Nixus: Bianchi vs Phoenix

 Phoenix and Bianchi 

Phoenix was correcting copies on her dinner table when her phone rang.  She glanced at it, expecting to see Debbie’s name or Marc’s on the screen. Her eyes grew wide as it was neither of them. It was Christie Bianchi, Marc’s partner and family, who was calling her for the first time since they exchanged numbers.  She immediately picked up the call and cleared her throat before answering it. 

« Christie! Woah. You never call. Should I be worried? »

« No. No, don’t worry. I didn’t plan to call you. It’s just…. I’m with JM, Tony is out of town, the older kids are out of town, and the house feels… empty. I thought I would be happy about it, but I miss the daily chaos... » 

«You miss Tony, don’t you? Do you want me to come over for coffee or anything else?” 

“I would have said I was fine with just talking over the phone, but yes, come over.”

“I'll be there in a minute.”

After she hung up the phone, Phoenix blinked and started to pace around her living room. Was it a good idea to go alone to Bianchi’s house? She furrowed her brows and tapped her fingers. She had never been alone with Bianchi and did not know what to expect. The woman was very cunning and very direct. She would grill her with questions and would only stop once satisfied with the answer. If she were like Debbie, perhaps she would want to know more about her feelings for Marc, and this, Phoenix could deal with.  The teacher stood up, grabbed her jacket, her bag, and her keys, and left her apartment. She took a cab to Bianchi's house, walked past the driveway, and rang the doorbell. 

Bianchi rushed to the front door and opened it with one hand while the other held onto her youngest child. She tilted her head to the side, quickly glancing at the gorgeous woman before her, in plain denim jeans, a white shirt, and tennis shoes. Bianchi herself was wearing a loose tracksuit, with a white tank top and a pair of sleepers.  She pushed the door wider and stepped back to let Phoenix walk into her home. She briskly walked towards the living room. The teacher gently closed the door behind her and joined Christie in the living room. She was holding JM and trying to soothe her child by rocking back and forth. The room was a bit cluttered but very lovely with a large sofa, a wide flat-screen, and a lovely small wooden table where a few magazines were displayed. Phoenix sat on the sofa and tucked some hair behind her ear while her blue eyes stared at the blonde mother. 

"You know, you can give me JM if you need a break."

"Are you sure? He's been very fussy today, and I can't seem to be able to calm him down."

"That's because you're exhausted, Christie. Hand the boy over and get yourself some coffee or some tea. I'll be fine." 

JM was indeed fussy, and he kicked and wiggled in his mom's arms before he saw the beautiful woman sitting on the sofa. He extended his arms for her to pick him up, and Phoenix stood up and grabbed the child. She returned to the sofa and sat while Christie went to fetch herself a hot cup of coffee. She poured some fresh water into a glass and came back to the living room to hand it over to Phoenix.

"You are an angel, Phoenix. Thank you. I was at my wits' end today. I am not used to Tony being away for so long. I figured that maybe we could spend the afternoon together and  have a proper talk?"

"If I did not know you, I would have thought you wanted to trick me into confessing my little secrets to you. " -She was sincere, but the little chuckle she added to her sentence helped pass it off as a joke. Bianchi ran her hand through her blond locks and chuckled at her words, taking them as a joke.-

"Well.... I know I have the habit of never letting Marc off the hook, but it's because it's so difficult to get him to talk. He likes to keep to himself, doesn't he?" -She laughed, and when Nix took the glass of water, she walked back to the kitchen to keep an eye on her coffee.- "Besides, I wanted to get to know you better. After all, you're Marc's girl, and since Marc is family, it's like you are part of my family too. What a terrible sister I would be if I did not care for you."

Her words were warm, and Phoenix forced herself to take a few sips of her water and to put the glass on the table. JM was fascinated by her hair, so he held onto her locks and pulled on them. It did not bother Phoenix, who found herself smiling to herself and rubbing the back of the child. Was she family? Christie was trying to show up for her and let her know that she could count on her, too. Debbie was family, and in Phoenix's heart, she would always be her sister, but Bianchi was also welcoming her to her big family, accepting her as being worthy of having a big family too. of belonging somewhere and to some people.

" I am honoured that you think of me as family. I am glad you thought of me, and for the record, Marc is talking to me. I don't have to work hard to get an answer from him." -She chuckled and pressed JM's head against her chest as the child was finally losing his battle with sleep-

"Pfftt and now you're flexing on me." -Bianchi laughed and then came back to the living room with her cup of coffee...- "But it's good. I am glad that you guys communicate well. It means Marc is comfortable with you. Look, I think I should come clean to you. When Marc brought up the topic of his hot neighbour, I had to look you up. I noticed that you've been in the USA for two years, matching the time you arrived in Detroit. You've been there before, but on tourist visas." 

"That's correct." 

"At first, I was a bit surprised that there was not a lot of presence online before you arrived in Detroit. I was very suspicious of you, but I could not bring it to Marc, not until I had vetted you."

"Understandable. What did you find, then?"

"You've worked for the Belgian secret services. Obviously, I could not have access to your files, but your presence was confirmed, and your former supervisor spoke highly of you. Your work helped not only Belgium but also a few African countries and the USA. Your records are squeaky clean, and you were even awarded a medal. He assured me that you never worked in the field, but you received some training."

"It's been a lifetime ago, Christie. I can see that you wanted to know why I moved to the USA. I needed a change. I needed something bright. My previous work was extremely stressful, and I was confronted with the hideous side of mankind. I needed to have hope again. I worked on intelligence, I never took lives, but I saw first-hand the horrors of the war."

"I see. I tried to look up further in your past. All I could find was that you were born in Congo. That you are an orphan, and you went into the Belgian foster care system." 

Bianchi narrowed her eyes, observing Phoenix's reactions to her words. These were the truth, breadcrumbs she could not hide and did not want to. While she joined the Belgian secret services, the truth was that it was her cover. She was working for the Guild, taking on missions on their behalf while maintaining the perfect cover of a secret agent from the Belgian Services.  She pinched her lips together and pressed a kiss to JM's forehead. Her hands trembled, and Bianchi noticed it.  Deep down, the teacher was scared of Bianchi wanting to look further into her and uncovering her lies by doing so. 

"Also true. What is it that you want to know?" -her voice tried to remain neutral, but it cracked, and she licked her bottom lip to try and keep her composure-

"Is there something that I should know that you are not telling Marc?"

"Yeah... I can't bring myself to talk about it, but I guess that since you've looked into me, I might as well tell you the truth. Marc only knows that I have been a headhunter; I used to connect people together. It is true in the sense that part of my job in the secret services was to bring the right people to the right places, for testimonies, for witness protection, for plea deals with the DA... I did not specify what I was doing because I simply couldn't discuss the cases I worked on.  I did not want to lie to him, but I am trying to distance myself from that work and the shit I saw there. " -She took a deep breath- 

"Phoenix.. I'm sorry..." Bianchi put her hand over her mouth. She put the coffee on the table and sat next to Phoenix on the sofa.-

"I will tell him when I am ready. I also did not tell him the shit I endured in foster care. Does he really need to know the horror stories I have? He knows about the whip scars on my back. From childhood until adulthood, I was punished for any mistake I made.  I was raised for perfection, and I failed every single time, and they reminded me, every. single. time. I did not tell him about my first time...about the other times that followed, because what's the point in bringing that up? I was a tool, a plaything for my foster parents. I was a pretty doll that was anything they wanted me to be. I was an orphan; nobody loved me, so it was easy to take advantage of me. I never had a family, and the only man I fell in love with faked his own death instead of breaking up with me, after years of sweet-talking me about a future together. I can't tell Marc about any of this because if I do... If I do... I will break into a thousand pieces."

She ended up crying, unable to keep her tears from falling. She wanted to look strong, especially in front of her boyfriend's best friend, but she simply could not keep her tears from rolling down her cheeks. It was the truth, maybe not all of it, but it was the truth and being able to speak it broke her mind. Bianchi gently stroked her back, trying to comfort her. She felt protective of her and perceived her answers as genuine.  Bianchi squeezed her arm and pinched her lips together.

"I am sorry, Nix. I did not want to bring back awful memories. I wanted to come clean to you because it was eating at me a bit. It's just... You're Marc's first girlfriend. Before you, he hooked up with a lot of girls, and I wanted to protect him.  I wanted to know--"

"I am in love with Marc. He is my home, my safe place, and my person. I want to grow old with him, have a lovely and quiet life with Marc. Christie... Do I make him happy?"

"Uh? Why are you asking-- Yes...Yes, you do. If you did not, I would have told you."

"Would you? I hope so...I'm new to dating, new to building a life with someone else...If you knew that he was not happy, I would hope that you would tell me so I could fix things. I would hate it if he were unhappy with me. I would-"

"Hey, relax. You're doing great. He's happy, and I am happy. I'm sorry I came up strong, but it had to be done. Now now, tell me how you managed to make JM fall asleep on you?"

Phoenix looked at the little guy who was comfortably sleeping against her chest.  She used the hand that stroked the child's back to wipe her face clean. She calmed down and gave a gentle smile to Christie. After all, the blonde woman was trying to look out for her best friend, and while she came off strongly, it reassured Phoenix to know that the guild respected their word and buried her past. She managed to convince a cop of her sincerity by telling the truth and felt that she was welcomed. Bianchi took advantage of her son being asleep to actually talk about more mature issues with Phoenix. She was able to talk about her family and her love for her husband, Tony. Not one to be shy about anything, she dived deep into her sexual life, laughed about some shenanigans her child did, and curiously asked questions about Marc.  Phoenix did not give her too much info, but she assured her that Marc satisfied her beyond her expectations.  They talked so much that night fell upon them, and Phoenix decided to go back home.  Bianchi put her son to bed and walked Phoenix to her cab.  As they said goodbye, she hugged the woman as tight as she could and whispered. 

"Thank you for coming. I had a lot of fun with you today. You know you can drop by anytime you need to. Both you and Marc are welcome."

" Thank you, Christie. If you want to come to my place, well, you definitely can too. Thanks for the afternoon." 

-TBC-

TB: Another monster, another danger

The boys: Soldier boy x Sara

Sara did not like going to the Vaught Tower. It never felt like Home but rather one of those corporate meetings she often had with her marketing team. It felt impersonal, empty, and unwelcoming. However, she liked to visit Homelander and Ryan and was willing to overlook how uncomfortable she felt there.  She did not keep up with the latest developments at Vaught, but she understood that there had been a massive shift in the atmosphere. Everyone was afraid. Humans and supes alike. 

She thought that as long as she did not interfere with whatever shit was happening, she could ignore it. For the longest time, that seemed to be working for her. Today was an exception, though. She was able to see Homelander and Ryan for a couple of hours, but something came up, and her visit was cut short by the emergency. As soon as Homelander and Ryan left the tower, she was left alone in his room, and Soldier Boy broke into the place, unannounced. He was visibly upset, his jaw was tight, and his fists clenched. He yelled “Homelander,” and his voice echoed through the room, making Sara squirm and gasp. She quickly stood up, ready to use her powers to protect herself, but as soon as she saw who was in the room, her arms dropped on either side of her frame, and her fingers held onto the hem of her skirt.

“He left with Ryan an hour ago.” was all she could say. Her chest started to heave up and down, and she swallowed a lump.- “I can take a message for him, if…. You don’t mind.” - She was treading carefully. Soldier boy was known to be extremely powerful but also very volatile, and she did not want to piss him off, especially since no one could protect her.- 

“And who the fuck are you?” - His frown grew harder- 

“Sara…. Homelander’s girlfriend…. Sara Richardson, Sir.” -her breathing was sharp, but she held onto her skirt tighter- 

He blinked upon hearing her claims. Ridiculous! His…offspring, dating a black woman?  He cleared his throat and tilted his head to the side while he narrowed his eyes. In his time, exotic women were for the fucking. You had fun with them, but you never dated them. You never settled for one. So, for him, it was insulting to even imagine his "offspring" entertaining the idea of dating a black woman. He tilted his head to the right and furrowed one brow. 

“Come again!?”

“I… I’m Homelander’s girlfriend! Sara,  Soldier Boy...Sir.” -She stumbled on her words, hoping that he would not be mad at her-

“That motherfucker!!" -He yelled, lifting the corner of his upper lip- "I did not think he could hate… B--But why?” 

“Why what?” She furrowed her brows. What exactly did he want to say? In the pit of her stomach, the young woman knew exactly what he wanted to say. Her lips quivered, but she kept a strong face-

“Why is he dating you? Is it a fetish? I didn’t think he had jungle fever with all the wannabe fascist shit he’s trying to pull. Are you his pet or something?” -Each word that came out of his lips felt like a knife tearing up her flesh. She could feel his disgust, his disapproval, and perhaps some envy, too. It was confusing-

“Watch your mouth!”- She warned, angry at the mere thought that her relationship was not taken seriously-

“Or what? Are you afraid I am right? Why are you with him? Is it money? Is it fame?” -He still could not understand what he had just heard. Something stirred inside him, but he could not figure out what that was, except a deep anger that was slowly turning into blinding rage-

“I’m a fucking megastar! I don’t need Homelander for money or fame! I /chose/ to be with him.” -Her tongue was sharp now as she was heated.-

She heard a lot of things from people when her relationship with Homelander became public. They faced an onslaught of hatred and insults. Homelander was spared those insults, given how powerful he was both figuratively and politically. However, Sara got the brunt of the hatred towards them. She was at fault, a deceiver of their great lord and savior, unworthy of being his love for a myriad of reasons. Some thought she was not pretty enough. Others simply did not like the fact that she was a black woman. Some hoped Homelander would have chosen a slender woman. Sara quickly learned to behave the same way she did with her haters when she started her career: To ignore and rise above those poisonous words.  

She had to take it to her face and pretend that it did not affect her when deep down she was trying not to drown in her own fear and heartbreak. It took a while to get used to it, and perhaps some more time to completely immunize herself against these words, but in front of Soldier Boy, Sara was not sure about how it would end. If he wanted, he could snap her body in two. If he wanted, he could make her suffer a thousand deaths, and despite knowing she was Homelander's girlfriend, he would not stop himself from doing whatever he wanted to do to her. Best-case scenario, Soldier Boy killed her on the spot. Worst-case scenario, he would want to do something else, degrade her, maybe? Torture her, eventually? She did not know what to expect and slowly prepared for the worst to happen. 

“Ooohh, I see! You’re a freak like him. What’s your thing? Lasered tits? Spanking?” -His tone had changed. There still was this bubbling rage under the surface, but she could also feel a growing interest in her, in what made her special and what drove his "offsprings" towards her. Soldier Boy wanted to understand, and she was starting to notice it. the curiosity. the need to deride Homelander, the deep hatred he had for him.-

“What is wrong with you!!?” She asked in disbelief. 

Sara could feel it. Soldier boy was studying her, his green eyes focused on her like a hawk. She was beautiful. That much he could tell and admit to himself. She had the most intriguing features, with those plump lips of hers, her eyes were black, deep onyx orbs that were staring at him. Soldier Boy swallowed a lump and stroked his chin. She was hot! He could see her thick thighs, her wide hips (and guessed she had a fat ass). He could see her large breasts, all-natural like he liked them, and her long, silky black hair. He noticed her freckles, and that caught his attention.  Soldier boy tilted his head to the side and furrowed his brows. 

“What’s with your skin?” -He decided to close the distance between the two of them. He realized that she was extremely nervous, perhaps scared of him. It made him stop in his tracks and stay a few steps away from her.  Why was she scared of him? Women usually threw themselves at him in droves, and very few resisted him.  -They weren't pretty anyway, so he did not care about it- but it bothered him more and more to see that she was still very loyal to Homelander-

“What?”

“Is it a condition or something?”

“Freckles…. Why do you care?” She was defensive, protective of her body. She did not like the way he spoke about it, as if she were a freak. She also did not like the way he was looking at her.

Sara knew desire when she saw it. Something about Soldier Boy was attracted, she could tell, but Sara was not stupid. She knew he did not like Homelander and might just want to mess with his son. Rumours had it that he slept with Firecracker to get back at Homelander, as he thought they were an item. With Sara claiming to be his girlfriend, perhaps what drove him towards Firecracker was driving him towards Sara. Perhaps, he only saw her as a sex doll, someone to fuck and discard after he used her. Perhaps he did not believe that Sara could be loyal to Homelander. Either way, she did not like the way he was gawking at her and talking to her so dismissively. 

"Well, young lady, pardon my French, but I don't understand why the fuck you and Homelander are a thing. Now that I see you up close, I can see that you are a hot piece of chocolate, and I can understand why he would want to dip into you.  I also don't believe that this freak can love anyone but himself. So if he's with you, it's just sex, and if it's just sex, that means I can fuck you too."

Her reaction was immediate. She closed the distance and slapped him. It was a hard slap. A strong and hard slap that made him turn his head to the side and stroke his cheek.  He licked his bottom lip, surprised by her boldness but appreciating it all the same. She did not like to hear him claim that Homelander was just using her like a living sex-doll, and even less his proposal to fuck her too. She wasn't a slut, and she would not let him insult her. So she was not a pushover either. 

"You're bold. I give you that. Normally, anyone who lays a hand on me does not live to tell the tale." -He grunted, and she took a couple of steps back, but he grabbed her waist and pulled her towards him- "So you're not a slut. You're not with Homelander for sex.  You claim to love him? You claim he loves you?"

"It's none of your business. If you want to kill me, do so now, but Homelander would hunt your ass and would fucking kill you! I don't deal with disrespect, and you were acting like a cunt moments ago. Now, He's not here. He asked me to wait for him and Ryan, and I want to. I suggest you leave, and I suggest you get your hands off me." -He released her waist nd she took a couple of steps back- " And for the record, even if you paid me a billion dollars, I would not cheat on Homelander, especially not with his father. I love him, and you don't have to understand. I don't have to explain myself to you. Your son loves me, and we have something genuine! so Fuck off!" 

"I don't take orders, Miss. I don't fucking take orders! Especially not from women and especially not from someone like you." -He grabbed her arm and squeezed it hard, eliciting a painful groan from Sara that quickly turned into noisy supplications- "Homelander is not here, so I could do whatever I want to do to you." -He was bruising her and fear strangled her-  "I could fucking take you right there and mark you with my scent if I wanted."

"You're an asshole....Not a rapist...Get off me!!... Please! Please.." -She cried out while wiggling to escape his grip-

There was what he wanted to see. Fear. Good old-fashioned fear. He watched her chest heave up and down, her legs shake, her eyes fill up with unshed tears. Sara was not exactly a brave person; it was the opposite. She was self-serving; she wanted to survive and was willing to do anything to stay alive. Her heart was racing against her ribcage, and he noticed that she was wetting her shirt...and it strongly smelled like milk. Milk? He released her hand as his nogging worked fast.  Was she a new mother? He had not seen a baby when he walked into the room. She did not mention a baby either. Was it her power?  He was distracted by her wet shirt, so much so that he released her wrist. 

"Is it your power?"

"No, sir.... I control gravity."

"Are you a new mother?" -She shook her head- " Side effect of your power?" -She nodded-

"Yes, Sir....when I'm afraid....When I'm aroused..." - She chose to answer truthfully as it seemed to be helping her.- "Please... don't hurt me anymore." 

"I see. I won't hurt you. I'm not that big of a dick." 

He was annoyed at her reaction to him. Annoyed and aroused at the same time. Annoyed and angry. The rage that was bubbling at the surface was threatening to spill out as Soldier Boy's hatred for Homelander only grew bigger. It was suffocating him. He groaned and quickly left the room. Sara intrigued him in a twisted way. He had to have her, not because he was attracted to her, but because he wanted to use her against his son. He knew that if he fucked her, Homelander would unravel, and he would get back at him. Besides, it would not be such a drag since Sara was hot. It annoyed him that she looked at him as if he were a monster; that part bothered him more than he wanted to admit, but he did not want to think about that or what he could do to help her change her mind. He left the floor and walked back to his quarters.  He had ammo against Homelander and decided to store the knowledge somewhere in his mind so he could use it against him later on. Oh, yes, he will.  

-TBC-

Nixus Trivia

1)  How would you react if someone heavily flirted with them in front of you?

Phoenix would not intervene. She trusts Marc to handle the situation himself. 

2) How do you react when they have a nightmare? 

She would quickly sit on the bed, talk to him through the nightmare, and touch his arm, his chest, maybe even sing a lullaby to try and soothe him.

3) Is it easy to talk sweetly to them? Give pet names? Hold their hands? Make a soft PDA? (Kissing, holding hands, hugging) 

With Marc, it is very easy to make soft PDA (she loves to kiss him, hold his hand, and hug him). Pet names come very easily to her (she writes Tiger in text. She says mon coeur  when they have sex. She calls him honey after hearing Debbie and Wallace call each other that.)

4) What is the couple activity you have always wanted to do with someone that you have never tried before? 

Cooking together.  And when it comes to public activities, she wants to go swimming with him. She wants to enjoy swimming, playing with him, hugging him in the water… It’s simple, but she is longing for a moment like that 🙂

5) Do you like to look at their body? Their faces? 

She never stops looking at Marc. She thinks he’s the most handsome man she’s ever seen. She loves it when he scowls, but she loves it even more when he smiles at her. She shamelessly checks him out when he walks into the room she’s in. She loves his shape, especially his nicely-toned body. She loves his face so much.

6) Do you recognize their footsteps? Their laughs in a sea of laughs?

Yes, and before they even became a thing. She always knows when her hot cop is walking around or when he laughs

7) How would you react if they can’t finish? If you can’t finish? (Sex question) 

She would not be mad at him if he’s not able to finish, regardless of the reasons. She would instead suggest they cuddle, talk, and bask in the warmth of their home and their tangled arms. 

She will feel guilty if she can’t finish. It rarely happens, but intense stress could cause it. She would want to make both of them happy and would feel that she failed. But Marc would obviously reassure her even before she thinks about apologizing. And she would feel better.

8) What is the cute thing you like to do when they are here?

She likes to sit on his lap and wrap her arms around his shoulder.  It just feels natural to be close to him like that.

9) How does hearing them call your name/pet name feel? 

It makes her melt. She can’t believe someone cares for her enough to want to call her endearing names.  It would make her heart beat faster, and she would hide a bit behind her hair.  It touches her soul and heals it.

10) If tomorrow they become disabled, would you become their carer and stay?

She will always be there for him. If he becomes disabled, she would stay and would try to get him the best care in the world!

Nixus: A night out

"Why are you so nervous, Cal? Is it because you're going to meet Chief Walker's girlfriend for the first time, or is it because you're hoping that her friend is as pretty as she is?" 

"Bullshit! Cass, I am just a bit nervous around Chief Walker, that's all. I've gotten on his nerves today, and I don't want to make any more mistakes." -The blonde woman nudged her colleague's chest-

"Relax, Cal. He does not dwell on mistakes. He knows you'll work hard not to make the same mistake again. We've been there before. Chill, take a beer. Oh, here they are." - He groaned and cleared his throat. Debbie Malone walked into the bar, in a gorgeous floral dress and small black heels. She had locked arms with Phoenix, who was wearing a simple long-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of black pants with loose fabric and black heels-

"Hiiii baby! How was your day?" -Debbie tiptoed while Chief Walker bent forward to press a kiss to her lips-

"I have been waiting for this sweet moment all day long." -He grinned and then looked at Phoenix and waved his hand to greet her. She nodded and waved back at him-

When Debbie invited Phoenix over for a night out with Chief Walker, the teacher agreed to go. Her best friend noticed that it had been a while since she indulged in a night out with friends, and she wanted to help Phoenix relax after dreadful "parents' and teachers '" meetings. So the honey-haired woman let Debbie drive her to a bar a couple of blocks away from the firehouse. There, Chief Walker and three of his colleagues were waiting for them.  There was a woman, Cassidy, a brunette with green eyes and olive skin, a man called James, tall and muscular with short blond hair and blue eyes, and another man called Callum, a brown-haired man with a lean build.  All three welcomed the duo with arms wide open and ordered beers for the whole table.

The bar was full, and truly, upon taking a closer look at it, Phoenix realized that it was a firefighter bar, with the occasional cops drinking there too. It even doubled as a sports bar since there was a huge TV on the wall that constantly played football games.  Phoenix greeted everyone personally and sat next to Debbie, who was already melting in her chair, next to her boyfriend.  The teacher made herself comfortable in her chair and tucked some hair behind her ear. Phoenix always took time to just observe her surroundings. She listened to everyone, watched an enamoured Debbie, lovingly staring and talking to Chief Walker. When everyone settled into a pleasant routine, she stopped talking and grabbed her phone. She felt a bit guilty because her thoughts were focused on Marc when she promised Debbie she would be thinking about herself and socializing with others. Phoenix wanted to, she tried really hard to, but ever since she had the guts to ask Marc out, she felt like she was on cloud 9. Her footsteps were lighter, her heart was full, and her thoughts were filled with memories of that hot cop. 

She chewed at her bottom lip, scrolled through her contact list and stopped by Marc's name. He was registered under the name Marc "boyfriend" Flynn. It was corny, extremely corny, but she had to write it down (and replace the other corny nickname "Hot cop" she initially used for him). She wanted to make sure it was real, that she was dating him and not imagining things. She had already decided that it would be temporary until she found a better nickname for him. Seeing his name made her heart flutter, and for a brief moment, she remembered his face in the morning, under the sheets. She remembered his smile as he cupped her cheeks.  It was so warm that she could feel the butterflies in her stomach. She could feel her heartbeat go faster and her heart dance in her ribcage. She loved the wrinkles in his eyes, the dimples on his cheeks when he genuinely smiled, the way his eyes lit up when he saw her. It made her feel seen... wanted.. and alive. 

Across the table, Cal was looking at her. When she walked into the bar, he didn't think much of her. She was pretty, but she was doing her best to be invisible, and at first, he mistook her behaviour for shyness. Yet, he heard her laugh. He watched her face light up, and that made him focus on her. She was beautiful, far more than he expected her to be. Her honey-haired was gently framing her face, complementing her cerulean eyes well,  and he was left staring at her with a growing interest. He watched her face warm up to her screen, and an elbow nudge from Cassidy tore him out of his thoughts. 

"You should go and talk to her. She is very pretty, and I don't see a ring on her finger."

"What are you, Cass? A matchmaker?"

"All I'm saying is that I see the way you are devouring her, so go cowboy, shoot your shot." -He cleared his throat and shrugged. She was right. What was there to lose? Debbie noticed Cal walk up to her best friend and decided to keep an eye on their exchange just in case. Phoenix noticed someone was standing in front of her and  stopped looking at her phone to acknowledge the man before her-

"Phoenix, right? Hello."

"Hello, uh, Cal, is that right?" -He nodded and put his hand on his chest- "How is the evening going? I'm sorry, I have been a little bit distracted-

"Well, the person who is making you smile like that is definitely lucky." - He smiled at her, and she blushed- 

"Thank you, well... It's my boyfriend. I was trying to be a good girl tonight and not text him, but I failed. Aha." -She put her fingers to her mouth,  and then gave him a sheepish smile. She said it out loud! She said she had a boyfriend. Cal's disappointment was unmistakable, and she realized that he actually wanted to flirt with her.  Did she turn down someone? Cal sighed but smiled afterwards. He took a chair out and sat next to her.

"Well, I was right. He is a lucky man. I just had to try my luck. I think you are beautiful. Tell me, who is this lucky guy?"

"Are you... Are you serious? I've just told you that I have a boyfriend and you're not mad?" -He shook his head and laughed- "What's funny?"

"Sincerely, with the type of job I am doing, I have thick skin. A pretty girl turned me down, and that's the highlight of my day. Come on, tell me more about that guy."

"He is a cop. He's a bit older than me. Uh...He's trustworthy, hard-working, genuine and safe.... He makes me feel safe. He is very clever and very observant. I... It's a very new relationship, but I'm constantly thinking about him." She said in a little confessing tone. Was it the excitement of being in a relationship that took over her rationality? Or was it the fact that she admitted to someone who was not her best friend? Cal found her endearing; she spoke as if this relationship with Marc was her very first. It reminded him of high school, and he gave her a warm smile. 

"Now, that's a hard sell! He looks like a nice fella, and you look very much in love with him, Phoenix." - She nodded and then dropped her head to hide behind her curtain of hair- "It's okay, I think it's cute. I hope that he will treat you right then, and if not, I will happily pay him a visit." -He chuckled and took a sip of his beer while she fidgeted with her hair-

"Don't worry. I'm a big girl. I can handle myself pretty well. Do you think I should text him? He's working right now, but I miss him, and I want him to know that." - He chuckled and nodded-

"Do it. I know I would have been happy if a beautiful girl like you had texted me something so cute."

[Texts: Boyfriend] "Hey, Tiger. I am sending you all the strength for your shift. I am out with Debbie, but all I can think of is you. I miss you. Stay safe."

She showed Cal her text and bit her bottom lip while he read it.  Nix blushed harder while Cal nodded and smiled at her. He gave her a thumbs up, and she hit send. She then put her phone in her bag and cleared her throat. 

"I don't have much experience when it comes to dating. I had someone before, but I can't even call him a boyfriend because he never did the bare minimum with me. He broke my heart in ways I never knew it could be broken, and I shut down completely. I wanted the world to forget about me, heck! I wanted to disappear from the surface of the planet, but then I met Debbie, and she became my best friend. I then met Marc, and now my broken heart is slowly mending itself.  I hope that my love would not suffocate him. I hope that he will be happy with me. I hope I won't make mistakes and be a bad girlfriend."

"I am sure you won't be. You care about him. Do we fuck up sometimes? Definitely.  All we can do is try to avoid making them or make up for them. You care about him, and as long as he feels it, you're good." - He lifted his beer- " Let's drink to that new relationship and no hard feelings for turning me down." -She clicked her beer to his and took a sip of her beer-

Karaoke night started, and suddenly, people gathered around the TV. Some people started to sing, and Nix's face lit up. She glanced at Debbie, who excitedly nodded and turned to Wallace, and they all stood up to join the group of amateur singers. Nix could feel her heart pound against her ribcage. She wanted to hear Marc's voice again, but knew that it was not possible. Not when he was on a shift and not when she was supposed to enjoy a night out with friends. Cal nodded and went ahead. Cassidy and James followed. Debbie grabbed Wallace's hand and walked towards her friend. 

"What was that about?"

"To quote Cal, he tried to shoot his shot with me, but I turned him down without even realizing it, ah! I told him I was smiling because I was thinking about my boyfriend."

"Aaawwwww! Did you hear that, honey? She is lovestruck." She jumped a little bit and then wrapped her arms around Chief Walker's waist. 

"Perhaps someday we would go on a double date with Debbie. I have worked with Marc Flynn a couple of times, on cases that needed us to collaborate. I would like to meet him under more relaxed circumstances. Besides, if you chose him, that could only mean that he is a good guy."

"Chief! Do you trust me that much?" -She giggled- "But thanks. I will keep that in mind. We haven't actually met each other's friends, but when we decide to, I will talk to Debbie." - She fanned herself with her left hand and pointed at the karaoke spot. "Until then, shall we go and have fun singing tonight?"

"We shall go." -He smiled and let the two women go ahead of him. 

Wallace was not the kind to speak more than he should. He was fond of Phoenix and considered her a dear friend of his. She selfishly helped him romance Debbie and know what she liked so he could pursue her the right way. They became good acquaintances, maybe even friends, now that he was dating Debbie, and he quickly became protective of her. The firefighter almost chuckled at how small the world was when his girlfriend told him about Phoenix dating Marc Flynn. He knew the man, enough to trust him and to see how professional he was.  He knew she was in good hands and genuinely wanted to meet the man. Phoenix seemed happy.  She mingled with the group, talked to Cassidy and James, and applauded the people who sang those popular songs. She even boldly took the mic and sang the next song with a beautiful voice. 

"She needed that night out, honey. I'm happy to see that she's having fun."

"You always know what to do, honey. I am glad to see her like that." 

He stood behind her and wrapped his powerful arms around her waist. He pulled her against his hard frame and pressed a kiss to her temple. Nix was happy; she was able to spend a night out with friends. She was able to relax and even mentioned having a boyfriend, and discussed it with a complete stranger. She realized that even in this setting, well, she couldn't help herself but think about Marc. She was thinking about when they would see each other later that night. She was thinking about running a bath for the two of them, about feeling his arms wrapped around her waist and his lips pressed to her neck. She wanted to see him again and felt a little pang in her heart. She would see him again, soon and would be able to tell him about her good night out with her friends. Life was good, and for the first time, Phoenix thought that she was actually having it good.  She was having it good. 

-TBC-

The Pitt: The bachelor pad: first steps. WIP

//Adding a second chapter because I want to see them in their intimacy. For this chapter, I will only call Dr. Robby, Michael, and Dr. Okwuje-Mclane, Nana.//

The Pitt, end of shift:

Once his shift ended and they wrapped things up with the night shift, Dr. Robby waited for Dr. Okwuje-McLane to join him, and the two took a cab to his bachelor pad.  During the drive, Michael remained silent, unwilling to break the comfortable silence that had settled between them and the cab driver. He needed these moments of silence -which he usually filled with music in his AirPods-, out of his mind, out of his life. She needed to recharge her batteries and rest her voice for the whole duration of the trip. Silence felt good, and as she leaned her forehead against the car window for the whole trip, the young woman focused on how her shift went. 

It was exhausting, perhaps more since she had a meltdown. It made her realize that she was, after all, still traumatized by the slaughter of her family. She lost control of herself to the point that she lashed out at her colleagues and showcased so much anger that it made her bark at them. It made her bark at him! Nana chewed at her bottom lip and furrowed her brows until they arrived at his building. After the car dropped them off at his apartment building, they kept the comfortable silence between them, and she followed him to his floor. He grabbed his keys and, in a swift motion, the man opened the door of his place. 

"Well... Welcome to my man cave." - Michael joked and let her walk into his place before he closed the door behind them- 

"It looks like you." -She whispered while she removed her tennis shoes and placed them near the front door, right where Michael put his shoes. She then walked into his living room and placed her bag at the sofa's feet.-

"What is that supposed to mean?" -He inquired with a quirked brow. She chuckled and shook her hand as if to tell him not to take her words too seriously- "No, really, Nana, what do you mean by it looks like me?"

"It's dark and mysterious..." She grinned, stretched her arms, and sat on the sofa- "I'm joking. This is a bona fide bachelor's pad. I can see your vinyls... I can see your medical books, pictures on the wall, a guitar here, and some magazines on the table. I'm very sure your bedroom looks like a worse version of the living room." -She chuckled when she saw Michael close the distance between them and  sat on the sofa next to her.-

"Well, if you behave tonight, maybe you will be able to see my bedroom." -She took a fake outraged look on her face, and he chuckled- "Yes, miss ma'am, you've been put on notice, so you better behave tonight."  He rested his elbow on the sofa and tilted his head to the side. He thought to himself that he enjoyed her relaxed features, that it felt good to hear her laugh and chuckle, that she was beautiful, and he wanted to kiss her. The impulse became stronger, but he managed to resist it.  

She set her hazel eyes upon him, and for the first time since the start of the shift, he saw her relax. His brown eyes focused on her frame, strong yet soft and curvy. He looked at her ample chest, barely covered by a tight white long-sleeved t-shirt. He then averted his eyes from her chest to her thighs, comfortably wrapped by denim jeans. Nana was quite tall and gorgeous. Her face was soft and round, her hair a beautiful afro that crowned her face. At this instant, in the living room, Michael could only think about how beautiful Nana was and how happy he was to see her on his sofa. It felt as if she had always belonged here, and that brought a smile to his face.  She gave him a sheepish smile and gently moved from her seat to get closer to him, close enough to lean her head against his shoulder.  She was indeed feeling better, now that they were alone in the living room. Michael was a tranquil and calming force in her life, and his presence helped reduce her stress. They were no longer at the ER but in a private setting, and she knew she would not be judged with him. 

Instinctively, Michael wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a tighter hug. He wanted to feel her close to him. He wanted to lose himself in her lovely scent, in the steady rhythm of her heartbeats, and in the warmth of her body. He wanted to feel her hand rest on his chest and her lips pressing kisses to his pec, to his shoulder, to his neck. So they stayed in that nice embrace for a while, comfortable in the silence that had settled between the two of them. He used his phone to blast some music for the two of them to enjoy. An odd choice, but one that made sense since he did not want to move from the couch to put on some vinyls. She did not care for the music, at least not now, not when she was in Michael's arms, so it did not bother her at all to listen to whatever he put on. 

" Thank you, Michael... For what happened in the trauma room. I lashed out at you, at Princess... at Mel.. Everyone in that room got to see the worst version of me today. I apologized to each of them personally for the way I conducted myself in the ER."

"Good. You did not have to, but you still did it. It speaks volumes about your character, Nana." 

"Maybe... I guess? They were all very understanding. Still... I wanted to thank you as well, now, with a cooler head than in the pedes room." -She pinched her lips and looked up to his face-

"I appreciate it." - He could not find the right words, as she had taken him aback. He was expecting them to relax on the sofa, but she clearly was not done with the day, so he indulged her- "I am not upset at you and never was. Grief... Is never linear, and it never ends. It softens, that's all. Today, the case we worked on was eerily similar to your case. Understandably, you'd be affected by it. We all were. We failed this family, and I know that we will kick ourselves for it, so you won't hear me tell you not to be upset."

"I know.... Michael....Back there, you told me I was an outstanding doctor, and there are days I believe it. There are days when I feel so confident in my skills and ability to save people. I was confident I would be able to save this man, despite everything telling me he was not going to pull through. We had patients with very little chances of survival pulling through and surviving the worst. I assumed my patient would be one of them because I was on his case.  It humbled me real quick. I don't feel that I am outstanding just yet. I know I am trying." -he cupped her cheek and stroked it with his thumb-

"I still believe that you already are outstanding." -He whispered to her, his nose brushed against hers, and she pushed her face closer to his, but before she could kiss him, he added, " It's not the doctor I am concerned about. I know you can bounce back up. You always do. I was scared for you, the person. Today, an old wound was opened, and it bled everywhere."

"Shh... I'm okay..." -She pressed her lips to his and slid her fingers into his pepper-and-salt hair.-

 He groaned against her lips because she cut him short in his trail, but he was not able to stop himself from kissing her. As their lips connected and his hands stroked her back. She moaned into their kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck.  Was she okay? Was any of them okay? He went with the flow, this time unwilling to break their closeness. Something pulled him in, despite his wishing that he could stop to make sure she was actually okay. His thoughts were giving space to his growing desire, and the more they kissed, the more he was lost in her. Nana licked his lip, seeking permission to deepen their kiss. When he granted it, Michael shifted on his seat, so he was lying on his back on the couch, and she was on top of him. He let his fingers run her coily hair and held a fistful of it while he deepened the kiss.

She grinned between their lips and pulled away from him just far enough so they could see each other clearly. The woman grinned and gently stroked his cheek. Her hazel eyes warmly set upon Michael, and she slowly pulled back so she could have a good look at him. Michael smiled at her and lifted his brow as she sat back up on the couch and pulled her top over her head. She had a bra underneath her clothes, and Michael felt his blood pressure increase, his heart beating faster, and he licked his bottom lip upon seeing her. His mouth went dry, and he tried to sit on the couch. Nana was beautiful. He loved how her skin looked under the light of his living room. He loved her ample chest and the simplicity of her white bra that contrasted with her black skin.  He loved the warmth on her face, the relaxed features she had since they ended their shifts. He loved her smile, especially when she was getting worked up.  

He felt a pang in his heart, a desire that kept growing to the point that he could no longer ignore it. Nana was hot and bothered, indeed, but she knew her mind was not fully in it. Her first reaction was to pull back and reconsider going through with having sex with Michael right now. She needed a hot shower and to eat something. She needed to wash away the night to be able to find herself again. Debating with herself whether or not she should stop in the middle of something hot with Michael, Nana ended up sighing deeply.

"I know something that can help me unwind." -She grinned and stood up from the sofa-

"And  what could that be?" -He asked in a bemused tone, ready to get rid of his shirt, but she shook her index and lifted her left brow- "What now?"

"A shower. I'm gonna take a shower right now, and we'll order pizza."

"Whaaaa--Nana! Do you have any idea of what you are doing to me?"

She chuckled and walked away from the sofa, her eyes looking for the bathroom. He followed her, still fully clothed, to the bathroom and found her kicking her pants off.  His eyes averted from her chest to her legs, and his mouth became even drier as he looked at her. He crossed his arms against his chest and gave her a sheepish smirk. Well, she was right about something; they both were exhausted, and while sex was on their minds, they needed to first take a warm shower and then eat something warm.  She tilted her head to the side and slowly put her hands on her back to untie her bra. 

"Well, don't think that I am not interested in having sex with you, I am just too exhausted to do anything right now."

"I'm okay, Nana. I'm an adult and..." He trailed off when she removed her bra and dropped it on the floor. 

"You were saying?" - He blinked and cleared his throat. She stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips before she pulled away and removed her underwear, then turned around and walked into the shower- "Are you going to watch me clean myself or??"

"I'll get myself in more comfortable clothes. I'll grab a shower later."

-TBC-

The pitt: Breakdown at the ER

// Nana is going through a complete breakdown after she took charge of a case that opened old wounds and induced a PTSD episode. Robby is here to help her pull through, and they have a heart-to-heart conversation. 

xxxxx

"Dr. Okwuje-McLane!"

She could not hear the voice calling her over and over again. She was still trying to resuscitate a patient, still trying to hold compressions on his chest in a desperate attempt at starting his heart again. Her scrubs and gloves were covered in blood. She had some on her face,  on her hair, but she did not care. The trauma room looked like a war zone. There was so much blood on the floor, so many machines hooked up to the body to monitor the patient's vitals, and the constant beep was tearing through their ears and adding to the stress in that room. Everyone else realized that the patient was dead and had been for a while, but none of them could reach out to her. Dr. King, who assisted Dr. Owukje-McLane, rushed to find Dr. Robby so he could quickly intervene.  Fortunately for Mel, Dr. Robby was not in the middle of an intervention and was simply supervising, so he was able to follow the blonde doctor to the trauma room Nana was intervening in. 

"Dr. Okwuje-McLane!!" 

He raised his voice. She still could not hear him. Her compressions were mechanical as if her body was on automatic pilot. Nana refused to let go and barked at anyone who tried to stop her. So they stopped trying. Mel felt relieved when Dr. Robby walked into the trauma room, but furrowed her brows when he could not reach out to the woman who was performing CPR.  Nana kept working on the body, deaf to the voices around her, oblivious to the strong presence of Dr. Robby next to her.  She was determined to save that man's life, desperate even. He had to live. She promised his daughter that she would save him. She had to make it happen. Dr. Robby looked at her and quickly decided to say her name one last time. 

"Dr. Okwuje-McLane!!!"

"No! I can still save him! I can still SAVE HIM! I promised his daughter! She needs him!"

"There is nothing more that you can do! Stop it!" -He almost shouted his order. She refused to obey, still kept doing her compressions, and when Dr. Robby tried to come closer to her,  Nana barked at him. He stopped in his tracks and kept his hands up in the air so she could see he did not want to set her off. She was not ready to give up on her patient, but he had to solve this quickly.  

"Back off!! BACK OFF! BACK THE FUCK OFF, Dr. Robby!!!" 

She was on the verge of crying, and everyone in the room could tell she was having a breakdown. His whole demeanor changed. Dr. King noticed that Dr. Robby softened his features, his shoulders dropped, as well as his voice, and he quietly closed the distance between him and Dr. Okwuje-McLane, wrapped his arms around her frame to gently force her to stop her compression, and prevent a potential violent response from her.  Surprisingly, Nana did not resist. She simply stopped moving, and the high-pitched machinery beeps were the only noises that filled the room. 

Mel looked at Dr. Robby and pinched her lips together, barely holding her breath as she did not know what was going to happen. Dr. Robby looked towards the blonde doctor and nodded quietly... His face wore a somber expression, as sadness overwhelmed him. He knew all too well what Nana was going through. He knew the immense grief that swallowed the woman's heart. He was holding her firmly but kindly, and after searching for Dr. King's eyes, when they finally locked eyes, he nodded quietly. 

"Dr. King, please call it."

"No.... She can't do that... Don't let her do that..." Nana's voice was weak, a heartbreaking sound that ripped through the team present in the trauma room. They all had somber faces, a silent understanding of the situation, and an acknowledgment that the patient was beyond saving. Mel nodded at the request of Dr. Robby and cleared her throat. 

"Ti-- Time of Death: 11:35 AM."

"Thank you, Dr. King. Please take over and wrap this up." - He then looked down at Nana, who was shaking from head to toe, and spoke with the gentlest voice he could muster at the moment- "Come with me, Nana."

He removed his gloves and helped her remove hers. He threw both pairs into the waste bin and took her hand to guide her to the Pedes Room. He knew that the room was empty and could give her some privacy.  As the captain of the ER, he had to ensure that his team was working seamlessly and nothing could break the workflow. With her breakdown, it was clear that Nana could not resume working in that mental state, and he had to make sure she wasn't a danger to herself and a danger to their patients. Deep down, however, he was worried about Nana. He went through one episode like this before, during the Pittfest mass shouting, and he knew that without support, she simply might fall apart. Michael cared for Nana way more than he was willing to admit at this moment. She was pale and depleted, yet followed the man to the empty pedes room.  He closed the door behind them and watched as Nana slowly walked further into the room. 

" I'm sorry I had to restrain you, but there was no other way to make you stop." -She did not respond and simply sat on one of the beds in the room.- "I know you wanted to save that man, and you did one hell of a job there, but there was nothing we could have done to help him. There was nothing we could have done to save the whole fam--"

"I promised his daughter." -She cut him short, with cracks in her voice. Dr. Robby tilted his head to the side, as if he was taken aback by her words.-

" You know that we can't promise this. We can't."

"She is going to grow up alone... With no sister, no mother, and now... And now...No father. I... I wanted to...I had to save him. I had to..." She was hyperventilating and trying to hold back her tears.  Instinctively, Dr. Robby walked towards Nana and sat in the bed next to her. She broke down in tears and pulled on her scrubs as if she wanted to break free, as if she were suffocating. Dr. Robby put his hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed her, in a way to let her know she wasn't alone and give her enough space. 

"I know..... I know you tried so hard to save that man. It's not fair... It's not fair." -He spoke in a soft voice, gently stroking her shoulder before he dropped his hand to the middle of her back.- "You are an outstanding doctor, Nana, but even the best of us can't defeat Death."

"I don't care!!!!! I don't care, Michael!!!! I should have saved that man, and now, because of me, that little girl is going to grow up without a family!  I wanted to spare her, I wanted..... I needed...I failed." -She unconytollably sobbed and finally wrapped her arms around Dr. Robby's waist. He pulled her into a tight hug and stroked her back as, finally, the woman expressed her grief as she needed to. 

Meanwhile, in the trauma room, Mel watched the empty room and took in the carnage that had taken place. There was so much blood on the floor that the hospital cleaners might spend quite some time in the room. She pinched the bridge of her nose, and  Princess walked to her with a concerned face. 

"Are you okay?"

"N-- Yes! Yes! I am It's part of the job, right? I have just never seen the trauma room so... There is so much blood here."

"I guess it depends on the injuries. This patient was riddled with bullets, kinda difficult not to have a blood bath when it happens." -She sighed and looked around the room again. "But I'll ask again, Dr. King, are you okay?"

"Dr. Okwuje-McLane.... What happened just now with her? I've never seen her like that before. It felt as if I had a brand new person in front of me."

"Ah... Yes. Dr. Okwukje-McLane took this case very personally. A family was transported here minutes ago, all but one in critical condition.  A mom, a dad, two daughters, all shot with several bullets. Everyone but the youngest daughter died within minutes. "

"When you say it's personal, do you mean that she went through the same thing?"

"More or less. Her family was slaughtered during a home invasion. She heard the noises, well hidden in a cabinet. When the noise stopped and the robbers left, she bravely left her hiding spot to try to help her family, only to find them dead. She still calmly called 911, believing that her family would make it. She even fought them when they tried to put white sheets on the bodies. It took a while for her to realize that she had lost everything that night. She went to the foster care system and found her adoptive parents later. This, right there, is definitely a trigger for her. She wanted to protect the little girl from the same trauma she had to deal with."

"I see... Bu--but she tried. She did her best. He just could not be saved, but that doesn't mean--"

"Sometimes facts don't bring comfort. We can't do much for her except support her in whatever way we can. You did great by getting Dr. Robby to her; he would be able to calm her down. Let's just... do what we do best here." 

Princess nodded at that and simply left the trauma room to resume her work. Dr. Mel took a deep breath, pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose, and left the room. She understood now why  Dr. Okwuje-McLane acted that way, and the satisfaction of having an answer was enough to prompt Mel to return to work. 

In the pedes room,  Nana was still crying her heart out. She was still holding onto Dr. Robby, and he was now gently stroking her shoulders. She buried her face into his chest and slowly stopped crying. His hug was comforting, and his steady heartbeats were soothing. He did not speak, afraid to break the silence and wreck all of his efforts. Instead, Dr. Robby wanted to let Nana come to him. She slowly pulled away from him and wiped her face clean with the back of her hands. 

"Thank you, Michael...I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize. We've all been there. It's alright, Nana."

"I thought I could hold my own and handle the case, but I simply could not. I was seeing myself all over again.  When I was giving CPR, I was seeing myself back in my house, with blood all over the place. Ah... I felt powerless. I am powerless, and it just felt so cruel, Michael." -She wiped her tears again and put her hands between her legs, so she could hold onto the mattress. 

"It is cruel. It is hard. This job right here? It's thankless, grueling, a fucking war zone where anything can go wrong. It breaks your heart, and it puts it back together. We save countless lives here; we don't remember them, but they exist. They survived, and it is all thanks to us. To you. You saved lives, Nana, and while I know it is easier to focus on the lives you lost, trust me when I say that the lives you saved are going to remember what you did for them."

"I hope they build a shrine to me. I hope they all do. You're right, I barely remember the lives I save every day. For me, they just come and go. I fixed them, and I carried on. A life lost? It simply tears a hole in my heart, over and over and over again...." She sighed and turned her head so she could look at Dr. Robby. He nodded quietly, his face now somber as he could relate to her words. 

"And you just have to learn how to live with it. That's what we do. That's who he is. We help people. We risk everything to save them. Sometimes we succeed, and sometimes we fail. It takes a toll on us, but despite everything, we simply can't stop ourselves. We have to go back there. We have to."

"We care for others...But who cares for us?" -She knitted her brows and gently put her hand over his. "You cared for me today. You did not have to, but you did, Michael. Thank you" -Her voice was softer now, with a bit of a sob strangled in it.-

"It's my job to watch after my team. You are part of my team, so obviously I would watch after you."

"And who watches after you?" -Her question made him blink. Since when did the tables turn? He did not know what to say to her and simply shrugged.- "Well...I will look after you. I want to." 

She whispered and gently squeezed his hand.  Dr. Robby pulled her hand towards his lips and pressed a kiss to her soft skin.  It wasn't a rejection on his part, but not actually an acceptance either. He wanted to express his gratitude for her concern, especially when she was in the midst of a breakdown, but he was not ready to talk about his own self-destructive thoughts or his own PTSD episodes. She stood up and took a couple of steps away from Dr. Robby. He rubbed the back of his head and slowly stood up again. 

"Nana, are you good to go?" -She nodded and rolled her head- "I don't like the idea of you being alone tonight. After our shift, why don't you come home?" 

"Are you asking me out, Dr. Robby?" -She jokingly said, finally grinning at him, a good sign of her improved morale. He gave her a sheepish smile, and he nodded slowly- " Well, how can I say no to such a nice offer? Let's uh.... let's leave together after our shift, okay?"

"Okay." -He nodded and watched as her leave the pedes room.-

That was intense, nothing they have not experienced before, nothing they would not be able to bounce back from. Nana was resilient. If she had not been, she would not have lasted this long in this job.  The man rubbed his face together and suddenly realized that he had just invited Nana to his place.  Usually, when they hooked up, he would go to hers, but this time, he wanted to care for her. He wanted to be there for her. He felt his heart falter and smiled to himself. He invited her over to his bachelor pad; somehow, that made him feel warmer. It was going to be a good thing. It definitely was going to be.  Comforted with this thought, he simply walked away and back into action. 

-TBC-

Nixus: Debbie x Nix catching up in a cafe.

Born and bred in Detroit, with only two years spent in Macomb, Debbie Malone was a very perky Michiganner. A stunning brunette with long straight brown hair, a slender build, and intense brown eyes, she was turning heads wherever she went. The woman always said that there was nothing the world could do to make her leave Detroit. It was the place she was born into and the state she wanted to die in. However, as much as she enjoyed the city, she loved the people in it even more. Debbie was friendly, and she had plenty of friends. She always lit up the room she walked into and always managed to make people smile and confide in her. People loved her, perhaps because she was the most unapologetically authentic person they've ever met. Perhaps because she genuinely cared about others, or perhaps she was always ready to help those in need.  When Phoenix was introduced as the new teacher at her school, Debbie immediately took a liking to that woman. 

She saw someone in dire need of friendship in Phoenix. After all, Nix always kept to herself, always seemed to want to be invisible, and seemed so genuinely awkward that Debbie could not help but want to help that young woman. She perceived Phoenix well, although she did not know the truth about her past. She perceived her loneliness, how guarded she was, yet so eager to meet new faces and connect with others.  She saw how devoted to the kids she taught, Phoenix was, and also how she tried to appear unassuming and plain, deliberately so. So Debbie grew closer to her, and little by little, she helped Phoenix make a home out of Detroit.  This afternoon was no exception. She usually heard Nix talk about her hot neighbor, a delicious hot candy that was haunting her nights. Strangely enough, it had been days since Phoenix mentioned the man at all, which prompted Debbie to offer a coffee date with her friend after Wednesday's shift was over. Phoenix agreed to it, and soon after the bell rang, the two friends went to their favorite coffee spot, a couple of blocks away from school.  

"You seem really strange, Nix. Has something happened to you recently?"

"What do you mean by strange?" -Phoenix almost choked on her drink and quickly put the cup down to grab a napkin. She cleaned the corner of her mouth and gave her friend a sheepish smile-

"This! Right here! Something happened to you! Usually, you'd tell me about your weekend, or about whatever you saw that you wanted to try. Come on! It's been a week, and I have not heard a word from you. Something must have happened!"

"MMhh? So I have been this quiet, uh? I don't want to worry you. Nothing bad happened to me, I have just been in my head a lot lately, that's all." -She gave her  crooked smile, in an attempt to deflect, but Debbie was on her case, she knew something was off-

"Look, I don't want to put pressure on you, but you have to tell me...Did something happen with the neighbour? Does he know you've been thirsting on him for two years now?"

The barrage of questions made Phoenix blush and open her mouth. No sound came out of it, so she quickly closed it and felt her cheeks burning. Debbie Malone was a straightforward woman who never beat around the bush when she had something in mind. Nix racked her brain to see where she failed and how her friend was able to easily read into her, and it became clear that it was the lack of communication about the hot neighbor that set off Debbie's alarm. Her shoulders dropped, and the honey-haired teacher leaned into her chair.

"I have to give it to you, Deb, you're good." - She tried to play it off cool, but her heart was racing against her ribcage- 

"Told ya I know people. And you, my dear, are an open book when it comes to people you like. You can't be talking every single day about that hot neighbour and suddenly stop unless something happened. Now, tell me what happened!"

"He knows about how hard I am lusting after him." -Nix conceded- "He knows how intensely I have been wanting him too." -She grinned- "And.... he actually liked hearing it all. Mind you, that happened in the middle of us fucking.." -She let it slip and stuck her tongue out-

"Wait.....WHAT?" Debbie almost screamed her last word. She took a sip of her coffee and put her cup down. Her eyes grew wide, and she pointed a finger at Phoenix, who chuckled at her friend's reaction.- "When???? How??? You gotta be shitting me!"

"Ahahaha, no! Honest to God! We fucked... A little bit over a week ago. We... met by accident in the elevator, and I had a rough night. I wanted to relax at home, to catch a glimpse of him and flick my bean after, but he entered the elevator at that exact moment, Deb. We started to have small talk, I offered him dinner sometime later, and he agreed, and before I knew it, I was at his door wearing lingerie and holding a big bowl of marinara meatballs and pasta I made for us."

"No fucking way!!!!!! Did you two even eat anything, or did you go at it like rabid animals?"

"Deb!!!!! You know I have patience! I actually just wanted to tease him that night, to show him the goods, ahah oh my god, I really was fearless that night. He took it in stride, and before I knew it, we were making out. From the moment our lips touched, I knew that I would want more, and so did he. It was... electric, Deb. He made me rediscover myself that night. It was so much better than I ever imagined with him. I...I... I was so terrified he would not want to see me again. I was certain it would be a one-night stand with no more contact or acknowledgment from either of us, but it did not happen like that. He came back the next day to take a look at my radiator and... We had sex again... but this time he stayed."

"And you did not want to tell your best friend after your dreams came true because?...." -Debbie lifted a brow, waiting for Nix to explain why she kept something that huge under wraps. She was happy for her friend, genuinely, but also upset that Nix decided not to share the news with her-

"I'm sorry, Deb. I was not sure if it was true, and frankly, I was scared to be humiliated if I had my dreams up and he shattered them by avoiding me....Ridiculous, I know, but there is just something about him that makes me nervous....like a teenager with her first crush."

It suddenly clicked in Debbie's mind. Phoenix was afraid of rejection. They had a conversation a year ago, right at the time Debbie had started to crush on Wallace Walker, the handsome and reliable chief of the firehouse near the school. Back then, Debbie would only talk about romance and ex-boyfriends and would ask Phoenix about her love life.  Nix readily admitted that her love life was disastrous, that she had one night stands (in truth, she was talking about her missions), one childhood love who betrayed her in the worst ways (a childhood sweatheart who faked his own death to leave the country and start a fresh new life in another one, which technically was true), and that was it. 

Debbie knew that it heavily impacted Phoenix's self-esteem.  Through their conversations, she caught several comments made out of the young woman's control that revealed a wound so deep and so freshly opened that it broke Debbie's heart. Nix believed she could not be loved, that there was nothing that could make anyone stay with her. She reasoned that she had no friends, with Debbie being the first true friend she ever had, and the exception to that arbitrary rule Phoenix cast upon herself. If she could not even have friends, how could she find someone who liked her? And while the teacher never formally claimed to have lost all hope of a decent and lovely life, Debbie could read between the lines. So it made sense that she did not want to talk about the hot neighbour because that could invite a lot of hurt in. Nix had already decided that it could not work because he could not possibly fall for someone like her. 

"Ohhh, so you don't want it to just be a fling, do you?" - Nix shook her head- "But you're afraid. I can tell."

"Marc is really a good man, Deb. He's devoted to his job, to helping people. He risks his life every single day, and I just think that he's too good for me, you know? He cares for me, at least; he acted like it. He is attentive to my needs, he listens to me, he comforts me when I am scared."

"Then why are you twisting your brain like that?  You have just started to see each other, haven't you? Why anticipate such a gloomy ending when it's barely just beginning?"

"I'm covering my bases, I guess. I don't want to make stories in my head and think that there is a chance he would want to be with me when there is none." She dropped her head and squeezed the fabric of her skirt in her fists. " Debbie, I'm alright, okay? I am actually very happy to have been able to spend time with him."

"Ye-yeah, take it one step at a time, day after day. You-- How about you tell me the naughty deets, uh? You two had sex, and I want to know how good Marc is in bed." 

Debbie smiled at her friend, a way for her to try to hide her growing concern for her. She did not expect Phoenix to actually confide in her more than she already did and kept mental notes for the time being about Nix's insecurities. It would come in handy regardless of the turn this relationship could make. Deep down, the brunette wished for her honey-haired friend to actually find a very fulfilling relationship, but it was way too soon to know if it would be the case with Marc or not.  Nix took a sip of her coffee and gave Debbie a crooked smile, announcing her desire to indulge her friend and tell her what happened with Marc and how good a lover he was with her. They talked about it for a good couple of hours, interspersed with laughter, relief, and joy, even as she shared her good memories with her friend. In truth, Phoenix felt relieved. 

She did not realize it yet, but she felt so good talking about Marc. He brought light into her existence, something she had not anticipated when they spent their first night together. He healed something in her that night, somehow; he welcomed her as she was, with the unexpected and the adorable. For a brief moment, she felt like a normal human being, like a person without a red ledger, like the teacher she wanted to become. With him, she could almost feel that she was forgiven for all the sins she had committed before. It felt as if she could put behind her the life as an assassin, and those few hours spent with him were life-saving. They were everything...But could she handle losing him if he dug up her past? Yet, talking to Debbie helped squash this thought. It just felt good to be able to share something good that happened to her with a friend. 

-TBC-