OC questionnaire II: Oya edition

What is a habit your character has that others might find cute? She tends to jump on Dean's back so he can carry her around.

Are there particular sounds your character is fond of? The sound of blades, baby, when its engine is turned on, her motorbike.

Is your character more prone to fight or flight? She's more prone to fight. 

What words could tear your character down? "I don't love you." "You killed your family." "you should die; it would be a great service to the world."

How well does your character act under pressure? Oya usually handles it well unless Dean or the children are involved.

Is your character good at practicing self-care? No. What self-care?

What scents does your character find comforting? Dean's. leather. Rosemary.

Does your character have any allergies? Yes, cats.

Is your character a light, medium, or heavy sleeper? Medium sleeper.

Does your character have strong willpower? Yes. Especially when it comes to Dean and Team Free Will.

Is your character more likely to give advice or seek it? She would seek advice. Pretty often, too.

How does your character relax? She would drink, dance, and watch telenovelas with Dean.

Is there a secret thing your character longs to hear? Yes! "You can drive,e Baby."

Would your character feel confident in a fight? Yes! It's her job.

Is your character more energized in the morning, afternoon, or night? She's a night girlie! 

How often does your character have nightmares? Every. single. night. It's plaguing her.

Are there scents your character dislikes? Yes, rotten flesh.

Is there a fear your character wants to learn to overcome? Fear of being abandoned.

Does your character have a high pain tolerance? Yes, given the job she does, she has to.

N. splove: on Oya

 //// I am doing this for safekeeping. We never know when things could disappear. I want to be able to come back to his words. 

xxx

Oya: 

That badass hunter! 

I know that Dean has been quiet for some time, and you know that I have trouble with him sometimes, but Oya, Oya saved him, both in our story, and she saved him for me. I don’t think I would still have him around at all if it weren’t for her (and you). 

Oya gets Dean in a way that no one else ever possibly could. These two, they make me happy, and they break my heart at the same time. They are two broken people who found each other, and together they make it bearable to keep fighting through. 

We know that they had both been through some serious trauma before they came together. Who else could understand where Dean is coming from, if not someone who has been through some comparable experiences? Oya at least knows what it is to be a hunter, the toll that it can take on you. I love that with Oya, Dean can really be Dean. He can be angry, difficult, playful, confused, irrational, upset, in love… you name it. Dean can be Dean. (And a big part of that is thanks to you. You didn’t just want to write with Dean because he’s “hot”. You wanted to write with Dean because he’s complicated, because he’s a great character. Because of all these nuances, and you wanted to create a character who matched that. Which you absolutely did.)Oya gets Dean. She has the patience to deal with him, to get him through his moods. She’s caring, she’s there for him, and for the rest of Team Free Will. She gets that Dean is a bit of a package deal, that Sam and Castiel are going to be a permanent part of her life now too. She doesn’t resent that. She embraces it and loves Sam and Cas like they are her brothers too. Even though she’s had her issues with angels and was unsure about Castiel. She trusted Dean’s judgement on him and has managed to build a relationship there too. It is everything to Dean that she has done so. 

 She’s strong, strong enough to have gotten through everything that has happened to her and still be standing, to still have hope and still keep fighting.

When they are alone, Dean doesn’t have to keep up that tough guy façade. Oya knows it, and she sees right through it. She gets that Dean isn’t always ready to talk about it or “be real” with what he is feeling. I know that’s frustrating for her sometimes. But she deals with him wonderfully. And thank god she understand that Dean doesn’t always have the words, but he shows her how he feels through his actions. She knows that when he trusts her to go on a hunt on her own, or when he holds her, hugs her, makes these other gestures and concessions to her, this is Dean’s love language. Dean doesn’t trust words, he’s been lied to enough. He trusts what he can see, what people do. And through her actions, Oya has proven that she is someone who can be trusted. She has stayed by him, even in his worst moments. She has fought for him and kept loving him. It goes right down to all the little things, the aprons that she always gets for him, the pictures she sends, the way that she teases him, the way she lets him cook for her. For someone who considered himself to be unlovable and damaged beyond repair, it’s impossible to even express how much that means to Dean.

And she may be a shorty, but she is definitely the boss. Dean loves it when Oya takes control. She is confident and sexy as hell. Every part of her. Dean knows that she can be self-conscious about the scars on her arms, but to Dean those are sexy too. They are the marks of a warrior, a survivor. And he is there to reassure her too in those moment when she doubts herself. They are there for each other, always, and I love that. Everything they do is always so emotionally charged, it is what drives both of them. They are the perfect compliment to one another. Both of them are strong. Both of them are weak. But they hold each other up and they keep going.

Doya: Saving lives

 Oya ran her hand through her curly hair and leaned into her chair.  The current case they were working on together with Dean was far more complex than she first thought it would be.  She stroked her chin and furrowed her brows.  It always was easy when the monsters were not humans. It was easier to fight them and easier to put them down. What was more difficult was when humans were involved in the evil they fought. Oya and Dean always tried to reason with them -unless these bastards willingly killed humans, kids, and babies-. They would always try to convince them to stop whatever incantations and rituals they wanted to achieve. More often than not, Dean and Oya managed to make these humans stop whatever shit they were trying to do but a good chunk of them were hardcore believers in Evil. They were rotten inside, and the only way to protect lives was to treat them like they treated most of the monsters they fought. They had to kill humans. Oya hated it, not because she did the right thing and helped rid the world of scums. 

She hated it because it reminded her that humans could sometimes be worse than monsters. Humans knew better than to hurt others, and yet, some of them chose to do it. In this case, she honestly believed that the humans in there were evil. They were in a cult and wanted to sacrifice human lives to summon a lord of Hell to Earth. She knew they wouldn't be reasoned with, and the only way to deal with them would be to kill them. She dropped her head against her arms and sighed deeply.  She hated to take lives, but it sure looked like she would have no other choice but to do it if she wanted to save lives.  The hunter looked at her husband and bit at her bottom lip. Her hazel eyes stared at Dean, who knew what was troubling her. He had watched Oya in these circumstances. He knew that she was emotionally torn between her duties and her desire to protect human lives. He sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. This case would be dealt with like all the other cases they worked on. What mattered was that they saved lives, and if they had to take down some humans while doing so, then they were prepared for it.  Oya made a little bit of noise and leaned into his touch, feeling comforted by his presence. They would focus on saving lives. She would focus on saving lives. 

Doya: A quiet morning

Oya rolled on her side to face Dean who was still sleeping. She was rarely awake when he was sleeping so she took the opportunity to stare at him when he was most relaxed. Dean looked so good like that as if nothing could trouble his sleep. He looked as if he wasn't aware of the horrors of the world and the existence of the supernatural world. He looked as if he had never gone to Hell and never had been tortured for centuries down there. She couldn't help herself but gently cupped his cheek with her warm palm. Dean groaned but didn't wake up, which made her smile at him. It felt so good to be able to take a (short) break from hunting. It felt so good to be able to focus on just themselves.  

The world wasn't devoid of hunters and while Dean and Team Free Will were the most efficient, to the point of reaching legendary status, Dean didn't have to always work. Any member of that team didn't have to always work. They deserved breaks when they could take them. Hence why Dean suggested they went on a little honeymoon of some sort, where they wouldn't have to think about potential cases. The World was still spinning and they would intervene if there was a need for this. So, when the first sunrays pierced the darkness of the room, Oya woke up and decided to spend the morning just looking at the love of her life. They have been together for many years but Dean still managed to make Oya's heart beat faster when she was close to him. Dean always managed to make Oya feel safe when she was with him. 

She stroked his cheek and gently peppered his forehead with a couple kisses. Dean groaned and rolled on himself to lay on his back. He was still sleeping but felt a bit more comfortable, which reassured Oya. She leaned her head against his shoulder and looked at the ceiling. She was happy, in a way that she never thought would be possible. She was happy and she didn't want this happiness to escape her. It made her stroke the skin of her arms to feel her scars as a way to soothe her. She survived the Asanbosam, she could survive anything life would throw at her. It was also a reminder to be cautious and never take anything for granted. The Asanbosam arrived in her life unprompted and killed both her mother and brother. Illness with grief took her father away from her. Another demon possessed her ex-fiancé and forced her to kill him with her bare hands. Anything could happen and she wanted to be ready for it but she also knew that it would be best to appreciate the good things in her life. And this morning was something good, something she would never forget. 

Doya: "Comfort"

I was once told that comfort and routine would make us forget the dangers of our job. For a while, I was scared of it. Of being so comfortable in my life that I would forget how it felt to lose everything. I have a family...I have a family and it took me a while to realize that comfort didn't make me forget the dangers of this life. If anything, now I have something to lose. 

I can't forget the fear that sticks to my bones as I fall asleep. I can't forget the fear of losing my boys... How could I go on without Cas, Sam, and "Chuck forbids", Dean? How could I go on without the people I love?  I know I can't and just thinking about it makes my skin crawl. Just thinking about it, makes me choke on my spit. I do not want this to become a reality.   

Happiness, especially the little corner of joy we managed to have with Dean and me, is rare. It is rare and fragile and fleeting and we have to protect it at all cost. We have to sacrifice so much just for a day spent together. 

This is the reality! Routine and comfort only make you freak out more.  

This is the reality. 

This is my reality. 

I am always afraid to lose them. 

Always... 

Even in my sleep.

Doya: "I love my life."

"Long ago, my friend Sarah asked me if I wanted a white-picket-fenced life. I always said I didn't want one, but truth be told, it did cross my mind at least once. I imagined myself a housewife, with children I would raise to become the next generation of hunters. 

I imagined I would be the best wife my fiancé, Fabrice, would want me to be. I imagined a life, I thought I wanted.  Even then, something was off. I wasn't meant to stay home. I wasn't meant to have a sedentary life. I loved the thrill of the hunt way too much to stay home. 

When I lost the ability to become a mother, something I chose to save a child's life, it became clear to me that I didn't want the life Sarah was leading. It didn't appeal to me. I wanted the life I have...A life spent saving lives, killing monsters... A life spent on the road with my now-husband. 

The children he fathered a long time ago are now mine and I feel great pride when I hear from Kira and her brother. I felt great joy when they called me "mom" and called me their stepmom to others.  I like being in their lives. I love them. I love my life, no matter how shitty days can be."

Doya: On Loss and pain

"We are the ones who run towards danger for the smallest chance we could save people. We are the ones who are willing to go to Hell if that means we can save the world. We are fucked up, that's for sure... but I know we will do it again without hesitation if we were given the choice. That is our calling, isn't it?"

xxx

"Don't talk to me about sacrifice if you haven't walked a mile in my shoes. You wouldn't survive a day in my life! You wouldn't survive the slaughter of my family, the endless hunt for the monster that did it, the loss of the life I had before, my ability to bear children to save a child's life...I gave everything, even my soul to protect the world so don't talk to me as if I didn't know what Loss was."

DOYA: the happiest woman in the world

Oya leaned her cheek into her warm palm, barely awake at that hotel's restaurant. Dean left at dawn for a surprise -so he said- and left her to her own device. It felt weird not to work on cases and perhaps Chuck allowed them a couple days of respite since they didn't come across a case during their "honeymoon".  It felt strange but it was still pleasant for the hunter. A couple of days off, spent solely on caring for her husband and enjoying his company. A couple days off, without having to work on cuts and other wounds they always sustained during a hunt. A couple days off, without having to worry about the world's fate for once. It was a gift and Oya was starting to wonder if Dean didn't strike a deal with Chuck himself to guarantee they wouldn't run into business on their honeymoon. The idea made her chuckle as it was ridiculous, but she did like the sound of it. They barely had time for themselves, due to the nature of their work, they were always on the move, always planning, always fighting. 

That morning, as she was all by herself, Oya felt a pang in her heart. She was used to being on her own, she had worked countless cases by herself and while she did miss Dean, she was mostly excited about her return to the bunker. She was excited about seeing him again. This time, it was a little bit different. She was missing him in a way she had never before. She was yearning for him, craving his touch, his smile, his warm embrace. She was craving his silly jokes, the way he messed with her, and the laughs that resulted. She wanted to see him and found herself a little exasperated by his absence. Since when was Oya this needy? It made her furrow her brows for a brief minute before she shook her head. It wasn't that bad of a feeling, au contraire! It made her feel a little fuzzy and warm inside at the thought of seeing her husband again. it made her blush and she brushed her legs together before she took her cup to her mouth for a sip of coffee. She was excited about the surprise but more than anything, Oya just wanted to see her husband and as her heart started to skip beats inside her ribcage, she thought that she was quite the happiest woman in the world. 

Doya headcanon: Her self-confidence

Her self-confidence: 

Oya is a very confident woman. She knows she's gorgeous and capable but always puts the focus on how capable she is. The only thing she doesn't like about herself is the deep scars on her arms. while they remind her of the time she was reckless, she also feels that they're quite ugly. Dean always makes sure to love up on the scars and make her feel beautiful. Her friends also make sure that she feels pretty, especially when she wears short sleeves.

Doya: I pray

I am not exactly religious. I am very aware of Heaven and Hell (hard not to when you fight angels and demons). Still... I was raised as such and believed in Chuck until the Asanbosam slaughtered everyone. I lost my faith that night. What was the point in everything we did? What was the point in trying to live? I had lost my will to live back then,  I wanted to die a hero's death. I wanted to disappear once I had fulfilled my duty. What a bullshit way of thinking. What a bullshit way of living... I met you and everything changed. 

Suddenly, well, I had a family again. I had people who would have my back. I had people who cared for me. I had people who would want my company and I wasn't alone anymore. Suddenly... I was loved. Suddenly... I had a future ahead of me. Suddenly... I could find myself again. Oh, and I didn't want to give up on it. I didn't want to leave it all behind. I refused to die. I refused to leave my new family behind, alone... lost without me. I refused to leave them because.. ah... Because I couldn't imagine a life without them. I don't care if it's heaven or hell. I want to be with them, always. I wanted to be with them so... I prayed. I pray... I will always pray for our peace to be maintained and protected. I will always pray so we can live a long and fulfilling life together. 

I pray... 

Me...

The non-religious hunter. 

What a time to be alive isn't it?

Doya: My favourite colour

In a world of dull and grey, you are my favorite color. 

Green, like your emerald eyes that you set upon me like jewels you wrap around my neck. 

Green, like the color of your flannels I borrow to drape myself with. 

Green, like nature for you are a force of nature, my love. 

In a world of dull and grey, you are my favorite color. 

You painted my world in vivid color and reminded me of the beauty of life. 

You gave me a purpose when all I wanted was to meet my end once I reached my goal, 

But your love kept me anchored to this life, your love made me want to keep going, to keep on living. 

In a world of dull and grey, you are my favorite color. 

You make life worth living and you make me happy beyond words. 

How did I get so lucky? I don't know how but I don't want to have the answer. 

All I know is that I am lucky. I am in love. I am happy!

Doya headcanon: Love language

Oya Love language: 

Giving gifts: "Oya loves to buy ugly aprons/ ugly sweaters to Dean. She loves to gift him with vintage weapons, ugly outfits, and anything she sees that reminds her of him. It's her way of saying that she thought of him and wanted to bring him something from her trips. "

words of affirmation: "She reminds Dean how good of a person he is and how much she admires him, loves him, and cares for him. She highlights his good deeds, his qualities, and what she loves about him. "

quality time: "She loves to work cases with him and sees them as spending quality time with each other. She will always try to find a moment to take him out of his head or the case and bring them together."

Doya: sometimes your words cut deep.

 "Sometimes your words cut deep. They hurt because you said them with intent. I understand that sometimes you are lost and you don't know how to handle your emotions. I understand that you're hurt and as the saying goes, hurt people hurt people. Still... your words cut deep and I'm left flaggerbasted and hurt too. I'm left with a sour taste in my mouth and venom at the tip of my tongue. Then I remember, I remember you. I remember us. I remember what we've been through and why you are how you are. So I give you space instead of fueling your self-loathing self-destructive behaviour. I leave and let you cool down or perhaps, I need a place where I can let my emotions explode, the tears roll down my cheeks, the frustration erupt from my heart. Sometimes, your words cut deep and I can't come back from them."

Doya: "I love being married to you"

 " I love being married to you, Dean. You know, it has something more to do than just to wear a ring. It has more to do with just sharing a name. Don't get me wrong, I love to be Mrs Winchester. 

I love that the whole world knows that we are '"it" for the other. I love to wake up knowing that we're doing this together, forever. I knew, long before I proposed. 

I wanted us to get married because if anything...if anything happened to us, we could advocate for each other. I wanted to have your back no matter what. So, I am at peace knowing that I will always be able to have your corner, legally wise as well.

I love being married to you. I love waking up to you. I love our job. I love you."

Doya: "Oya loves to stay at the bunker."

Oya loves staying in the bunker from time to time. She loves those moments when she can climb on Dean and he carries her all over the bunker. She loves those moments when Dean just ruffles her hair and carries her on his back while he cooks something for the both of them. She just loves this life! She just loves it when she can attack his neck with kisses and when she can encourage him when he's playing with the grill. She loves when she can wear his shirts and boxers and when she can fall asleep on him. His breathing and heartbeats soothe the hunter. His breathing and heartbeats make her feel safe... they make her feel at home.

Doya: "the infamous grin."

There it was! The infamous grin that made the hunter weak in her knees. She could still remember how it made her feel, the first time Dean grinned at her. the slight shiver that went down her spine, the urge to smirk back, the urge to cup his cheek that was overwhelming. he was happy, and that made her happy. 

Over the years, this precious grin melted her heart. She wanted him to smile because that meant his head was away from the dreadful days ahead of them. It meant his heart was lighter, warmer and he would be able to listen to her. That meant a good night ahead. that meant so much.... so when he did grin at her, Oya grinned back and cupped his cheek. "Sure cowboy, let's go get it!"

Doya: "We live in an awful world."

We live in an awful world, one where tears and pain are common currency. We were denied the right to live our lives obliviously as most mortals do. We were chosen to know the truth of the world.

Monsters are real. We fight monsters. A well-tuned machine and a clear path that raises and kills us in the general indifference. We chose this life, at some point. Whether at the beginning or in the middle of it, saving people became our motto, our raison d'être.

It is a lonely life, but I was lucky enough to have found a way out of it. I found a new family, a home in you. I found companionship and I am happy. I am lucky after all,  yeah, lucky because I get to do the job I love, with the person I love the most. I get to be with you while slaying monsters. 

It is a lonely life, but I never feel alone when I'm with you. 

Never.

Doya: "A connection so deep."

Oya: 

« Have you ever felt it? A connection so deep that you know when they are lying to you in order to protect you? A connection so deep that you can feel something is wrong and they need your help. Your comfort. Your reassurance?  Have you ever felt it? A desire to make the other happy for the rest of their lives? 

I guess I have. I have felt it. I do feel it. I know him well, so well that I can notice when he’s not doing fine or when he plans to go on a suicide mission. I know….  And so does he. I know I truly found my home in this world a place I feel safe in. A place I love and care for.  A place that cares for me too. 

Who would have thought? »

Doya: 'Her smile."

DOYA: 

A smile. 

She didn't always smile. There was even a time when she never did. A smile was a gift she gave to those around her, a testimony of her joy. A testimony of her peace of mind. For a brief moment, there was no darkness around her. there was nothing to worry about. For a moment, there was a reason to be alive, a purpose if you will. There was the comfort of knowing your very existence had meaning and you were not easy to replace. you belonged.  She belonged.  The best way she found to show her gratitude was to smile for it was the hardest thing to get from her. It was something she thought she lost up until she met them... up until she met him. 

A smile...

Her smile. 

Doya: "Dean;"

Dean: 

"We haven't been spared, eh? We haven't really had the chance to stop and breathe for a long while. I have not been able to just.... enjoy us the way I wanted to.  I guess it comes with being a hunter. We are always on the prowl, always working, always saving people and killing monsters. I guess there is no rest for the righteous. Still, I want to stop and I want to breathe. I want to look at you with a different intent than just checking on your injuries. I want to hold you in my arms, not because I feel relieved that you're alive but because I want to lavish you with my love. I want to give you a reason to rest and let me take charge of our happiness for a while. Sit back, relax, I'm here. I want to lose my fingers through your dirty blonde hair. I want to massage your scalp when we're both lying on our bed and hear you purr because it feels good. I want to whisper sweet nothings in your ear, all the while allowing my hands to run over your skin. Sit back, and relax, you're the main focus of the night. Relieve yourself from the stress of your job. In the confines of our room, there would be no sacrifice, no tears, no death...There would just be us. There would just be us, and our love. Our heart."