journey into cosplaying: wanting to give up

I want to give up. It's been a very rough summer for me. especially June and August. I can't stand my face today, I don't even want to pay attention to it. I feel ugly and there are times when I feel okay. I don't understand. I don't understand why I even wanted to cosplay my character while there are others who can do it even better than me. Look at that waste of space and skin I am.....

I have zero costumes done, I shall be sewing them or have them sewn BUT I want to lose weight before, my vanity is this important. I want to be in a shape that makes me feel comfortable. but I haven't been to the gym for basically 2 full months. it's too much. I'm even skipping this first few days of October after having said I would want to.

Why can't I keep up my own promises?

Why is it so hard?

Why am I falling apart?

I don't want to give up though, I want to keep going. I need to cosplay. I bought the tickets anyway. Why spoil my fun? maybe it's because I'll be alone on that day? who cares? why should I care? it's for my own fun, I bought the tickets for god's sake.

I don't want to give up

journey into cosplaying: part 1 ordering and crafting

So I had a couple of days for me and my friends who are into cosplays as well.  The first  step was the easiest one: ordering items to make my outfit:

thing is, I want to have two outfits: one I would make from scratch and the other I would have crafted by a seamstress :)

First one cost me tons of money (okay, around 80 euros) just because I had so many things to order. I decided to go with a black outfit (let's play safe here) I could use in real life :D

so the body, yoga pants (a little bit looking like spandex), opera gloves, 2 wigs so I could have different styles,  head jewels, and wolverine earrings, as well as an x-men buckle belt, a sash, and a bolero.


The second costume I'll wear would be a blue and white dress I have designed a while ago. I believe it would be the dress I have designed ages ago for Asma to wear. I really liked this and have always wanted to see it worn by me and hopefully by someone else :D I also honestly want to have a great dress I could wear for something special, like a Ball or a wedding or something private between people and me :) or maybe my birthday I don't know.

yes, you can tell I really want to use again my stuff in my daily life. I will order it :) I have to order it.


I decided to craft my own stuff as well;

I did an opera mask inspired by x-force but customized so we could see me better
two X emblems, one gold and black and the other silver and black. one is a buckle belt and the other is a pin's

and then I have crafted Asma's emblem :D

I am super happy with the results :D super proud of myself and of course and hopefully, would show you how it is for real when I'm home.

with love

Kaedegirl