Baahal x Varys: “What will I become.”

Baahal x Varys: “What will I become.”

A/N: Long time no see Varys :) 

xxxxxxxxxx

Jon and Daenerys were spending more and more time together, after the war against the Night King, Jon wanted to learn how to properly mount Rhaegal and while they were preparing for the upcoming war against Cersei, it also allowed for the pair to enjoy each other. They survived the war against Death Itself. They survived the long night and lived to tell the story. Now the men of the North, the surviving Dothrakis and Unsullied were filled with rage. Cersei and King's Landing left them to die at the hands of the White Walkers. Jaime was the exception to the rule of the acting queen being an asshole and a tyrant to boot. He showed up, driven by his genuine desire to fight for mankind and protect it from Death. His sacrifice was noted, acknowledged but it didn't make people hate Cersei less, it only fueled their hatred. The conversations the princess heard from the moment Jaime left were all about Daenerys' reign. What kind of Queen would she be? Would she truly break the wheel or was she doomed to repeat the mistakes and horrors of her ancestors? Those questions were real, whispered as the princess walked by and yet, written all over the northerners faces. They had enough of Tyrants and Bäahal understood their suspicions. How could they not have any when Daenerys was still foreign to most of those kingdoms, a queen from the south, from a lineage many refused to follow. A war would be devastating and perhaps, killing Cersei and getting the crown would not be enough. Mereen was a far cry of what could happen, a picture of what was to come. Eventually...

The silver princess needed some time alone, a moment far away from people and their questions about their future. Dany said she would be fair, Bäahal trusted her sister to be. Dany would sit on the Iron Throne, Bäahal would ensure she would. Dany would happily live with Jon...There was no other way. He was genuine and sincere. He loved her sister with all his heart and perhaps because he saw her gentle and kind nature, he would convince his people she was not a threat but a gift. She wasn't a problem but the solution. She was...different. After the war, there was no doubt in the princess' mind that they would be crowned Queen and Consort King and they would rule. Although, it became clearer as the days came by that Jon never wanted to rule and he might just reject this position. He wouldn't be “king”. He would be a consort, he would be of assistance, he would follow Daenerys wherever she goes. But what about the princess? What about Bâahal? She stopped walking, how long had she been prowling around the castle of Winterfell? Long enough to forget where she wanted to go and why she was up, on the halls of the roof. It didn't matter, did it? She had just arrived. The cold wind of Winterfell blew in her face, but she heard the sound of footsteps in the snow and turned her face. She noticed Varys who was walking closer to her and nodded so he knew she had noticed him. Lord Varys. He had always been watching her, either by himself or with the help of his “little birds”. He had always been insightful, especially when it came to the princess and her doubts.

“Lord Varys..”

“Princess.” -He nodded and stopped a few steps away from her.-

“Let me guess...You are worried about me?” -She teased him with before her face turned and she stared in front of her.

“Not this time. If you had asked me the same question a few weeks ago I would have told you yes.”

“Oh... Lord Jaime.” She pointed out before a small chuckle crept out of her lips. Of course, it would have been about Jaime Lannister. Everyone and their mother seemed to think that the princess couldn't handle the departure of the knight, but she did. No matter how much she hated the idea of going to war with Cersei and potentially killing the man, her loyalty came before anything else. The decision was an obvious one to make; nothing came before Daenerys. “I did try my best to talk some sense into my sister and she said she would try and wait for Cersei to surrender. If she does surrender than everyone is safe. If she doesn't and goes to war, then everybody is dead.”

“Are you willing to kill innocent people?” He asked her, his brows lifted with curiosity. She shook her head.

“Not innocent people, Lord Varys. Cersei's soldiers. I am willing to burn Cersei soldiers to the bones. Innocent lives would be put in danger because of the false queen but we will spare them. As much as possible.”

“You sound very confident.” He said, a tight smile creeping on his lips.

“Don't you trust our queen?” -Her tone was dry as she furrowed her brows. He shrugged and shook his head.

“I do trust her, but war is war and war has never been pretty. No matter how good the intentions our leaders might have, sometimes the result is devastating. Are you ready to face this?”

“I am.” She clenched her fists and moistened her lips before she looked at him again. “Even if I have to be the one to kill Lord Jaime.”

“I see.” He noticed it cost her to say so but she did say it with conviction. She was willing to do anything to help her sister sit on the throne but she knew -and was dreading- the next question Lord Varys would ask. “Do you know what you will do, once the war is over?”-Her purple hues glowed and she chewed at her bottom lip before she unclenched her fists and turned her body away from him. He touched a nerve and he knew it. She had no idea about what she would do next. Her lack of words was a signal for him to step in.- “You don't have to answer right now, princess but you have to consider what you will become after the war is over.”

“What I will become?” -She repeated, her eyes averting from left to right. “I--- don't know...”And there it was, that look on her face. The look of someone who was terrified of her future. She had not thought this through and didn't quite know what lied in the future after Daenerys defeated Cersei. She suddenly realized that there was a void she had refused to look at ever since they arrived at Winterfell and being confronted with the hard truth stunted the princess who swallowed hard and pinched her lips together. She twitched her fingers and closed her eyes. “I don't know...”

“With time, you will find out. “ -But he had no idea-

-TBC-

GoT: A changed woman

GoT: A changed woman

A/N: Just tackling a little bit Bäahal, after the Night King's war and after Jaime left. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The fresh wind of Winterfell whipped the princess' face, welcoming her with its cold embrace as she finally found a moment for herself. Isolated from the court, away from her sister and her consort, she was free to think as she pleased. The war had just begun, the real one where men would fight against men in a battle that would define their future. Who would win between the lions and the dragons? Who would win between the mad queen and the queen who would change it all? Bäahal wanted to believe that, if Daenerys And Cersei were stripped down to their essence, it would become clear that Cersei would have nothing to give. She never did. Cersei was a leech, a vampire that would suck the life out of anyone she would meet. She was overwhelming and no matter how hard Lord Tyrion was trying to deny it, she had shaped his entire life. Her words, her attitude, the hatred she felt towards him made the hand of Daenerys who he was today. His desire to be loved by his sister was so strong that his love -yes, he did love Cersei despite everything- transcended her hatred. Was Cersei able to make people love the monster she was? Did people willingly sacrificed their humanity in order to get closer to the sun? Cersei was the sun, the one where her entire family and her swath of followers would burn their wings because they were too close. Daenerys was like the moon, kind, gentle, attractive and fair. You wouldn't burn because of her but you would spend your entire life chasing after her. She was beautiful, extremely so, but more than that she was truly revered, admired and praised because of her qualities. She was benevolent, caring and loving just like the Moon actually was...People wouldn't die because of her, but they would try to reach her level. Destructive? Maybe so. Inspiring ?.. Definitely. She inspired people and Bäahal felt inspired.

It became obvious over the weeks that Bäahal hated Cersei. Of course, comparing her to the burning sun was hard and maybe it was jealousy speaking through her hard judgment. After all, it was true that Jaime Lannister's presence impacted the princess so much so that she was daydreaming of meeting him again, under different circumstances. He made her change her mind about his family and forced her to reconsider her biases. She was biased, terribly so. Lady Kyra and Jaime ultimately were prisoners of their fate, victims of their blood and Martyrs of love. Love defined and drove them. Love consumed both. Lady Kyra was forced to endure loss after loss because of her father and lord Jaime was a fool in love with a tyrant. The idea alone was enough to make the princess sick. She understood his choice and respected that Lord Jaime returned to his one true love. He knew there was a huge chance he would die on the battlefield, but he wanted to die defending the love of his life. He wanted to die where he belonged, with her and she understood that sentiment. She understood...but she didn't accept this. Victims.... heroes... the line was blurred and sadness overwhelmed the princess.  Maybe she felt more towards the knight that she wanted to accept and the idea of it alone terrified the Targaryen who tried her best to shrug it off. It couldn't be more than what it was already. It couldn't be more than respect for an old fool who served his people and saved them from a tyrant. It was dangerous to navigate through this troubled water... dangerous indeed.

War had already begun and the princess was traumatized by what she saw and had to do. The wrights were one of a kind. Death incarnate that refused to keep the quiet stream of its existence. Death was cold and surrounding everything and the darkness forced her to a corner where she had to unearth a side of her she never thought existed. Survival took another level on that day, she was a cornered animal and she had never felt so alive.  So hurt... so confused. That was the word! She was confused with how she was supposed to feel. They were days before the big battle, days after Lord Jaime left the caste and all she could think of was how much she felt his absence. The hallways were empty and yet, every corner of this castle reminded her of him. She sometimes visited his guest room, only to remember the conversations they had there, the wine they shared, the tears she cried for him. She would sit on his bed, remembered him as he was before he left the castle and touch the fresh sheets put there by servants that no longer carried his scent. He was gone and she was missing him, that was the truth she was trying to avoid. Lord Varys found her, he had noticed her silence since her return from the battlefield. He was concerned about her, especially since she had made a lot of progress in communicating with others. As soon as she heard his footsteps, the princess stiffened but didn't say anything. 

"Princess..." -He started with-

"Lord Varys... I didn't expect you to come to find me on such a windy day. I was fine..."

"You needed company." -His tone was assertive. Of course, she did.-

"I am fine."  -She quickly said, still looking ahead of her-

"That's not how it looks to me." -he retorted, his eyes wide open as he was expecting her to make a move towards him.-

"I /am/ fine." She replied dryly before her purple hues finally stared at the man. "Speak of your true Intentions lord Varys. I am not in the mood for your games today." She warned him before her eyes averted from his face to the sky. 

"War has changed you." -He tried out, his eyes peering at her-

"How so?" -she pursed her lips. He was right.-

"You are more withdrawn... distant dare I say... And yet conflicted. Have you talked to your sister about the war against Cersei?" 

"What about it?" She glanced at him, uncomfortable with how easily he guessed right.

"Jaime Lannister is on your mind, princess. You fear to encounter him on the battlefield. It is obvious how much you care for him."

"I do /not/ fear any encounter with Jaime  Lannister. I do not /fear/ seeing his face again, let alone stab him with my sword should I get the opportunity. We already talked about it. Should we meet, we would give the other an honorable death." 

"Yes,  you did talk about it. You are resolved as well but do you want to do it?" 

"My desires have no weight in this war. What I want doesn't matter. What needs to be done will be done." Her voice trembled and she fought hard to keep her voice from breaking. "We are nothing but instruments in my sister's will. She will sit on the throne."

"What about you?" -he had closed the distance between them but Bäahal remained stiff.-

"I will figure it out later...." was the only honest answer she could give before she left the rooftop and escaped from Lore Varys inquisitive look. 

The princess knew he was right. Deep down she didn't want to kill Lord Jaime and was anxious about meeting him on the battlefield. Deep Down she was full of sorrow because she knew he would die somehow. If miraculously the knight wasn't killed on the battlefield, he would die when Cersei would. She would lose the Jaime she once knew and it was inevitable. Unfortunately, Lord Varys was right about war changing her. Her emotions were buried for she realized they were a liability. And while her heart was weeping for her future loss and the frustration of such a waste of talent and life, her body was closed off, her face didn't show anything, she succeeded in following Jaime's last piece of advice and protect her heart. 

But at what cost? 

-TBC-

GOT: Bäahal The chosen one.

A/ N: Musing around. If Bäahal existed prior to Jon's company rescue by Daenerys, I think she would have bonded with Viserion before his death. I wanted to write the moment these two would bond and add a little Varys to the mix too.

Xxxxxx

«Have you decided to follow my every move, Lord Varys? » -Bäahal's voice sounded distant due to the strong coastal winds that were blowing in her face.-

« I wouldn't think of that, your grace. » He said with a nod.

She was walking before him at a fast pace, aimlessly wandering on the beach of Dragonstone. The bald master spy tried to talk to the princess ever since Tyrion outed her to the queen. He had figured out her real identity long before they left Mereen but he decided to keep the information until he could make a better use of it, that was before Daenerys warned him not to lie to her again or she would burn his body to a crisp. He then decided that he would convince Bäahal to tell the truth to the queen, so he would reap the benefits of her confession. Tyrion thwarted his plans and since it happened, the man couldn't find a minute to talk to the princess. Everything was spiraling out of control, between the loss of the Dornish fleet and the loss of Yara and her men, the visit of Jon Snow, that King of the North who greatly influenced the queen, Varys was losing control.

He might have been shady, he still believed in the queen and still wanted to help her achieve her goal. He wanted Daenerys to sit on the throne and took it upon himself to help advise her. Bäahal's presence was in itself, an anomaly but he wanted to transform it into an asset. Daenerys had a family, she wasn't alone anymore and Bäahal could become a strength rather than a liability. Tyrion couldn't see it just now because he didn't get along with the princess, but Varys did. That was the reason that had him follow Bäahal on the beach with the intention to talk to her and know where her mind was. She was still closed off and he only knew it because he eavesdropped on a conversation Misssandei had with another handmaiden. In order to help the princess open up to the queen, he decided that the best way was to convince her to sit down and talk. She didn't seem to want to talk today but he still had to give it a try.

« It would be out of character. You have eyes everywhere, surely you would have eyes on me too. » She stopped walking when she reached the end of the beach and faced the caves Jon and his men were mining. « The real question is, what is it that you want? »

«An honest conversation with you, your grace. »

« Bäahal is enough. » She dryly said. She wasn't at ease with being called your grace or princess just yet and he could see how tense she became as soon as he said the words. She would have to get used to it very soon because now that she had been acknowledged as a Targaryen, the name and title that came with it couldn't be taken away.

« You know it isn't. You are the queen's sister and I shall address you as such. »

«An honest conversation you said? » -Bäahal cut him short, her purple eyes traveled from the stones to the sky where her sister's dragons were flying.- An honest conversation about what, Lord Varys? You already know my background. Surely you've heard the stories about me. » She furrowed her silver brows. « What else is there to talk about? Unless you want to talk about the queen. »

« I wanted to talk about you. We know you're loyal to the queen, and so I am. I am not sure you have talked about your feelings. After all, the explosive truth came to light a few weeks ago. »

He wasn't certain she would answer him, her body language suggested something different. Bäahal wasn't receptive to his words, but she wasn't hostile either, so a quiet nod let him know she was not rejecting him altogether. He waited patiently, his hands protected by his tunic as he watched the dragons in the sky dance and squeal. Or it sounded like they squealed but they were in fact, talking. Her eyes lit up at the sight of Viserion, the least intimidating one. Drogon was massive, bigger than his brothers and unpredictable like his mother. Rhaegal was quiet, balanced but Viserion...He was feisty, fierce and a force to reckon with. He wasn't as massive as Drogon in size, nor as lethal as Rhaegal could have been but he was right there, resilient, eager and curious. Her eyes locked on the dragon she observed in silence.

« It should have been my decision. Lord Tyrion took it away from me when he outed me to the queen. It should have been me. »

Her voice was deep, deeper than usual and her eyes glowed briefly. Her anger was under the surface, under her control which had her behave almost coldly and seemingly detached than usual. It was a tranquil fury, an anger that boiled under the surface and waited for the right moment to blow in the face of the unfortunate target. He knew it all too well and it made Varys swallow a lump.

« I know. He simply did his duty as the hand of the queen. You couldn't expect him to remain quiet and withdraw this information from the one he serves. »

« I wasn't asking him to do that. I was asking him to give me some space so I could come out on my own terms... » She sighed. « What's done is done, I can't afford to dwell on it. »

« And yet, you're angry. » He pointed out.

She didn't answer him, her purple eyes were focused on dragons landing on the beach, one after the other. They were huge and intimidating, even when they were at peace. Bäahal had always been fascinated by the stories her mother told her about her father's lineage. Dragon riders, conquerors and famous or disgraced kings and queens. The little girl didn't care about the people, for men and women were flawed by nature. Dragons, on the other hand, were majestic creatures that were far above mankind's trivial concepts of right and wrong. She daydreamed of dragons, imagined herself riding one of them and lay waste on her masters. Dragons would have set her free, they would have saved her mother and she would ride them to the sunset. Ironically, or maybe extraordinarily, it happened.

Daenerys came, like a goddess, and her dragons burned in flames the former masters. Her dreams became real, the dragons were real. Varys watched as she walked towards the dragons who were now laying down on the sand. He followed closely behind her until she stood in front of the three beasts. While he wouldn't dare move closer -Varys wasn't comfortable near the dragons- She seemed transfixed by the sight before her. Drogon shrieked and his nostrils flared as a warning but she didn't flinch. Instead, she remained stoic in front of them, unafraid but intimidated. Rhaegal's tail hit against the sand and his nostrils flared too but she swallowed a lump and remained straight in her boots.

« Fascinating aren't they? » -Varys tried to reach out to her. His words elicited a gasp from the princess who nodded quietly.-

« I was just a little girl when mother would tell me stories about my father's family. I would hear stories of conquest and revenge. Stories of powerful men and women who gave in to their lust for power and control. I never cared for the Kings or the queens. They were flawed, deeply flawed. They didn't care for people like me. They would own slaves like my masters did and if they didn't own them, they didn't see a problem with slavery. I hated the royals but I loved the dragons. » She lifted her head and stood tall when Viserion sniffed the air and moved towards her.

« I do not blame you. Where I come from, dragons were stories parents told their children to make them behave. They always had this mysterious aura for children like me, both saviors and executioners. They were to be feared. »

« I never feared dragons. » Bäahal replied, her tone changing from dry to warm and rich. « They were my friends. I never did believe I'd see one in my lifetime but here we are, with three dragons in front of us. »

Drogon's tail moved to give a path to Viserion as he crawled towards the tiny silver-haired princess. All three dragons were now staring at the small lady and the bald man. They could care less about Varys, so far, he hasn't been a direct threat to their mother so they tolerated him. The other woman, however, they smelled something different about her. Something familiar. She wasn't their mother, but the scent carried something they knew of. Viserion was the most curious about this newcomer. He would test her and determine if he wanted to respect her or if she wasn't worthy of standing near them. She didn't flinch, she didn't run away, which intrigued the beast. He put his head only inches away from Bäahal whose piercing purple eyes stared straight into the creature. Viserion sniffed the air and opened its maw, shrieking at her face to see what her reaction would be. She didn't flinch either, instead, her hand simply patted the creature's nostrils and she stroked the side of his jaw. Taken aback, Viserion pulled its head away from her grip, causing her to furrow her brows.

« I won't hurt you. »

She whispered gently, offering her hand for another gentle petting. Viserion shrieked again and stood on its legs. He spread his wings and started to flap them, creating powerful winds around him that blew onto the woman. Her silver hair whipped her face and Varys'. Her body struggled to stand still, so much so that he made her take a few steps back but she walked towards Viserion again. He shrieked louder, making her snarl at the piercing sound of its voice, but she outstretched her hand again. Her body was calm and her presence soothing. She was in complete control of the situation and it became clear to Varys that she was a rough and wild diamond that needed to be cut and polished. She was fierce and rough, but she was strong. He could see in the way the dragon moved its head and leaned into her touch that she had accomplished something rare. Did she have the dragon blood too? Was she a dragon rider, like Daenerys was? She stroked Viserion's jaw with her hand and quietly brought her other hand so she could stroke his face with both. He couldn't hear it, but Bäahal kept repeating good boy to the dragon while she petted him, making him relax under her touch and lean onto the sand like before.

« It seems that you are a natural. » Varys said, carefully walking closer to the princess who kept petting the huge beast. He noticed she was shivering, not of fear but of excitement.

« It seems so. I have always dreamed of touching a dragon, of riding them while we burned the old masters of Mereen. They were my friends, Lord Varys. They were my escape pod. When my sister came and set us free, it felt like one of my dreams. The mother of dragons granted me my wish... How could I not be loyal to her? » Her voice was softer than before, almost as if she was at peace now that Viserion had chosen her. « And now...now I was chosen by one of them. » Her eyes were sparkling with excitement and pride. She released Viserion's head and took a few steps back. « He chose me. »

« It seems so. » Varys said, his tone warmer than he intended it to be. « Princess, I believe we haven't talked since we landed at Dragonspit. »

« What is there for us to talk about, Lord Varys? » She asked, turning around so she could face the man. The winds were more violent, blowing so hard and in the opposite direction, making her hair fly the other way.

«You. We have to talk about you. Ever since we met it has always been about others. Other people wishes, other people dreams, other people feelings. You do feel, and even if you want to conceal those emotions, they exist. I know you're not comfortable discussing yourself but... »

« You're right. I do not want to do that. I am practical Lord Varys. I am... » -Afraid.-

It was the right word. Bäahal wasn't used to express her feelings, let alone allow anyone except maybe for Missandei, know how she truly felt about anything. If it wasn't the years of conditioning, it certainly was because she vowed to never be vulnerable again. Viserion made a sound, she couldn't describe it, but he was reacting to her emotions. He was agitated all of a sudden and quietly put his head near Bäahal's hand so she could feel protected. It was simple, but it worked. She glanced at him and softly smiled at the dragon before she looked at the bald man before her.

« I know you're concerned about me. you're concerned about all I could do or fail to do for the crown or my name. I can't tell you much, but I can admit that I am still not comfortable with the fact I do have some last name and I belong to House Targaryen now. reconciling my past with my name is difficult for me, but she's worth trying. She's willing to let me in and I would be a fool to deny us the right to find a family in each other. I will learn how to...I just need time. Allow me to have some. »

« You don't need my permission princess. »

Varys said, looking at her with relief and some sort of compassion. She made a huge step towards him, allowing him to know how troubled she felt and giving him a chance at doing something about it.

And he would be a fool not to take the opportunity.

-TBC-