"Look, Homelander is the one the word "scarouse" was made for. I mean, he's handsome as hell, hot as hell, and I need my baby okay? but when he's upset and dangerous? He's scary... and he's hot at the same time! So I end up having the heebies-jeebies and the wetty wetties. okay?"
xxxx
What does it feel like to be lonely at the top?
Safe would be the first word to come to mind.
Desperate would be the second one.
I lowered all of my defenses for you, trusting that you will care for me.
It's because I wanted you, baby. I wanted all of you.
It's because I trusted you, baby. you'll never hurt me.
I know, I know that I have been had in the past. Put my trust in the wrong people. Gave my love to the wrong people.
But I know that I'm in the right with you.
I know that I'm the right one for you.
I know that you love me.
You love me.
Don't you baby?
xxxx
What do you see when you look at me?
The eccentric singer?
The energetic artist?
The woman in love with you?
The Only Fans content maker?
The broken-hearted woman?
The broken young girl?
The unwanted orphan?
The abused child?
Tell me...which version of me do you see?
xxx
And what if I told you that I couldn't sleep at night without your arms wrapped around my body? And what if I told you that I can't start the day without seeing your face and hearing your voice? What about it? What would you say to it? I have you under my skin and there is nothing that could compare to how you make me feel, baby. I love you.
xxxx
All I wanted, all I ever wanted was to have someone who cared about me.
All I wanted, all I ever wanted was to have someone who could see me.
Sara...not Unnamed Girl. I needed someone who could see me as I really was.
Someone who would like me without artifices, makeup, or lies.
I found it with him. Homelander that is.
It's absurd come to think of it, how my parents and family could have been different.
They could have loved me, they could have cherished me and I would have given them back tenfolds.
Instead, my parents tried to use me and trained me to become the family money-maker.
Instead, my family ostracized me, thinking of me as nothing less than a monster.
I found love with him. Homelander that is.
xxxx
She was so carefree, and finally her hard work paid off somehow. Sara had always longed for a place to belong, for love, for recognition. She wanted to matter to someone, not just as a singer or an Only Fans model, but also as a person.
She was so carefree and could finally look back at her life. She knew that her parents would have hated her career. They would say she was vulgar and was wasting her life and skills. They would have hated her relationships, and disapproved of her sexuality. They would have first encouraged her to date him but then, as his reputation would have deteriorated, they would have urged her to break up with him to protect her brand.
To hell with them! To hell with her extended family since they rejected her! To hell with her haters. She was carefree. She was loved. She was there
xxxx
"I used to think that I should give everything to my fans, and don't get me wrong, I love them because they love me. I love them because they put me where I am today. I just want to love myself more and try and find some happiness for myself. So I no longer think that I have to sacrifice everything to my fans and that I deserved to find what would make me genuinely happy too."
xxxx
I use glitter and glamour to hide the pain inside.
I use glitter and glamour to pretend that everything is fine.
Only those who care about me can see right through me.
But who does? Who really cares?
xxxx
"Be careful when you talk to me, I could throw you against a wall if I don't like what you're saying."
xxxxx
"There is Sara and there is Unnamed Girl. I thought I could live without Sara because Unnamed Girl was the one who got most of the love. I wanted to drown the true version of myself since she was hated by those close to me. It could have worked, it would have worked if I had not met The Homelander. He saw through me. He saw the real me. He loves me for me and no one can ever take it away from me."
xxxx
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