DOYA: in the dark of our room.

"Do you remember their voices?"

Oya's voice broke the silence that had settled in their motel room. She couldn't sleep and had been twisting and turning on their bed for a while before she decided that it would be best if she stayed awake a little longer. She pulled the sheets off of her and shifted on the bed so she could lie her feet flat on the floor.  Her hair was cascading down her back and spilled a bit around her waist and lap. Dean was not sleeping; as a matter of fact, he only kept his eyes shut for a while to get some rest, but was never able to fall into a deep sleep. So he turned on the light and rolled on his side to look at his wife's back. What was she talking about? It was too vague for him to answer, as she could be referring to anyone, dead or alive. This job was one of the most ungrateful ones. It was thankless, restless, and never-ending. Hunters died left and right. Family.... Maybe she was referring to family.  He cleared his throat and answered Oya's question.

"Whose voice, O?" - That sounded like the most sensible thing to say at the moment, so he said it.-

"Your parents'.  Do you remember what your parents sounded like? I have been dreading this day for years, and it's finally happened, babe. I no longer remember the voices of my parents. I don't know my brother's..." -She bit back a sob.-

Guilt. She was feeling guilty, and he could tell because it was lacing her voice and strangling it. Dean was familiar with this feeling, maybe so much so that it became a second skin to him. Every decision he made, from sacrificing himself to save his brother to sacrificing himself to save the world, was made because of guilt. It fueled his heart during fights, motivated him to go above and beyond to repay a cosmic debt he believed he owed the universe. He didn't save his mother. He didn't save his father.  He didn't save Charlie. He didn't even save his own brother from being possessed by the devil. The world? Well, that he managed to save, and more than once at that! But the people he loved? Those he cared about? No. These people died gruesome deaths either because they wanted to save him or because he didn't arrive on time to stop it. Guilt was nothing but a life companion at this point, so he could recognize it in others. He could see it in Oya. 

She lost her family to a monster she failed to recognize and kill. She told him that he possessed the body of her brother, and she was unable to detect its presence until it was too late, and it killed her mother. That night, she lost both and her father followed suit when cancer took over him.  Her former fiancé, who remained a friend of the family after their breakup, also fell prey to a demon and died a couple of weeks later after that night. She had to kill him with her bare hands, a man she used to love and had known most of her life. Guilt had followed her since then, reminding Oya of how much of a failure she was for not noticing sooner. That thought somehow stayed at the back of her head since she met Dean and the two made a life together, but he knew that it came back. Her nightmares were focused on her family again. Her sleep was restless, and she was more irritated than usual. Dean also remembered that they were getting closer to the anniversary of their deaths, which, of course, opened old wounds in his wife's heart. 

"I... remember dad's voice, but only because he's been around for a long time in my life, and his voice is--- he taught Sammy and me how to be hunters. His life lessons are burned into my skull at this point. I can't forget it. Mom's voice.." -He cleared his throat and sat on the bed, his back leaning into the bed headrest- "Mom's voice I can't remember. She died when I was way too young. I don't remember what she sounds like. I can still see her face and her hair, but I don't...know anymore. I can't be sure. "

"Does that make you feel guilty not to remember her? I feel like I'm killing them twice..." -She admitted, her voice cracked and she put her face into her hands- "I feel like I'm an awful daughter for not remembering how they sounded... I'm.."

"Shhhhh... You know it's not true." He quickly moved and sat next to her. "Oya! Look at me." -She tentatively lifted her head so her hazel eyes could stare at Dean's green ones. His large hand cupped his wife's cheek, and he noticed it was wet from the tears she was crying- "Oya.. Hey.. You're not awful. I know that it happens... we tend to forget things, faces, voices.. It sucks but it happens." -He pressed a kiss to her forehead- "That doesn't mean you're awful for that. You always try to honor their memories. You still remember who they were as people. You still know who they were." -It elicited a sob from Oya, who gently leaned into his touch and put both hands around his wrist-

"I'm sorry, Dean. I know you were trying to sleep, but I wanted to pray to my parents and brother since their anniversary is getting closer. I wanted to remember their voices, but I got nothing." -She sobbed harder, her tears fell onto Dean's hand, and he looked at her with an intense gaze. How he hated to see Oya cry! How he hated to see her in pain and being unable to soothe it. 

"I know." -Was all he could say and repeat while he pulled her into a tight hug.- "You have nothing to apologise for. I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry." -He repeated while his left hand slid into her thick mane so he could pet it.-

Oya kept crying. She wrapped her arms around his waist so she could lean her cheek against his chest. She would have preferred to have a nightmare that night. At least they knew how to deal with them.  At least her body was used to it.  To be unable to remember a loved one was distressing to her, and he knew all too well that feeling. There was nothing to be done but to let her cry her soul out while he was petting her hair, in hopes it would bring her some comfort. The fact that he held onto him, crying on his chest, indicated that it was working. It was what she needed. It was the least he could do. Perhaps even the best in that circumstance, but at least he was here for her, and Oya knew it. Oya knew it! 

-TBC-

Trivia about our characters: Dean

  // It's for safekeeping. We never know what could disappear.  -it comes right from N's mouth-

Dean - God, what more could he want than what they already do together? Hunting. Spending time at the bunker. Oya watching him cook. I suppose now that they are married, maybe he would like to take a little trip. A non-hunting trip. A little honeymoon, so to speak. Something non-traditional, totally cheesy, very them. He would like that.

And Dean, for the record. If Oya wants to try that candle wax thing on him, you know her good boy is game.

Doya: Oya's greatest fear

One of Oya's greatest fears was to become so comfortable in her situation that she would stop being careful. She would gain too much confidence in their ability to survive the odds. She would become more reckless and with a blink of an eye, she would lose everything. In their line of work, they couldn't be careless. They had to be ready for the other shoe to drop. Joshua was too comfortable and he ended up crippled so severely that he couldn't go on the field anymore. Sarah was trying her best to keep her eyes peeled to protect her family but she was the one who warned Oya about being too comfortable. 

Yes, her kids and husband could notice supernatural creatures. Yes, they could defend themselves now after an intense training. Yes she felt relieved in knowing they wouldn't be helpless against  the monsters they might encounter but still... still.. She found herself feeling too comfortable at times and that was where they were the most vulnerable. Oya was no exception to the rule. She had to be careful at all times if she didn't want to lose her family. 

The honeymoon -not the official name of Dean and Oya's little getaway trip- was making her feel comfortable. For a hot minute, she forgot that they weren't 100% safe from an attack. She forgot that they would have to wake up and work every single day of their lives until their demise. Yet, it felt good to be able to wake up and go on about their business as if there was no danger lurking in the darkness. It felt good to have simple desires, to wake up and enjoy the day as if they weren't one bloodbath away. She enjoyed to be pain-free for a couple days, a luxury for hunters. A luxury for her. A comfortable life where the only worry she had was to cuddle her husband. Still... Deep down, she couldn't fully relax. She couldn't truly ignore the truth of the world and the supernatural surrounding them. But what if she did?

Doya: '"I would still be by your side."

It could be the end of the world for all I know, but I would still be by your side. We don't like the holidays, you and I because they remind us of what we've lost. These days, I realized that I didn't remember the faces and voices of my loved ones. I don't panic anymore, and I don't feel guilty either because I know that it happens. The memories are still vivid despite the missing details and I guess that it's better than nothing. Still, we don't like the holidays, we don't celebrate. Yet, you know I love them still and you manage to give me the best presents ever: your presence, your partnership, your love and a great case to work.  what more could I ask for?

Doya: still kicking ass!

“Well. Am I still an ass kicking-machine? Yes, I am! Am I being cheesy because I am now Mrs. Winchester? Guilty as charged! I love the new name. Very much so. I love being 40 as well. I am Carefree and I certainly don’t give two shits about anyone else’s opinion. 

Our lives have not changed. We still hunt. We still save people and we do it together but today, I can sit back and enjoy the life we made for ourselves. A messy life, filled with good, bad, and ugly. A messy life, we don’t have to suffer alone but live together. A messy life I wouldn’t change for all the gold in the world because I share it with you. I found my home in you and that’s all that matters to me. that you are happy and safe and so are the other two members of Team Free Will. Our family.”

DOYA: Lost without you

Doya: Lost without you

I love those moments of silence when there's nothing but the steady sound of our breathing and the quiet pace of our heartbeats. I love it when you hold me, with your chin resting on top of my head and your arms wrapped around my back. I love it most when we can fall asleep in each other's arms. I cherish those moments Dean, when peace finally, enters my soul and I can stop and breathe. We've said it several times already, our job is ungrateful and Death certainly awaits for both of us to come to greet them. I could be gone tomorrow, or you could get killed for all I know... our lives are short-lived, always hanging in the balance. However, I am now enjoying mine to the fullest, mostly because I know you're in this life, riding with me.

Sarah used to ask me, a lifetime ago if I was happy with you. She was convinced that the white-picket-fences life she chose would suit me. The American pie type of life, married with kids and pets in a home with white picket fences. I always told her that I was fine with the life I was leading with you. You are my apple pie, this life is my apple pie. Hunting monster, saving people that's our family motto. I guess after five years I am legitimate to consider myself a Winchester too, right? Maybe I'm not vocal enough, but I appreciated you coming to me when I was feeling blue. I was so distraught about forgetting my father's voice but you found a way to comfort me, as you always do. Dean, do you know how much I appreciate this?

I sincerely think I would be lost without you. How could I go on with my life, after I met you, Dean Winchester? How could I ever want to let someone else into my heart? The thought crossed my mind just a minute ago, and for a minute, I saw things with a clarity I never had before. Truth is, it had been a long time already since I decided to leave my bags at your door because I chose you to become my home. You are my home, my present, and my future Dean Winchester, and I hope, I pray, to have many years by your side and to have us live a satisfying life. I'm ready to go wherever you go until I die. Ah.. that's a cheesy line, but there again, I am cheesy...

Doya: By the sea

Doya: By the sea

A/N: Just a lovely moment between Oya and Dean, by the sea and with beers. Still during the Thomas” case.

XXXX

“I like the sound of the ocean...I don't like the beach, but I like the sound of the ocean. Is it weird?” -Oya asked as she sat on a bench with a beer in her hand-

“Not at all.” -Dean replied as he stood in front of her, his beer in his hand.- “I don't really like the ocean, as a matter of fact, I hate the beach too, but I get that you like the sound of the waves crashing on the shores.” He raised his beer and drank to that.-

“Yeah... I guess the human mind is really weird..” -She chuckled and chugged some beer.- “Dean, have you ever wanted another life? Something different from what you have now?” She asked, with both arms laid on her legs.

“I have...I even experienced it but it wasn't for me. Have you?” -She shrugged. She knew he was talking about his time with Lisa and her son. Yes, he had tried the apple pie kind of life and it didn't work for him. He was meant to be a hunter after all.-

“I haven't...I have?” She scratched the back of her head. “In my country, we were who we were, it wasn't a big deal. I see it now, that we were more tools than actually accepted by our people, but at least we could have families, strong communities... we were still somehow valued and seen...I was engaged.” She furrowed her brows. “And for a while, I thought I had it all. I thought I had it good, you know? Engaged, maybe even a mother very soon, happy... but it was all an illusion. As soon as I wasn't useful to Fabrice, he just dumped me... my community crumbled, my family was slaughtered. I couldn't have the apple pie life I wanted.. it wasn't meant for me.”

She sighed and leaned her head back so she could chug some beer down. Her eyes quickly turned empty as she was wondering if it was what she wanted. Kids had always been something she wished she had someday, up until she drank that potion that made her barren. She knew she wouldn't be able to have any and gave up on this dream as soon as her mind was filled with revenge and guilt. Over time, the desire to procreate just vanished as she lived in the USA. A hunter's life here was crap, there was no sustainable future for a potential child there, and back in the days, there was even no one to share this dream with. So she gave up on kids.

She accommodated to her new situation, she even enjoyed her life as it was. Seeing Sarah and her family, listening to Joshua, and his desire to have his own family shook the hunter who questioned herself. Was she really okay with the life she was leading with Dean? He was a dad already, twice. He was not a “good” dad too...in his own words, he screwed up with his kids like he screwed up with plenty of people in his life. It wasn't meant for him. Would he try to do differently if given the choice? Oya believed he would. Would he try differently, if she became pregnant? She knew he would. But the question wasn't even in the air because she was unable to have children. A spell was a spell... consequences were permanent and she made her peace with it. Oya didn't want kids..anymore. She wasn't the same person she was a decade ago.

Dean gave her the life she wanted to live. A life with a solid partner, someone who would always be there with her. Someone who cared for her, someone who loved her. He was her family, alongside Sam and Castiel and she didn't need more to feel complete. Dean was there, always. He was there when she had nightmares, he was there when she needed comfort and he let her in when he needed some. He let her love him. He let her be in his life. Dean hunted with her, and by Chuck, Oya loved hunting. Hunting was akin to a sport for her. It was all about the style, the difficulty, the fighting techniques she was perfecting. It was about the least casualties possible and saving the most people as well. She didn't mind her scars -except for the one she got from the Asanbosam, she still had trouble with-, for they were a testimony of her hard dedication to her work. Being able to hunt with the best hunter that ever excited was a privilege and a chance for the woman, so why would she complain?

“..........You said you were happy with me.”

“And I mean it. I am. The apple pie kind of life, for me, is the life I am leading with you Dean. I thought, yeah, for a long time I thought that eventually, I would want to have kids or that maybe I wanted the white picket fences kind of life Sarah has... but I was wrong. I don't need any of this as long as I'm hunting with you. As long as I'm with you. I don't need more. I have a family who loves me, people who would go to hell and back if that was for me. I am with people I can sacrifice my life for...shit...” She looked at him and smiled a wet smile. “...I wouldn't want it any other way, okay?” She shrugged and drank her beer. “I have my dream life...this is my life, the apple pie life..” She added before he grinned at her and walked closer. He sat on the bench near Oya and patted his thigh so she could sit on his lap. She rolled her eyes but ended up sitting on his lap. Face turned towards the beautiful sea before their very eyes.

“ I guess that means you don't want another life than the one you have right now.” She gently poked his shoulder and nodded. “Ouch, how violent you are!”

“I didn't hurt you Dickhead! Quit crying.” She poked his shoulder again before she wrapped her arm around his neck and watched as he took a sip of his beer.

“Alright, Bitch, I won't protest.” -He chuckled and set his emerald eyes onto her hazel ones. Oya was beautiful right now, relaxed, happy and he could tell by her body language that she wasn't pretending. She felt good by his side, she felt right on his lap. He sighed and leaned his head against her chest, burying his face in her bosom while she let her hand run over his dirty blonde hair. “Why did you ask that question?”

“I wanted to know if you were happy with me. I felt that maybe I wasn't offering you what you needed.” She started before she planted a kiss on top of his head. “ I just wanted to make sure you knew you had a home in me too... You have somewhere to return to, someone to come home to...I want to be sure that you know that Dean...You're not alone anymore, you never will from now..” She said as she planted another kiss to his forehead while he wrapped his arm tighter around her waist.

“I'm aware of that. I know...You always make sure I feel home with you;”

He added, clearing his throat as he didn't know how to channel his emotions. As a matter of fact, the Winchester realized that Oya simply needed to be reassured. He wasn't excellent at calming nerves, but he would still give it a try. She was giving him more than he wanted, more than he could ever ask. She was giving him the freedom to be himself, and she was giving him the ability to not have to choose between love and work. With Oya things were easy, the easiest they've ever been. With Oya, things just went smoothly and he didn't need to compromise himself, or the life he was leading. He didn't need to pretend. He didn't need to hide. With Oya..; he simply was. She was giving him the comfort of knowing he was loved and no matter what happened, she wasn't leaving. She chose him, and very often let him know that she did, but he realized he wasn't saying it enough. Dean was a man of actions, not a man of words, but from time to time, he acknowledged, that saying a little something was actually more helpful than not. He gently let his hand move from her waist to her back and then lost a few fingers into her thick black curly mane. He massaged her scalp and leaned his head better against her chest.

“Oya, Nzi Mulenge.. please, forgive me if I fucked up your name... O... You're giving me more than I could ever ask for. You've been in our lives, five years now? It's the longest someone ever stayed with me... the longest, and the best..” He cleared his throat and looked up to her face. “I don't want more because I don't need more. I have the best already with me.” He gave her an earnest smile and leaned his chin against her chest. “I have the best there is and ever will...I can't express how much..how happ—happy I am with you. But it's there and I beg of you, O, to look at all the things I do that I can't say. I'm here... I'm here with you.” He managed to say before he leaned his head back against her chest. “Always... and forever.” He ended his sentence and watched as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gently sobbed against him.

“Forever and always...” Was all she could whisper before her sobs took over and she just cuddled with him. She felt relieved, he could tell by the sigh she let out, but she also was happy by the confirmation that he had what he needed and she was making him happy. It was all the hunter needed to feel okay. She needed to know so he said something, by the sea.

-TBC-

SoA: love is in the air

(SoA)

"They say that the first ray of sunshine would pierce through the darkness of Winter; Spring is supposed to make you reconsider your life, start fresh, as Motherfucking nature does. Spring is supposed to have you reinvent yourself and that made me think. Have I really changed? Sure, I am sober now, for 4 years straight, I have been. Yet, I still feel like the woman I was eons ago. The one who knew Oscar, the one who lost her parents, the one who learned her brother was killed from broadcasted news. I am still afraid because I know I have something to lose again; I have a new family, made of people who could disappear just like that, like a snap of a finger. I have turned on a new leaf, learned how to protect myself, and I speak my mind again fearlessly... and yet... yet, I'm still afraid. So.. How does Spring works for us? Do we really change like the weather? do we grow? Do we shed the past like one caterpillar sheds its husk and becomes a butterfly? Do we really become something else? or are we deluding ourselves into thinking we became better,? I don't know... But it's spring baby and where there's the sun, there is life and this is what I'm doing. I'm still, living."

DOYA: A moment in time.

DOYA: A moment in time. 

A/N : This takes place before the Thomas case. I was just thinking about these two, I'm listening to this song :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yERildSsWxM

XXXX

Men of Letters Bunker, Dean and Oya's room.

Oya felt Dean's large hand gently stroke her leg. She was laying on her back, her thick black locks were crowning her face and she was staring at the ceiling. Her fingers gently held onto the sheets of the bed as she felt the gentle touch of the hunter. She rolled her eyes as he started to massage her calf, gently holding it with his strong hand. He knew she was cranky ever since she returned from her last case. Oya had tried to find a moment to relax. A soft chuckle escaped from her lips and she felt her phone Viber. That was a text. A quick glance at it and she read the name on it. Sarah Thomas. Of course, it would be Sarah. She wanted to hear news from her « sister » and that brought a smile on Oya's lips. The ebony hunter answered her and dropped her phone onto her belly. Since they rekindled their relationship, Sarah quickly became the female friend, Oya needed in her life. The former hunter who quit and started a normal human family. While this life wasn't appealing to the hunter, it still felt good to know that those she cared about were able to live the life they had always wanted. Sarah was also a foil for her. She knew how lonely the hunter life was, how dangerous and experienced first hand how damaging this life could be and still decided to opt-out.

Would Oya be able to leave everything for the sake of a happier life? As Dean kept vigorously unknotting her calf, the thought crossed her mind. For Dean ? Oya was ready to do anything., but the happier life? There lied the difference between her and Sarah. For Oya, her life as it was right now was the best life she could ever want. She didn't want anything else, but to go on hunts with Dean, find monsters, save lives, and laugh with her family. She moaned softly as ran her fingers into her big locks and massaged her scalp with the tip of her fingers. Dean was taking good care of her, enjoying the soft pleasured groans and watched as she gently wiggled her free leg. He chuckled and pulled her leg on the other side of his thighs, so she could sit in between his legs. He wrapped one powerful arm around her waist and gently pulled her towards him, so they would be looking at each other and lean their forehead against the other. Her hazel eyes stared at him and she cupped both his cheeks. Dean smiled at her and gently nibbled on her neck.

« Did you like that little massage? » -She nodded.- « Oh yeah? Was it that good? »

« It was terrific. » She whispered before she planted a kiss on his lips. « It was all I ever needed. » She bit her bottom lip and felt him dig his fingers into her waist. Her hands found their way on the back of his neck and into his thick blonde mane. « I like being here.. I like it, right now. » She indicated, her voice softly shaking. Oya wasn't the kind to be so very openly sappy. But there were times when she would let her heart speak and this was one of these times. He heard the sob in her voice and pulled away just so he could look at her straight in her eyes. Her features were soft and her eyes wet with unshed tears.

« Hey...what's wrong? »

« Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I just feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I feel lucky to be here, at this moment, with you. I feel lucky to be alive today. » She said, biting her lips.  « It's one more day on this fucking planet that I get to spend with you and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, but here. »

He let his fingers hold a fist of her hair and pressed his lips to hers. He knew what she meant, he could feel the love she felt for him and he could feel how intensely she loved him. He was grateful -and felt lucky himself- to have someone who was willing to love him and love his all. She never judged him, never tried to change him, never tried to make him feel guilty for his past choices, including the bad ones. Dean had already suffered, he already beat himself up, he already hated himself for her to be adding to it. She herself, was going through the very same, for different reasons, so she understood him. He never felt that connection with someone else, a connection so deep he was afraid to lose it. He watched as she ended up crying, unable to contain her emotions.

« I'm the lucky one, O. I'm the lucky son of a gun, right here. Right now. » He pressed another kiss to her lips, a little more demanding than the previous one. « I love moments like these when there is nothing in the world between the two of us. When there is just calm and me massaging your calf and us just enjoying each other's company. I like it when silences are comfortable. I like it best when you're here. » He said, stroking her cheeks and the tears off of her skin. « I'm the lucky one, who gets to enjoy this very moment with you. I wouldn't want to enjoy it with anyone else,» he added, always letting her know that he shared her feelings.

« Would you look at that? I'm crying rivers now... » Oya complained, with a light chuckle. She leaned into his hand as he cupped her cheek and gently pressed her lips to his palm.

« Well, at least it shows you have a heart. » He teased her before he leaned his forehead against her forehead. « It's okay. » He quietly said, while his other hand kept massaging her scalp. « You're home. »

« I am... I am. Home. » Oya smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

(TBC)

Doya -this is everything-

// All the usual disclaimers


I've always believed that the life we lead as hunters was a lonely life. My life used to be lonely, it used to be made of battles and deep wounds. It used to be made of grief and loss. I lost my whole family... I lost someone I was deeply in love with. I decided that since this life was unforgiving, the only good thing I could do was to give in. I remembered when we met, how hellbent I was on going on that hunt on my own. I remembered how difficult it was for me to settle in with you. I remembered how scared I was to get attached to all of you.

But I did get attached. I did find my place, and little by little, hunting became less lonely. I rooted myself with this family, I became a part of it. I trusted you, Today, when I look at us, I now see that this life doesn't have to be lonely. it doesn't have to be when I have you, Sam and Castiel with me. It doesn't have to be when we're together, Dean. it never is. We're stronger when we're together, you and I, stronger than I could ever be on my own. I look back at all we faced together, the fights, the wounds, the tears... I look at my scars, I look at yours, I look at your face at night and I relish in the comfort of your arms around my frame. Are we still plagued with nightmares? yes, we are. Are we still worried about tomorrow.. yes we are. but we do have each other and this, this is everything...

This is everything.

Doya : Gifts

Doya : Gifts 

Oya ran her hand through her thick black locks and twirled some around her forefinger. She was sitting on the chair and was watching Dean unpack a couple of weapons he brought back from her arms dealer. She tilted her head to the side and watched him slowly pulled the set of knives off of the briefcase he carried back to the bunker. She smiled at the sheer size of these, the blades were thick, as thick as a butcher's knife and she was wondering what use she could make of these. Her arms dealer knew her taste, and he knew she was more into knives than guns. The last time she went to him, she asked for homemade knives she could use against enemies with thicker skin. Could that be it? Dean grinned and examined the two beautiful blades carefully before he handed one to Oya.

« This one is for you. »

« I love Alfredo! He always knows what I'm looking for!  Give me those babies! » She said as she grabbed the knives and started to look at them.

« He also said you got a gun for me? A custom gun? » He asked while checking the briefcase and finding the said gun in the middle of it. Oya nodded and then looked up to his face.

« I've been thinking of this design for a while now. I wanted a weapon that could be easy to handle, not too big and yet still powerful. He managed to work a gun that is lighter than a magnum but as powerful as a magnum. »

« Power and manageability uh? » He grabbed the gun and started to look at it. It was lighter than an actual magnum, easy to play with, comfortable in the hand. Dean was genuinely surprised and twirled the empty gun in his hand before he lifted a brow. « How about the ammo? »

« It has its own ammo but magnums can work too. » She said, still staring at her knives. He enjoyed when Oya was focused on a weapon. Her hazel eyes lit up as she was talking about them, thinking of making easier weapons to work with or special weapons for special monsters they could hunt.

She met Alfredo when she arrived a couple years ago. He instantly recognized a mind as creative as his own and they started to work together. They made several knives for her and a few guns she was still using to this day but most of the time, he was her ammo supplier and the one to repair the guns her father gave her on his deathbed. They were close enough for her to just order an item with a few words and he would know if it was for her or for someone else, like the gun she ordered for Dean. He would often ask how she was doing and would always offer a piece of advice. Dean grinned as he inspected the gun and pointed it at the wall.

« I asked him to make it for you. Given the monsters we've been hunting lately, it was about time you upgraded your gear. » She teased him with a smile and put the knife on the table. How does it feel? » She asked as she stood up and walked closer to him. Dean grinned, still engrossed by the gun he was holding.

« It's awesome ! » -he watched as her short frame was standing in front of him and put the gun away so he could wrap his arms around her waist. « Thank you for this. »

« Don't mention it, Kid. » She chuckled and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pecked his lips and grinned. « I'm glad you like the Gun. I think that there is something else in the briefcase. »

« What makes you think that? » He asked bemused, with a smirk on his lips as he pressed his lips to hers firmly.

« You would have put the briefcase on the table instead of at your feet. So you're either hiding something from me OR... you're keeping the best for the end. Which is which? » She lifted a brow and grinned at Dean who had her sit on his lap.

« Close your eyes. » -It was a surprise. Oya's face lit up as she didn't expect there would be a surprise for her. She expected Alfredo to have manufactured something for her and eventually, he had told Dean about it so she shut her eyes tight put her hands on her face to prevent herself from cheating. She heard the sound of the briefcase being placed on the table and the click of it being open. « Now open your eyes. » -He gently commanded, making the hunter open her eyes.-

There was a knife, engraved with Oya's full name and a date. She furrrowed her brows and let her fingers run over the engraved words. The date meant something to them, but she didn't remember just yet. Cussing at herself for her bad memory, Oya grabbed the pocket knife and gently manipulated it. Just as she paid attention to the delicate design of the handle, it suddenly hit her. The date was the date she met Dean for the first time. It was a simple gift, but one that brought tears to her eyes.

« Dean...... I just... » She looked at him and pressed her lips to his before she turned around and played with her knife. It was easy to manipulate, the blade could withdraw within the knife and it was reinforced. Perfect for close combat and emergencies. There also was a set for it to be a necklace and she ended up crying a single tear. « Fuck... »

« It's a bitchin gift isn't it? » Dean said, chuckling as he wiped the tear-off of her face. « Come on. It's not as good as your ugly aprons. »

« You hate those aprons. » she chuckled and nodded at him. « It's a bitchin' gift! Thank you. »

« Always. A bitchin' gift for my favorite bitch. » He teased her, using their nicknames in an endearing way.

« A  bitchin' gift from my favorite dickhead. » she replied, pressing another urgent kiss to his lips.

A bitchin' gift indeed.

Doya: Anchoring

Doya: Anchoring

Anchoring: verb. To attach something or somebody to something else. 

Oya ran her fingers into Dean's scalp. He was laying on his back, his head rested on her lap. A moment of silence settled between the two of them for a minute as both felt they didn't need to add anything to the conversation they previously had. The silence felt good and comfortable. Her fingers on his scalp were comforting him, detangling any tension he might have had. 

They were talking about them, and how Oya's mom would have loved him. Dean considered her words with a smirk on his face. Moms. The touchy topic none of them talked about because it opened a can of worms. Moms.... she thought about introducing him to hers. That meant she had serious feelings about him. Full stop! No further analysis. Especially since he realized the thought crossed his own mind. Mary would have loved Oya. She would be grateful that the young woman wanted to take care of her stubborn so. She would find Oya strong and charming, cute and funny and.... full stop! Dean always forced himself to stop his mind from Wandering too far away from

Reality. The memories were painful because no matter how much he wished she was still alive, Mary was dead. Mary would never come back and he would never introduce Oya to his mom.  It hurt him, the happy thoughts and realization of what he lost. Hence the silence that settled there. Hence Oya's fingers in his hair.  Hence her own shaky voice as she mentioned her mom.

It hurt her too...

Dean was her anchor to this world. He quickly became, along with Sam and Castiel, the motivations she needed to keep going. She came home to them. She came home for them and when she was with Dean, she felt better. She felt at home. She felt right. Did he know? He couldn't possibly ignore how important he was to her. Not when she was soothing him with her humming and her fingers on his scalp. Did she know? How could she ignore how important she was to him? He never showed how vulnerable he was, not even to Sam and yet with Oya, it naturally came to him. He could let her understand that he wasn't feeling good and needed her without words. He could show how deeply impacted he was on a hunt that turned wrong or a friend who died on the job. He could be himself with her and he woke up feeling lucky she didn't decide to leave him. Oya was his anchor to this world, as simple as that and he wouldn't let go of her. Not now, not ever. 

Doya : Dance like no one is watching.

Doya : Dance like no one is watching.

A/N : I love you <3

xxxxx

The last two weeks were hard on them: innocent people they couldn't save, monsters they shouldn't have killed, Castiel who once again was having troubles with his fellow angels and Sam who was bitter. The war room was filled with negative energy as all of them were cranky and sour. Oya was rubbing the back of her neck, her eyes were tired of reading the news so she stood up. She stood up and ran to the bedroom she shared with Dean. He barely noticed she was gone, for he was focused on searching another case, anything that could take his full attention. She quietly came back to the war room with speakers in her hand. Dean lifted his head from the papers and watched as she plugged the speakers to her phone, put them on the table and pressed play on the playlist on her phone.

« What are you,,,, » He couldn't finish his sentence as the first notes of ' Eyes of the tiger' hit and he watched as Oya started to dance silly.

« Come on. All of you! Enough of the sad faces and the cranky mood. We're going to dance! »

« I don't want to dance. » -Sam replied, with his palm holding onto his face.-

« You will dance. Come on. I am as cranky as all of ya'll. I am as angry as all of ya'll, but we can't keep going like that. » She said as she started to jump and let loose.

Dancing had always been a way for the hunter to relieve herself. For a minute, her mind would be in synch with the music, focused only on feeling the lyrics or enjoying the tune. It worked better when there was a lot of bass in the song but Eye of the Tiger had that energy about it that worked well too. She jumped around, air guitared and shook her head as the song came out, her voice rocked on and it was enough to catch the boys attention. Maybe she was right? Maybe dancing and singing could actually make them feel a little better? What else was there to do anyway? They were mopping around, literally blaming themselves for all the failures of the last two weeks. Oya was chuckling to herself and visibly, it seemed to be working since she was one of the crankiest people in the war room just a minute ago.

Dean stood up and walked to Oya who was still shaking her head and air guitaring. He grinned and started to tap his foot on the floor. Then his head started to swing and in a matter of a minute, he too was headbanging and air guitaring. She smiled at him and moved her hand towards him so they would be dancing together. Sam and Castiel looked at them and noticed the smirk on Dean's face as he was finally giving into the song. Sam felt his foot tap against the floor and shrugged. Oya won, like always. She was right, after all, they needed a break, so he stood up and joined in. Castiel looked at the three of them having fun, dancing to the song carefree and awkwardly and he decided to join. He didn't care about music, he didn't even care about dancing but he wanted to be with them. So he danced. He awkwardly moved his body, encouraged by a pumped up Oya who came closer to dance with him. They were having fun and for the first time in a couple of weeks, they weren't mopping around anymore. It down on Dean, that Oya was truly something different. To have her help change their mood like that was something very few people were able to do. Bobby would scold them, Charlie would take them to an adventure and Oya would make them dance and feel better about themselves.

She was giving each and every one of them some attention, was smiling at them and ended up hugging each and one of them until the song ended. She wrapped her arms around Dean's waist and looked up to his face. A smile crept on her lips and he bent forward to kiss her. Oya grinned and as she was catching her breath, the ebony hunter heavily breathed. It was a little nothing, something to help the mood get better but it was necessary. They needed to breathe and laugh and love and feel whole again. Her own mood improved as she was smiling again.

«See? We needed that break. » -She told Dean. As he wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

« I guess you were right. » He teased her with, a soft smirk playing on his lips.

« I am always right. We were defeated but we'll get back on our feet, okay? Dean, we'll work cases again and we'll save people this time. Sam...Sam, you gotta talk to us too. »

« I'm not sure you can help. » He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

« Are you kidding me? You've got that look on your face, a look we all had at least once. We're the best people you can talk to because we know what you've been through. We can help... we can listen... I can listen to you, so spill the tea whenever you are ready. We'll be there for you. » She stated before her eyes averted from Sam to Castiel.

« I'm not sure you can help me. »

« I'm sure we can. We always fuck up when we push the others away, so let's not do this. If we have to knock some sense into those sons of bitches, so would we. But together. »

«Yeah, she's right Cas. We'll do this together. » Dean repeated while his arms held tightly onto Oya.

« Together. » Sam repeated, with a faint smirk on his lips. She was right and that little dance they just shared lifted their spirits, at least, enough for them to pull their heads off of the gutter.

« Together. » Castiel claimed too.

While his face kept a stoic expression on, His heart was filled with sudden warmth. He wasn't alone and he wouldn't have to face this situation alone as he had planned at first. Oya and the Winchesters were with him and were willing to fight by his side. His fights with his siblings would eventually end and they would find a solution. He knew he still had to prove himself to them, mostly because they still had not moved on from the fact he forced angels to fall. He wouldn't be alone and it was all that mattered.

-TBC-

Doya: and then life came back

Doya: 

Her spell was wearing off. It only was a matter of hours until it completely stopped working. Oya had no clues as to when it would end but she could hear the werewolves gather around her hiding spot. They knew she was there but couldn't pinpoint which house she was hiding at... yet. It had Been days since she sent her text to Sam and Dean, secretly hoping that they would come to her rescue but they had not been. What was she thinking? The thrill of a good hunt took over her common sense and because she wanted to challenge herself, she fell into a death trap. Half the town was a werewolf pack. Different families living together in harmony and feeding off of the humans who either traveled through town or settled in. Always a random disappearance, always someone with little to no strings in the town so people would not notice they weren't in town. It all was perfect until one of them got sloppy and Oya sniffed a lead. She should had asked for help at the first hunch. Had she done that she wouldn't be in danger. But she didn't ask for

Helped ended up caught in a wildfire. 

One bullet, two bulllets.... six bullets. There were only six bullets left for a herd of 8 or more. Werewolves weren't easy to kill, a bullet could not be enough so she basically was waiting for her death. Sweet irony that this situation was. Oya didnt want to die. Not anymore. Not as long as Dean and Sam and Castiel

Would be alive. As she realized that she didn't welcome death as easily as before, Oya shook her head and leaned it against the counter she was sitting against. Six bullets left, a herd of werewolves waiting outside and a desire to live stronger than ever. That had to be a cruel joke from Life. Her lips trembled and her eyes were filled with unshed tears as she stared at her phone. She pulled her legs together and wrapped her arms around them. Her breathing became laboured, sharper than before and she could feel the last remain of control slip off of her hands. Shit! She was going to die here! Alone.. the idea had her so upset she hit the floor with her fist and muffled a sob, then another, then another.... she made small noises, mostly cries she was trying so hard to keep to herself but what was the point in hiding them? She was going to die so who cared about a breakdown? 

When finally she gave into her fears, Oya started to cry. shewas suffocating in this house, where her food supplies were almost over and the air was cold. What if Sam and Dean never came? What if

Crowley was in their way? What if an Angel was behind it all? What if they died on their way to her? What if they found her dead body? She was horrified by the eventuality Dean would have to discover her lifeless form. He already lost too much and he was going to lose her too. Fuck this! It couldn't happen... it shouldn't happen! Her body was shaking as flashes of Dean's face crept into her mind. His smirks, his doubting face, his pouts and his smiles were all coming to her mind as she remembered moments they had. He was the first face she saw after they rescued her, years ago. She remembered how excited she was when she took him To a date and gave him The necklace she sculpted for him. He never took it off, nor even once and she knew he was protected.... she remembered the first kiss they had and how right it felt, to her.  It made her smile of course, those sweet memories of them, arguing, saving each other and working together. 

It made her smile but it made her even sadder. She wanted more. She needed more than just the few years life gave her. It felt unfair, sudden, horrible.... she tried to bargain with Chuck, called his name in vain once her denial was gone. As he didn't answer, then came anger. She screamed at him, for being a coward, for abandoning his children and the people who counted on him, for creating angels who in turn terrorized mankind. She blamed him for everything that happened to Dean and Sam and Castiel, for the pain and misery that was birthed by him

And how horrible life was for the righteous. it felt ironic that after all those years seeking death, now that it was at her door, Oya wanted to live. But she knew it was the end and it took her a while to accept it. Slowly but surely, she put the remaining bullets in the chamber of her gun and once it was ready, Oya stood back up. She cleaned her face, chugged down the last bottle of beer available in the house and grabbed her knife. The spell wore off and all the werewolves finally located her and broke the door and windows as they attacked her. One last time, Oya, you would do this one last time so better go out like a champ. But in all this chaos, suddenly a voice called her name. And along with it, Hope came back. 

"Dean!" She yelled back, with gratitude and tears in her heart. "Dean! Sam! Right here!" And just like that, the sparkle turned into fire. 

Doya: are we ready ?

Doya: "Are we ready?"

(for some reason I can't put it in the album)

//💚💚

"Are we ready?"

She asked, climbing onto the bed of Dean's bedroom. -their bedroom if we were technical- Oya was sat on her heels and crossed her arms above her chest.

"Ready for what?"

Dean asked in a bemused tone. Oya had been trying to find a case they could work together but things became complicated when Sarah and Joshua Thomas asked for help. Dean Would have gone with Oya if Sam had not come up with a case they had to work together. So in a couple of months, they had not seen each other a lot.

Oya missed him. Dean knew. She had been clear about it on her numerous texts and videos. She enjoyed working solo but there was a moment she needed to come back home and be with him. Now seemed to be that moment and she was determined not to let it slip away from her. The petite hunter jumped a little on the mattress and crossed her arms tighter.

" for a case, Dickhead! I want to work a case with you! It has been long enough..." she pouted and patted the mattress.

"Ahaha Oya! Does that mean you are missing me?" He lifted a brow and flashed his famous grin that made her swallow hard.

"Maybe I am..." she jumped on the bed again "maybe I am not! It doesn't matter. We have to work together!"

"Doesn't sound like an emergency to me." He teased her and shrugged.

"Dickhead!" -She called out in a pout.-

"Bitch!" -he replied with a soft grin on his lips.-

"Dean! I am serious." She crawled towards him and wrapped her arms around his broad torso. "Are we going to look out for something tonight?"

"Aha... yes. Yes, we will. We can do it now if you want." He said while his arms wrapped around her torso and he planted his lips to her forehead.

"Good. Let me pick my tablet on the nightstand." She outstretched her hand and grabbed her tablet on the nightstand. He stroked her back and watched her check the news. For a while, she was scrolling down on the screen. "Dean?.."

"Mmmmhhhh???" He planted a kiss on her Forehead.

"I did miss you..... I wanted to hurry up and come home to you." She admitted in a soft voice, while her eyes were still staring at her screen.

"And you found me." He simply said, his lips pressed to her forehead.

"And I found you." She looked up so she could press her lips to his and close her eyes. "I will always find you, even if you go to Hell because of Crowley." She chuckled and nuzzled his face.

"You could be crazy like that." He chuckled and kept her close to his strong frame. "But it won't come to that."

"I hope so..." she trailed off and leaned her head back against his chest. "But for now... let's find a case to work on."

"Let's do that." He encouraged, squeezing her tighter than before.

we're not good with words (DOYA)

We're not really good with words, are we? I keep my feelings close to my heart, I whisper them to you when I think you're asleep, hints, bits, and pieces but never the full picture. It doesn't really matter because I know you know. You've always known, haven't you? from the moment you took me in and allowed me in your life, you always knew. I couldn't pinpoint exactly, how or when... but I know that the day I gave you that necklace, they existed.

We're not really good we words aren't we? You especially. It took me a while to get you, to understand you actually wanted me to stay in your life, to stop trying to run away from the Bunker, from you but once I got it, phew.. once I got it, I stayed. I knew.

We both know words can lie, most of them are lies anyway. You'd tell me you're fine but I will see you're not. I'd tell you I'm okay but you'll know I'm not. I cannot taint those feelings with words. I cannot believe yours if you told me. We've been deceived, used, abused even because we fell for sweet words so never again! never ever again. I don't need them, because you make me feel the way you do. You show me and I'm good with it. I'm good with you. There are days, yeah, it happens... I wonder if you understand how much I care for you? there are days I wonder if my actions and my presence in your life were enough.

I wonder if my hands in your hair, my lips to your neck, my heartbeat matching yours would be enough for you to understand. I wonder if you know how devastated I would be if you ever died, how all of my nightmares are about losing you, holding your dead body in my arms. How empty I would be if you ever left me... I wonder if you know or if I should say the words.

I think of it, but suddenly I forget when I feel your arms around my frame. I forget when you pull me against you as we go through our cases. I forget as you kiss me with all you have. I forget because I know you're giving me all of you, and I'm giving you all of me, And we're good....we're good because you make me happy.