The Pitt: The bachelor pad: first steps. WIP

//Adding a second chapter because I want to see them in their intimacy. For this chapter, I will only call Dr. Robby, Michael, and Dr. Okwuje-Mclane, Nana.//

The Pitt, end of shift:

Once his shift ended and they wrapped things up with the night shift, Dr. Robby waited for Dr. Okwuje-McLane to join him, and the two took a cab to his bachelor pad.  During the drive, Michael remained silent, unwilling to break the comfortable silence that had settled between them and the cab driver. He needed these moments of silence -which he usually filled with music in his AirPods-, out of his mind, out of his life. She needed to recharge her batteries and rest her voice for the whole duration of the trip. Silence felt good, and as she leaned her forehead against the car window for the whole trip, the young woman focused on how her shift went. 

It was exhausting, perhaps more since she had a meltdown. It made her realize that she was, after all, still traumatized by the slaughter of her family. She lost control of herself to the point that she lashed out at her colleagues and showcased so much anger that it made her bark at them. It made her bark at him! Nana chewed at her bottom lip and furrowed her brows until they arrived at his building. After the car dropped them off at his apartment building, they kept the comfortable silence between them, and she followed him to his floor. He grabbed his keys and, in a swift motion, the man opened the door of his place. 

"Well... Welcome to my man cave." - Michael joked and let her walk into his place before he closed the door behind them- 

"It looks like you." -She whispered while she removed her tennis shoes and placed them near the front door, right where Michael put his shoes. She then walked into his living room and placed her bag at the sofa's feet.-

"What is that supposed to mean?" -He inquired with a quirked brow. She chuckled and shook her hand as if to tell him not to take her words too seriously- "No, really, Nana, what do you mean by it looks like me?"

"It's dark and mysterious..." She grinned, stretched her arms, and sat on the sofa- "I'm joking. This is a bona fide bachelor's pad. I can see your vinyls... I can see your medical books, pictures on the wall, a guitar here, and some magazines on the table. I'm very sure your bedroom looks like a worse version of the living room." -She chuckled when she saw Michael close the distance between them and  sat on the sofa next to her.-

"Well, if you behave tonight, maybe you will be able to see my bedroom." -She took a fake outraged look on her face, and he chuckled- "Yes, miss ma'am, you've been put on notice, so you better behave tonight."  He rested his elbow on the sofa and tilted his head to the side. He thought to himself that he enjoyed her relaxed features, that it felt good to hear her laugh and chuckle, that she was beautiful, and he wanted to kiss her. The impulse became stronger, but he managed to resist it.  

She set her hazel eyes upon him, and for the first time since the start of the shift, he saw her relax. His brown eyes focused on her frame, strong yet soft and curvy. He looked at her ample chest, barely covered by a tight white long-sleeved t-shirt. He then averted his eyes from her chest to her thighs, comfortably wrapped by denim jeans. Nana was quite tall and gorgeous. Her face was soft and round, her hair a beautiful afro that crowned her face. At this instant, in the living room, Michael could only think about how beautiful Nana was and how happy he was to see her on his sofa. It felt as if she had always belonged here, and that brought a smile to his face.  She gave him a sheepish smile and gently moved from her seat to get closer to him, close enough to lean her head against his shoulder.  She was indeed feeling better, now that they were alone in the living room. Michael was a tranquil and calming force in her life, and his presence helped reduce her stress. They were no longer at the ER but in a private setting, and she knew she would not be judged with him. 

Instinctively, Michael wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a tighter hug. He wanted to feel her close to him. He wanted to lose himself in her lovely scent, in the steady rhythm of her heartbeats, and in the warmth of her body. He wanted to feel her hand rest on his chest and her lips pressing kisses to his pec, to his shoulder, to his neck. So they stayed in that nice embrace for a while, comfortable in the silence that had settled between the two of them. He used his phone to blast some music for the two of them to enjoy. An odd choice, but one that made sense since he did not want to move from the couch to put on some vinyls. She did not care for the music, at least not now, not when she was in Michael's arms, so it did not bother her at all to listen to whatever he put on. 

" Thank you, Michael... For what happened in the trauma room. I lashed out at you, at Princess... at Mel.. Everyone in that room got to see the worst version of me today. I apologized to each of them personally for the way I conducted myself in the ER."

"Good. You did not have to, but you still did it. It speaks volumes about your character, Nana." 

"Maybe... I guess? They were all very understanding. Still... I wanted to thank you as well, now, with a cooler head than in the pedes room." -She pinched her lips and looked up to his face-

"I appreciate it." - He could not find the right words, as she had taken him aback. He was expecting them to relax on the sofa, but she clearly was not done with the day, so he indulged her- "I am not upset at you and never was. Grief... Is never linear, and it never ends. It softens, that's all. Today, the case we worked on was eerily similar to your case. Understandably, you'd be affected by it. We all were. We failed this family, and I know that we will kick ourselves for it, so you won't hear me tell you not to be upset."

"I know.... Michael....Back there, you told me I was an outstanding doctor, and there are days I believe it. There are days when I feel so confident in my skills and ability to save people. I was confident I would be able to save this man, despite everything telling me he was not going to pull through. We had patients with very little chances of survival pulling through and surviving the worst. I assumed my patient would be one of them because I was on his case.  It humbled me real quick. I don't feel that I am outstanding just yet. I know I am trying." -he cupped her cheek and stroked it with his thumb-

"I still believe that you already are outstanding." -He whispered to her, his nose brushed against hers, and she pushed her face closer to his, but before she could kiss him, he added, " It's not the doctor I am concerned about. I know you can bounce back up. You always do. I was scared for you, the person. Today, an old wound was opened, and it bled everywhere."

"Shh... I'm okay..." -She pressed her lips to his and slid her fingers into his pepper-and-salt hair.-

 He groaned against her lips because she cut him short in his trail, but he was not able to stop himself from kissing her. As their lips connected and his hands stroked her back. She moaned into their kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck.  Was she okay? Was any of them okay? He went with the flow, this time unwilling to break their closeness. Something pulled him in, despite his wishing that he could stop to make sure she was actually okay. His thoughts were giving space to his growing desire, and the more they kissed, the more he was lost in her. Nana licked his lip, seeking permission to deepen their kiss. When he granted it, Michael shifted on his seat, so he was lying on his back on the couch, and she was on top of him. He let his fingers run her coily hair and held a fistful of it while he deepened the kiss.

She grinned between their lips and pulled away from him just far enough so they could see each other clearly. The woman grinned and gently stroked his cheek. Her hazel eyes warmly set upon Michael, and she slowly pulled back so she could have a good look at him. Michael smiled at her and lifted his brow as she sat back up on the couch and pulled her top over her head. She had a bra underneath her clothes, and Michael felt his blood pressure increase, his heart beating faster, and he licked his bottom lip upon seeing her. His mouth went dry, and he tried to sit on the couch. Nana was beautiful. He loved how her skin looked under the light of his living room. He loved her ample chest and the simplicity of her white bra that contrasted with her black skin.  He loved the warmth on her face, the relaxed features she had since they ended their shifts. He loved her smile, especially when she was getting worked up.  

He felt a pang in his heart, a desire that kept growing to the point that he could no longer ignore it. Nana was hot and bothered, indeed, but she knew her mind was not fully in it. Her first reaction was to pull back and reconsider going through with having sex with Michael right now. She needed a hot shower and to eat something. She needed to wash away the night to be able to find herself again. Debating with herself whether or not she should stop in the middle of something hot with Michael, Nana ended up sighing deeply.

"I know something that can help me unwind." -She grinned and stood up from the sofa-

"And  what could that be?" -He asked in a bemused tone, ready to get rid of his shirt, but she shook her index and lifted her left brow- "What now?"

"A shower. I'm gonna take a shower right now, and we'll order pizza."

"Whaaaa--Nana! Do you have any idea of what you are doing to me?"

She chuckled and walked away from the sofa, her eyes looking for the bathroom. He followed her, still fully clothed, to the bathroom and found her kicking her pants off.  His eyes averted from her chest to her legs, and his mouth became even drier as he looked at her. He crossed his arms against his chest and gave her a sheepish smirk. Well, she was right about something; they both were exhausted, and while sex was on their minds, they needed to first take a warm shower and then eat something warm.  She tilted her head to the side and slowly put her hands on her back to untie her bra. 

"Well, don't think that I am not interested in having sex with you, I am just too exhausted to do anything right now."

"I'm okay, Nana. I'm an adult and..." He trailed off when she removed her bra and dropped it on the floor. 

"You were saying?" - He blinked and cleared his throat. She stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips before she pulled away and removed her underwear, then turned around and walked into the shower- "Are you going to watch me clean myself or??"

"I'll get myself in more comfortable clothes. I'll grab a shower later."

-TBC-

The pitt: Breakdown at the ER

// Nana is going through a complete breakdown after she took charge of a case that opened old wounds and induced a PTSD episode. Robby is here to help her pull through, and they have a heart-to-heart conversation. 

xxxxx

"Dr. Okwuje-McLane!"

She could not hear the voice calling her over and over again. She was still trying to resuscitate a patient, still trying to hold compressions on his chest in a desperate attempt at starting his heart again. Her scrubs and gloves were covered in blood. She had some on her face,  on her hair, but she did not care. The trauma room looked like a war zone. There was so much blood on the floor, so many machines hooked up to the body to monitor the patient's vitals, and the constant beep was tearing through their ears and adding to the stress in that room. Everyone else realized that the patient was dead and had been for a while, but none of them could reach out to her. Dr. King, who assisted Dr. Owukje-McLane, rushed to find Dr. Robby so he could quickly intervene.  Fortunately for Mel, Dr. Robby was not in the middle of an intervention and was simply supervising, so he was able to follow the blonde doctor to the trauma room Nana was intervening in. 

"Dr. Okwuje-McLane!!" 

He raised his voice. She still could not hear him. Her compressions were mechanical as if her body was on automatic pilot. Nana refused to let go and barked at anyone who tried to stop her. So they stopped trying. Mel felt relieved when Dr. Robby walked into the trauma room, but furrowed her brows when he could not reach out to the woman who was performing CPR.  Nana kept working on the body, deaf to the voices around her, oblivious to the strong presence of Dr. Robby next to her.  She was determined to save that man's life, desperate even. He had to live. She promised his daughter that she would save him. She had to make it happen. Dr. Robby looked at her and quickly decided to say her name one last time. 

"Dr. Okwuje-McLane!!!"

"No! I can still save him! I can still SAVE HIM! I promised his daughter! She needs him!"

"There is nothing more that you can do! Stop it!" -He almost shouted his order. She refused to obey, still kept doing her compressions, and when Dr. Robby tried to come closer to her,  Nana barked at him. He stopped in his tracks and kept his hands up in the air so she could see he did not want to set her off. She was not ready to give up on her patient, but he had to solve this quickly.  

"Back off!! BACK OFF! BACK THE FUCK OFF, Dr. Robby!!!" 

She was on the verge of crying, and everyone in the room could tell she was having a breakdown. His whole demeanor changed. Dr. King noticed that Dr. Robby softened his features, his shoulders dropped, as well as his voice, and he quietly closed the distance between him and Dr. Okwuje-McLane, wrapped his arms around her frame to gently force her to stop her compression, and prevent a potential violent response from her.  Surprisingly, Nana did not resist. She simply stopped moving, and the high-pitched machinery beeps were the only noises that filled the room. 

Mel looked at Dr. Robby and pinched her lips together, barely holding her breath as she did not know what was going to happen. Dr. Robby looked towards the blonde doctor and nodded quietly... His face wore a somber expression, as sadness overwhelmed him. He knew all too well what Nana was going through. He knew the immense grief that swallowed the woman's heart. He was holding her firmly but kindly, and after searching for Dr. King's eyes, when they finally locked eyes, he nodded quietly. 

"Dr. King, please call it."

"No.... She can't do that... Don't let her do that..." Nana's voice was weak, a heartbreaking sound that ripped through the team present in the trauma room. They all had somber faces, a silent understanding of the situation, and an acknowledgment that the patient was beyond saving. Mel nodded at the request of Dr. Robby and cleared her throat. 

"Ti-- Time of Death: 11:35 AM."

"Thank you, Dr. King. Please take over and wrap this up." - He then looked down at Nana, who was shaking from head to toe, and spoke with the gentlest voice he could muster at the moment- "Come with me, Nana."

He removed his gloves and helped her remove hers. He threw both pairs into the waste bin and took her hand to guide her to the Pedes Room. He knew that the room was empty and could give her some privacy.  As the captain of the ER, he had to ensure that his team was working seamlessly and nothing could break the workflow. With her breakdown, it was clear that Nana could not resume working in that mental state, and he had to make sure she wasn't a danger to herself and a danger to their patients. Deep down, however, he was worried about Nana. He went through one episode like this before, during the Pittfest mass shouting, and he knew that without support, she simply might fall apart. Michael cared for Nana way more than he was willing to admit at this moment. She was pale and depleted, yet followed the man to the empty pedes room.  He closed the door behind them and watched as Nana slowly walked further into the room. 

" I'm sorry I had to restrain you, but there was no other way to make you stop." -She did not respond and simply sat on one of the beds in the room.- "I know you wanted to save that man, and you did one hell of a job there, but there was nothing we could have done to help him. There was nothing we could have done to save the whole fam--"

"I promised his daughter." -She cut him short, with cracks in her voice. Dr. Robby tilted his head to the side, as if he was taken aback by her words.-

" You know that we can't promise this. We can't."

"She is going to grow up alone... With no sister, no mother, and now... And now...No father. I... I wanted to...I had to save him. I had to..." She was hyperventilating and trying to hold back her tears.  Instinctively, Dr. Robby walked towards Nana and sat in the bed next to her. She broke down in tears and pulled on her scrubs as if she wanted to break free, as if she were suffocating. Dr. Robby put his hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed her, in a way to let her know she wasn't alone and give her enough space. 

"I know..... I know you tried so hard to save that man. It's not fair... It's not fair." -He spoke in a soft voice, gently stroking her shoulder before he dropped his hand to the middle of her back.- "You are an outstanding doctor, Nana, but even the best of us can't defeat Death."

"I don't care!!!!! I don't care, Michael!!!! I should have saved that man, and now, because of me, that little girl is going to grow up without a family!  I wanted to spare her, I wanted..... I needed...I failed." -She unconytollably sobbed and finally wrapped her arms around Dr. Robby's waist. He pulled her into a tight hug and stroked her back as, finally, the woman expressed her grief as she needed to. 

Meanwhile, in the trauma room, Mel watched the empty room and took in the carnage that had taken place. There was so much blood on the floor that the hospital cleaners might spend quite some time in the room. She pinched the bridge of her nose, and  Princess walked to her with a concerned face. 

"Are you okay?"

"N-- Yes! Yes! I am It's part of the job, right? I have just never seen the trauma room so... There is so much blood here."

"I guess it depends on the injuries. This patient was riddled with bullets, kinda difficult not to have a blood bath when it happens." -She sighed and looked around the room again. "But I'll ask again, Dr. King, are you okay?"

"Dr. Okwuje-McLane.... What happened just now with her? I've never seen her like that before. It felt as if I had a brand new person in front of me."

"Ah... Yes. Dr. Okwukje-McLane took this case very personally. A family was transported here minutes ago, all but one in critical condition.  A mom, a dad, two daughters, all shot with several bullets. Everyone but the youngest daughter died within minutes. "

"When you say it's personal, do you mean that she went through the same thing?"

"More or less. Her family was slaughtered during a home invasion. She heard the noises, well hidden in a cabinet. When the noise stopped and the robbers left, she bravely left her hiding spot to try to help her family, only to find them dead. She still calmly called 911, believing that her family would make it. She even fought them when they tried to put white sheets on the bodies. It took a while for her to realize that she had lost everything that night. She went to the foster care system and found her adoptive parents later. This, right there, is definitely a trigger for her. She wanted to protect the little girl from the same trauma she had to deal with."

"I see... Bu--but she tried. She did her best. He just could not be saved, but that doesn't mean--"

"Sometimes facts don't bring comfort. We can't do much for her except support her in whatever way we can. You did great by getting Dr. Robby to her; he would be able to calm her down. Let's just... do what we do best here." 

Princess nodded at that and simply left the trauma room to resume her work. Dr. Mel took a deep breath, pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose, and left the room. She understood now why  Dr. Okwuje-McLane acted that way, and the satisfaction of having an answer was enough to prompt Mel to return to work. 

In the pedes room,  Nana was still crying her heart out. She was still holding onto Dr. Robby, and he was now gently stroking her shoulders. She buried her face into his chest and slowly stopped crying. His hug was comforting, and his steady heartbeats were soothing. He did not speak, afraid to break the silence and wreck all of his efforts. Instead, Dr. Robby wanted to let Nana come to him. She slowly pulled away from him and wiped her face clean with the back of her hands. 

"Thank you, Michael...I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize. We've all been there. It's alright, Nana."

"I thought I could hold my own and handle the case, but I simply could not. I was seeing myself all over again.  When I was giving CPR, I was seeing myself back in my house, with blood all over the place. Ah... I felt powerless. I am powerless, and it just felt so cruel, Michael." -She wiped her tears again and put her hands between her legs, so she could hold onto the mattress. 

"It is cruel. It is hard. This job right here? It's thankless, grueling, a fucking war zone where anything can go wrong. It breaks your heart, and it puts it back together. We save countless lives here; we don't remember them, but they exist. They survived, and it is all thanks to us. To you. You saved lives, Nana, and while I know it is easier to focus on the lives you lost, trust me when I say that the lives you saved are going to remember what you did for them."

"I hope they build a shrine to me. I hope they all do. You're right, I barely remember the lives I save every day. For me, they just come and go. I fixed them, and I carried on. A life lost? It simply tears a hole in my heart, over and over and over again...." She sighed and turned her head so she could look at Dr. Robby. He nodded quietly, his face now somber as he could relate to her words. 

"And you just have to learn how to live with it. That's what we do. That's who he is. We help people. We risk everything to save them. Sometimes we succeed, and sometimes we fail. It takes a toll on us, but despite everything, we simply can't stop ourselves. We have to go back there. We have to."

"We care for others...But who cares for us?" -She knitted her brows and gently put her hand over his. "You cared for me today. You did not have to, but you did, Michael. Thank you" -Her voice was softer now, with a bit of a sob strangled in it.-

"It's my job to watch after my team. You are part of my team, so obviously I would watch after you."

"And who watches after you?" -Her question made him blink. Since when did the tables turn? He did not know what to say to her and simply shrugged.- "Well...I will look after you. I want to." 

She whispered and gently squeezed his hand.  Dr. Robby pulled her hand towards his lips and pressed a kiss to her soft skin.  It wasn't a rejection on his part, but not actually an acceptance either. He wanted to express his gratitude for her concern, especially when she was in the midst of a breakdown, but he was not ready to talk about his own self-destructive thoughts or his own PTSD episodes. She stood up and took a couple of steps away from Dr. Robby. He rubbed the back of his head and slowly stood up again. 

"Nana, are you good to go?" -She nodded and rolled her head- "I don't like the idea of you being alone tonight. After our shift, why don't you come home?" 

"Are you asking me out, Dr. Robby?" -She jokingly said, finally grinning at him, a good sign of her improved morale. He gave her a sheepish smile, and he nodded slowly- " Well, how can I say no to such a nice offer? Let's uh.... let's leave together after our shift, okay?"

"Okay." -He nodded and watched as her leave the pedes room.-

That was intense, nothing they have not experienced before, nothing they would not be able to bounce back from. Nana was resilient. If she had not been, she would not have lasted this long in this job.  The man rubbed his face together and suddenly realized that he had just invited Nana to his place.  Usually, when they hooked up, he would go to hers, but this time, he wanted to care for her. He wanted to be there for her. He felt his heart falter and smiled to himself. He invited her over to his bachelor pad; somehow, that made him feel warmer. It was going to be a good thing. It definitely was going to be.  Comforted with this thought, he simply walked away and back into action. 

-TBC-