäahal. Could you forgive me?" to which the princess replied. "We are family. I forgave you a long time ago. I forgive you like you forgive me for what we put each other through." and just like that they rekindled their flame.

GoT (regular) : Beyond the horizon

GoT (regular):  Beyond the horizon

//This is something Bäahal said. 

xxx

"Sister-mine. You requested my presence."

Bäahal was nervous. Daenerys had summoned her to the throne room for a conversation between the two of them. After tap-dancing for weeks since her return to the Red Keep, the silver queen decided that she should at least have a conversation with her sister. Enough time has passed since their first conversation and Daenerys had started to understand that the love between her sister and Jaime Lannister was far more serious and deep than she gave it credit for. Jaime and Jon were about to return to King's Landing and it was necessary for Daenerys to tackle the elephant in the room. The first time went really badly, which prompted Bäahal to lock herself in her room and spend days crying. This Time, thanks to her Hand, Daenerys decided that having a second conversation was warranted. Bäahal's soft purple hues looked at her sister and bit her thumb in anticipation.

"You may relax, Bäahal. I am not angry." -Daenerys started- "I'm going to be straightforward, I would like to talk about Ser Jaime Lannister and you. Do you promise to tell me the truth?" -Bäahal nodded and put both hands on her lap- "Good. First of all, I appreciate your efforts to rekindle our relationship despite the sour turn it took upon your return."

"I shouldn't have brought Ser Jaime to the conversation. You weren't ready to listen to me." -Bäahal was apologetic, Daenerys nodded and gave her a soft but tight smile-

"I wasn't indeed. Ser Jaime killed my father, and regardless of the reasons that had him do that, he still broke his oath. He still killed my father and that death set up the downfall of my family. he's responsible for it whether he wants it or not."

"Sister. I am aware of what Ser Jaime did. You chose to see what it took from you, but you fail to see, what it gave others. Ser Jaime chose to sacrifice one life to save the many. He protected his people--"

"HE SHOULD HAVE PROTECTED MY DAD!" -She yelled. Bäahal swallowed a lump and lowered her head. She held her tongue because if she didn't, she would have insulted her father for the heinous crime he committed against her mother. Daenerys knew the truth of her birth and still, the sting caused by the death of her father was hurting her. - "He should have... He didn't. I am clearly upset at what he did, but it was unfair of me to focus on this. I had the opportunity to meet him, to get to know him, and more importantly to see him in action. I realized he wasn't...He wasn't the man I thought he was. so...Sister, we're going to talk about the future you see for yourselves if I gave you my blessings."

Bäahal moistened her lips and clenched her fists. She held onto the thin fabric of her dress and shifted her eyes from left to right before she looked up at her sister. 

"As you wish, sister." -She tucked her silver locks behind her ear and slowly stared at her sister.- "I am aware that choosing Jaime as my suitor would not be easy on us. Jaime is hated by the people and the great houses. I am still trying to win some of them over on your behalf. There had been a siege, so I assume that it would not be the only assassination attempt on me. I am aware of the risks. It would be the world against us but I swore to the gods, Dany. I swore to the gods that I will always love him. He is the man I chose, the heart I chose and I am willing to fight for us."

"You are passionate. Bäahal. I know you're sincere and I know that you love him deeply." -She sighed and gently grabbed her hands in between hers.- "It is endearing, to see. How can you be sure that he would protect you? Being with him would put you in danger. How can I be sure that he would do anything in his power to protect my beloved sister."- She squeezed her hands tighter.- "I would have burned the whole world if you died at the siege. I cannot be at peace knowing you're in danger anywhere you go."

"You won't lose me, sister. I understand how you feel but I can assure you that Ser Jaime would do his absolute best in order to protect me. If I can tell you something, anything to convince you, then I will tell you that during the Long Night, Jaime Lannister saved me. I was ready to die that night. I wanted to die because I thought that was the right thing to do. I needed to give meaning to my life and for such a long time, I survived because my goal was to set myself free. Once freed, I lost my purpose so I decided to become your blade and die in battle. He snapped me out of it. He told me to live. He lit a fire inside my heart. I survived the Long Night thanks to Jaime Lannister. Back then, he was just a little bit fond of me and didn't want me to die but now that he's in love? now that we are in love with each other? He is willing to die if that means I can survive. You have to trust me, Dany. You have to."

Daenerys looked at her sister and gently rubbed the back of her hand against the soft and wet cheek of her crying sister. Bäahal was a very sensitive woman, despite the years of abuse she suffered, she still managed to keep a soft and loving heart. She still managed to see the future in a positive light. She was someone who felt deeply and couldn't hide the way she felt. So seeing her shed tears for Jaime Lannister and retelling what happened behind the scenes, made her feel a pang in the pit of her stomach.

"I trust you, sister. I just don't want to lose you again. It pains me to see you cry and I want you to be happy. You've been through a lot in your life. You've been in pain, and you've got your heart broken, It is also my duty to protect it. I will talk to Ser Jaime. I will ask him if he's aware of what he is doing. If I give you my blessings, I will entrust him with the most precious treasure I have. I will entrust him with you. Please, dry your tears. Please..."

Bäahal nodded and wiped her tears with the back of her hand; She leaned her cheek against the warm palm of her sister's hand and gently sobbed. It would take a moment before the young woman would stop crying but the tension had left the room and the sisters were finally bonding again.

-TBC-

GoT: new year!

"I pray the seven gods, Old and New, to be favored by them. I pray to the seven gods, Old and New, to have my sister's blessings. I know that the year to come will be filled with challenges. I know the world would be against us, should we be blessed by my sisters. I know our lives would be put on the line, because I chose you, because I loved you and because you're not dead. I know plenty would try to get revenge for what your House did. Your brother and sister are working tirelessly in order to restore the name of your family, and I know that you would do it. I trust Lady Kyra and I trust you.

I have never doubted you because I saw the man you were. I know the man you are. I know the real you, the one others don't want to see. I trust you, Jaime. I trust you with my life and I trust you with my heart and soul. So. I am ready to do anything in my power to protect you and your family. I will obey my sister, even if that breaks my heart because I am loyal to her. Still, I pray. Still, I hope. Still, I wish that the gods would favor me and that we would be together. It would be the greatest gift they could do to me, the greatest after they gave me a family."

Got: (modern): A father's speech

Got: (modern): A father's speech

 // Because he wasn't the best dad of the year.... those are some of the last words he said to his daughter because he died.

xxxx

"You have a name. you are a Targaryen and because of this, you have responsibilities attached to that name. You have My eyes. You have my hair and you have my attitude. They would try to tell you that you are not my child, that you are not my blood. They would try to tell you that you  doesn't deserve to have a sit at the table of our family. You have dragon blood. You are a Dragon Rider. You are a Dragon  Queen, Bäahal, A child who was born out of love between your mother and I. Fire is your blood, therefore you should let no one disrespect you. Not even your own family. Listen to me carefully, child. I would not accept any more tears from you. You have to embrace your heritage. You have to embrace your power. 

You have a name. You are a Targaryen and your primary duty is to ensure the rest of the world respects our family. You have to make sure that no one would spit on the ground you walk on but would instead kiss your feet and grovel before you. You are my daughter, Bäahal. You are the Dragon King's daughter and because of it, you have to uphold the reputation of the family. I could not bear to witness the decline of my family, or the humiliation of my beloved daughter. You have to obey your sister, Daenerys, because she knows what's best for this family and would always make sure that you fulfill your role as my second-born daughter. You have to keep in mind that  Family always comes first. Now now, child, dry those tears. Dry those tears and don't cry for me. I have done the best I could and while I know it wasn't perfect, I have tried to be there when it mattered. Now, leave and remember that I love you. Remember your duties. Remember me."

-TBC-

GoT (regular): Sisterly conversation

 // it's been a while. I missed them. 

xxxx

Daenerys put her hand on Bäahal's, preventing her from leaving the dinner table. The silver princess looked at her sister and sat back on her chair. It was clear that Daenerys wanted to talk to her once the whole room would be cleared, so she patiently waited for the two of them to be left alone, in a freshly cleaned dining room. She looked at her sister and leaned into her chair. Daenerys smiled at her and put both hands on her lap. Her purple eyes stared at her sister's violet ones and she smiled at Bäahal. 

"I wanted to speak with you sister. It had been a while since our last conversation." -Daenerys felt her sister tense a little, so she quickly held Bäahal's wrist- "Don't fret. I am not going to lash out at you."

"You're not?" -Bäahal's voice was meek, as she was still testing the waters. She was still walking on eggs around Daenerys who was tired of inducing fear in the heart of her sister. She realized that she'd been way too hard on her and should have tackled the issue a bit differently than he did. Dany nodded and gently stroked the back of her hand in order to soothe her sister.- "Alright. I just.. we didn't really have the best conversations as of late."

"I have been way too harsh on you. I couldn't see past my anger. I couldn't see past my fears. You walked on eggs for weeks because of me, when all you wanted to do was talk to me."

"You were worried, and you are a queen before being a sister. I can't blame you for your first reactions. I don't blame you for them."

"But you blame me for not trying to meet you halfway, don't you?" -Bäahal shrugged and finally nodded after a while- "I understand. I am your sister and you wanted to have an honest conversation between sisters. I denied you before, I don't want to deny you now."

"You would not want to talk about Jaime. I have so much to say about him, but I am not going to overstep your boundaries. If I could just say one thing about it, it's that I worry about Jon and about Jaime. This mission is very difficult and I know they would have to work together in order to find the truth and see if the people who attacked me and you by extension, are truly the ones I pointed at. I wouldn't want to cause a diplomatic incident. I wouldn't want to cause you more trouble already." -Bäahal chose to keep walking on eggs with her sister.- 

She wasn't sure that Daenerys wanted to hear about the knight so she chose to redirect the conversation to the plan, the very reason for their decision to leave. this way she hoped to soothe any potential anger before it had time to form in the heart of her sister, but Daenerys understood and a soft smile graced her features. She removed her hand from Bäahal's and put it back on the table in front of her.

"I trust them, Bäahal. I trust  Jon. It is his plan after all and he knows what he is doing. It must have been incredibly difficult for you to bid farewell to the knight." -Bäahal bit her bottom lip and nodded quietly. It was hard, perhaps the hardest thing she had to do, watch the man she loved left her to his potential death-

"We managed." -She paused, her purple hues averted from her sister's face and set upon the window.- "I trust Jon and Jaime to come back to us and this is all I'm looking forward to, sister. Them, alive and home."

"Bäahal, you are right about something. I do not want to talk about Jaime....yet. However, I would like to talk about you." -She moistened her lips- "I want to know how you feel since the siege. I want to talk about you discovering Love for the first time. I want to know if you've ever dreamed about having your own family, getting married... having children."

"Are you serious Dany? Do you really want to know all of this?" -Daenerys nodded-

Bäahal was dumbfounded. She didn't know that her sister wanted to start a conversation about her inner thoughts, her dreams, and desires. She didn't know where to start or how to talk about things without mentioning Jaime. Daenerys was ready to make a step forward, she was prepared to meet her sister halfway but she wasn't ready to speak about Jaime. It would come, in time. Bäahal blinked and then lowered her head. She could feel her cheeks turn red and she found her fingers fidgeting with some of her silver locks. She had never really thought about a happy married life before. How could she when she was still enslaved? How could she when there was no hope for her? Men disgusted her because they only saw her as something to own, something to use, something to flatter their ego. She dreamed of freedom and nothing else, but since Mereen... did she think about a future? 

They went from one war to another right after the defeat of Cersei and the crowning of  Daenerys. Bäahal didn't really have the time to stop and contemplate her life. There was too much going on, from the mourning of Viserion to the desire to find Jaime Lannister (alive if possible), and her desire to become her sister's ambassador. She had to adjust to her freedom, welcome this new life and strengthen her bonds with her family. It was a lot to deal with in such a little time so how could the princess truly have time to think about her desires? Well... she did. As a matter of fact, she did when she was looking for Jaime. She wished he was alive and they would find each other again. She wished he was alive so she could claim her love for him and expected that maybe, this would kickstart something. 

What was really the plan at Highgarden? Did she really think Jaime would follow her and go back to King's landing as if there were no consequences? Did she really think that nothing would happen to him? that Daenerys would accept with arms wide open this newfound love? Of course not! It wouldn't have happened that way, yet, for a moment,  the princess believed it could. She thought about getting married to him. She imagined the dress, the flowers, the smiles. She imagined the vows and the kisses. she imagined her life after the wedding, the pregnancies, the children she would give him. She wanted a child. She wanted a child? Her cheeks turned redder and she chewed at her bottom lip while her eyes looked at her sister. 

"Well... it's not off the table. I want to have his children. It didn't last long but I imagined myself with a round belly and another child on my hips. I want to give him a boy, a girl, and perhaps a third child. I want to see him smile and fall in love with our children. I... want to fall in love with my children. little "him and me".  -She couldn't help but smile to herself as the thoughts crept on her lips- "Can you imagine me, sister, can you imagine me as a mother?"

"You would be the best mother I've ever known. You are very sweet, Bäahal, very loving, so brave and so strong. I am sure you would be a wonderful mother. I am pleased to see that you have thought about a future that would make you happy. You are my sister, yes, and you have a duty as the princess of the seven kingdoms but, you are your own person, you have your own dreams and I wanted to make sure that you are happy."

"Thank you, Dany. It means the world to me. I really appreciate your confidence in me. " -She smiled at her sister and gently patted her hand- "I've never thought about being married or having children before him. I never thought I could be a good mother. I never thought someone would love me so much that they would want to marry me. It just didn't occur to me." -She twirled some more of her hair and bit her bottom lip.- "Have you ever felt it, sister? Is your heart beating fast and hard against your ribcage? the desire to see your loved ones and to feel them hold you in their arms? I cannot stop thinking about my lover. I can never stop wanting to see him. He.. makes my heart flutter and...I feel shivers go down my spine when I set my eyes upon his."

"I do. I do, when I look at Jon this is what I feel. I did, when I looked at my first husband, my Khal. I feel euphoric, to be honest. I feel as if I was walking on clouds." -She said with a warm smile on her lips.- "If I was able to bear children, I would have had Jon's. I want to." -She sighed and shrugged- "Pregnancy isn't easy, you will feel sick but to think that a little soul is growing inside you. Oh...Bäahal. I really wish for you to experience this. I really wish you can..." -She chuckled softly and then ran her hand over her face.- "I really wish we can get better. I want us to have a better relationship. To resume being sisters."

"We never stopped being sisters, Dany. we never stopped." -Bäahal laid her hands on her lap- "I just... I understand why you'd be worried about me. I almost died during the siege. You almost lost me. I can't really imagine the fear that went through your heart. I can only tell you that I didn't want to leave you behind. I didn't want to lose you. I just wanted to come home, to you." -She yanked her head back and started to massage her scalp- "I miss you. that's the truth here... But I am positive we're getting somewhere better."

"It will work." -Daenerys smiled at her sister, confident this time and Bäahal nodded in agreement-

It will work, it was just a matter of time and patience. Daenerys was pleased to see that the two of them had started talking about more general topics such as love, and motherhood and it was a fresh start. It was something positive and Bäahal hoped that it would help Jaime and her in the long run if Daenerys could see the love they both shared.

-TBC- 

got (modern): The Healer

 // Things are going better for the family and I wanted them to have a good moment together. 

xxxxx

A woman's scorn resulted in the suffering of innocent children. She tore the siblings apart, picked on a child who had lost her mother and blamed her for the sins of her father. SHe couldn't see the damage she did on her family. She refused to see the pain she caused by tearing the children apart and enabling the worst behaviours in her kids. Viserys was violent, he had a mean streak that was not controlled by either of his parents. Daenerys was molded  to become the heiress to the family, the head of the table and Bäahal was the victim of both of their wrath as she was considered responsible for their parents break up. 

Bäahal was but a young child who didn't know better and who took personally the verbal and physical abuse from her siblings and from their mother. Her father stood there, allowing the abuse to go on because he felt guilty of what he had done. Yes, he fell in love with Bäahal's mother, but in doing so, in taking his child back to his home, he also wrecked his own family.  Their deaths, alongside their older brother's, Rhaegar, truly hurt the family that couldn't seem to be able to heal from years of pain, hatred, and anger. 

Yet, here they were, sharing dinner. Yet, here they were, exchanging smiles and having a somewhat polite conversation. Were they healing? Bäahal had no idea what happened to Viserys and why he was acting so nicely -despite his still cold face and demeanor towards his sisters-. SHe noticed he was clean, noticed that he took time before acting, which saved both sisters from the usual physical and verbal abuse he would force onto them. Daenerys seemed to be slowly live again. Bäahal assumed that it had something to do with that Jon Stark.  She couldn't be sure, but it seemed to be the main reason for the change of heart and the kindness in her voice. 

Were they healing? What was the catalyst for both of them? Bäahal didn't know that it was actually her. It was her relentless attempts at helping her siblings and talking "real" to them that helped. For Viserys, it happened rather recently. In the days leading to the anniversary of their father's death, Bäahal had offered to go with him on his grave, so they could have a nice sibling moment. He responded by slapping her, and then ran to see Kyra. That was a defining moment. That was the moment he realized that he went too far and needed to rethink his behaviour. For Daenerys, it came a little earlier, when Bäahal told her that she used her as bait or bargaining chip so she could buy some patch of land of High Garden, from Bronn. the realization that she had pimped her sister and went too far in the way she treated Bäahal forced her to reconsider; 

Despite all that had happened, the youngest Targaryen child didn't hold grudges against them. Instead, she kept trying to rekindle her relationship with them. She kept trying to open her arms to them and this repeated action reached out to their hearts. Bäahal was actually a good kid, a good sister and there were a lot of ground work to do to earn her trust again and treat her right. So, Daenerys suggested they shared  lunch at the Targaryen's estate. A lunch.. what could go wrong? 

-TBC-

GoT regular : Amethyst and Emeralds

GoT : Amethyst and Emeralds

A/N : Just a little bit about these two. <3

XXXX

Red Keep's garden, early morning.

At the request of Bäahal, Daenerys agreed to a little walk in the gorgeous garden of the Red Keep. It had been way too long since the sisters spent some time together and while their relationship was complicated due to the news of the affection her sister had for the Golden Lion, they still were sisters. For a while, Dany was worried that she might lose her sister due to her decisions and that perhaps, Bäahal would have escaped at night, taking the boat to go somewhere else. But she was mistaken, her little sister stayed with her, faithful and loyal, although very silent. It pained the silver queen to see tears on her sister's face and watch from afar as she tried to look decent before the two crossed paths.

Dany always felt guilty because she knew she was the reason for her sister's tears. Not all of it was on Dany's shoulders, but she was the queen and as such, held the power to decide about her sister's future. This was a nasty position to be in and conflicted emotions crossed the dragon queen. Yet, the time spent at the garden had been lovely. Summer really made the two of them look beyond gorgeous and turn heads wherever they went. The two Lannister guards kept following Bäahal as it was their orders, but still at a respectful distance to let the queen talk to the princess. They discussed most of the things at hand, the siege, the plans in the making to find out the culprit, how Dany had missed her, and how happy she was they could share a walk together.

They talked a great deal about memories, from the first time they met and Dany accepted her in her family to the Long Night and the Great War. They talked about Drogo and the memories of him Dany would never forget, and the chance she had at finding love again with Jon. They spoke of family, of how unbeknownst to them they were still keeping the traditions alive and hows difficult that was for them because many lords weren't really happy with it. Throughout the whole conversation, Daenerys noticed Bäahal half-smiles whenever Jaime's name was mentioned. But she also noticed the silence that followed. Bäahal wasn't really conversing with her, she kept deflecting back and focusing the conversation on Jon and her. It was so obvious that she was holding back that it bothered the silver queen who wanted to have a conversation with her.

Bäahal kindly declined, stating that she would very much keep enjoying the garden instead but would meet her later in her own room should her sister want it. It wasn't much but they did reach an agreement and their first time alone together after so many weeks actually went well. Bäahal was quite happy with her behavior and decided to keep walking through the garden. After all, it was important for her sister to see that Bäahal cared for her still and they were still close despite this « issue » between the two of them. As she walked through the garden, she couldn't help but remember when she met the Golden Lion through gardens.

He could care less about them, never really like gardens, to begin with, but he would always make sure to take her there because gardens were her elements. She was like a rare flower, the kind you took time to nurture just so you could see it reach its full potential. They had some of the most real conversations in a garden, the kind to wreck your heart or make it soar. They had always been real, even when they didn't intend to be. She stopped before a rose and bent forward to smell it. It all started with a gaze. Amethyst eyes upon Emeralds. Jaime didn't need to say anything when they first met, she already knew he was true. He was a man who took the risk to come to hostile territory, knowing full well that he might go to certain death. He still went, and he still fought with them against the White walkers. Bäahal thought his eyes were the most beautiful pair of green eyes she'd ever seen.

They were intense, unapologetic, sometimes even stern. How many times did they try to look at each other without being caught, only for the other to notice? How many times did they share a long stare without words, how many times did she lose herself in the knight's gaze? She couldn't say but she didn't need to know how many times exactly because each and every time she felt it in her heart, the longing, the ache, the joy. Jaime wasn't by her side since she was going on a walk and they couldn't be seen in public that often. Jaime wasn't near yet he was in her heart and the memories of their constant meetings, the many times she stormed into the room he was when at Winterfell or when she finally confessed her feelings for him.

 She was truly in love with him and it pained her to be unable to share the excitement of the first love with her sister. She wanted to tell her so many stories, how things unfolded between the two of them, what she loved about Jaime and what she wished others could see but this story of Amethysts and Emeralds could only be known by very few people, and perhaps it would never be known and the simple idea made the soft smile on her lips fade and give place to a frown. It hurt, it hurt so bad but she decided to stay positive and pray to the gods that one day Dany would be willing to listen to her talk about this man she fell in love with. At least, hear their story, whether or not she agreed or would allow for it to happen. At least... hear their story.

Regular GoT: shots of love

 My dear Golden Lion, I remember the day you told me that you were impressed that after all this time, suffering from the vileness of mankind, I still retained hope. I still saw the world for everything it was able to give. I remember I was surprised when you told me that because to me it didn't seem that way. It took a while before I started to see things differently from the Long Night. Do you remember how I was ready to die?  I thought I only had value in a warrior's death but I was mistaken. 

My world was grey before you came to me and slapped some sense into me. You brought the colors back.  you brought the colours back and it stayed with me. 

We are going to face a lot together, and I know that in the end, we might not get what we actually want, but I want to Try. I want to give it my all because there is not a life where I wouldn't want to be with you. it simply doesn't exist for you are my life, you are my world, in this life or another.  

xxxxx

I would give these two the world. I would give these two my everything. I remember looking at them whenever I could, catching the small glances and the subtle smiles as they were attracted towards one another like magnets.  I remembered the warmth I felt upon learning they finally trusted one another and gave me another chance at Life. 

In a world where I had lost everything, I suddenly found a family. I suddenly found people who cared for me and would give everything to help me should I need it.  I don't think you'd understand how it is, to go from an orphan to someone who found a home, to bond with people who understand loss better than anyone. To bond with people who would never give up on you. I found this and I would never stop loving them. 

xxxxxx

I believe in second chances and we have both deserved it. Long before we met, we both experienced something traumatic. You've lost and loved and crumbled but always kept moving forward. I remember the knight I met, long before the Long Night. You were the shadow of your past-self, or so I was told. You were supposed to be a man who had lost everything, from his honour to the love of the people to even his own future. you had lost everything to Death and yet you still came. I was baffled by the sight of you, left dumbfounded and smitten over you. Yes, I think it probably was this moment Fate chose to bring us together, the moment you stole our first kiss. you lost so much, Jaime, that I believe you deserve a second chance at life. you deserve to be proud, to be happy, to be loved above all else.  and It is an honour to love you, with all I have. it is an honour to adore you. it is an honour to be with you. 

GoT (regular) : Hypothetical future (the bad one)

GoT (regular) : Hypothetical future (the bad one)

A/N : I would not want these two to be denied. I would not be able to stand it but this is mostly how I imagine things to be if Dany rejects them. Theme song : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vwBf9he8lY

xxxxxx

Two decades into a future where Dany denied her sister her union with Jaime Lannister.

Brienne of Tarth was looking for the silver princess at the spots she was known to visit. After two decades at the service of the people, princess Bäahal had decided to stay at King's Landing. Through one of her journeys, she'd suffered a bad fall, which forced her to walk with a cane and stop horse-riding altogether. With no possibility to escape the walls of the Red Keep, the princess was forced to find a way to make herself useful, devoting herself to helping those in need. She made sure to be at her sister's service, accepting any request but one: To get married. After Daenerys made it clear that she didn't bless her union to Jaime Lannister, the pair were often separated unless the princess needed protection. They managed to lure out the conspirators and judge them openly, sentencing them for their High Treason against the crown. Jaime got to ensure the princess' protection but only at a distance. They were allowed to talk to each other, even share a lunch or have dinner together but that was the most they could do.

Soon after it was asked for Bäahal to not pursue any romantic relationship to the knight, she started to wear red whenever he was around, finding ways to let him know that her feelings for him did not die and he made sure to let her know through their personal code, that he was still loving her and protecting him however he could. They became star-crossed lovers, forever forced to love the other from afar, forever unable to touch each other in ways no other could. Bäahal promised Kyra she would protect the family and she kept her word, ensuring the safety of the knight and making sure nobody could suspect, they loved each other. Yet, to each other, their commitment became only more intense and they found new ways to care for the other. It simply became something that couldn't be said. Bäahal remained beautiful, a sight to behold, but her face was sad and she grew quiet over the years whenever she wasn't required to speak. Daenerys married Jon Targaryen, privately first before it became public, much to the old noble's rejection of such union. So she was focused on them and the people, forgetting as time went by that the decision she took that day would seal the fate of two souls.

Jaime illustrated himself over the years, earning the respect of the Royal family. He was a brilliant Knight, a cunning chief of the Lannister army and he led many battles in the name of the Queen. His story was known by the people, even the ever sordid secret of his oathbreaking. Bäahal promised she would at least let people know what he sacrificed for them, even if that didn't rehabilitate him fully, at least they knew what he did. Brienne couldn't find the princess who was not in her usual spots. She wasn't walking at the beautiful garden of the Red Keep nor was she watching the dragons at their den's. She simply was in the kitchen, making her own soup much to the surprise of the housemaids who watched her do.

Brienne went to find the Queen to deliver the bad news, her face pale as a ghost as she related the events she'd just witnessed. Tyrion fell apart at that moment, although he kept his dignity and simply asked permission to retire to the garden for a moment. Daenerys realized she needed to see Bäahal and asked about her whereabouts. When it was said that the princess was cutting potatoes for her soup, the queen decided to find her. Bäahal, as always careful, was taking her time preparing her lunch as she sometimes liked to do. She found that it was relaxing to do things by herself, like when she was still a kid and her mother was teaching her how to cook, prior to being abducted again. The room quickly cleared and she recognized the footsteps of her sister.

« You found me, Dany. I thought you would be busy with your counsel. »

« I had to see you. Brienne of Tarth just came back and... » She stopped talking to look at her as she was still cutting her potatoes quietly.

« To have you rush into the kitchen and have the room cleared...I guess the news is important. » -She said, her voice still calm although the hand holding the knife was still trembling-

« Bäahal... I guess this is too late to say that I am... »

« He was a good man, you know, Dany? » She started out with a soft voice. Still cutting her vegetable- « I have seen it from the moment we met. There was a sparkle in his eyes, something fierce that was telling me that he could be trusted. He had honor... he always had honor, even when he killed our father. I was never mad at him for saving these people. » Her voice let escape a sob that tugged at the queen's heart. « I remember how foolish I was to ever want to die during the long night. I thought that my whole life would only have meaning if I sacrificed it for you. Oh, I was ready to do so, but he told me I could try and live. Have a full life, be happy...he had his own way to make my blood boil but he saved my life on that day. » She then shrugged and looked at her hands. « We saved each other, Dany. We saved each other and I was aware that our love was not wanted in this life. I kept praying that in the next one we'd be happier but this isn't exactly how it works, right? There is no other life but the one we had. » She said still cutting.

Daenerys noticed that she was now cutting the air, traumatized by her own words as she had understood that Jaime had died and Daenerys felt sorry for the way she treated this relationship. The queen couldn't help but let her tears roll down on her cheeks as she listened to her sister talk about her deceased lover. She realized that it wasn't just some puppy love, nor was it meant to disappear as fast as it had appeared. It was real, it was strong and even in a moment like this, when she could have been screaming her heart out and trying to eventually, join him in death, she talked about what he did when he was alive.

« My golden lion was... » -She trailed off before she noticed her hand and said in an unusual tone « Oh, look at me, I'm making a mess! I've been cutting the air. » She then chuckled and that was Daenerys' cue to come closer to her sister as she had put the knife down and had turned around to look at her with tears rolling down her cheeks. « He's gone...Dany...I would never see his face anymore.. he's gone... » Then the tears became streams and the streams became a torrent and she screamed a heart-wrecking scream that tore the heart of the queen. She was sobbing so hard that she clung to her sister. The knight was dead and along with him, a piece of her heart, and all that the queen could do was to witness it all.

-TBC-

GoT : A stupid man

GoT : A stupid man

A/N : Still a little flash-forward, I have been thinking of them, long and hard. It had to be written.

Xxxxx

Jaime watched from afar, as Bäahal spoke with Daenerys. He was going to the war counsel just so he could have a conversation with Jon Snow, also known as Jon Targaryen now that his true lineage had been revealed. Jon requested a meeting with him so they could talk about Jaime and Bäahal's investigation. She had been a victim of a siege, an assassination attempt that nearly cost her life if the Golden Lion had not arrived on time. Bäahal's testimony helped narrow down the list of potential enemies but they still had to investigate the suspects before they officially accused them of treason. Daenerys didn't agree with the idea of letting her sister go and put her through more danger, but Bäahal was determined to leave. She argued that staying there and pretend she was still dead would not solve the issue and they would not know who gave the order. She had to be put out there, to face the ones who wanted her dead and force them to betray themselves. Jon understood, but he needed to know more about the operation so he could present it better to Daenerys.

Jon had always been pragmatic. He always looked at the bigger picture with a colder head than Daenerys. He talked with Bäahal and realized that her feelings were true. He already knew the stubborn nature of the silver princess and knew she would never give up on loving Jaime, no matter how badly her older sister wanted her to forget him. He understood the resentment the Queen still had towards the Lannisters, yet he was certain that Daenerys could see the bigger picture there and make her decision wisely. A lot was at stake here, Bäahal's happiness, but also the future of the kingdom. Jaime was hated in the seven kingdoms. People wanted him dead and wished that Kyra Lannister would fail her mission to rehabilitate the family's name. Many would try to attempt at this life and this put Bäahal through more danger. So what was left to do then? Should Dany refuse their union, she knew she was condemning her sister to a very unhappy life. Bäahal made sure to let them know that she couldn't love anyone but Jaime and refusing their love was forcing her to give up on Love. Dany didn't want her to return to being the silent servant she was when they first met.

Bäahal was devoting herself to her sister's happiness, to the point of ignoring her own needs and desires. The queen hated it, she hated to see Bäahal push back her own selfish desires in order to please her. Certainly, there were wars to wage and win, a throne to reclaim but after that? The Bäahal she knew told her that she would focus on making her sister happy and that would be enough for her. Which was a fabric of lies. Nobody could be happy if they didn't pursue their own happiness. Nobody could be happy by sacrificing their own lives and happiness for the sake of others. It didn't work that way and Bäahal would have been hurt. Dany couldn't allow it, but she also didn't want to give in and allow such a union. So what to do? She didn't know and for the first couple of days, she decided that avoiding a second conversation like the first terrible one they had, would be the answer.

It hurt Bäahal, and Jaime could see it on her face. He was far away but could read the body language of the princess and the queen. Both of them were walking on eggs, making sure to avoid the main topic of Bâahal's visit. He could see the sadness in the face of his beloved. He could see she was trying to hold back her tears but weakened when Dany walked past her. The tension that kept them stiff as wood finally was released and he watched his beloved cry. Bäahal held onto the heavy fabric of the gold and black dress she was wearing that day, her face tore apart by the sadness that poured from her heart. It wrecked his heart, knowing full well that it was his fault if she was crying now. How was it, that every time he was involved, he made the princess cry? Why was it, that every time he tried to do the right thing, he ended up hurting her more? He had warned Bäahal, that if she chose him, the path would be incredibly painful and difficult, yet she convinced him otherwise. She was so sweet and cute with her determination and hope that he gave into her words, yet here she was, crying her soul out.

Jaime wanted to rush to her sides, comfort her with his arms and a tender hug. He wanted to let her cry next to him, hidden by his body, protected from the whole world. He wanted to see her but his feet took him to the war room where commander Targaryen was expecting him. How he hated to take this turn and leave the princess behind. How he hated to be away from her. He sometimes wished he wasn't the man she fell in love with, how could she love a stupid man like his who always ended up hurting her whether he wanted it or not? How could she find all those qualities in him and still see him in such a positive light when he was nothing but an old knight who was best on the battlefield. So he walked by her, had to force himself off of her path so he could meet up with Jon Targaryen but he made a mental note to come to visit her at night. He knew she had enough of being isolated in her room with no one but herself to talk to, so that night, he decided he would go and talk to her, perhaps invite her for a walk to the kitchen or to see the dragons, but he would talk to her that night and would comfort her.

-TBC-

modern! Dany x Bäahal : Do you love him ?

Modern! Dany x Bäahal: Do you love him?

A/N: The aftermath of the interview

As soon as the interviewer and her crew left, it started to heavily rain on the Targaryen's palace. Bäahal sighed heavily and yanked her head back. She let her fingers run on her temple to massage them. Daenerys gently ran her hand over her dress and casually said without even looking at her sister.

« You hesitated when she asked you the question. Is there something new I have to know? »

« Do you sometimes listen to yourself, dear sister? What does your question even mean? »

« Are you seeing someone? » She kept asking, while she ran her hand over the folds of her dress. Dany furrowed her brows, visibly pissed that her dress refused to cooperate and that she might have had bad pictures of her about to be released to the press. Yet, her tone was cut and dry, with a hint of danger lingering on her voice. Bäahal shrugged and shook her head.

« Why would I be? You already control everything, Dany... you already disapprove of me. Why would I take the risk and add more issues between the two of us? » She sneered while staring at the ceiling.

« Why do you have to always be so difficult? I asked you a question, I demand an answer. Yes, or no? » She said, taking her « mothering » tone Bäahal hated so much. The youngster straightened on her seat and looked at her sister, her eyes burning with anger as she hated the way she was being talked to.

« Let's say for a moment that I would entertain the idea of seeing someone, which I am not. I am busy being a socialite since I can't do much without your approval. Let's say, I am seeing someone, then what? Is it going to be like with Elias all over again? Are you going to question me about him? Demand that you meet him before we can go any further? »

« I had to take care of you. » She coldly said. « You are a reckless little thing, Bäahal, and so full of energy and dreams like a puppy. This world isn't Disneyworld. This world will eat you like sharks eat anything that bleeds nearby. I warned you from the very beginning that Elias wasn't good for you. I told you clearly that he would break your heart and what did you do? Did you listen? »

« You said he wasn't good enough because he was a Dornish heir! You said he wasn't good enough because he didn't look 'elite'! He wasn't a Targaryen and just for this, you wouldn't have accepted him. Just like you never accepted me. »

« Don't ! » Daenerys breathed her last word and gave a head sign to the bodyguards, so they would leave the two women in the room alone.

« You've never accepted me because I'm a bastard! Dany, own your shit for once! Admit you hate my guts and move on! » She said, her eyes slowly filling themselves with unshed tears.

« What did I say? You're a reckless little thing. » Daenerys said, standing up to meet ¨Bäahal who had also stood up. «  Yes, I told you that Elias wasn't worthy of your Targaryen's blood but you were happy. Didn't I let you two pursue that romance? » She took Bäahal aback and had her shift her eyes from left to right. Yes, she did. Once Dany got over the fact he was Dornish, she allowed the two of them to have a romance. « Don't you remember what I asked you on that day? I asked you if you loved him. What did you say? »

« I said I did. I loved him with my whole heart. » Her voice shook and she put her hands on her waist. Dany then walked towards her sister and tilted her head to the side. « And you said... you said that I had to be careful and take full responsibility when he breaks my heart. » which was also true.

« I said that, yes. I foresaw his betrayal years ago. I knew he wouldn't have what it takes to love such a fiery soul as yours. He wouldn't look back after what he did and he would stomp your heart to your feet. Didn't I warn you? »

Bäahal started to suffocate in that room. It was becoming more and more difficult for her to breathe since she felt oppressed by the air and by Daenerys who reminded her of the worst moment of her life -that had nothing to do with the death of a parent-. Her heart started to beat faster and harder against her ribcage, forcing Bäahal to try and find an escape so she could puke her emotions. Daenerys did her best to hide the smirk that crept on her lips as she saw her sister lose her composure. She knew that what she was about to say was unjust and cruel, it was a complete lie given how things truly unfolded between Elias and Bäahal.

« Little sister...It is in your best interest not to hide a romance from me ever again. I am here to guide you, help you through the moving sands that love is. I can help you see the truth in the people you entrust your heart with. Elias shattered that heart of yours, so it is my duty to protect what's left and make sure that you don't suffer the same way. »

it was pure gaslighting. It was too much for Bäahal to deal with and she stormed out of the room, removed her shoes she held in her hands, and ran into the woods near the palace. There, as the rain started to heavily fall, soaking her to the bone, the heiress threw her shoes against a tree, removed her bun, and let her silver locks cascade onto her shoulders and back. She held her hair and screamed and sobbed as hard as the rain allowed her to cry. Her heart was hurting now, and it was making her so upset to be this hurt when just a moment ago, she was feeling so good about herself and about Jaime. Maybe Dany was right, maybe she shouldn't even try to form a connection with the Golden Lion, not because he would hurt her, but she might give him yet another reason to leave. Elias dumped her out of the blue, after promising her that he was the happiest man alive. Maybe Jaime would do the very same. Yet, yet deep down she would never leave him or stop seeing him. He wasn't like the others. He wasn't like Elias.

Daenerys smirked a little as she quietly walked outside of the room. She knew that her sister would behave and wouldn't have a clue as to why Elias left her. Dany bought him, plain and simple. She gave him enough money so he could start his business without his father's blessing and that was enough to make him leave a woman he supposedly loved. Without a word, without a text, without even a phone call. He just disappeared. It only was months later, when Bäahal finally reached out to him that he texted her back. « We're done. Stop looking for me. I found better. » how could she trust again after this? How could he love again after this? And yet, her heart was still capable of loving and was about to move on from Elias. There was no love left, and the pain hurt less and wouldn't have hurt that much if Dany hadn't said a word. Fucking hell!

-TBC-

Bäahal x Jaime: Breath

Bäahal x Jaime: Breath

A/N : Mood piece, taking place right after their first « night » together.

Xxx

As the princess closed the door of her cabin behind her, she could finally lean against the heavy wooden door of her cabin and look at the ceiling. Moments before, she was in Jaime's cabin, waking up from the sweetest slumber she'd ever had. Moments before, she was in his arms, her lips pressed to his cheek, to his lips, while his arms were wrapped around her frame. For so many months, probably more than a year now, the princess had been longing for the knight's touch. She'd been dreaming for a moment like this and none of her expectations could match reality. The reality was far better than any wet dreams she could have had. A myriad of emotions went through her body and the first reaction she had was to chuckle and smile to herself.

It felt good, to be in his arms, to smell his scent, to feel his stubble cheeks rub against her soft skin. It felt good to be able to press her forehead to his and smile through the darkness as her heart was content and happy. Her heart raced that night, his too... almost matching her speed. Her heart raced for he was close and it felt natural, it felt right. She felt like she belonged there, with him. She remembered holding onto his shirt as she fell asleep, and then knew their bodies parted ways during their sleep but it didn't matter, for the bed, was warm with his presence and he didn't leave the bed when the sun shone brightly.

After the laughter came tears. She realized that she had been deprived for so long from a loving touch that her body was feeling it too. Never before a man had ever looked at her as an equal, as a person. Never before had a man tried to stay with her and talk with her. All of those she used to know only knew how to force themselves on her and dismiss her once their deed was done as if she was nothing but a toy. Jaime was not like this. Jaime was not seeing her as a tool to use, but a person to love and that made her heartache, and rejoice at the same time. She dropped on the floor and wrapped her arms around her legs so she could keep herself together and cry. For so long, she thought it was impossible for another soul to want to be with her. She'd thought, they would never even consider her for how soiled she was. She thought Jaime could see the abuse on her skin, the brand on her shoulder blades, the fact she wasn't pure or proper...yet he didn't seem to even care about her past, or judge her for that matter. All he knew and all he wanted was the woman before her... nothing more, nothing less.. just Bäahal.

As she wiped her eyes clean with the back of her hand, the ebony Targaryen chuckled again, this time with hearty laugh filled with hope. If even the broken princess could find love in the midst of the fire, then everything was possible. She didn't think of what she lost, at least, not as much as before, when she was with him. She didn't think of what she could be, not as much as before when she was with him. She only thought of the moment they had. Of the peace, she felt in her heart when he held her close, of the love she felt for him when she could feel his skin. Jaime gave her something she never thought she could have, a purpose, a future, a solid foundation where she could build a life. Jaime gave her Hope... even before she knew she was in love with him and now that reality was settling in, she realized that she needed that Hope. She knew that they had crossed a line they shouldn't have crossed. Daenerys could decide to never let them be together and when that happens, what could they do about it, if not feel distraught? Bäahal knew they took a major risk, of opening the door to more suffering if they weren't allowed to be together.. but the princess didn't care, for she thought she had earned a few resting moments and peace... and love. After all, she'd just survived a siege, she could have died a few months ago. Why would she deny herself a piece of happiness when death was at the corner? Why would she deny herself a piece of happiness when she could be with the man she loved? She promised Kyra she would do anything in her power not to cause troubles to her family and keep them safe and she was ready to leave Jaime behind if that meant saving his life... but before they came to such extreme, couldn't she just be happy for once? Hadn't she deserved a little bit of respite? Of joy? Of Love? Hadn't they?

-TBC-

GoT : Big Dragon vs Little Dragon

For almost a year the Little Dragon had been away from the Big Dragon. Bäahal had not seen her sister for a while and didn't know how she would receive her. She didn't know what had happened since she left, except she was missed. Ever since she was attacked, the princess remained silent, forbidden to write to the queen in order to keep the traitors thinking she was killed off during the siege.

But she was missing Daenerys. After being so wounded and traumatized by her near-death, the only thing she wanted was to hold her sister again. feel at home again. Feel safe again. Unfortunately, she would be coming home with bad news... or news. As the sister of the queen, she had to report what happened, explain how she had been betrayed...and inform her sister of the budding romance between the knight and her. Daenerys held into the palm of her hand, her future with Jaime. The princess was well aware that if the queen forbade their union, then it wouldn't happen and both would be miserable.

So she dreaded seeing her again.
She dreaded to be home.
She dreaded the Dragon Queen.

//All usual disclaimers

Targaryens letters: 1 & 2

Targaryens letters:

// A/N: All the usual disclaimers: GOT doesn't belong to Me, Bäahal belongs to me. After she left King's Landing, she would write letters to her sister in order to keep her in the loop of things. 

xxxxxxxxx

Dear Dany.

I thought long and hard about what to say ever since I left king's landing but I couldn't find my words. I couldn't face my emotions so I left with nothing but a hug and a promise to come back later. When I left that day, I had to say I felt both relieved and sad. I didn't want to leave your side but I had to. As you know Ruling isn't for me, advising isn't for me either. I couldn't sit and watch you from afar. It didn't sound like me. It wasn't me. It still isn't.

I had to go out there, push myself to my limits so I could know who I was.... who I am. I need to know who I am. For far too long I had been the product of my father's heinous crime. I had been a slave, a dancer, an assassin.... and most recently I have been a sister and even a warrior but... who is Bäahal? Who am I? I have no idea, Daenerys. I don't know and not knowing is driving me crazy because I can't project myself to the future.

I left for another reason. One that you knew from the very beginning given how poorly concealed my emotions were. I care for Lod Jaime. I care for him and I can't let him be on his own. He's just lost the love of his life.... he's hated by many, he must feel lonely. Eventually, should I learn someone killed him, I want to give him a proper burial. I can't explain why I am doing it but I have to. So I will find him, even if it takes me years I have to find him. And myself in the process. I hope you will forgive me, Dany. I hope you won't believe I am abandoning you. I hope this letter finds you.

With love.

Bäahal.

Xxxxxxxx

Dear Dany,

It's been a couple weeks now since I Left King's landing. I should have said something earlier but couldn't find the strength to write a letter. I feel the need to apologize to you. I miss you and I know you probably feel the very same for me right now. I will come back, I promise you that, I will be back. Being far away first seemed like a very bad idea. I was missing you badly, I was wondering if my decision to leave was sound and right. I was afraid I made a mistake and somehow I guess I was afraid to find myself. Then it became clearer and clearer as I visited new places. People never had the visit of the

a sovereign before until I came and I think, no I'm sure, it's helping people. it's helping you. I want nothing but to help you reign as peacefully as possible and have you sit on the throne with our kin, Jon. I know you haven't officially claimed anything regarding your relationship with Jon but it's clear that you care for him. it's clear that you love him. I see the way you look at him and the way he looks at you and I see...I see beauty.

oh sister........... it is a very lonely journey. one I am not sure I will be able to do by myself. I am filled with doubt, sister and fear but as any true Targaryen, I have to move forward, so I will.

let me know how you're doing.

I love you