Doya : Family matters

Doya: Family matters

A/N : I was feeling my little Castiel, and since he decided to speak, I gave him a little bit of space.

Xxxxxxx

Castiel was investigating a potential case involving angels. Metatron, while dealt with for once and for all, wasn't the only issue Angels had to deal with. Out of the four archangels, Michael was certainly the most dangerous of them all and the last one alive. He was the most faithful son of God and his love and loyalty had proven to be very extreme. Most of Heaven, if not all of them were scared of him and most of Hell if not all felt the very same way. Castiel respected him, he also did fear him but he trusted that this time, maybe his older brother did calm down. Heaven was in turmoil, but perhaps, it had nothing to do with angels this time and everything to do with demons. The angel crouched on the floor as he noticed traces of what seemed to be a fight that broke between angels and demons.  that made him furrow his brows as he analyzed the crime scene. He was studying it carefully when his phone started to ring.

Castiel wasn't that good with technology, but he improved his knowledge and even bought a new phone. The ringtone was the one he gave Oya and it made him stop for a minute and grab the phone. His eyes warmed up at her name and he stood back up. Oya and Castiel had rocky beginnings but Time allowed for the two of them to improve their relationship and consider each other as family. With her, he was different, less emotionally constipated because she was relentless and would never let him go without having him say his piece. With her, There was something easy about Oya, about the way she came into their lives and changed everything. It probably had something to do with her bubbly personality or perhaps the fact she bloomed when she felt completely safe. It had a way to influence others. He noticed the subtle changes in the brothers and the way they carried themselves.

Were they Happy? Perhaps. He couldn't quite understand human emotions, but he would bet his set of wings that they were with her. His attention focused especially on Dean. On the way, he was acting. When Dean went on a mission with him, it happened that he was thinking of bringing Oya something, or he thought of a comeback or something she would have said in the same situation. He was talking about going home, finding her, spending time with her. He was projecting into the future. And while that future was simply the next 24 hours when he's back, it still was the future. Dean was a hardcore hunter. He understood that this life was a very lonely life and for years he had done his best to keep himself from endangering people he loved. He had denied happiness and he pretty much gave up on that.

Yet, here she was. Oya came like a wrecking ball, destroying the self-pity and misery that sometimes entrapped the three men of that family. She came in with Hopes, fears and a genuine vulnerability that brought the best out of them. That made him smile, The last picture he saw of the three of them was of Oya standing between the brothers who made fun of her short height. Dean took the selfie -because Oya couldn't capture all 3 of them- and she sent it to Castiel, with a « come home soon I can't control these two. » caption. And he could see by the face Dean was making, that he was happy. Genuinely happy and had found a reason to go forward.

The angel knew they both were deeply in love with the other. When He worked cases with Oya, she checked on the brothers, talked with Dean, talked about Dean and expressed her desire to go home through simple sentences. He could tell when Dean and Oya were together, working cases or being at home. He could tell by their body language and the fact they first cared for the other. They became more than just friends, or partners, they became a family and Castiel found himself trapped within this huge web of feelings too. He didn't want anything bad to happen to her, ever and just like he wanted the brothers to be safe and happier, he wanted Oya to be happy and remain so. So when he saw her name and heard her ringtone, it put the angel at ease and made him smile.  with a calm voice, the angel replied: 

« Hello? »

(TBC)

Castiel and Oya: Promise me

A/ N: Sam and Dean aren't home just yet, so I'm stretching a little bit the time shared between Castiel and Oya. It's soon her anniversary! She's been through a lot lately so I'm giving her (Them) some rest.

Xxxxx

After saving Joshua, Oya slept for two days straight. She wouldn't wake up so Castiel decided he would let her rest and run some errands for her. He remembered she had not picked the framed collage she wanted to gift everyone with, so he went back to the mall and took it for her. It was simple and elegant, a black frame for a collage the size of a painting, with genuine pictures of the four of them. The angel fondly stared at the pictures, mostly selfies Oya took with all of them. It was a kind gesture, a very simple but effective one. He didn't realize she had taken so many pictures of them or that they even had a moment in their lives when everything wasn't grim and bleak. The angel brought the collage back and put it in her bedroom. He thought she was still sleeping but Oya had woken up a while ago. She had been thinking a lot since she opened her eyes.

Her anniversary was supposed to be something fun, to mark a beautiful moment in her life. It was a moment to celebrate and reflect on the last couple of years she spent in America. She sat on her bed and leaned her arms on her lap as the sweet memory of her late friend, Isaac Stenton filled her mind. How could she forget Isaac? He was the only civilian she saved a couple of years ago, who wanted to get to know her better. She couldn't forget his smiles and genuine affection towards her. Isaac helped Oya express her emotions, back when she was still very closed off and wouldn't admit she cared for the Winchesters more than she said she did. Isaac was a sweet soul who made a friend out of her and she realized that a year later, she was missing him. A quick hold on her phone and she texted his family, just to check on them. Thinking of him was painful and bittersweet but at the same time, she realized that he gave her more than she lost when he died.

He opened the door to a new beginning, to improve and to grow. She thought of Sarah and Joshua Thomas, her childhood friends who made quite a good life for themselves. Sarah had a family and was out of the hunting business once she got married. Joshua stayed a hunter and an actual good one, but even he was thinking of having his own family. They refused to let go of Oya when she came back to the USA and somehow, helped her realize that the Winchesters were her family. Funny, how life was when you thought of it. Since she wasn't sleeping anymore, Castiel simply straightened up and leaned against the wall.

« You're awake. » -He observed. She ran her hand through her heavy black locks-

« I am. » She rubbed her eyes and yawned again. « At long last! » She mused.

-Castiel nodded and said in his monochord voice-« I got your framed collage from the mall so you won't have to go take it. »

He tilted his head to the side as Oya flashed her gorgeous smile at him. It was her first genuine smile in a while because Castiel didn't have to go to such length for her. He usually didn't bother but this time, he did. The angel knew the petite hunter would appreciate it and because he knew she would be smiling, he simply did. Oya learned how to keep things simple over the years on her anniversary: A piece of some pie, one candle to represent the new year and eventually presents she would slip under their pillows, like a secret Santa. This year was no different, the collage was the present and instead of slipping it under their beds, they would hang it somewhere so they could see it. She was excited just because she anticipated their reactions and her smile grew in size before it withered. She woke up with worries in her mind, the remnants of the nightmares she had two days in a row and the thoughts of her loved ones who passed away. Oya woke up with the urge to celebrate life in all its forms and more specifically, the fact her loved ones were still alive, no matter for how long. She had wanted to talk about their rocky beginnings for a while now, but never really had the time so they could talk. Maybe, today was the day, she had to try.

« Thank you. You didn't have to. » -She stood up and stretched her arms, yawning one last time to fully wake up- « It's gorgeous, isn't it? »

« It's simple yes. » The angel replied with a nod. He liked the simplicity of it all, a nice collage of pictures that reminded them of the good times was worth all the vintage cars and artifacts they could find. « I like it. » He added to reassure her. Castiel knew he sometimes had to make sure she understood him fully. She wasn't like the brothers who could somehow, figure out what he meant, so he had to work a little harder when he perceived confusion in the young human. Compliments, for example, didn't occur naturally to the angel or didn't translate well when he tried to make some, so he had to adjust.

« I know. » She said with a soft smile, She turned around and removed the shirt she was wearing. Underneath her clothes were a pair of sports bra and boxers so she didn't feel worried about getting undressed in front of the angel. He could see the scars she had on her body, the long and deep cut from the Asanbosam, and some fresher stabbing wounds she sustained from her time against the shapeshifter. Oya had the body of a fighter. Anyone else would be off put but not Castiel and certainly not the Winchesters. Oya then went to Dean's dresser and took a large white towel from it she wrapped around her frame. « I have to hit the shower, but before I do, I wanted to talk to you. »

«Yes? » Castiel scratched the top of his nose but didn't move from the wall he was leaning against. She turned her head to glance at him and nodded. « I guess I'll have a seat then. » She nodded again and turned on her heels.

« Please. » He went and sat on the bed. She quietly walked towards him and sat next to him. « Thank you. I feel we haven't really stopped to talk about...us. » She began with, her fingers drummed against the soft fabric of the towel that covered her thigh. « And if I'm going to spend some more time with all of you here...There are some things that need to be said. Especially about you. » She bit her bottom lip and looked at him straight in the eye.

« Go ahead... » -His tone was still neutral but she could see he was curious about what she had to say.- « I'm listening. »

« I know. I know you are. I'm grateful you are. » She began with. « You know I hate angels. » -He nodded- « I already told you why so I won't repeat myself here. Today, I still feel the same because there are days I miss my family and it hurts so fucking much.» She patted the towel where her heart should have been. « I feel the same except for you. I love you. You know that. » She put her hand on his knee and looked up at his face.

« I can't speak for my siblings, I understand why you feel the way you do. They have failed you when they should have brought you comfort. We failed you. » He said, his blue eyes averting from her face to the hand that was holding his vessel's knees. « Well, lucky me then. » He teased, a smirk crossing his features. « I'd rather not be at the end of your wrath. »

« Oh come on! » She chuckled and held onto his knee tighter. « I mean it, Cas. What you did for me... »

Her voice broke as she thought of their latest hunt together. He did help her track down the possessed Joshua. Without Castiel, Oya would have never been able to save her friend, let alone face him. The very first reaction she had was run away because she couldn't face the Christian demon who possessed him. The nightmares she had ever since she encountered Possessed! Joshua was even worse than her regular ones. She ran away when she should have stayed and helped her friend. Castiel didn't judge her for her mistake, he didn't judge her for her genuine fear. After all, she hated angels but feared Christian demons, it was who she was. The angel helped her save Joshua, but she did overcome some of her fears and faced that demon anyway. She did it to save Castiel, not because it was Dean's best friend, but because she loved him. She realized it when they went up against that demon. She realized she would genuinely give her life to save Castiel's and it filled her with joy and fear. Something she couldn't fully explain. Shame took over, however, as she remembered the way she used to treat him before their relationship became better. Shame urged her to ask for forgiveness, so she did.

« You don't have to thank me for that. I wanted to help you. I know how important that was for you. Joshua is your friend, and you are terrified of demons. It made sense that I went with you. » He said, holding onto her shoulder. Oya nodded and leaned her cheek against his arm.

« I actually do have to thank you for that... And apologize too. I was a little bitch with you ever since we met. I put you in the same bag as all the angels and ignored everything Dean and Sam told me about you. I wanted to hate you, I needed to hate you because you were the first angel I've ever met and at long last, I had someone I could lash out at. It was dumb, selfish, and horrible for me to treat you the way I did. » She closed her eyes. « I ask for your forgiveness, but you don't have to forgive me. »

She resumed drumming on her lap. He stared at her for a while, stoic as usual until finally, his gaze became warmer and he gently cupped her other cheek. He knew she had been thinking about it for months, probably since the very first day they got along well and it stayed at the back of her head. He wanted to help her feel better and relieve her from a self-imposed burden. Her eyes averted from his neck to finally meet his warm gaze. He might not smile, but she knew he was looking at her with great care in his baby blues. She was certain now, that he cared for her otherwise he wouldn't have gone with her in this case. He wouldn't have saved Joshua for her, he wouldn't have forced her to stitch her head or even bother bring her home. He did all of this because he wanted to and because he could. It didn't get lost on Oya who put her hands over the back of his larger ones and tried to smile to him.

« I forgave you long ago Oya. I forgave you because I understood why you were acting like this. I forgave you when I realized you really cared for the brothers and you would do anything in your power to save them. I forgave you a long time ago, you don't need forgiveness. » He then planted a kiss on top of her head.

« Thank you... » She choked on her words and shut her eyes tight. Oya was exhausted, emotionally exhausted from the last months she'd just spent. The constant fights, the heavy cases, the dangers she escaped from. She nearly died several times, had to watch old friends die, had to save Joshua from being possessed by a demon, had to talk Sarah out of becoming a hunter and even now, she had to struggle with her feelings. It was a lot. She felt a lot and her heart could not handle that many feelings, some had to come out. « Thank you. » She repeated again, as tears filled her closed eyes. She knew she wouldn't be able to contain them so she didn't even try.

« You're welcome. » -He simply said, his features giving him a relaxed expression on his face, which helped Oya relax as well.- « I like you Oya. You're family. » She skipped a heartbeat as he spoke. « It took some time but I saw you for who you really are. I like that person. » She nodded as a couple of tears just ran down her cheeks. « I know you care about this family as well. You care a lot. » -She nodded again-

« Which is why I should tell you...What happened with Joshua made me realize that, if I ever became evil, or possessed or...promise me you will be the one to finish me off. »

« What are you talking about? »

« I can't do that to Dean. He can't be the one to kill me. He can't... » She swallowed a lump and bit her bottom lip. « It happened already... When he fought against the Shapeshifter? He had to kill her--- me! She looked just like me. He had to kill me. » She said, her eyes wet from all the tears she was crying. « We never talked about it, but I know how traumatic that is. And given how she taunted me, I already know she told him I was feeling something... » She sighed and shut her eyes. « I also know we're not talking about it and I won't. »

« You care for Dean. Everyone knows. » He said with a tone that suggested he was teasing her when in truth he wanted to alleviate the situation and give her a reason to chuckle. It didn't work, Oya shook her head.

« I-I-I very much do. I care for him in ways I can't express Castiel. I can't say it, but I can show him. And I implore you to never let him be the one to kill me if it comes to this. He would never cope with it, never. » She held onto Castiel's hands tighter and opened her eyes to look at the angel.

« I will never let anything this bad happen to you. He wouldn't have to »

« Just promise me, Cas! Promise me... » She said, her voice breaking down again. Castiel eyes shifted for a second before he finally looked at her and nodded. He wouldn't let Dean go through this ordeal and he wouldn't let Oya get in this situation to begin with. He would try anything in his power to protect her. Just like he would protect the brothers.

« I promise. » He finally said in his very laconic tone, but she knew by the intensity of his gaze that he meant his words. She relaxed and wrapped her arms around Castiel for a hug. He shifted his gaze and gently patted her back. « I got you. »

And he did. He had her back now and she knew it.

-TBC-

Castiel x Oya: Victories

A/ N: Prior to the celebration of her three years with the Team Free Will, Castiel helps Oya with a case that means everything to her. Their bond gets stronger.

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Castiel was driving his car, with a sleeping Oya leaning into the passenger's seat. She had been patched up by the nurse they both rescued from Joshua's demon, and aside from the deep cut at the top of her forehead, she only had a busted rib and some bruises on her chest. The angel decided against her wishes that it would be better for her to return home than stay by Joshua's sides. They rescued him, the two of them. Castiel promised Oya they would find the young possessed man and they would rescue him. He noticed how distraught she was when she returned from that solo hunt and once Sam asked him to check on Oya because she might have met Lucifer, he didn't hesitate. Part of the angel was glad she had not met the fallen angel. Lucifer was the worst when it came to a supernatural creature. It wasn't so much his incredible feats than his unpredictable and cruel personality. He had played with, tortured, and broke the Winchesters and Castiel to such a capacity that no other entity could reach his level. He really hurt the three of them to the bone hence the angel's instant panic at the mention that Oya might have met him.

These two had a very rocky start. Filled with mistrust and anger. He couldn't blame Oya for rejecting the angels after what happened to her. He couldn't blame her for not trusting him or even just having troubles understanding him. Communication wasn't Castiel's strong suit but they managed. As soon as he realized she was genuinely caring for both brothers, he mellowed and when she noticed he was less on the defensive, she lowered her defenses as well. Day after day, moments after moments until finally, the angel caught the hunter trying to run away from the Bunker. Oya got scared because she realized she was attached to the brothers and convinced she would get them killed like she did her family, she tried to preserve them. That was what she thought was the reason for her departure.

Castiel saw through it, it wasn't so much that she wanted to protect them -she did want that- it had more to do with her thinking she didn't deserve to be loved and accepted. Castiel had been there, done that years ago. He too had to accept that the Winchesters became his family and he deserved to have one too. He had bled enough, made amends for his foolish ways already and just like any other person on Earth, after such hard work, he deserved some good rest. He spotted that in Oya, the low self-esteem she already had shone through her feeble attempts at justifying her trying to run away. He convinced her to stay and the two talked openly about what the brothers meant, why they were his family and that they had indeed adopted Oya as the new member of the team. She was family and she would need to accept it. That was a small victory.

Greater than her anger towards angels was her fear of Christian demons. He noticed how quickly she shook whenever they mentioned Crowley and even more when the king of Hell appeared in the flesh. Oya was petrified. She mentioned it a few times, that she couldn't fight a Christian demon and had yet to master her genuine fear of them. Castiel still remembered how frightened she was after she encountered a possessed Joshua. He remembered how distraught she was when she lamented she was unable to rescue her friend. Castiel took it upon him to help her. He took it upon him to save her if need there was, hence why both of them went on a mission to rescue her friend. Joshua was a very close friend to Oya. He almost was family to her so she would not allow his death. Saving him proved more difficult than it appeared to be, mostly because the demon was strong, way stronger than they imagined it to be. He maimed both of them pretty badly and could have taken the angel down if it wasn't for Oya who overcame her fear and incapacitated the vessel. Knocked out and bound, it became their priority to perform a successful exorcism. And they succeeded. That was a huge victory.

Oya and Castiel took Joshua to the nearest hospital and called Sarah so she could come and handle the situation from this point on. Castiel watched as the hunter refused to be seen by a nurse but after she realized that her bleeding wouldn't stop, she did agree to sit and be stitched up. The angel had already seen the woman anxious, so nervous that she would have been able to eat her own hair to control her stress. He had already seen her walk in a circle, clasping her hands together, assemble and disassemble her guns or polish her blades in an attempt to prevent a major breakdown. She was as stiff as a piece of wood, waiting for the doctor to come back with positive news. Sarah arrived and the two hugged, talked about Joshua and their shared past. Sarah held onto Oya's hand and pressed light kisses on top of her head. She knew the ebony hunter hated hospitals and was grateful she stayed until she was sure Joshua was safe. They waited like this, then Oya resumed walking in circles until finally a doctor arrived and spoke to Sarah who then informed Oya that Joshua was alive and finally woke up. It was a huge victory.

Seeing the two of them laugh-cry at the situation and Oya relax warmed the stoic angel's heart. He wanted to see her more like this, happier and laughing. That was hit him when he was driving back home. Oya wasn't just the human companion to the Winchester brothers. She wasn't meant to come and go like so many other people did in those boys lives. She was meant to stay. She wanted to stay. He watched as she turned on her side, struggling to find a comfortable position and wrap her arms around his right one. She leaned a little against his shoulder, knocked out by the days spent tracking and finally fighting against the demon. Seeing her closing the gap between the two of them opened his eye to the fullest. She truly had chosen him and accepted Castiel for who and what he was. An angel, the exception, the only one. She accepted him as her family. That was a huge victory. The best one. She was family.

Oya and Castiel: Anniversary blues

3 years! It was soon going to be 3 years since she first met the Winchesters. It was the longest she'd ever been with people and quite frankly, a feat in itself. Oya was excited about the day. She would honor tradition by buying a chocolate cupcake and one candle she would lit. Usually, she would be the one giving presents to the boys, making sure each of them had something unique or something they wanted to have and mentioned one day. Sam had his Vince Vincente albums and a book of spells he never heard of, Dean usually had weapons she found. Old artifacts she discovered during her hunts or weapons she ordered and customized. She decided to take a day off to prepare for the day and nurse a stomach wound. This year would be simple, she spent the day making a collage of pictures she took with Castiel and the brothers throughout those 3 years. Once she was done, Oya left the bunker and went to the mall in order to have it framed. As she was at a thrift shop, she was met by Castiel.

« What brings you here, Cas? » She asked as she kept looking at some shirts. 

« I wanted to talk to you, about your encounter with... » He stopped and watched as she pulled a corny shirt with a pair of breasts painted on it. «...With Lucifer. Did you really meet him? »

She shook her head and stared at the shirt for a while. She already had an apron she gave Dean with breasts painted on it, so she shrugged her shoulders and put the shirt back. Castiel furrowed his brows and noticed the goosebumps on her arms and the slight shaking of her lips. She had not met Lucifer but she did meet a demon. Castiel's gaze softened and he put his hand on Oya's shoulder.

« I am glad you didn't meet Lucifer. I'm glad you're okay. »

« I don't know if I am okay. » She whispered and turned around to face Castiel. « I can't really be okay. I am terrified. » She admitted before she looked at the angel's face. « I'm terrified because I realize that I am weak in front of demons. I can't help Sam, Dean and you if we're up against a demon. It's frustrating me as well as terrifying me. » She clenched her fists. « I can't even help Joshua... »

« You don't have to do this alone. » Castiel said, both his hands now holding the hunter's shoulders. « I know you like to do this on your own, but asking for help is never a shame. »

« Says the one who always goes solo. » She sneered but smiled at him.

« Which is why I am telling you that asking for help is not a bad thing. I came to regret some of my actions. » -He cupped her cheek, which made Oya close her eyes.- « You need help, your friend needs help and we're going to help you save him. »

« I wouldn't be able to handle his death... » Oya choked at her own words and she leaned her cheek into his hand. « I wouldn't be able to handle any of your deaths. »

« But you're comfortable sacrificing yourself ? » -She put her hand over his and shut her eyes.

« I don't want to argue today. Please, let's not. » Oya pulled away from him and turned around to look at some pants. These were nice with comic book logos on it. There was one pair of leggings with a Batman symbol on it, others with Wonder woman.

« I didn't come to argue with you Oya. I was concerned. Sam told me you faced a demon and I was afraid it was Lucifer. » She shrugged and shook her head.

« It was not. » She sighed and picked a star-spangled legging. She turned around to look at Castiel. « You look concerned... »

« Of course. » He walked towards her. «I wanted to make sure you were alright. You don't seem to be. Is there something I can do ? »

« Right now ? » She grabbed another pair of legging, this time a pair of Hulk's « help me pick up the best pair of leggings. Hulk or Captain America ? » she pushed the two in front of Castiel who gave her a stern look. She was serious and the slight smile on her lips was enough to convince him to answer.

« Captain America. »

« O,h fudge ! I wouldn't have thought !  » Oya chuckled and gently and put the Hulk's pants back. « You always seemed the Bruce Banner type of guy. Always quiet, always keeping himself in check while he has the power to destroy the planet. »

« I don't have that kind of power. » He bluntly said. « But I get what you are saying. »

She took the pants and paid for them. As they both left the thrift shop, the ebony hunter stopped and looked up at Castiel's face. He could tell she was upset, and still shaken from her encounter with the demon. She chewed at her bottom lip and ran her hand through her heavy black curls. Castiel noticed she was trying her best to put up a brave face. He tilted his head to look at her, waiting for Oya to actually say something.

« I want to enjoy the time we have together, because I could be dead tomorrow. I've stopped running away, Castiel. I have stopped running away. You're family, Sam, Dean, and you. I still have my issues with angels, but you're not like the rest of them. You are you and I love you. »

« I wouldn't let anything happen to you, Oya. » He pulled her into a hug. « Besides, it's soon your anniversary. »

« I want a big cake. » She said, hugging him as tight as she could.

« Then, you shall have it. »

-TBC-

OYA AND DEAN : Heartbroken

A/N: Castiel doesn't play around! all usual disclaimer! SPN belongs to its owners and Oya belongs to me

xxx

Oya fell asleep a few minutes after Dean and Sam left. She took her meds and quietly walked back to her bedroom. Truth was, the exchanges she had with Dean since she left him to follow that lead had not been pleasant. She had no idea of where they stood at except that he did care enough for her to stay nearby. He allowed her to be in the bunker, allowed her to recover inside safe walls. He allowed her presence around him but put a distance between the two of them. Understandable. She couldn't blame him for it but it sure didn't feel great to be the bad guy. She cursed under her breath for having held his hand and for the kiss she forced on him in a moment of panic. It was an impulsive move, one that came from her daydream about the moment of passion they shared during their hunt.

He didn't seem like his usual self. He could try to fool her all he wanted, Oya was cunning and she knew something was off. He didn't eat his food, skipped eating bacon -Dean, not eating bacon? very unlikely.-, looked like he received a severe beatdown and was at the end of his life. It scared Oya from the moment he came back and it didn't sit well with her. She was scared. From the outside, the African beauty might have looked like a looney, but she trusted her instincts. She was right about Dean. But more than that she was worried. The mere idea of losing him was driving her crazy but she couldn't process it just yet. She knew the hunter was a hothead and most likely would run towards danger if given the opportunity. She had the time to observe him and could recognize the common traits of someone who blamed themselves for all the evil in the world. He was carrying the world on his shoulder, the pain of the deaths surrounding him, the pain of being left alone and she.....obviously ripped open the wound. She drove him away and because of that, he would throw himself towards danger like he always did.

« You have to wake up Oya. It's time for your meds. » Castiel's voice pierced the silence. It was monotonous as usual but loud enough for her to actually open her eyes.

« Castiel.... You came. » Her voice was cold to the angel. He always welcomed her cold attitude with the classic stoic attitude he always displayed.

« Dean asked me to. »

« Yeah...I know. » She painfully sat on the bed and leaned against the headset. Castiel handed her the pills and a glass of water she chugged down swiftly.

It was stiff, it was uncomfortable between the two of them and Castiel never really asked her why she was so pissed off by his mere presence. He never did anything to her, they barely spoke but anytime he did open his mouth, the African hunter always rolled her eyes at the back of her eyesockets or grunted or came up with a snarky remark. She hated him, or so he thought but he didn't care much about her, he didn't care much about what the world thought of him unless the opinion came from people he truly valued like the Winchesters or his fellow angels. Castiel sat on a chair near the bed and stared at her blankly, which unsettled the hunter who looked away from him, at the window and the pitch black of the night. The brothers possibly have not arrived just yet, which was a temporary relief for the woman. Castiel didn't care much about her being cold to him because usually it only stopped at banter. She never attacked him physically or tried harder in her attempts at bickering. This time seemed to be the same so he shrugged it off.

Her mind was wandering off, towards Dean and the desire she felt for him. The shivers his touch sent to her spine, the goosebumps on her skin were evidence of her affection for the man. She craved these, she craved his lips on her skin, his arms around her waist and his voice in her ear cracking up jokes to make her laugh. She dreamed of her wearing his red tiled shirt and straddle him on a bed with a beer in their hands. She dreamed about an intimacy she lost when her fiancé died by her hands. And that was confusing the hell out of her. That was scaring her. It was silly but it exactly was the very same she had with Sam except for the sexual attraction and Sam was a friend. He was a friend right? So Dean was a friend with benefits.. so why feeling irrational about losing him? Her hands starting to move as anxiety overwhelmed her. Oya clenched and unclenched her fists as she tried to calm herself down to no use. Wendigos weren't easy enemies, quite the opposite and Dean looked like Death when she saw him that morning. Why did he go? Her legs shook but she tried to keep her mind focused on something else and glanced at the angel who was minding his own business ;

« We had sex. » It came out wrong, it came out too fast and it made her groan and blush. Castiel lifted a brow in genuine confusion but didn't ask about it. « Dean and I... We had sex that other day during our hunt. » She repeated, mostly talking to herself now. Her heart was racing and she held tight onto the sheets.

« I.. don't care? » He began with, eyeing the mortal in sheer incomprehension. « Why do you tell m-- »

« We had sex and it was.... mind-blowing and I didn't expect it to happen you know? »  She sounded excited as if she had discovered fire or something. He didn't really understand why she was telling him all of this or why, but he could feel a small relief from her which changed from the cold she welcomed him with. Besides.. Dean had sex with her? Castiel wasn't the type of being who would enjoy chatting about anyone's sexual life. Although he had a taste of it when he briefly was human, that didn't mean he would want to gossip about it, especially not when it was about the Winchesters. It still was quite the surprise given the loud and brash personality of this lady here. Castiel didn't think they would ever but it did happen.

« ….Okay? »

« No, you don't get it Castiel. It was warm, it was.... it felt like home. We didn't make love, I'd know if I was making love but it sure felt like it. We argued. »

« First, I don't need details. Then, you always argue with people. You argue with me constantly Oya. » He tried to stop her from talking by pointing the obvious but she shook her head and kept talking.

« I don't care! You don't get it! You don't get it... after all these years I thought it would never be possible...to feel this close to someone. I let him see me. I let him hear me. I let him touch me in ways nobody had in the past...I looked him in the eyes while I always made sure I didn't even put a face or a name on people I fucked before. I.. said his name Castiel. » She blushed harder and pressed her lips against her forefinger as she started to think.

« What do you want me to say? » He looked at her unsure of how to interpret her babbles. He wasn't her best friend, didn't want any detail, didn't even want to enter this conversation. All of it made him shrug. « Oya, listen. »

She wasn't listening, she wouldn't listen because she realized that the way she cared about Dean was a lot more complex than she first expected. Her heart was racing against her ribcage and she shook her head. No ! Oya didn't want to care about Dean that much. He couldn't come close to her heart, no one could. Those she cared about always died, like her mom who was killed by her possessed brother. Like her dead who was killed by cancer because he lost a son to a demon, he didn't notice. Like her fiance, she had to kill because he was possessed by a demon because he went on a hunt without her. Dean.. Dean was now rushing towards his death because of her. Because she betrayed him and he hunted alone.. because she hurt him and he didn't want to stay in the same place as her. Her eyes grew wide and she shook her head. Her fingers went through her black locks and she groaned loudly. Castiel straightened on his seat. What was wrong with Oya? She was a bit hard to follow and it might have a lot to do with him being unwilling to really getting to know her since she was so venomous whenever they talked together. But he wasn't heartless and he wasn't an ass so of course, he tried to know what was wrong.

« What's wrong Oya? »

« you have to help him Castiel! You have to go help him fight those Wendigos! »

« What are you talking about?  He has fought them before and he can handle them. » His tone was trying to remain his usual monotonous self but she was growing even more worried now.

« You haven't seen him Castiel! He looked like Death. Ever since he went to fight the witch on his own he came back wrong. He didn't eat his bacon this morning, he looked sick.. he.. he.. we argued... »

« Arguing is your second nature. How could that be unusual ?» He stood up and came close to her frame. It was a shot fired at her

« I swear on my life if something happens to him and you didn't go and help, I will kill you! »

« Stop! » He said firmly but Oya was worried and blinded by her fear, she refused to calm down. She pushed aside the sheets and put her feet on the floor. « Calm down, » he commanded, exasperated by her defiant attitude. « Right now! »

«NO !!! » She yelled at him, visibly furious that he didn't want to do as she requested. «  You don't get to tell me to calm down Angel! » It was his cue that she wasn't ready to listen to him. « I'm telling you that Dean is in danger and you are NOT listening! You are NEVER listening, you angels! You come around feeling haughty and powerful because you have a nice pair of wings and some white light but you are fucking poison! You're unable to manage your bloody place so monsters can sneak out like those Leviathans did or whatever it is you're hiding there! You look at us with disdain because we are so small! And we are here, left to suffer from not even some hope in our hearts! You're not listening! Is God even listening when we pray to him? » She forced herself back onto her feet, opening her wound in the process but she was angry and desperate because of Dean's situation. Castiel stiffened when she mentioned God but he still took a few steps forward so she would back down and sit on the bed, which she didn't.

«You are so full of yourself Oya. Look at you, playing the righteous hunter who gets to tell others what to do and what to say. You weren't there! You do not know of the sacrifices we all made! I lost several brothers and sisters because of Lucifer, because of Metatron, because of the Leviathans and all of the bloody creatures that roam the Earth. I experienced pain too and at a level, you can't even comprehend. You don't get to tell me who I am because you don't know me. Now I could care less about your opinion or even your presence but Dean asked me to keep an eye on you and that's what I'm going to do. I would not let your fears make me break a promise I made to him. » he pointed out, ignoring her question about God. He didn't want to think about their latest adventures, the Darkness and the near-end of the world. He didn't want to talk about how traumatic the whole event was.

« I don't care about you either ! You're a self-entitled asshole who goes around crying because you couldn't handle the power of God. Of course, you couldn't! look who's not going to help his friend while he can do something about it! » She spat at him, furious that he actually had a point in this heated argument. She clearly saw she hurt him

« I might be, but you're trying to boss people around like you own them. You are a suffocating self-absorbed bitch Oya. This is who you are. You're the one who broke your relationship with Dean, not me! I am not going to run around and fix your mess! You should work on it alone! » He spat back and it burned her hard. He didn't need to add anything to this burn because it was true. She invaded the Winchesters life and was trying to make it cozy for her. It might not have been true but she perceived herself this very way as he spoke, her anxiety only increasing by the seconds. Her fists clenched and unclenched at a steady pace despite them becoming stiff like wooden sticks. Her breathing became more labored and her eyes were filled with unshed tears.

« You are even worse than I thought you'd be. You're the one talking about me bossing around people and suffocating them when you're not even able to fucking speak your damn mind! I do, I make mistakes, I try to fix them and show it, but you're emotionally frigid! That's what you are and that's why you'll always be a pathetic and lonely loser !! shunned from your people forever » At this point, she wasn't even thinking anymore, she wanted to hurt him. She wanted him to feel her pain and coupled with her incoming panic attack, she was worse than usual, slamming the angel with all of her might. She wasn't saying the truth, or maybe a tiny bit of it, but Castiel wasn't lying though and maybe that was what hurt her the most.

« Ah! This is old news Oya, maybe you'll need something fresh and I'll deliver. Newsflash, you ruined your relationship with Dean when you ran away. Yes, you betrayed him and how is that? You didn't think about him when you took off. You are the reason for your own mess and there is no turning back. He's never going to trust you again, he's never going to open up to you again, he's never going to give you his heart! Do you think I hadn't noticed? You trying to pretend you're not falling for Dean? I stop you right here, don't. He won't give you. He never did before and never will. Give up that silly dream of yours and return to reality. You're suffocating him, that's what you're doing. You're not trusting him, you're entrapping him in a relationship he never wanted and never would. So I might be constipated emotionally, at least I do have a family. Sam and Dean are my family but you don't get to call them yours yet. »

It snapped inside of her. Oya was genuinely terrified about losing Dean and what he might represent to her. He was a chance at a new life with people she cared about. A family she could share her life with. Sam her and Dean would go hunting, they would drink beer. They would save the world and she would be with Dean.. as in.. she would have sex with him. She would make love to him. Flashes of his warm lips against her neck, of his forehead against her, of his hand into her hair or his body sleeping next to her in a spooning position. She coughed and shook her head. Castiel sucker punched her and she did have that panic attack. His words were a bitchslap to her and she realized that he was right. She wanted to say something but the words died at the back of her throat. Instead, she stood up and started to walk towards the dresser so she could pack. She wouldn't leave yet, maybe when she would recover, if she ever did. He was right, she shouldn't be around, she shouldn't...

« What are you doing? » He asked before she looked up to his face barely containing herself.

« Packing.. preparing my stuff. I'll be gone as soon as I have healed. » Her voice was broken, her heart was I shambles. Why was it hurting so bad? Oya didn't know. Castiel was defending himself and maybe was he driven by the need to snap back at her but he still did say the truth. She was a foreigner. She kept spending her time screaming at Dean or worrying over him. She broke his trust and now was convinced she would never get it back. He noticed she was shaking and decided to walk towards her and stop her from packing.

« I stepped out of line. » She looked at her back and sat on her heels. Her stomach was hurting but the wound didn't open itself which was a good sign.

« I did. And you were right.. all the way. » She grabbed a pair of boots and stuffed it in the bag. « I don't get to call them a family when the first thing I do is break the trust between Dean and me. I don't get to call them a family when my confused heart wants... we don't care about it. »

« He'll come around.  He always does for people he cares about. »

« He shouldn't.... You were right about something earlier. I am scared. I am scared about him dying Castiel. Everyone around me dies... my brother was possessed by a demon because we argued and he wanted to prove me wrong. He killed our mother. She died thinking her son wanted to kill her when in fact he died when the demon possessed him. She died because of me! Our father got cancer. He never could forgive himself for not having seen Kalusha was possessed.. for not saving mom.. for letting me down. I.. I... he died because of me. » She was sobbing uncontrollably. « My.. fiance. I thought I had earned myself some happiness you know? Someone who cared about me, who was okay with my job being this risky because he was a hunter too. Went on a hunt without me and came back possessed. I … /I/ had to endure him insulting me, saying hateful shit to my face.. /I/ had to kill him with my bare hands. I did it Castiel...So..Dean, maybe it's best if he never wants to see me again because I deserve it. » She started to bawl her eyes out « But please. please.. make sure he is okay. I don't care if he hates me. I don't care if I don't belong here.I just want him to be okay. » Castiel looked at her and didn't know how to comfort her. He put his hand on her shoulder.

« He's not going to die. I am very sure about it. You don't have to pack right now.  Get some sleep Oya. »

She nodded silently and cleaned her face with the back of her hand. Maybe it was a mistake to spend some time with Dean. She wanted Sam and him to be happy and live a little more like they deserved to. She wanted them to know peace, see the job from a different angle.. but they were too different. Her stomach was upset, she wanted to throw up but Castiel would have sworn he heard her heartbreak when he uttered those words he couldn' take back.

« I'm sorry Castiel. I wasn't mad at you, I was mad at angels in general. I was mean, horrible really... I'd understand if you don't want to see my face. » But before he could answer anything, she passed out from the pain she ignored for too long.

(TBC)