(GoT) Bäahal x Missandei. : Goodbyes

(GoT) Bäahal x Missandei. : Goodbyes

A/N : you bet they would say goodbye to each other before the Last War.

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« Do you remember how to dance? » Missandei's voice echoed through the walls of the princess' bedroom. Ever since Lord Jaime returned to Cersei, the princess had barely left her bedroom. She needed time to adjust to surviving the Night King and to finally march on King's Landing. The loss of Viserion, though still painful, wasn't as debilitating as it was before and she was even able to visit Drogon and Rhaegal as she pleased.

« How could I forget? I have trained for this my whole life. » She replied with a smirk, as she rolled on her side to see Missandei's frame that was standing in front of her. « Do you want me to dance? » She teased as she sat on the bed. Her silver locks fell on her face, but she tucked some behind her ear. Missandei chuckled and rubbed her arms together.

« I would very much like to see you dance, Büu... especially if this is the last time I get to see you dance. »

« Why didn't you ask me before the war against the night king? » The princess stood up while her friend sat on the bed. « It escaped your mind? »

« It sort of did, yes. I was so convinced we would survive the Long Night that I didn't think of...I didn't think of. »

« Don't worry. You had Grey Worm...I'm sorry, Torgo Nuhdo, in mind. You spent your last night with him didn't you? »

Missandei blushed and nodded. She did spend her last night with Torgo, hoping that at least they would have spent their last night together. It only occurred to her that her best friend could have died and could still die tomorrow when they march on King's Landing and the last war takes place. They shared a lifetime filled with pain and suffering and because she knew the princess was isolating herself, she decided she would come and spend some time with them Half-Targaryen. It went beyond the departure of Lord Jaime, the melancholy the princess was experiencing that night had its root in the loss she suffered throughout the years. First her mother, then her dragon and now Lord Jaime. All of them had deeply impacted her life. Her mother sacrificed herself to give a chance to her daughter to have a decent and normal life. Viserion was a solid companion, one of the most faithful and loyal companions to the princess. He helped her open her heart but he was killed by her enemies. His death poked a large hole at the princess' heart and it took a while before she could even stand the sight of his brothers. Now, Lord Jaime made her feel in ways she wasn't used to. Missandei and anyone with eyes could see that the princess was infatuated with the Knight and while all of them advised her not to proceed with those emotions, and she kept being in denial about these, the departure of the Knight hurt her.

« I was. I confess. » A shy smile crept on Missandei's lips as she cleared her throat.

« Does he make you happy? Torgo Nudho, I mean. » Inquired the princess who tossed her head on her back and lifted her arms up, drawing imaginary arabesques with her arms while her left feet was placed in front of her right one.

« He does. He's a good man. » Missandei asserted, while the princess nodded. « I wish for him to survive the last war so we could be together. »

« Do you have any plans for after the war ?  Give me rhythm, please. » Missandei nodded and started to smack her hands together to create a rhythm the princess could dance to. « You will have a house? » Missandei nodded.

« We'll go to Naath. » The princess' smile faded away and her eyes shifted from left to right. « Are you...angry with me? »

«Angry? By the gods old and new, no! I am not angry. I just...I am very happy for you Dei'. » She said with a smile on her lips. « You deserve to have the life you want and if your happiness isn't at King's landing, then you shall have it elsewhere. » Missandei kept clapping her hands and started to hum a song they used to know.

Bäahal couldn't tell Missandei that learning she would leave was breaking her heart. It would be selfish of her to request that her friend remained at King's landing when she wanted something else. However, it was taking away another friend, another connection and she realized that maybe that dance, tonight, would be the last bonding moment between the two friends. Her arms started to move and she took a step forward, then another and spun on her heels. The dance had just begun, following the rhythm settled by Missandei's hand-clapping and humming. Bäahal was the best dancer of Essos. She was called the jewel of Astapor for a reason and demonstrated the skills she perfected over the years. Her dance was flawless and seemed effortless and light like the gentle summer breeze. Her hair was flowing, mesmerizing Missandei who was captivated by the dance number in front of her. The warm orange light created by the fire behind them made the princess skin look like a living painting. She was gorgeous, focused, extremely sad and her sadness transpired through her dance. Missandei lips were trembling as she felt the emotions her friend was trying to convey. Then Bäahal stopped moving and struck a delicate pose. She was sitting on the floor, her bare feet laid flat on the floor while her hands were still drawing arabesques.

« You have the right to go, Dei. I am happy for you and I pray Torgo Nuhdo survives the last war so you can get your happy ending. »

« Or a new beginning. » She said as she wiped out her tears. « I am not abandoning you, Büu. »

« You're not. I know. » She cut her short, her breathing became more labored and her purple hues were intensely staring at Daenerys' handmaiden. « It is your destiny, you have to leave. »

« Would you are alright? » Bäahal chuckled at the question and then stood back up. « I am serious. You are not alright as of now, would you be after the war? »

« This is none of your concern. Your concern is the future you're trying to build with Torgo. This is where your mind should be at. » She said as she started to stomp on the floor, giving herself the new rhythm to follow. A faster beat, a beat with more frenzy to it. « I will leave King's landing and go find myself once the war is over. »

« You're not going to stay with your sister? » Missandei asked, wiping out another tear.

« She won't need me around. Plus... I need to figure myself out. » She rolled her head, slamming her foot harder on the floor before her whole body started to move and she resumed dancing. That was it, she had said it all. She would leave in order to learn more about herself and be Bäahal rather than the sister of the queen or a former slave. Missandei encouraged her, singing the song louder and clapping her hands in rhythm. Both could feel the heartbreak in the other, both could see the tears on their faces, both realized it was their goodbyes and when Bäahal ended her dance, both knees on the floor and her hands in front of her, assuming a praying position, Missandei stood up and knelt in front of her.

« Bäahal.... please stand up. Please, look at me. » She begged, her voice broken as the dance managed to convey the pain the princess was unable to speak of. « Please... »

« I couldn't be happier for you. » She said as she raised from the floor and sat on her heels. « I'm going to miss you Dei. I'm going to miss you. » She said, as her lips trembled and tears rolled down her cheeks.

« We will see each other again. Someday, somehow... I promise you. » But the princess shook her head.

« No. You must move forward. You must set yourself free from the life you used to lead. I am your past, not your future. » She said as she wiped Missandei's tears off of her face with her thumb.

« This is unfair...I refuse this to be our goodbyes... »

« I danced for you. Isn't it the best goodbyes we could have had? » She asked with a soft chuckle before she stood up and looked down. « I'm going to lose my best friend, but this is for the best because my best friend is going to be very happy. » She said with a soft smile.

«Büu... » She wiped her tears off of her face and stood up so she could face the princess once again. « I want you to be happy too. »

« I will be. » Empty promise but she couldn't exactly say the opposite of it. She owed Missandei to try and have a good life. She owed her to try and have all the things they promised each other to have. So it wasn't a lie, technically speaking it wasn't, so why did she fell as if she was lying? She sighed and pulled away from her friend and gave her a smile. « I don't know what tomorrow has in store for us, but I hope the gods would favor both of us. I will go on a quest, trying to learn more about myself and trying to find peace. You will go on a quest of your own, trying to live a decent and happy life with the man you love. I wish us good fortune. »

« You deserve more than just figuring yourself out. Come on, you're a princess now.  What do princesses do? » -She asked wrapping her arms around her friend and pulling her into a hug. Bäahal rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around Missandei's frame. « You know the answer. »

« They get married and have children? » Missandei chuckled and nodded. « I don't know who would want to marry me, nor if I want to get married... but okay. That's what princesses do. » She chuckled and planted a kiss on her friend's shoulder before she closed her eyes. « Do you think the odds are in my favor like Lord Jaime thinks? »

« I can certainly hope they are. You survived the Night King. You will survive Cersei. » She said as she rubbed her back. « Thank you for dancing for me.  I forgot how beautiful it was to see you. »

« You don't have to thank me...I forgot how good it felt to be dancing. » She said as she pulled away from her friend. « stay with me for a while, Dei. Before you go back to Torgo Nuhdo. »

Missandei smiled and took the princess to her bed. They both laid on the soft mattress. Bäahal was baring her back at her friend who wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her into a tight hug. It was the last night the two friends spent together, but both were able to say goodbye the way they wanted to. With love.

-TBC-

GoT: Who am I ? (Missandei x Bäahal)

GoT: Who am I ? (Missandei x Bäahal)

A/N: I have missed my little princess and since this conversation didn't want to leave my mind, here you are. 

xxxx

« What if I survived this war? » The silver princess' voice echoed through her room. Missandei was brushing her silver locks, focused on her task when her best friend let out alarming words.

« You don't plan on surviving? » Her lips were dry, her throat hurt but the question had to be asked. Bäahal shook her head and looked at her reflection on the mirror.

« I do. However... I do not know how to handle what will come next. All my life, I have focused my mind on setting myself free but never went further than this. I was convinced that freedom was nothing but a dream to keep my mind from being swallowed all by doubt and fear. I thought I would never see the day...until it happened. »

« Daenerys came to our rescue and you found me. » Missandei finished her sentence and brushed her hair. « It was luck... »

« It was /Fate/! We had to meet 'Dei. We had to meet again and sail away from Mereen. » She smiled at her own words, briefly so before a more worried expression crossed her face. « It took some time but I finally realize what had just happened. I was given freedom, I took it from my master, but Daenerys helped me un-shackle my mind. You did too... » She said, leaning her head back against Missandei's chest.

The former slave put the brush on the table and gently wrapped her arms around the princess' shoulders. She understood how it felt, to finally be able to be your own person and given the luxury of choice and not being able to know what to do. It came naturally to Missandei, finding her place was easy, she would serve Daenerys all the while living the life she wanted to. Once the war would be over and the queen would be on the throne, Missandei was thinking about having a family with Grey-Worm. They would finally be free to live their romance in the daylight without the fear of losing the other to War. From her point of view, it was exciting actually and she was curious to see what was to come. For Bäahal things were different. She still had to figure out who she was and what she wanted in her life. Freedom tasted bittersweet because while it got her rid of people desires on her and directives, it burdened her with the ability to choose for herself and to decide for her life. How could one do just that? How could they know who they really were? Questions were plaguing the princess' mind who sighed and wrapped her arms over Missandei's.

« And I will always be there for you, pr----Büu.. it's a promise. «  She said, planting a kiss on top of the princess' head. Bäahal's purple hues stared at their reflections and she bit her bottom lip.

«I don't know who I am or what I can do. I am fine with the war because I have found my place. I support my sister, I help her defeat her enemies, I protect her. When she's queen and as she would rule with Jon Snow....what am I going to do? Who am I going to be? »

« What you've always been, Bäahal. What you've always been.. » She said as she planted another kiss on top of her head. « A sister...a friend...a fierce warrior, a survivor...a gentle soul. You have a fire in your heart, just like your ancestors and your siblings. You have a fire that needs to burn brightly if you let it. » She said as she gently pulled away from the princess and knelt near her chair. Her hand stroked her cheek and she smiled at her.

« I will have to leave the castle and find out. I am not meant to be locked in a pretty castle and look pretty while my sister governs. I am not meant to be in her council either... I need to breathe, but can I leave? »

« She will let you go if you ask her. Bäahal, you have your whole life to find out what you're meant to do. Don't hold back because of your fears. » She then cupped both of her cheeks. « And you are so much much than you allow yourself to think. You are my friend. » She said with a warm smile.

Missandei was sweet and soft with Bäahal. She knew her words could reach out to the princess and appease her. Her hazel eyes met purple hues filled with unshed tears and she laid her head against her lap. Bäahal chewed at her bottom lip but remained silent, instead, she let her hands run through her best friend's hair as she contemplated Missandei's words. She would have to ask Daenerys if she could leave her sides and visit the world to eventually know who she was beside her sister or a survivor. Maybe, and that was something she couldn't express out loud- she also wanted to get away from the place that would see Lord Jaime and eventually Lady Kyra dead. She would need to go away, reset her mind and forget about the conflicted emotions she felt for the Golden Lion. It couldn't be what she thought it was. He didn't stay long enough to imprint her mind and not enough to leave an eternal memory. She refused to believe so. Yet, her heart was beating faster when his name was said out loud, and the mere thought of him made her pulse go wild. He would die and maybe, that was the best thing to ever happen.

Maybe...

-TBC-

(GoT): With each bite we taste paradise

// I did not give a context or a timeline because it could fit anywhere. I simply wanted to focus on the feelings and give some more details about her, like the branding scar she has on her back. She doesn't let many people in, and she'd rather choose you and come to you than the other way around. It's, again, just a blurb, nothing to take too seriously. That just happened when I saw this picture:)

« How should I address you, now that you are a princess? »

Missandei's voice distracted the princess who was training in her room. She didn't sleep for more than a couple of hours at night because more often than not, her mind told her of dangers that existed. She had to always be on edge in this cruel and uncertain world. If she wasn't careful, Bäahal could have been assaulted in her sleep or even worse, killed. If she wasn't careful, she could have been kidnapped and sold to another owner, much worse than the one she had at the moment. Bäahal's story was one of pain, of loss, of cruelty. She still had her back scarred and branded by one of her owners. she still remembered the public execution of her mother, who was punished because she tried to save her life. Bäahal still had her nightmares and memories of the people she was forced to kill.

« You should address me like always, 'Dei... » -She grinned and straightened up.-

In the confines of her room, she was free to dress as she pleased. Always she wore a pair of pants and a light shirt to help her move. Her moves were fluid, fast, hard, and precise. She stopped, her chest heaving up and down as she was trying to catch her breath back. Missandei and her have been knowing each other since they were children but their friendship truly blossomed when Bäahal's master moved to Mereen. Missandei grabbed the soft fabric on the bed and handed it to Bäahal who stopped training and grabbed the fabric. Bäahal had two silver daggers with ivory handles shaped like howls, those daggers were the only gift her master ever gave her. As soon as he realized she could become his personal assassin after she killed one of his rivals who tried to physically assault her, he let her choose her weapons. She could have had anything, from a sword to a bow made at his expense and she chose a pair of daggers. The howls were associated with one of the old gods, ensuring protection as well as revenge.

« So, you're saying I should call you Bäahal ?? » -A light chuckle escaped from her plump lips as she watched Bäahal's chest heave up and down.- « I can't do that, You're a princess now. »

« Only in name. I'm a princess only in name! » She said, throwing the fabric back onto the bed and running her hand through her silver locks. She leaned against the wall and crossed her arms over her chest.

« You have an actual family, Bäahal. You have a sister, it's not just a title. »

« We're not the same and she doesn't need me. » Bäahal lips were trembling and she bit her bottom lip. « I'm new at this. All my life it had always been my mother and me against the world. Then there was you... I know you. I don't know her and she's a queen. I've never been about conquest and ruling. I wouldn't even know what to do once she sits on the throne. » She was starting to panic and let herself sit on the cold floor.

« You're overwhelmed. » Missandei recognized that her friend was going through a panic attack. If it wasn't for her heavy breathing and panicked stare, it would have been the way she shook and the repeated hand gesture. She unclenched her fists and dropped her daggers on the floor and started to clench and unclench them rapidly. Missandei knelt in front of her. « Bäahal ?.. Bäahal, look at me. »

« We're not the same 'Dei. We're not the same. We don't even look the same. »

« You don't have to look the same to be family. The same blood runs through your veins. »

« The same blood might run through our veins, I am still a bastard. I am still less than a full-blooded Targaryen... I'm... I'm nothing! »

« You're a princess! » Missandei put her hands to her lips and gently kissed them, catching the princess' attention and helped her focus on something else than her thoughts. It seemed to work, a lot like it did in the past. The princess' fingers were still shaking but she was more focused. « You're a princess, and you are just like me and Grey Worm and the others. You know both of those worlds and you have the power to help shape it into a better place. » She cupped Bäahal's ebony cheek and stroked it with her soft thumb.

« I don't. That's where you're wrong. I don't have this power and if I did, I wouldn't know how to use it. Do you know how it feels to stand there and to think that you shouldn't because you're a fraud? Do you know how it feels to stand there and not know what to answer when they ask you what you truly desire? I can't even answer this simple question! I can't because I don't know the answer...I don't know what to do. I only know how to serve! She told me I wasn't there to serve her but if I am not serving.. then what should I do? Missandei....I'm scared. » She confessed and shut her eyes tight.

« You lost everything... Of course, you are scared, Bäahal. Do you remember what we used to tell each other during our meals? » She asked, her brown eyes staring at Bäahal's purple. <With each bite we taste paradise> She said in high valyrian. Bäahal's hands were starting to shake a lot less, which allowed Missandei to keep rubbing her hands, gently stroking her fingers to calm her friend. It was a sentence they said to each other during meals, in a way to encourage each other to appreciate every single moment of peace they could have. During meals, they weren't with their masters and they could breathe without fear. They could exist without fear. During meals, Bäahal wouldn't have to dance or pretend she was in absolute bliss. During meals, they could talk and share and actually feed their bellies until the next tantrum of their owners. Bäahal went to bed with an empty stomach at times so she knew how precious and vital those moments were.

<With each bite, we taste paradise.> She repeated, finally centering herself back to reality. Her breathing returned to normal and her tears stopped rolling on her cheeks. <With each bite, we taste paradise.>

« Yes.. we do. Look at us. We're both free and you are a princess now. The sister of my queen. I believe Fate brought us together and I cannot wait to see what will come next. You have a lot to lose now. We both have, but the Bäahal I know would fight teeth and nails to protect what she loves. »

« To protect who she loves. » -She corrected, a faint smile on her lips-

« Yes...To protect who you love. »

-TBC-