SoA: Wedding speeches - Bridesmaid style

Mary was standing by Nakota and Maya's sides during their wedding. She managed to contain herself fairly well during the whole ceremony but as soon as they kissed, tears started to roll on her cheeks. She couldn't help herself and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.  Nakota came into their lives like a surprise, such a surprise that Maya didn't tell her she was dating him until several months into the relationship. Mary was confused at first but upon seeing Maya's smiles whenever she mentioned him, her eagerness to join him, and how comfortable she felt by his side, she felt comfortable with the idea of him. 

Meeting Nakota however, opened Mary's eyes. They quickly became friends and as they spent time together, Mary became fond of him. She could relate to his past, to some of his traumas, to some of his mentality and he made her laugh, he made her feel safe and she came to think of him as family. He was like the brother Cody never was. Someone who cared for the people he loved and someone willing to work towards getting better. Here he was, standing tall and proud while holding his wife. As tears kept rolling down her cheeks, Mary shifted her gaze from Nakota to Maya. 

Maya's growth was phenomenal. To watch as she sets herself free from the shackles of Charming and finds a new purpose for her life. She saw a future for herself, a future where she would be happy and where she would be something else than the princess of the Sons of Anarchy. She was now her own person. She had grieved for her family and had made peace with her past. She managed to move forward and was now her own person, in control of her own destiny. For someone who thought she could never be able to be happy, meeting Nakota changed everything. Meeting Nakota destroyed the walls she built to protect herself just so they could build a new home together, with strong foundations and Mary witnessed everything. So, as the newlyweds kissed each other, Mary was only left crying tears of joy because her sister, her beloved sister was finally happy. "And it's just the beginning..."

Got (regular): Letters to Kyra 5

My dearest Kyra,

I dream of the day we would be able to see each other again. I dream of the warm embrace you gave me when I departed from Casterly Roc. I dream of the gentle touch you gave me as you reassured my heart of your friendship.

I still worry about the fact I might not see you again. Perhaps, those are the remnants of the siege against me. Perhaps it's the uncertainty of tomorrow and what could happen to Jaime. Perhaps I am worried about the war you might lead against those who don't want you to rule.

I keep you in my thoughts, and I long for the day we can see each other again, my dear friend. My true friend. I know I love you. Please, be assured of that genuine affection I have for you. for it would last forever.

Yours truly,

Bäahal Targaryen, Princess of the Seven Kingdom"

Doya + Pride and Elpis + Jaime and Bäahal

// Courtesy of my beloved Dean <3 Thank you!

Wherever you go, I go too. I've never been so certain of something in my life until you. I tried to deny the comfort I felt when I was by your sides, but it didn't work, did it? I couldn't hide the fact I loved borrowing your shirts, sleeping in them at night while you would hug me and stroke my hair. I couldn't hide the fact I was always looking for a good time with you, whether we were hunting monsters and I got some adrenaline kick out of it, or during our downtime, when there was nothing between the two of us. I love both. I love the adventure you and me are. I love the thrill of the hunts and the shivers you send down my spine when you look at me. I love when your powerful arms wrap around me and pull me into a hug, against you, where I feel safe. I wouldn't trade those moments for anything in the world. Don't you see? wherever you go, I go, because life means nothing, when you are not in it. Life means nothing....when you're not with me.

xxx

"People change. It is very true to human beings. They would change, become new people, reinvent themselves over the course of their lives. Us, gods, never changed. Or so I thought. We were supposed to remain the very same from the moment of our birth to the moment of our death. Case in point, my brother Leviathan had never once, been different from who he was. Arrogant, Selfish, violent, those traits never disappeared. He didn't even, consider himself as flawed and therefore wasn't inclined to become different. if he couldn't change, why would the others do it? Why would /I/ change and why would Pride change?

Pride had always been the same. Selfish, vain, arrogant. There was no room for growth, no room for change and yet, somehow, when he came to know me, I was able to smooth the angles. I was able to make him see life differently. I was able to make him....care for me. So he did grow, he did change. he did become someone new, someone, different. I loved him through his change, didn't I? I accepted he was different. So why was I confused and afraid we wouldn't like each other because we were different now?

"I will find you," I swore on my vanishing breath. I knew I would find him and I would love him regardless of how different he was and how different I was. People change, men and gods alike.

xxxx

"Are you even listening?"

Lord Tyrion looked at princess Bäahal whose gaze was focused on a rolled on a message she was holding onto her fingers. She wasn't listening to the Hand of the Queen because her mind was lost in the past. They were a couple of weeks before the war against Cersei and a strategy was absolutely needed to defeat the queen. Cersei realized that Daenerys dragons could be killed and had put her trust into a very dangerous man she made her hand. He was without a doubt, able to bring the dead back to life, so of course, he would be able to find ways to kill Rhaegal and Drogon. Therefore, they couldn't put the dragons at risk and had to use them very carefully. It was frustrating to say the very least but what was even more frustrating was the "disinterest" showed by the princess.

"I am listening to Lord Tyrion... I am."

Was all Bäahal could come up with. It was a lie, a very big one given how distracted by the message she was. Tyrion's green eyes set upon the woman and then quickly glanced at the note she was holding. He wasn't an idiot, he knew that since his brother left Winterfell with their sister, Bâahal had tried to get in touch with Lady Kyra, in hopes to hear from her. It was foolish, dangerous even and certainly, a faux-pas Tyrion had to cut down. He took a deep breath and walked towards the princess, his eyes planted into her purple hues.

"Under any other circumstances, I would have entertained the idea of you being friends with my little sister. I have seen how much you cared for her..."

"But?.." She looked away, quickly shuffling the paper in her hand.

"We are at war, princess. This... what you're doing right now, is a weakness we cannot afford to have. "

The truth was, Her mind was filled w with Jaime Lannister. How a nobleman and skilled warrior was to be lost because of Love. She was missing him, his presence in the castle, his sarcastic banter, and his blunt opinion. No matter how hard she tried to take the memory of him out of her mind, it was still coming back to her. He was still haunting her. Tyrion sensed it. He knew it and he knew that while she genuinely cared for Kyra, she dangerously cared for his brother too. Bäahal swallowed a lump and clenched her fists.

"Princess..." Tyrion's voice was a little softer, although still firm. He put his hand on top of hers. "Princess,...I am sure you do understand. You need to let it go."

"I don't know what you are talking about Lord Tyrion. I am focused, my sister's goal is mine. Are you so afraid of me giving up on Dany for some confused emotions? I would never sacrifice her dream because of petty feelings."

Tyrion paused for a while, his hand still holding onto the princess. He squeezed harder and gave her a sigh.

"I know you are loyal to the queen and you would sacrifice your life to help her achieve her goal. I am not worried about your resolve. I am worried about your..."

"My heart?... What possible outcome should there be when you appreciate an enemy? I already know I shouldn't appreciate your brother. I shouldn't feel grateful for killing my father. I shouldn't feel sorry for him or...I shouldn't wish he wasn't in love with Cersei because she's wasting him away. I already know all of this."

"....Doesn't make it any easier to know it." Tyrion said with a shrug. "It actually makes it worse." He quietly said, patting her hand with his before he removed it. "I know we can't really choose what our hearts want, but I told you, Princess, pain is..."

"I'm used to pain, Lord Tyrion. What I would be afraid of, would be joy and pleasure. It would be.... happiness. This, is worse than any pain in the world because I don't know how to react to it. I don't know how to handle it. I don't even think I deserve it. This.. this is worse than pain. Don't worry about me and Lord Jaime. There is nothing to lose, nothing to be afraid of. There is...nothing, really, but respect and gratitude." She smiled at him and gently patted his shoulder. "It's just a shame he will die if he meets me, unless he kills me."

"It's a shame really."

Soa: the news

(Soa)

Word got out that the queen was back. Something was brewing in the air, everyone was busy trying to welcome Jessica the best way they could, by throwing a party. It made sense, in a way, that they would want to celebrate her return, her life, therefore coming together seemed like the best way to do that. Upon learning the safe return from her seemingly unscathed sister, Asma sighed in relief.  She blinked as it felt like the first breath taken after a long time holding one's breath, and put her hand on top of her chest that was heaving up and down at a faster pace.

Joy was the first emotion, quickly followed by relief. Her sister was alive! Asma sat on her office chair and leaned into it, her other hand now pressed against her plump lips. She was trembling, her lips fought hard to hold back her sobs and her eyes did a lousy job keeping her tears from rolling down her cheeks.

Pain replaced joy and overwhelmed the woman whose breathing became uneven, sharper, interspersed with sobs that became louder and louder. Jessica was alive dummy! Why are you crying? She thought to herself, her fingers now tapping the soft surface of her lips in an attempt to calm her down. It just dawned on her, the fear of losing the most precious relationship she had came down on her like a train and now that she knew Jessica was alive, the emotions she kept in check stormed in.

Raw, powerful, put of control...her meltdown couldn't be contained anymore so she's just let It out. Smiles crept up at times, having herb chuckle with relief a suit her worst fears didn't come to life and Asma wiped her face as much as she could but still soaked her top with her tears. Her nose ran, spit dribbled down her chin. It wasn't cry-cute at all, it couldn't be after storing feelings for so long. Anger. Now that was anger she's was feeling, as she hit the table with her fists, once Shen could collect her thoughts. Why didn't Sheba text back? Why didn't she just tell her she was okay but Incommunicado? Why did she have to make her feel so fucking bad? Asma resented Jessica, a little bit, for having gone out of the radar and put everyone at heartbreak hospital. It was a feeling Shen hated, mostly because it was the first time she felt something like this for the beautiful brunette but also because she realized how fragile she still was. How many times did she want to drink because she thought jess died? How many times did she argue with Tig because of Jess? How much place in her heart did Asma give Jessica? Of course, I think would make her angry, because Jessica made her fall in love with her only to make her suffer from stunts like these. How could she dare?

Anger was her gateway to rationality. As she focused on those feelings and on what she would tell Jessica when they would meet, Asma soon stopped her meltdown. She was able to cry in a more quieter way, with just tears rolling down her cheek as she argued in her head with the queen. But soon, reasons and arguments became white noise again as once all was said and done, the only thing that mattered was that the queen was back.

She grabbed her phone, ran her hand through her hair and texted.

"You scared the shit out of me. Be lucky I love you still. Xoxo. Azz!"

Soa: was she petty?

(SoA)

Was she petty? Asma had no idea about whether or not asking about Jessica's whereabouts were a good or a bad thing. She tried it for weeks but it was in vain because the club and Tig refused to let her in. Tig made it clear he wanted to protect her from the life he was leading and because he didn't want her to be in danger, his brother said kept their mouths shut. Jessica told her about her past, some of it, what Shen could actually confess without talking about the present. As far as Asma knew, her new life at charming was a honest one. So She said. So Asma chose to believe until the collection of scars and broken ribs forced her to face reality. Tig acted with love, he wanted to protect the joy of his life so of course, he'd keep her as far away from it as he could.

Was she petty? Was it too much to ask to know the truth? She always heard the crow eaters and samcro boys talk about their old ladies and how much they meant to their hubbies. An old lady was a ride or die wife. She knew what was up, she wasn't to be fucked with. She sacrificed a lot to protect her own but she was part of the family. Gemma was the typical old lady, although batshit crazy and toxic. Jessica was an old lady. The real deal as they said, the prima Donna. The fucking queen. She was everything Asma wasn't and maybe in there lied the difference. It was frustrating to some degree because that meant she might never be an old lady. When all was said and done, Asma was not an action lady. She wasn't meant to run deadly errands. She wasnt meant to take lives with her gun. Could that mean she could not  build a life with Alex? Could that mean she wasn't family to Jessica and Jax? It didnt make sense. Alex wouldn't have inked her name on his ribs if she wasn't. So what was the panic about?

Jessica. It was about her. Not being able to know where she was drove the woman crazy with fear. It was a gut feeling that told her Jessica was not alright. She had no idea of where the chocolate haired woman was or why it was taking so long but She knew something was up. Jessica was the reason Asma did not leave Charming a couple years ago. She was the reason Asma was done drinking and stayed sober for two years and and 11 months. She was the reason Asma accepted Tig in her life. She was the reason of her laughters, her tears, her dreams and transformation. Jessica was her family, the chosen one,  now that her blood family was gone. Losing her was too much to bear, the thought alone gave her nightmares. So was she petty when she asked?

No, of course not. She wasn't but she promised Tig not to ask anymore and while he pretended he didn't see water in her eyes and worries on her face, he knew damn well she was eating herself up with the lack of answers. All she had was prayers, so Shen prayed for he returned sister's safe return. She prayed.

SoA: A special Pie delivery.

(SoA): A special Pie delivery.

A/N: She misses Jess. Without her friend, she's kind of a mess. Fortunately, piepie listens :p

xxx

"You are aware I'm not one of your girlfriends, Asma? You can't just sit around and talk worse than a chatterbox!" Opie seemed annoyed, but he wasn't very serious. He knew Asma was reaching the limits of her patience.

Ever since Jessica went "missing", Asma had tried to know what was happening. She asked everywhere, from Brad to Opie but they all kept their lips tightly shut. Nobody knew what was truly happening or where she was, except for Brad and he certainly would not mouth her location and whereabouts, not even under the threat of having his brain mashed up. So Asma wouldn't know. It became even more complicated when the tattoo artist decided she would embrace their lives. She, who tried to stay away for as long as possible, was now asking to be let in and was met with resistance.

"I need to talk to someone and my girl is not here..."

Alex refused to let her in. He wasn't ready for her to throw herself into a life full of danger. With his luck, she would be dead and he wasn't ready to take that risk. Tig didn't understand the change of heart and they have not been able to sit and talk about it calmly. Anytime the topic would come, they would bicker and argue and slam fists against table or doors behind them. Their arguments became more and more intense, to the point of Tig being denied access to her house. They were on a "break" of some sort and not on speaking terms anyway. Caught in between their drama was Opie, who enforced Jessica, Jax, and Tig's decision to keep Asma out of the juicy part of their lives. He would keep at it until they all reached an agreement.

"We miss her too, Azz. She's been away for a while yeah."

"For too long you mean. Is she even okay?"

Asma was missing Jessica. Her phone didn't receive her texts anymore. There were no phone calls, she wasn't even at home with the kids. Jessica was not at Charming and yet Asma thought she had seen her in any brunette she came across on the street. Each and every time she thought she had spotted the queen, it was nothing but a false alert. There was nothing..no one...and it hurt. She felt empty.

"I know you're not hearing me out here. I know ya'll stubborn with me. I know he's seen hell and he's afraid, but I need to know everything."

"I can't tell you shit anyway, don't insist." -He crossed his arms over his chest.-

"Shit! Are you all going to treat me like a child? Do you think I don't know what's going on?" -She tilted her head to the side, her fingers fidgeting-

"What I think is that you and Tig should sit the fuck down and talk like two adults! You're not listening to him Azz! You're not listening to him and he's not listening to you. And now he can't even go home to you." -He pointed out-

"I do not feel he wants to build something with me. If I'm oblivious to half of his life, then I'm not with him 100% Piepie! That's my complaint here! Same with you, same with Jess. I love you like family and yet, I'm blindsided. I can't see the full picture, It's like I'm missing something, you see?" -She looked at her hands.-

Her heart was beating hard against her ribcage and she didn't know how to make her point or if her friend understood her. Opie seemed to know what she wanted to say but he simply stood by his people. It wasn't the right time for that. Wait until Jessica came back. Wait until she came back.

How long could you keep a poker face -SoA-

(SoA)

How long could someone keep a poker face? How long would a fake smile last when the growing fear of potentially losing her sister was taking over? Nobody at the club wanted to tell her the truth. Nobody wanted to tell her where Jessica was or what was truly happening. She tried her best to keep herself collected but they would just NOT give into her best smiles. They wouldn't say anything and she suspected it had to be because of Alex. It had been weeks since she expressed her desire to be let in their true lives, to know about their business. It made sense for the tattoo artist that since she already thought of them as her family and wanted to build something serious with Tig that at some point, she would leave her apprehensions and fear behind and embrace the truth. But Tig refused. He couldn't fathom the idea of allowing her to walk into the devil's den. He couldn't accept she took the risk to die because she was too curious. His brothers understood he wasn't ready and until him, Jax and Jessica agreed to let Asma know, then she wouldn't.

She was relentless, however, always asking questions before Opie put her back to her place with a nice -not so nice- sentence and the most gentle way he had to shut her down. He could see the frustration on her face, the barely held back groan of anger and the strength she used to not roll her eyes at each of his sentences. He could tell she knew already what all of that was about but there was something different between having a gut feeling and being TOLD something. He'd let her think. Alex was not welcome in her house until they both agreed to discuss her demand again so she had not seen him in weeks, not to mention that when they texted, it always ended up in an argument because she would bring that shit back on the table. Why didn't they let her in? Was she truly part of that family? Questions started to flood her mind since she had no answers, she was starting to spiral. Maybe they didn't see her as part of their life, keeping her away from their business was a not so subtle way to keep their distance from her. Maybe...So until she knew the truth, she'd keep a smile on her face and keep asking.

Bäahal x Dany: I chose you, I love you

"Long before we met, your name was nothing to me but pain and sorrow. I dreamed of the day I could spit on our father's grave for all the pain he gave our mothers. I could care less about the Kings and Queens because to me they were all the same. They were all cogs of the same oppressive machine that broke the backs of my fellow brothers and sisters. And one day.../You/ came along. You came along and you turned that fist into dust. You burned it with your dragons.

Your name became something else. Your name meant freedom. Your name meant justice. your name meant reinvention. You transformed the lives of those you met and offered them something they never had before: choice. You gave them the choice to either stay in the past and live the life they had always known or move forward to a new future.

I did not follow you because of your name, Dany. I followed you because of your heart. You gave me a reason to live, something to fight for, something to protect. You gave me the choice to help you make our name something different, something better. You did this.. you did..You did this! It doesn't matter how this will end, as long as you will have me. Because I love you...And it terrifies me to love again because I know I can lose you. It's a risk worth taking. You're a risk worth taking."

SoA: Ride or Die

Ride or Die :

Jessica had left for quite a long time now and only a few and way-too-short moments she got to talk with Jax, allowed Asma to know the whereabouts of her sister. It wasn't unusual for the queen to leave her castle and go on a solo mission. It wasn't the first time and yet this time felt different. Asma observed, in silence, as Jax was losing his mind because he didn't know where his wife was or if she was safe. He had no clues about her mission and vaguely understood -and perhaps, believed- that she had a mark on her and was trying to get rid of it so she could come back safely at home. In a way, she did have a mark on her, but it truly wasn't on her. It was on the people she cared about, her family, her extended family and the former love of her life. Of course, nobody but Jessica and Sabina were aware of what was going on, Asma didn't so she had to trust Jax and his reactions. She had to trust the conversations she eavesdropped on. She had to trust her guts. And what did her guts say?

They would have advised she runs away. That gut-wrenching feeling she had when Oscar found her and forced her to leave town was present now. All day, every day she felt the crushing weight of danger on top of her head and every fiber of her body screamed for her to leave, run away, start again. Or drink. The bottle was seductive, especially when she was at Jax' place to take care of the kids. There were days she would struggle more than others because the urge to fetch a glass of bourbon took over, or empty a bottle of Jack... ah, dear old friend Jack. He was teasing her with his welcoming poisonous arms. He was teasing her with the false reassurance and false comfort she thought she had whenever she drank herself to oblivion. She made a promise, and because she did it, there was little to no chance that Asma would have left Charming. It was her home now, the one she shared with Jessica, the clubs, and Tig. It was her home now and because she was very family oriented, she couldn't just leave. She wasn't to drop everyone behind, especially not the kids. How could she?

It was her choice, after all, not to be aware of everything the club did. It was her choice to try and pretend to have a decent and lawful life because of the ways she had been raised. It was her choice and yet it sucked. It sucked so hard not to be able to truly know what was going on. It sucked because she couldn't fully be there for her family. Could that work in the long term? Was it the right thing to do? Be clueless, willfully ignore a large chunk of her family and friends' lives? How could she truly be there if she didn't know what happened behind closed doors? How could she truly love them if she didn't know the true horrors? She felt her request to be kept out of the loop was naive, well-meaning but naive and that now that things became more complicated, she had to either change the way she wanted to interact with the club or remain clueless forever.

The real question was and had always been: Do you love them? Did she love Samcro? Did she love Jessica? Did she love the Tellers and did she love Tig? The latter was in love with her, he tried his best to become a better version of himself but there would be a moment he would feel limited or would want more than what they already had. There would be a moment he would want to share with his « old lady », and she had to be ready for this, she had to accept this eventuality. She had to because she was in love with him too. Fuck this, she loved them all and after months spent pondering on whether or not she should become more than just a family-outsider, she chose to do things differently. She chose to fully embrace that life and the shitstorm that came with it. She would inform Tig, Jax and the rest when the time would come but the decision already impacted on her. She felt liberated.

« What's going on Bella? You seem happy? »

Tig's tired voice broke the silence of their room. He crashed on her bed and fell asleep while she was working on her desk. He woke up a few minutes ago and searched for her with his baby blues, only to find his girlfriend sitting on her chair, one leg up and the other down. She was working on a tattoo she projected to make. It would be in the same vein as the one she did on Tig, except, it would be his name Alex « Tig » Tragger she would be writing on herself. Instead of colors and bars, she would design symbols that belonged to SAMCRO, like the crow, the skulls and of course add a few elements that were specific to her, like the dandelions and roses she would put in bouquets below the skulls. She sighed and grabbed her phone.

« I'm alright Tig. I'm actually feeling pretty good about myself. I didn't drink a single drop despite my throat asking for it. I didn't give in. » She said while typing on her phone. « I think we could celebrate that shit, now can we? »

« I think we can. What about you come to papa? » He suggested in his tired but husky voice. Asma looked up to him with her big hazel eyes and nodded.

« In a minute, love. I'm coming. » She then looked at her text and took a deep breath.

#I don't know where you are, but I count on you to come back to me so we can talk to Jess. I'm tired of pretending I can have my cake and eat it too. I'm tired of being kept out of the real things and not be there to actually support you through all the shit you're going through. I decided to be better. I decided I wanted transparency. I decided I'll make that step forward because fuck this shit, you deserve the real deal. I'm not going to run away like I thought I would. I'm not going panic. I just want to know and be there for you when it truly matters. That's what Family is for and I'm your fucking sister, so I should act like it. It's ride or die, babe! Ride or fucking die !#

She sent the text and put the phone down before she went back to her bed and snuggled with Tig. It was a huge step forward, but a much-needed one. Tig noticed she was smiling and while he didn't have the heart to smile because of all the shit going through the club, it did make him smile and it did make him kiss her again.

-TBC-

Doya: Anniversary

Anniversary day!

3 years already of being part of this family of Misfits. 3 years I would never trade for anything else. 3 years with him too. He promised I will have a no-work day and I can eat as much as I want! what more can a girl ask for? I have my boys, I have food, I have a quiet day of being pampered. I'll probably spend it snuggled against him watching soap operas or...eheheheheh you know, having fun.

Castiel and Oya: Promise me

A/ N: Sam and Dean aren't home just yet, so I'm stretching a little bit the time shared between Castiel and Oya. It's soon her anniversary! She's been through a lot lately so I'm giving her (Them) some rest.

Xxxxx

After saving Joshua, Oya slept for two days straight. She wouldn't wake up so Castiel decided he would let her rest and run some errands for her. He remembered she had not picked the framed collage she wanted to gift everyone with, so he went back to the mall and took it for her. It was simple and elegant, a black frame for a collage the size of a painting, with genuine pictures of the four of them. The angel fondly stared at the pictures, mostly selfies Oya took with all of them. It was a kind gesture, a very simple but effective one. He didn't realize she had taken so many pictures of them or that they even had a moment in their lives when everything wasn't grim and bleak. The angel brought the collage back and put it in her bedroom. He thought she was still sleeping but Oya had woken up a while ago. She had been thinking a lot since she opened her eyes.

Her anniversary was supposed to be something fun, to mark a beautiful moment in her life. It was a moment to celebrate and reflect on the last couple of years she spent in America. She sat on her bed and leaned her arms on her lap as the sweet memory of her late friend, Isaac Stenton filled her mind. How could she forget Isaac? He was the only civilian she saved a couple of years ago, who wanted to get to know her better. She couldn't forget his smiles and genuine affection towards her. Isaac helped Oya express her emotions, back when she was still very closed off and wouldn't admit she cared for the Winchesters more than she said she did. Isaac was a sweet soul who made a friend out of her and she realized that a year later, she was missing him. A quick hold on her phone and she texted his family, just to check on them. Thinking of him was painful and bittersweet but at the same time, she realized that he gave her more than she lost when he died.

He opened the door to a new beginning, to improve and to grow. She thought of Sarah and Joshua Thomas, her childhood friends who made quite a good life for themselves. Sarah had a family and was out of the hunting business once she got married. Joshua stayed a hunter and an actual good one, but even he was thinking of having his own family. They refused to let go of Oya when she came back to the USA and somehow, helped her realize that the Winchesters were her family. Funny, how life was when you thought of it. Since she wasn't sleeping anymore, Castiel simply straightened up and leaned against the wall.

« You're awake. » -He observed. She ran her hand through her heavy black locks-

« I am. » She rubbed her eyes and yawned again. « At long last! » She mused.

-Castiel nodded and said in his monochord voice-« I got your framed collage from the mall so you won't have to go take it. »

He tilted his head to the side as Oya flashed her gorgeous smile at him. It was her first genuine smile in a while because Castiel didn't have to go to such length for her. He usually didn't bother but this time, he did. The angel knew the petite hunter would appreciate it and because he knew she would be smiling, he simply did. Oya learned how to keep things simple over the years on her anniversary: A piece of some pie, one candle to represent the new year and eventually presents she would slip under their pillows, like a secret Santa. This year was no different, the collage was the present and instead of slipping it under their beds, they would hang it somewhere so they could see it. She was excited just because she anticipated their reactions and her smile grew in size before it withered. She woke up with worries in her mind, the remnants of the nightmares she had two days in a row and the thoughts of her loved ones who passed away. Oya woke up with the urge to celebrate life in all its forms and more specifically, the fact her loved ones were still alive, no matter for how long. She had wanted to talk about their rocky beginnings for a while now, but never really had the time so they could talk. Maybe, today was the day, she had to try.

« Thank you. You didn't have to. » -She stood up and stretched her arms, yawning one last time to fully wake up- « It's gorgeous, isn't it? »

« It's simple yes. » The angel replied with a nod. He liked the simplicity of it all, a nice collage of pictures that reminded them of the good times was worth all the vintage cars and artifacts they could find. « I like it. » He added to reassure her. Castiel knew he sometimes had to make sure she understood him fully. She wasn't like the brothers who could somehow, figure out what he meant, so he had to work a little harder when he perceived confusion in the young human. Compliments, for example, didn't occur naturally to the angel or didn't translate well when he tried to make some, so he had to adjust.

« I know. » She said with a soft smile, She turned around and removed the shirt she was wearing. Underneath her clothes were a pair of sports bra and boxers so she didn't feel worried about getting undressed in front of the angel. He could see the scars she had on her body, the long and deep cut from the Asanbosam, and some fresher stabbing wounds she sustained from her time against the shapeshifter. Oya had the body of a fighter. Anyone else would be off put but not Castiel and certainly not the Winchesters. Oya then went to Dean's dresser and took a large white towel from it she wrapped around her frame. « I have to hit the shower, but before I do, I wanted to talk to you. »

«Yes? » Castiel scratched the top of his nose but didn't move from the wall he was leaning against. She turned her head to glance at him and nodded. « I guess I'll have a seat then. » She nodded again and turned on her heels.

« Please. » He went and sat on the bed. She quietly walked towards him and sat next to him. « Thank you. I feel we haven't really stopped to talk about...us. » She began with, her fingers drummed against the soft fabric of the towel that covered her thigh. « And if I'm going to spend some more time with all of you here...There are some things that need to be said. Especially about you. » She bit her bottom lip and looked at him straight in the eye.

« Go ahead... » -His tone was still neutral but she could see he was curious about what she had to say.- « I'm listening. »

« I know. I know you are. I'm grateful you are. » She began with. « You know I hate angels. » -He nodded- « I already told you why so I won't repeat myself here. Today, I still feel the same because there are days I miss my family and it hurts so fucking much.» She patted the towel where her heart should have been. « I feel the same except for you. I love you. You know that. » She put her hand on his knee and looked up at his face.

« I can't speak for my siblings, I understand why you feel the way you do. They have failed you when they should have brought you comfort. We failed you. » He said, his blue eyes averting from her face to the hand that was holding his vessel's knees. « Well, lucky me then. » He teased, a smirk crossing his features. « I'd rather not be at the end of your wrath. »

« Oh come on! » She chuckled and held onto his knee tighter. « I mean it, Cas. What you did for me... »

Her voice broke as she thought of their latest hunt together. He did help her track down the possessed Joshua. Without Castiel, Oya would have never been able to save her friend, let alone face him. The very first reaction she had was run away because she couldn't face the Christian demon who possessed him. The nightmares she had ever since she encountered Possessed! Joshua was even worse than her regular ones. She ran away when she should have stayed and helped her friend. Castiel didn't judge her for her mistake, he didn't judge her for her genuine fear. After all, she hated angels but feared Christian demons, it was who she was. The angel helped her save Joshua, but she did overcome some of her fears and faced that demon anyway. She did it to save Castiel, not because it was Dean's best friend, but because she loved him. She realized it when they went up against that demon. She realized she would genuinely give her life to save Castiel's and it filled her with joy and fear. Something she couldn't fully explain. Shame took over, however, as she remembered the way she used to treat him before their relationship became better. Shame urged her to ask for forgiveness, so she did.

« You don't have to thank me for that. I wanted to help you. I know how important that was for you. Joshua is your friend, and you are terrified of demons. It made sense that I went with you. » He said, holding onto her shoulder. Oya nodded and leaned her cheek against his arm.

« I actually do have to thank you for that... And apologize too. I was a little bitch with you ever since we met. I put you in the same bag as all the angels and ignored everything Dean and Sam told me about you. I wanted to hate you, I needed to hate you because you were the first angel I've ever met and at long last, I had someone I could lash out at. It was dumb, selfish, and horrible for me to treat you the way I did. » She closed her eyes. « I ask for your forgiveness, but you don't have to forgive me. »

She resumed drumming on her lap. He stared at her for a while, stoic as usual until finally, his gaze became warmer and he gently cupped her other cheek. He knew she had been thinking about it for months, probably since the very first day they got along well and it stayed at the back of her head. He wanted to help her feel better and relieve her from a self-imposed burden. Her eyes averted from his neck to finally meet his warm gaze. He might not smile, but she knew he was looking at her with great care in his baby blues. She was certain now, that he cared for her otherwise he wouldn't have gone with her in this case. He wouldn't have saved Joshua for her, he wouldn't have forced her to stitch her head or even bother bring her home. He did all of this because he wanted to and because he could. It didn't get lost on Oya who put her hands over the back of his larger ones and tried to smile to him.

« I forgave you long ago Oya. I forgave you because I understood why you were acting like this. I forgave you when I realized you really cared for the brothers and you would do anything in your power to save them. I forgave you a long time ago, you don't need forgiveness. » He then planted a kiss on top of her head.

« Thank you... » She choked on her words and shut her eyes tight. Oya was exhausted, emotionally exhausted from the last months she'd just spent. The constant fights, the heavy cases, the dangers she escaped from. She nearly died several times, had to watch old friends die, had to save Joshua from being possessed by a demon, had to talk Sarah out of becoming a hunter and even now, she had to struggle with her feelings. It was a lot. She felt a lot and her heart could not handle that many feelings, some had to come out. « Thank you. » She repeated again, as tears filled her closed eyes. She knew she wouldn't be able to contain them so she didn't even try.

« You're welcome. » -He simply said, his features giving him a relaxed expression on his face, which helped Oya relax as well.- « I like you Oya. You're family. » She skipped a heartbeat as he spoke. « It took some time but I saw you for who you really are. I like that person. » She nodded as a couple of tears just ran down her cheeks. « I know you care about this family as well. You care a lot. » -She nodded again-

« Which is why I should tell you...What happened with Joshua made me realize that, if I ever became evil, or possessed or...promise me you will be the one to finish me off. »

« What are you talking about? »

« I can't do that to Dean. He can't be the one to kill me. He can't... » She swallowed a lump and bit her bottom lip. « It happened already... When he fought against the Shapeshifter? He had to kill her--- me! She looked just like me. He had to kill me. » She said, her eyes wet from all the tears she was crying. « We never talked about it, but I know how traumatic that is. And given how she taunted me, I already know she told him I was feeling something... » She sighed and shut her eyes. « I also know we're not talking about it and I won't. »

« You care for Dean. Everyone knows. » He said with a tone that suggested he was teasing her when in truth he wanted to alleviate the situation and give her a reason to chuckle. It didn't work, Oya shook her head.

« I-I-I very much do. I care for him in ways I can't express Castiel. I can't say it, but I can show him. And I implore you to never let him be the one to kill me if it comes to this. He would never cope with it, never. » She held onto Castiel's hands tighter and opened her eyes to look at the angel.

« I will never let anything this bad happen to you. He wouldn't have to »

« Just promise me, Cas! Promise me... » She said, her voice breaking down again. Castiel eyes shifted for a second before he finally looked at her and nodded. He wouldn't let Dean go through this ordeal and he wouldn't let Oya get in this situation to begin with. He would try anything in his power to protect her. Just like he would protect the brothers.

« I promise. » He finally said in his very laconic tone, but she knew by the intensity of his gaze that he meant his words. She relaxed and wrapped her arms around Castiel for a hug. He shifted his gaze and gently patted her back. « I got you. »

And he did. He had her back now and she knew it.

-TBC-

SoA: The cutie and the Pie!

A/ N: Ah! If you thought I forgot 'bout PiePie, you couldn't be more wrong:p everyone but Asma belongs to Sons of Anarchy and its owners! 

xxx xxx

« So rumors were true, you've finally hit your target today! »

Opie's voice was a tease, Asma had made a lot of progress since Jessica started to train her. She went in a matter of months, from carrying a fake gun to training with real ones. Tig still wasn't very pleased with the whole concept of his beloved carrying a gun. Somehow, he still saw the woman who would rather die than own a gun, the one who despised seeing them, let alone use them. Little did he actually know what sparked the need for Asma to carry and use one. He didn't try to stop Asma, however, and she was grateful that he didn't. It became vital for Asma, once Jessica killed Oscar, to be able to defend herself because she realized that there would be a moment nobody would come to her rescue. With the line of work of her chosen family, there was nothing she could do but expect the worse every single time they went out and one of this scenario involved her turning into a bait. This couldn't happen, in any case, she'd rather die on the spot than being kidnapped and used to coerce Tig, Opie or Jessica or Jax. Moreover, she would end being the damsel in distress. Aside from learning how to shoot, she took some self-defense courses at the local gym, enhancing her ability to defend herself from at least the regular Joe.

« Shut up Piepie! It's not the first time I hit it and for the record, you're an idiot! » She stuck her tongue out before a smile graced her features. « I trained very hard since the first day and I'm very happy with my result. I am good enough to keep the bad guys at bay I guess. » She put her hands on the counter and grinned at Opie.

« At long last! I was afraid you'd shoot me if someone gave you a gun or something. » He scratched the top of his nose. « What are you doing here, by the way? I thought you'd stop by Nix' place or spend the day with Lyla today. »

« I will. I'm supposed to meet Lyla in an hour. I just needed to stop by and see...you. » -Her smile didn't drop although her tone became more serious.-

As a matter of fact, Asma was very concerned. It had been weeks now and Jessica had not been the one providing her the precious training. She had to actually ask the owner of the shooting range to help her complete her training. It wasn't like Jessica not to honor her appointments but it had become a trend these days. She would always come up with an excuse, either it was a migraine, or the job, or the kids and always Asma let it slide. She would nod her head, she would agree with Jessica and pretend she ate her bullshit but she knew. Asma felt it in her bones, the week she spent at the Teller's house after her mother passed away to let her know that something was wrong and she desperately needed to hear from Opie that she was right, that something was indeed wrong. Opie leaned into the counter and looked into Asma's hazel eyes intensely.

«Me? You came all the way just to see me? I knew you had a crush on me but I-- »

« Oh shut up! That crush was a long time ago and how dare you use it against me! » She poked his arm playfully.

She did have a crush on him, she did tell him that moons ago. They did get along quite well from the start, probably because he was actually very easy going and she wasn't looking for trouble when she settled in. It always was deeper than just teases and waves of laughter, even though it didn't seem that way. The closer to Jessica Asma became, the closer to Opie she seemed to get. Simple stuff, nice pieces of advice. She would deal with the whole Lyla relationship and whatever Opie wanted to share with her -anything BUT club related issues since they agreed to keep her out of this. Asma would help him with that. She was quite good at spotting what was wrong and she would more than often care for his well-being and try and help the best she could with what he wanted to share with her.

Simple stuff, nice advice. He would also lend her his shoulder. She barely complained to him because she was the type to keep it to herself and hold back her words and feelings but when she did lose her mind, or spoke one too many words and opened up to him, he was there. He listened. He comforted her -usually by making her laugh until she couldn't breathe-, he'd make sure she wouldn't drink anything and stayed sober. He would watch after her, a lot like a brother would actually. They had this kind of relationship. All was good and sweet up until it wasn't and when it wasn't, when the serious face game was on, they would step up for each other.

«Fine! Fine! I'm kinda hurt, I thought you'd think I was hot forever. I feel like you swiped left on me, that's kinda bad Pinkie! »

« I wouldn't. Come on... » She said with a faint grin, her voice still serious. « PiePie...What's going on with Jessica? » She asked, words escaped from her lips before she could think this through. « I mean, is she alright? I haven't seen her in a while, she's always busy...As a matter of fact, I haven't seen you guys that much. »

« yeah...Club stuff, you know? We're overwhelmed a little bit. Just a lot to take in, nothing's bad. We're good. »

Opie noted she was shaking and nervously twitching on her spot. He knew Asma was worried about Jessica and usually, she had good reasons to be, but sometimes it was just in her head and she made a tempest out of a glass of water. This time seemed to be like that. Jessica had been around, sure, she was busy but he didn't notice anything odd from the queen. She was doing business as usual so he wasn't bothered by it. He would know, they were very close, brother-sister like. He would know for sure if something was happening and she didn't tell him. Asma sighed in relief, seemingly believing him. After all, it probably was in her head, she was doing alright and Jessica was not in any danger of some sort. She moistened her lips and bit her bottom lip.

« Alright then. It was just all in my head. »

« You worry too much Pinkie. Wayyyy too much. » -Opie grinned at her and held onto her shoulder with one of his large hands. Asma tilted her head to the side and wiped some traitorous tears that nearly fell- « You couldn't possibly have come all this way just to ask me if Jess was alright, have you? »

« No, no. I didn't come just for that. I also wanted to know where I could get a gun. One that isn't registered. I really don't want the Popo to know that I actually own one. »

« So Jess gets to teach you how to shoot but I get to do all the paperwork? » -He teased her and chuckled as he saw Asma roll her eyes.- « Come on, Pinkie, let me have some fun. »

«PiePie! » She sighed and rolled her eyes harder. « Can you help me or not? »

« Wow, you're making demands now? » He couldn't help, she was so easy to rile up, it was fun to watch. She pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest. « Okay, Okay. I'm serious now. I can help you. Just give me a couple of days and as soon as I have some free time, I'll get you your gun. »

« Thanks. » She bent forward and planted a kiss on his cheek before she waved at him. « I gotta go, I'm pretty sure Lyla is going to kill me because I'm having her wait an eternity! » She blew him a kiss and exited the workshop. Opie leaned against the counter and scratched his beard. Nah, things were pretty okay these days, Jess seemed good, Jax didn't tell him shit about no troubles, so all was just in Asma's worried head.

Well, maybe not.

-TBC-

There are days when life is good

There are days when Life is good,
You wake up and you feel at peace as if everything was in order.
You feel as if the nightmare has ended a few days ago.
The heart in your chest beats at a steady pace, a sweet rhythm
And you notice every small detail you forgot how to appreciate,
Like the warm sun kissing your skin or the taste of a nice meal.
Like the sweet text from someone you love checking on you,
Or the smile of your sister when she sees you.

There are days when Life is good,
And you realize that you still want more of that.
And you realize that you still have some strength inside.
And the fight isn't over just yet, there's still a lot to see and feel.
There's still some life to live, yes, there are days like these.
When you just realize that through the good and the bad
When you were at your worst and you were at your best,
There were still the same people around, building you up,
There were still the same people, your tribe, your kin, your loves
Who just made life a little better, a lot less dreadful.

And it feels good, It feels wonderful, You feel grateful.
For what's the point of life if not to love and be loved?
What's the point of life if not to create from what's been destroyed?