HUG Shorts: Always wanting you

Sara stretched her arms when she stood up from her bed. She looked at the blonde supe who had just entered the bedroom. Her head turned to have a better view of his face. It made her purse her lips into an appreciative grin, and she bit her bottom lip. Homelander was a man in his prime. She loved the fact that he was older than her; something about it turned her on and sent shivers down her spine. She loved the fact that he was mature, that age could be seen on his face when he smiled. Her eyes stared at his beautiful and perfect blonde hair. It looked like gold against her skin, and she loved to run her fingers through his golden locks. Her eyes averted from his hair to his eyes. They were an intense, uncanny blue, a color she knew was the result of the compound V running through his veins. They were the mirror of his soul, speaking of truths his mouth could hide, and they were beautiful.  Sara nibbled on her bottom lip as her eyes averted from his face to his chest. 

Homelander was perfection made flesh. There was nothing that could compare to his uncanny beauty. She licked her bottom lip, unable to resist the sight before her. He always made her wet. She couldn't help herself after all. From the moment they met, Sara had felt the cold shiver of fear and the hot shiver of arousal go down to her loins. It stirred up something from deep within, and the more she studied his naked chest, the more she wanted to set her hands on him. So she walked towards him and held onto his towel. A grin graced her features, and she slowly pulled on it. The supe could tell his girl was hot for him. She became hot and bothered as soon as he stepped into their shared bedroom.  He could feel she was genuine with him, a love stronger than the ugly truths about his past, stronger than those who tried to break them apart. He could smell her fear and her arousal mixed together in a delicious scent he was drunk with.  Sara grinned and slowly untied his towel, just so she could make it drop to his feet. 

Her black eyes grew wide as she saw his cock, and she sucked at her bottom lip and slowly ran her hand through her silky black locks. She didn't know how Homelander did it, but she couldn't resist him. She couldn't stop wanting him. Homelander cupped her cheek and stroked it with his thumb. He flashed his wolfish grin and pressed his lips to her neck. The contact made Sara moan, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Her knee pressed against his legs, and she gently pressed it against his cock. John groaned and nibbled on her skin. Sara closed her eyes briefly and ran her fingers through his blonde hair, and started to massage her scalp. He grabbed her by her ass and promptly lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and cuddled John in a tight and warm embrace. She felt at peace; in a morning like this one, she was at peace. Homelander loved her. He wanted her. He made her feel safe, desired and wanted and it was priceless. 

HUG: Welcome home, babygirl

Sara rummaged through her bag for her phone. She found it and quickly walked to the bed. She sat at the edge of the bed and searched through her contact list for Homelander's name. Should she call him? It made her pause for a minute. Homelander was quite a busy man; that much was true. Could she bother him with a call? A part of her didn't want to, in fear that it could distract him, but another part of her just couldn't wait. She had to talk to him. She had to hear his voice.  Sara put her phone against her chest and bit her bottom lip. She woke up with a burning desire for her boyfriend, and she knew that taking care of it on her own would not satiate her hunger. Instead, if she called him, this time it would help her feel satisfied. It was decided! She would call the only man in the sky! 

Sara decided to lie on her bed again. Her eyes were focused on the white ceiling, which would make it easier to lose herself in her fantasy. She let her free hand slowly move up from her thigh to her short shorts, to her belly, and her thin-strapped top. Her hair was crowning her face. It was spread all over the bed and pillows, and some rebellious strands fell on her chest. Since Starlighters and the Boys were becoming more vocal and more violent, Homelander was busy fighting them and therefore stayed more at the tower. Since she rarely went to the tower, Homelander being more keen to visit her home, she didn't have many opportunities to spend time with her baby. Distance was starting to take a toll on her, and Sara felt Homelander's absence more than she anticipated. She kept his clothes, just so she could smell him, but it did nothing if not make her want him some more.  She ended up calling him, determined to hear his voice and hopefully have him help her reach a powerful orgasm. 

"Babygirl." -His velvety voice reached out to her ears, and Sara blushed upon hearing Homelander's voice- "Are you alright?"

"No, baby!  I am not alright. I am restless and horny and you're not here." -the black freckled supe pouted. He chuckled and shook his head-

"Babygirl, you know that I can't be around because I ahve to deal with those cocksuckers. I want to be, trust me, I do. I just can't right now. How can I make it up to you?"

"I know, baby. I know. I'm not mad at you. How about we get hot on the phone? I want to finger myself while I hear your voice. Can you do that for me, baby? Can we have phone sex? Please, Homelander, please! I need it. I need you!"

He paused for a moment, considering her demand. Did he have some spare time to sit and enjoy listening to his girl touch herself and react to his voice? It was hot, new, but undoubtedly hot. He ran his hand through his blonde locks and walked in circles in his quarters. He was the Homelander and he could whatever the fuck he wanted. He hadn't seen his girl for quite some time now, and to hear her voice, her little whimpers, and the need that was suffocating her proved to be way too hard for him to fight against. The blonde supe decided to sit on the couch. He leaned into the couch, legs spread. 

"Alright, Babygirl. I am sitting and ready for you. You say you need me? I can't deny my girl now, can I? Where are you right now?"

"On our bed." -She replied in a gasp. Her legs opened and closed as she was getting cozy on the bed. Her heart made a little jump as she was anticipating his next question-

"What are you wearing?" -He asked, his voice husky and hot."

"Short shorts and a thin-strapped top. You know those blue shorts that cling to my ass and pussy mmhh? That short. And you?"

"You know me, baby girl. I'm always wearing my suit." -He groaned, his mind pictured her on that bed, wearing those very tight shorts that outlined her curves as if she were naked. - "Come on, Sara. You wanted me to tell you to get those fucking clothes off of you. I want you naked." -He commanded over the phone.-

"Unf...Yes, Homelander." -She put her phone on the pillow next to her ear and quickly removed her shorts and her top. He could hear the sound of fabric being wrinkled and tossed around.- "I'm done, baby. I'm naked." -She purred, her hand now stroking her soft belly.- 

"Good girl. Now I know you're already wet, baby, but why don't you take that hand of yours and use it to rub your little pussy? Yeah? Do that and tell me how wet you already are for me."

"unf... Okay..." -She moaned and let her hand slid down her belly so her fingers could start to press against her puffy pussy. She was wet already, had been from the moment she decided to place that phone call. Yet, hearing the voice of Homelander only fueled her arousal more, and she now had sticky fingers, coated with her slick from just a couple passes of her fingers over her folds- "OH... " He heard her whimpers as she touched herself, and it was enough to make him stroke his bulge. Fuck she was hot like that, needy for Homelander and not ashamed to voice it- "Baby.. I'm so wet, my fingers are all sticky from my juices..."

"Yeah? You're wet already? Little slut, you couldn't wait uh? You had to get all wet while I have to get myself ready for you. Spread that pussy with your fingers, spread it as if I was there, watching! Let me see you!" 

He commanded, a groan passed through his lips as his own touch was making him feel good. He could feel his cock twitch against the confines of his suit but he kept stroking through the fabric-Sara obeyed his command. Her fingers spread her puffy lips and then went further to also spread the little ones and expose her little holes. She panted and moaned his name.; It made Homelander groan and he could feel his cock grow and his pants tighten around him. He encouraged Sara with his grunts and slowly pushed his pants down so he could set his cock free. He let out a pleased sigh and grabbed the base of his cock with his gloved hand. Sara could hear him, and the sound of his voice sent shivers down her spine. She loved it

"Oh, Sara, I can see you. I'm sure you're well-spread for me. I'm sure I can see that wet little pussy and that tight little hole of yours. Is that the one you've been fingering all day, mmhh?" He asked, slowly rubbing his cock. Sara moaned and nodded.  She had spread herself as wide as she could, imagining the big blonde supe kneeling before her, hand wrapped around his cock as he was jerking himself off. She imagined her stare go down to his pelvis, so she could watch Homelander stroke his cock for her.

"Yes! Yes Homelander! I've been fingering my pussy all day but it doesn't work! It doesn't work because it's not you. My fingers aren't big enough!" She groaned and planted her feet into the mattress. She bent her knees and used her feet to push her hips a bit higher so she could have a better access to her pussy. "Haaan... I want to try again. I want to---" He could hear the wet sounds her folds made when Sara was brushing them with her fingers. He could imagine how she looked, soaked and needy. Her face flustered, and her eyes nearly cried from how needy she was. He loved her like that, when she wanted him and couldn't get enough of him. When she was whimpering and crying her frustration out like that. 

"Go ahead and finger that pussy for me, Babygirl. I want to hear you whimper because it feels good. I'll walk you throught it, don't worry." -She whimpered her approval and resumed rubbing her puffy cunt with her soaked fingers. He could hear it just fine. The Homelander looked at his cock, some beads of pre-cum already appeared on his crown. He passed his hand on top of it and started to smear his juices all over his cock. - "You look so good like that, baby. With your fingers on your pussy like that. I know you make the prettiest face right now! I know you look hot like that. Come on, I want you to slip your finger inside that wet little cunt for me. Can you do that, baby?" 

"Ah! Ooooh!  Homelander! I-- I--"

"I know, baby, I know. It's your finger, isn't it? You just slid one and you felt it stretch you already mmmhhh?" She positively hummed but kept fingering herself.- "Fuck, I wish I was there, baby so I could watch you finger yourself. Add another finger." -His breathing was hot and laboured. He was stroking himself harder and coated his hand with his precum. It was easier to stroke himself while he imagined Sara's spread legs and finger in her pussy. She complied and added another finger, making it two. "That's my good girl! That's it, Sara! Fuck your pussy, fuck it for me. Just like that! You look so good when you do that! Fuck! Baby! That's it! That's it!" 

"Ahhhhh!!! Haaaaan baby! Fuck it feels good! It feels so good! Uf... uf... I've got two fingers up my little pussy right now... haaan... Are-- Are you jerking off that big-- Big cock of yours?" -She managed to moan while her eyes were half-closed and staring at the ceiling.- 

Sara was happy. Hearing Homelander's voice sent shivers down her spine. He was talking to her ear, and that was enough to turn her on beyond belief. It felt as if he was whispering to her ear, as if he was right behind her and she was lying on his chest. She imagined his fingers instead of hers and the memories of how they felt in her tight cunt enhanced that little masturbation session.  She could hear him just fine, the sound of his hand making passes on his wet cock. The sound of his grunts and groans as he was enjoying himself. She could almost picture him jerking off behind her, with his length rubbing against her back. Oh, it was hot! It was so hot and she was blushing harder and fucking her wet little pussy harder as well.  He heard those wet sounds, and that encouraged him to go a little bit faster. 

"Yes! Yes, I am. I'm so nice and wet for you. I know you would have loved to suck on it, baby. You know how it looks when it's stretching your cheeks and her pretty little lips are wrapped around my dick. Unf... It would have been so much better if you were there, on your knees for me, looking up to my face with those big black eyes of yours! unf... You'd love that, wouldn't you? To suck and struggle on my cock.. unf.. struggle to swallow it whole." -that elicited a moan from the freckled face supe who arched her back and grabbed her breast. She held onto it hard while her index and third fingers were pulling on her nipple.-

"Shit! yes! yes! I would have loved it, baby! You know you can use my mouth anyway you like. You can use my body, fuck any holes you want... Haaaan... anyway you want it! Baby!  I would have sucked your cock right now. I would have choked on it. It's so big! It's so fucking big! I love it!" She yanked her head back- "I love it when it stretches my little throat! aaaah... fuck... I want it." -She cried out, eyes wet from unshed tears born out of frustration.- "I want your cock, Homelander... I'm craving it! I'm crying for it. Please, jerk it off faster, baby. I want to hear the wet sounds you make." She groaned, pulling harder on her nipple while she slowed down on her pussy, to be able to take it slower and harder. "Shit! That's a good spot!" She mumbled to herself, but he could hear it. He loved it when she was talking to herself, when she was enjoying her body like he did. It added a little Je-Ne-Sais-Quoi to the whole thing. He obliged her request and went faster, moving his phone just so it could be at the same level of his cock and record everything well. 

"That's it.. Listen to how wet your Homelander is for you. How fucking hard I am!" -He groaned and released his cock to stroke a bit his balls, imitating to the best of his abilities when she was the one who did that to him- "I can hear you cry out just fine. You're going harder now, aren't you? hard and slow uh?" -She mewled- "I knew you would. Such a naughty girl, Sara. Look at you! Look at you! Clenching your fingers, crying my name out. you want that cock to stretch your pretty little pussy don't you?" -She cried out positively-  "I know, I know. take your fingers out and suck on them. Taste yourself babygirl. taste yourself and tell me if you're lactating already. You must be given how many slutty sounds you're letting out."

Fuck he was driving her crazy with his words. Sara did as she was told and sucked on her wet fingers. She closed her eyes, savoring her taste and curling her fingers at the sensation and her strong aroma. She was wet, her pussy was holding tight onto her fingers and she could feel the first beads of milk starting to appear on her nipple. She sure was lactating for Homelander. She hummed her reply and squeezed her breast a little harder, now focused on helping her milk come out. 

"Baaaaby!" She groaned- "Oh, Baby! I wish you were here. I wish you could latch onto my nipple like you always do. Haaaaan!... My nipple is so hard, so thick... and milk is dribbling down my fingers. I wish you could come and drink from me! Haaaaan! Drink... me! I wish you could. haaan.. come and squeeze my titty for me. Ah!" She groaned again and closed her legs. "I'll do it on my own. I'll suck on my nipple like you would." -She announced-

Homelander moaned. He yanked his head back as shivers went down his spine and made his cock twitch harder against his palm. He was obsessed with Sara's breasts. Sure, they fit right into his fetish because she had thick nipples and produced milk, but there was more to it. He loved how big they were, how they barely fit into his large hand. He loved how soft and round they were, how heavy they felt against his palm. He was delirious as he remembered the taste of her milk against his tongue. He groaned and went faster on his cock. Sara's suction noises were pushing him to the edge. He could hear her drink her own milk and thought it was even hotter. Shit! she was hot! And the more she was doing things to herself, the more he wanted to fuck her. The problem was that he wasn't around. He couldn't fly to her apartment due to the situation with the boys. He couldn't just give up on everything to go fuck his girlfriend, but how he wished he could!  He heard her stop drinking her milk to catch her breath and she ran her hand back to her pussy so she could rub it. 

"I heard you babygirl. I heard you loud and clear! Did you like drinking your milk? " -She moaned a yes- "Did you spill some on your chin? Did you spill some on your belly?" -She moaned several "Yes" that fell off her lips like candies. He could hear her hand slap her wet pussy and grunted as he heard her whimper. She pressed her engorged clit and rubbed it harder.- "Oh, you're losing your mind, baby. I can tell. You want to finger yourself again, don't you? You want to feel my cock back in mmhhh?"

"I'm losing my mind, baby! I want to cum." She cried out, still rubbing her folds. "I want to cum, please! Please baby! Please come and fuck me. I need you to stretch my cunt. I need... you! I need you!" She could feel her tears pooling at the corner of her eyes. He could feel her rattled breath, the sound of the sheets shifting because of her. He had to help her get over the edge. He had to. So Homelander spoke to her. 

"I want you to slip two fingers back in, baby. I want you to feel how tight your pussy is. I want you to slide your fingers slowly... yes! Slowly, like that baby girl. Go slow, feel your tight walls clench around your fingers like my cock would. Oh, you like it, uh? You like when I stretch your little pussy, uh? When I make you feel stuffed! when you can’t do shit but take me! Yes! Yes, like that! take that pussy for me, baby. Take that pussy for me! take it hard! Fuck! Sara!"

Sara couldn't stop fingering herself. She couldn't stop pounding into her wet and warm little cunt and Homelander's encouraging words, grunts and groans were enough to push her over the edge. She came in a scream. That beautiful sound erupted from deep within her chest, and she soaked her fingers and hand, the sheets, her thighs... Her scream turned into pants and whimpers, and she managed to moan "Homelander", over and over again, and enough for him to join her in her climax. He came in his hand in a loud moan, coated his skin with his cum and grunted on the phone. Sara was crying, sniffling into her phone. 

"Baby.... baby, please come home. Come home okay? I need you here. I miss you.. I miss you so much..."

"I'll come back as soon as I can, Sara. I promise. I'll be back. I love you."

"I love you, too."

-TBC-

TB shorts

"Look, Homelander is the one the word "scarouse" was made for. I mean, he's handsome as hell, hot as hell, and I need my baby okay? but when he's upset and dangerous? He's scary... and he's hot at the same time! So I end up having the heebies-jeebies and the wetty wetties. okay?"

xxxx

What does it feel like to be lonely at the top?

Safe would be the first word to come to mind.

Desperate would be the second one.

I stripped all of my layers for you, trusting you will care for the real me.

I lowered all of my defenses for you, trusting that you will care for me.

It's because I wanted you, baby. I wanted all of you.

It's because I trusted you, baby. you'll never hurt me.

I know, I know that I have been had in the past. Put my trust in the wrong people. Gave my love to the wrong people.

But I know that I'm in the right with you.

I know that I'm the right one for you.

I know that you love me.

You love me.

Don't you baby?

xxxx

What do you see when you look at me? The eccentric singer? The energetic artist? The woman in love with you? The Only Fans content maker? The broken-hearted woman? The broken young girl? The unwanted orphan? The abused child? Tell me...which version of me do you see?

xxx

And what if I told you that I couldn't sleep at night without your arms wrapped around my body? And what if I told you that I can't start the day without seeing your face and hearing your voice? What about it? What would you say to it? I have you under my skin and there is nothing that could compare to how you make me feel, baby. I love you.

xxxx

All I wanted, all I ever wanted was to have someone who cared about me. 

All I wanted, all I ever wanted was to have someone who could see me.

Sara...not Unnamed Girl. I needed someone who could see me as I really was. 

Someone who would like me without artifices, makeup, or lies. 

I found it with him. Homelander that is. 

It's absurd come to think of it, how my parents and family could have been different.

They could have loved me, they could have cherished me and I would have given them back tenfolds.

Instead, my parents tried to use me and trained me to become the family money-maker.

Instead, my family ostracized me, thinking of me as nothing less than a monster.

I found love with him. Homelander that is.

xxxx

She was so carefree, and finally her hard work paid off somehow. Sara had always longed for a place to belong, for love, for recognition. She wanted to matter to someone, not just as a singer or an Only Fans model, but also as a person. She was so carefree and could finally look back at her life. She knew that her parents would have hated her career. They would say she was vulgar and was wasting her life and skills. They would have hated her relationships, and disapproved of her sexuality. They would have first encouraged her to date him but then, as his reputation would have deteriorated, they would have urged her to break up with him to protect her brand. To hell with them! To hell with her extended family since they rejected her! To hell with her haters. She was carefree. She was loved. She was there

xxxx

"I used to think that I should give everything to my fans, and don't get me wrong, I love them because they love me. I love them because they put me where I am today. I just want to love myself more and try and find some happiness for myself. So I no longer think that I have to sacrifice everything to my fans and that I deserved to find what would make me genuinely happy too."

xxxx

I use glitter and glamour to hide the pain inside. I use glitter and glamour to pretend that everything is fine. Only those who care about me can see right through me. But who does? Who really cares?

xxxx

"Be careful when you talk to me, I could throw you against a wall if I don't like what you're saying."

xxxxx

"There is Sara and there is Unnamed Girl. I thought I could live without Sara because Unnamed Girl was the one who got most of the love. I wanted to drown the true version of myself since she was hated by those close to me. It could have worked, it would have worked if I had not met The Homelander. He saw through me. He saw the real me. He loves me for me and no one can ever take it away from me."

xxxx

TB: love persevered.

Sara has had her heart broken so many times. She didn't know a human being could handle so much pain in such a long time. The constant slew of betrayals she experienced should have hardened her heart but ultimately, it kept it soft. It kept it kind and it kept it hopelessly romantic. 

From the moment she was born, Sara had never known true love. Her parents used her for fame and money. They even went as far as to inject her with compound V. They exploited her until they both were killed by Black Noir. At the orphanage, she fell in love with Mallory... another teenager who became her first love. Mal taught her that she could be loved but ultimately, her demons were so overwhelming that she left Sara. Brett and Tara both left her and left Sara heartbroken and alone. 

So how could she still believe in love? How could she believe that she was worthy of being loved and cared for?  She had no answer for that and decided not to try and find it. Her heart had been torn apart, broken into pieces, and stomped on. Still, love persevered. Wasn't it a miracle?

TB: They say he is scary.

They say he is scary, they say he's a monster but I can't hear that noise. I can't see him as such because I know he wants to protect our species. I can't see him as such because he's always so good with me.  

They don't know him like I do. They don't love him like I do. They don't see just how much care and love he has for his kind and how much he wants to protect his family...How sensitive he can be. I guess it's because of his powers or maybe because he is charismatic. 

I don't know but I feel bad for him. I feel bad that people don't want to see him for who he is but don't fret my love. I am here. I love you and I will make sure that you never feel alone. 

TB: Bolder than she used to be.

Since she started to date Homelander, Sara found herself to be far bolder than she used to be. She unlocked something inside her, something wilder, something powerful. Spending time with him made her want to explore the use of her powers some more, to become more comfortable in her own skin and make sure that no one could talk her down. 

Crossing paths with her exes opened old wounds that hurt her still to this day but she now has someone she can rely on. She has someone she loves and someone who loves her too. She wants to be free from Brett and Tara and is now looking forward to facing these two assholes.

TB: Unlikely meeting

// I feel so sorry for Sara, but we know that because she hasn't faced her traumas, she is extremely sensitive and fragile whenever her exes show up or when her family trashes her on TV/ newspapers. 

xxxxx

Exhausted after an intensive day at the studio, the singer dragged her feet to her favorite bar near her home. It was a quiet place, one that wasn't crowded unless it was a Friday night. She usually would stop by and get some beer to unwind from the day. Things seemed to be looking up for her, she was inspired for her new album, one where she would put the focus on love and desire. She kept her fitness regimen and even managed to perform some old choreography for old hits she intended to perform live again. She was in love too, and that feeling kept her warm and fuzzy inside. She was in love with the most wonderful man. A man who wanted her. A man who needed her. A man who welcomed her, as she was, without the need for covering up her freckles and shrinking herself to make him more comfortable. She could feel butterflies in her stomach and was wondering if that was true love, as it never happened to her to give herself to another person to this extent before. 

While lost in her thoughts, she was caught off-guard by the couple who had walked into the bar. Her eyes grew wide and she quickly grabbed her glass to drink just to have something to do with her hands. That woman... that tall woman who walked past her and sat on the table next to her... It couldn't be, could it? She started to shake and refused to turn her head to have a better look at the woman who sat next to her. If it was someone she knew, she would feel even more embarrassed than she was. She couldn't suddenly leave since her glass was still decently full and she had not paid for it just yet. Her heart started to beat fast against her ribcage and the singer kept her lips sealed onto her glass, unable to put it away.  Opposite to that woman was another woman and this time, Sara could look at her without looking suspicious. She was a cute petite blonde woman. Her skin was fair and flawless, her smile was warm and endearing, and she was dressed light for a night that fresh, a short green floral dress with a plain white shirt on top of it but she looked happy, curious even. Sara's heart was pounding so fast against her ribcage that she couldn't hear their conversation in full, just bits and pieces of words. "Oh, so you used to come here?" would ask the blonde. " "Yes..." Then it became difficult to hear... but Sara forced herself to put the glass on the table and tuck her hair behind her ears. 

That voice. She would have recognized it anywhere. She even heard it a couple weeks ago on TV. The world was so vast, why did her ex have to find herself in their former bar? Did she come here on purpose? Did she want Sara to see her with her new girlfriend? Why was it hurting her so badly? Why was she panicking? Sara was slowly spiraling into questions, wondering why someone she didn't want to meet again had just crossed the door of her quiet and favorite place? It shouldn't matter anyway. She was dating the most handsome and most perfect person ever: Homelander. She was happy with him, despite their relationship being rather "young", she felt that she had met the right person at long last. That was certain, what was less certain, however, was the reaction she was having upon meeting her ex at such a late time of the day and at an unexpected place. Perhaps, without make-up and with a rather plain look, she would not be recognized and her ex would leave her alone? Why would Tara Bennett of all people be there??!! Well, this time she wasn't alone so maybe she would leave Sara at peace.  She grabbed her phone and started to text Homelander to calm herself down and was startled when Tara put her hand on her shoulder. 

"You didn't even say hi. How impolite of you, Sara." -Tara sneered before she ran her hand through her hair and offered a sly grin to the woman.- 

"Ta...Ra. I haven't seen you around in years... How... unexpected of you to show up here. I thought you hated the place?" -She tried to keep her composure and put her phone against her chest, which was noticed by the tall woman.-

"Well.... Lina wanted to try this one, who was I to refuse such a cute request?"

Tara had not removed her hand from Sara's shoulder, instead, she squeezed a little harder to establish her dominance in this situation. She was still standing next to Sara, one hand in her pants pocket while the other held Sara in place. She had her where she wanted her and Sara was unable to escape her claws. She wanted to puke, she wanted to stand up and run away from the situation but she couldn't, so she tried hard to fake her way out of this. Her lips trembled but she managed to fake a smile while her eyes set upon the beautiful Tara Bennett. She was a tall and lean Eurasian woman, her mother was Japanese and her father was German which gave Tara unique and beautiful features. Much to Sara's surprise, Tara had cut her hair short and was sporting a gorgeous wolf cut that enhanced her beauty and framed her face perfectly. 

"She is cute indeed." She paused "I'm happy for your Tara." Was all she could muster. Tara lifted a brow. 

"Happy for me? Happy for me and you're not even able to look me in the eyes? Oohhh, Sara. You're still a terrible liar after all these years." She bent a little forward just so she could whisper into Sara's ear. "I bet your heart is beating fast right now. You're heavily breathing." She grinned. "I bet that you've missed me...you're blushing, you're confused... you're year--"

"No!" Sara stood up suddenly. She looked at the table and noticed that Lina was not there, meaning that Tara had waited for her girlfriend to leave for whatever reason so she could be alone and taunt Sara. "You belong to my past and you should stay there!" She then glanced at her shoulder and flicked the arm off of it. "Do not touch me again."

"or what? You're going to cry to your partner?" how did she know? Sara felt her eyes grow wider and she shook her head, perhaps too hastily for her lie to be compelling. "Tssk, you're such a bad liar. So you're seeing someone."

"I do not need someone to come to my rescue. I'm not some fucking damsel in distress, Tara! But since you brought it up, I am happy actually. I am loved and cared for. You left me and while it took me some time to realize that you freed me from you, I now can say that I am grateful you left. Lina seems lovely, perhaps you've molded her to best suit your taste. I found someone who didn't need to change who I was and I can appreciate it thanks to your lesson. now excuse me, but I have places to be and my beer has lost its appeal." She said, turning around and waving at the bartender to catch his attention. Just before she was about to leave, Tara grabbed her wrist again. She wanted to test Sara and see if she would do something about it.  Sara swallowed a lump but didn't move, unable to take one step forward as she felt the hard grip of her former girlfriend on her wrist.  Her eyes were filled with unshed tears but she managed to bite back a pleading sob. 

"That was one hell of a speech, little rabbit. I'll let you hop off the bar and run into your partner's arms. I'm sure we're going to meet again and perhaps this time you would be a much nicer little girl to me." 

Sara couldn't protest, she felt humiliated. She wanted to run away and now that Tara had called her out, she just wanted the floor to crack open so she could escape. Why was she like this? For this asshole? Sara had read to filth so many people, she had the strength inside her to push Tara away and call her out on her behavior, but it was too soon. She hadn't healed enough. She was hurt still...She needed to leave. Tara waited a few seconds that lasted an eternity for Sarra before she released her. "Ahah... Run little Rabbit, Run. You'll see, you'll sing a different tune when we meet again." She got what she wanted, Sara still was impacted by her, still terrified of her and Tara relished in the potential fun she could have with her. It made her grin as she watched Sara pay for her beer and quickly exit the place. 

Sara on the other hand felt miserable. She ran so fast that she didn't pay attention and fell on a middle-aged man who was minding his own business. She fell on him and apologized before he offered to help her stand up. Sara looked at him, heavily breathing before she simply burst into tears and held his hand to stand back up. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She whispered before resuming her run towards her home. She had to take a shower and remove the scent of Tara Bennet from her. She was so upset that she didn't even notice Homelander waiting for her on her balcony. She didn't notice anything, her vision was too blurry. All she needed was to reach her door and lock herself into safety. Why did it have to be today? Why did it have to be Tara? Why did she feel so weak when it came to people from her past? She stopped running once she faced her door and covered her mouth to cry into it. It awoke a deep fear in her heart, the fear of being such a bore or a problem for Homelander that he would decide to break up with her. Tara dumped her after all... Brett did it too... How could she be sure Homelander wouldn't leave her too? That was the fear Tara awoke inside her, a fear that clung to her heart. Fucking Hell! 

TB: His scent

Sara's flat, Friday 5 pm

Sara was folding clothes to place them in her closet. She quickly worked through her clothes and suddenly found John's grey sweatpants in the pile.  She smiled and sat on the bed next to the pile of clothes she had not folded yet. She took the sweatpants to her face and took a deep breath. It didn't smell like Homelander anymore but it didn't matter. He wore it for her. He wore it because he wanted to make her happy. He wanted to try and she thought he had managed well for a first try. A smile crept on her face and she pressed the clean item against her face. Homelander had returned to the tower, so they were unable to spend time together, much to her dismay.  His scent brought her comfort, something fierce that made her feel like she belonged and was protected. It brought something feral from deep within her, something that made her want to touch him. She wanted to bite his ear, to wrap her arms around his waist, to rub his chest and discover his body and every little crease and curve of his. She missed his scent, but the sweatpants were enough to make her think about him. 

She was missing him and felt her heartbeat go faster. It made her blush and she bit her bottom lip. She had him under her skin, through and through. She couldn't even deny it by now. She wanted to see him again, perhaps take him out for lunch or call him when she was in her dance rehearsal. She wanted him to fly to her concert venue and steal a kiss before a show. She wanted to live a true romance, something she never had in the past given her poor choice of partners. She wanted to be loved, doted upon, and adored by her partner and Homelander did just that. He made her feel safe, beautiful and wanted. He made her feel seen. She kissed the sweatpants and then put them back on her lap. A loving sigh escaped her lips and she yanked her head back, to focus on the ceiling. She was in love with John but decided to give it time. She wanted to give them time to get comfortable with each other and create a safe environment for their relationship to blossom. "Aaawww... I miss my baby." And she missed him indeed. 

TB: YOu owe nothing to them

Remember guys,

Your deadbeat parents and family aren't owed your love and presence. They aren't owed your attention! They certainly aren't owed your help and your money.

Mom and Dad wanted me to be their money-maker, ended up stealing shit from Vaught and got killed for it. I don't miss them. I didn't have Christmas, it was reward day! I had to perform well if I wanted to have a dolly! I didn't have my birthdays as well. my parents just told me "oh today you're 4, 5, 6 etc..." They were not meant to be parents but I survived them! I became my own parents. I am my own person!

The rest of the family? bigots and zealots! They rejected me because I had powers and was a "demon child". They let me rot at the orphanage. They rejected me when I aged out of the system and now that I am famous and rich, some are trying to tear me apart, others are trying to pretend they have always cared and I'm the mean one. Pffttt, they can cry all they want. I don't care. They're nothing to me. They will never be.

Take care guys,

UG

TB Headcanon: Their Haters

Headcanon: Their Haters

A/N: I'll tackle the difficult topic of them not being liked at all "in-universe". Of course, there are people who absolutely love them (more than their haters) 

xxxxxxxxxxx

Sara and Homelander worked really hard for their relationship to be as stable as it was today. It wasn't because they didn't have feelings for each other. Feelings were definitely here from the very beginning. Sometimes feelings weren't enough. Sara was terrified of being abandoned yet again. She had a fair share of bad relationships filled with people who either used her or didn't care for her. It made her crave attention. it made her crave crumbs of affection. She needed someone who would be focused on her and her only. Someone who wouldn't feel threatened by her fame and who wouldn't want to mold her into who she wasn't. As plagued as she was and as hard as Sara was trying to work on herself, it didn't stop Homelander from trying to do right by her. 

After all, he was plagued with insecurities of his own. He had been worried about this new relationship. After having been unlucky with women for as long as he could remember, Homelander didn't want to fall for a woman who would backstab him or who would manipulate him like the others did. he didn't want to be replaced by someone else, something else (her fans? pffftt he didn't like that so many people could set their eyes on his girl. He didn't like that they required her attention so much. ) and he didn't want to be heartbroken again. Madelyne broke his heart and Stormfront killed herself rather than stay with him. but together they worked just fine and found common ground and at the end of the day, Sara and Homelander always found a way to bounce back together.

So where was the issue? What was the problem? The others were. Everyone felt entitled to shove their opinion down the couple's throats. It didn't matter when these were positive and encouraging words. Dotty, her manager, was shipping them really hard and always tried to know everything, especially the very intimate and spicy details. It was a way for her to know how to sell her "product" to investors but also, a way for her to keep tabs on her protegée. Ashley was also very excited! She knew that this relationship would be positive for the Supe. He chose a well-known megastar who came from a minority group (so of course, that was great for the diversity points) and who had a sad background (her parents had been murdered and she was forced into an orphanage). For her, the pairing was a match made in heaven and she couldn't help but « gush » about it, in her very own way. That, again, was alright for Sara and Homelander.

What wasn't, was the negative reactions they got from people. It was beyond anything they could have thought of. Some of the fans hated the couple. Her fans didn't like this pairing because they thought she was settling for less. They thought of her as a goddess and he was a murderous nutjob who wasn't worth her time. He was a man-child, someone unreliable who would hurt Sara in the long run.  If it wasn't enough, some of her fans thought that he would force her to stop her career and immediately hated the guy. They didn't want Sara to stop singing and performing to become a superhero wife. She didn't care about their opinion, mostly because she knew she would keep singing. It was her career, what she was made for. He couldn't take it away from her because then, she wouldn't be happy. He didn't want her to be unhappy because that meant, she wouldn't be willing to care for him. 

 Sara had to deal with Homelander's fans. Oh, these fools... these fools who came from the cesspools Stormfront found them.  They accused her of distracting their Lord and saviors. They hated her so much, so loudly and so vocally that she sometimes was affected by what she read online.  Everywhere they read insults coming her way, from her being a freak,  A stupid singer, to her being a black woman. « She's not attractive enough for Homelander ». « I didn't know he could be with someone like her. They so don't match. », « I thought he had better tastes, she looks like a man. » « Why is she so dark ? » or « It's just some jungle fever, once he'll get over it, he'll dump her ass I'm pretty sure. » It was just the tip of the iceberg of the disgrace humanity could be. Sara had a lot of trouble handling the hateful comments on her social media or on the streets. It was even harder when she tried to spend some time with Homie outside. 

She often treated them to a nice restaurant or to a nice bar where they could share a couple of beers. Before they dated, she had a couple of joints she liked and she was known at and they always ended up in one of these because, in most regular bars or restaurants, they would look at them as if they were aliens and in this time and age, people would openly disrespect her in front of him. Sara had to control herself not to burst into anger and attack these humans and she had to calm down Homelander so he didn't laser their brains either. It became frustrating but it only had them even more determined to make their relationship work. It would take more than an angry mob to make Homelander stop dating Sara and the same went for her. They survive the worst that could have happened to both of them. 

Their love was forged through fire and would still go strong regardless of how many people agreed or disagreed with it. She was the only woman who made him feel that way, the only one he wanted to look at and love, the only one to give him goosebumps whenever he stared at her, and the only smile on the planet who killed his very own demons. She thought he was a rock in her ocean, the light in her darkness, and that infectious smile of his never failed to make her smile too. He was everything she dreamed of having one day and even more. Homelander might not have been a good person, he was a nutjob, a murderer and sometimes she was afraid of him BUT... He loved her. He tried his best with her and that was the most important for her. Yes. Together they experienced what it was to love and be loved without limits. They experienced how it felt to live without the other. Together, they learned how they could move mountains and that they never want to live in a world without one another.

You could hate them all you want, it didn't matter.

It never mattered, to begin with.

TB she couldn't trust his face.

"She knew she shouldn't trust his face. Something about him screamed danger. He was a dangerous man. He was so dangerous that he could snap at any moment and end her life. Sara had done everything she could to stay alive and lead a quiet life. She tried to stay out of trouble but TROUBLE came into her life like a car crash.

Homelander. He was impossible. Impossible to beat, impossible to read, impossible to anticipate. He was DANGER incarnate, something that awoke a primordial fear inside her. he was terrifying and she could feel fear cling to her bones. She could feel fear cripple her (and alongside it, her breasts milk her shirts). She was scared he would hurt her because of something she'd do that wouldn't please him.

Yet... yet... there was more to him than meets the eye. She could feel it. He was not the kind of man who would hurt those who cared for him. He wouldn't hurt people who would be honest with him. Heck, even his feud with Butcher didn't finish with him killing the bastard (no matter how many chances he got). So perhaps, he was longing for companionship? perhaps, he was like her, in some way? He wanted someone he could trust and who could care for him? Perhaps, he had depths and layers? She didn't know the truth about him. (the whole truth that is), but she knew enough to suspect that he was in pain and he was alone. so if she could provide him her company and compassion, maybe he would feel less lonely. Perhaps, she would feel less lonely. perhaps she wouldn't feel attracted to him in a way she couldn't comprehend yet. who knew? but DANGER himself? "

Doya: We can't always win

Doya: We can't always win

A/N: A small nothing, because I thought of our babies. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dean came back from his last mission with Sam and found Oya in their room, training as she always did. However, he realized that she had been training for way too long as her fists were blood-soaked, and her bandages were stained with blood. He noticed the fresh scars on her back and shoulder blades, barely covered by her sports bra and the few elements she broke in the room, such as a picture of her, Dean took a while ago and had framed for the both of them. Something went wrong. The Winchester dropped his bag -the noise didn't even alert the hunter- and quickly walked towards Oya.

« Oya... » He announced himself, so she wouldn't be startled by his presence near her. She nodded but kept kicking the air. « What the hell, Oya? » He said loudly, forcing the petite hunter to stop kicking and finally notice him.

The pain slowly crept back into her brain, making her painfully aware of how exhausted she was and how overworked her body was. She dropped her head and closed her eyes. Dean came closer and grabbed both arms of the woman. Worried sick, he shook her up before she opened her eyes again and set them on him. She was upset, he could tell by the way she was stiff and her eyes were red from tears she probably shed when he wasn't here. He could see regret in her eyes, and guilt, the very same he felt when Bobby died and it was enough for him to know that her last mission went awfully wrong. People died. She shook her head, unable to speak through pain and gently laid her head against his chest. Dean wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. She relaxed against his chest and sniffled. Oya rarely cried but he knew she needed to vent, so he didn't say anything. Instead, he let her weep against him, his left hand found a way into her heavy black locks while his right one was holding her into place.

He was here, so she could stop beating herself for the death of these kids she wasn't able to protect. How could she defeat a demon this strong, on her own? Her crippling fear of those creatures already made casualties she would never be able to get over with. Kids... she let kids die -well, she was bested by the demon but it still felt as if she was the one who let it happens. Dean shrugged and gently planted kisses on top of her head as he wanted to comfort her. He knew she was having a hard time, not just because of the bruises and the dried blood on her body, but also because she wasn't even talking to him. It was unlike Oya to not greet him, even when the day was tough and the hunt was difficult, she always said something. Today she simply couldn't and he knew that her trauma was bigger than she let on. She had to watch the worst happen, she had to take it personally and make herself responsible for the catastrophe. He knew she was blaming herself for failing, just like he would. As the petite hunter sobbed against the taller man, he gently walked her to the bed where he laid her on her back, carefully making sure she wasn't hissing in pain or too uncomfortable given her bruises. She did snarl, but when he tried to leave the bed in order to get her something more comfortable to wear or lay on, she held his arm and shook her head. Oya couldn't care about comfort as long as Dean was with her. So he changed his mind and laid next to her.

They remained there in silence, with him stroking her arms while she wept against him. It pained him to see her this distraught, but he knew that the best he could do in a moment like this one was to be there with her. Words couldn't mend broken hearts, but actions could. His warmth or hers, his smiles or hers, his...heart and hearts. All he could do was show he was here for her and she was safe with him. He would wait until she felt good enough to speak just like she did. Dean wouldn't sing to Oya, not when she was in shock like right now. He would hold her instead, hold her tight. He would make her listen to his steady heartbeats. He would anchor her back to reality, sometimes with kisses, sometimes with his hands roaming over the soft and toned skin of hers. And it worked... it always worked. Just like her singing appeased the man, his caresses did the same to her. After a couple of hours, when Oya was finally able to calm down, Dean sat on the bed. She pulled herself up and leaned against the headrest.

« They were just kids Dean.... babies... I couldn't protect them. » She finally let out, while her fingers fidgeted against the hem of his shirt.

« We can't always win, Oya. That's the ugly part of our job. We can't protect them all...The most innocents of us all always get the shorter end of the stick...And there's no real reason for this shit. » He said, looking up at the ceiling in hopes Chuck could hear him.

« I know...It sucks...Dean, they were too young to die,,, » She said, wiping her tears off of her face, with the back of her hand.

« I know, O.... but you've punished yourself enough already. » She nodded and rolled her eyes, but he was right. She had punished herself enough and had to deal with the pain she ignored for way too long. « Let's grab a shower and I'll take a look at your wounds? » She nodded and as he stood up, she followed him and wrapped her arms around his waist. « There, there...Leave it to me. » He planted a kiss on her forehead and quietly took her to the shower. Tonight, he would be taking care of her, no matter what.

-TBC-

hug me

Hug me!

I never was one to ask about being hugged and completely ignored the impact one big warm embrace could have on my mind. I never thought that I could be the one asking for one. it's not that it slipped off of my mind, but I'm pretty much withdrawn and always choose to nurse my wounds on my very own.

It wasn't until I met them that I realized how much I needed to be hugged. I never asked, but never needed to because it was given to me. After any traumatic event, any frustrating situation, any pain one of us could feel, always we received a warm embrace, a kiss on the forehead, a stroke on our backs. And always I noticed that while it didn't solve my issues, it made me feel much better. I felt I could stand another day..another month. Another year.

Hug me!

Don't let go of me, please. I thought I could do this alone, I thought I was strong enough but I realized I couldn't. I feel like I'm Atlas but even he needed help to carry the world on his shoulders. I don't want to carry the World on my shoulders, not alone per say. I don't want to keep my pain in my chest and wait for it to fester like a disease while I watch like an outsider.

Don't let me on my own. Yes, I'm asking you. I never do but right now, I'll make an exception. I am scared. I'm scared of tomorrow not coming. I'm scared of my life crashing down. I'm scared of losing control and not taking it back. I'm scared of losing you, all of you. I don't want to be afraid alone. I don't want to be afraid anymore...So yes, I'm asking you, wrap your arms around my frame, pull me closer, make me feel your warmth and presence. I need it.

I need you.